Finding Nora

by Ripley Proserpina

  You're stalling. Allowing herself a final glance, she opened the door.

  When she got to the basement, Dr. Murray was in the hallway, speaking to Jessica. He turned when he heard her approach, smiling warmly, but with the right amount of apology. “Hey, Nora. I’m sorry, so thank you.”

  She shrugged, glancing at her wrist and smiling when she saw Seok’s watch. “I need to be gone by five. I’m going out to dinner.”

  The way she said it probably gave away that she hadn’t had a birthday dinner in, well, she’d never had a birthday dinner.

  “Plenty of time then.”

  Part of her anxiety revolved around getting out of there, and she relaxed somewhat. Now, she could safely push the worry aside.

  “Happy birthday, Nora.” Jessica smiled at her. “Can you come with me so I can take some initial stats and then we’ll get started?”

  “I thought you said someone else was here.” No one else was in the hall.

  “He is. You’ll meet him in a minute. He just stepped out. Oh wait!” He walked to them, his hand outstretched. “Do you have the cell phone? I want to switch it out with a different model. I got a grant to upgrade.” Smiling, he rubbed his hands together.

  “Okay.” She dropped her backpack to the floor, rooting around for the cell phone and handing it to him.

  “Thanks,” he said. “I’ll be right back.” He jogged down the hall, and through the door leading to the stairs.

  “Ready?” Jessica asked.

  She opened the door to one of the rooms, and stepped inside, waiting for Nora to follow her. This room was different than the last one. The first room where she completed the IQ and personality testing was bright white and sterile. The sound had echoed off the cement, making her head pound. There was a two-way mirror, and a table and chairs, and was supremely uncomfortable.

  This room was that room’s creepier twin. Not much had been done to renovate it. The walls were dark green, and chipped in places, revealing grey cement. The floor was the same linoleum as lined the first floor’s hallway, cream and orange tile, except stained. Flickering fluorescent lights would leave her with another headache, she was sure.

  “How can you stand it?” she asked Jessica, who gestured to the one vinyl covered chair under the metal table.

  She sat where she wanted, and waited. Jessica held up a finger, and then began to take her pulse. She was quiet so long, Nora wondered if she’d forgotten she’d been asked a question. Turning to the table, she took out the blood pressure cuff, and wrapped it around her arm.

  Off-balance and anxious, she decided not to ask anymore questions. Jessica didn’t glance at the light, so it obviously didn’t bother her. A knock on the metal door made her jump as the cuff inflated again.

  “Hey, Nora.” Dr. Murray poked his head in. “I’ve got to run off campus, for like, an hour. Jess, I need you.”

  “You’re not doing the interview?”

  “No. I’ll review the video later.” He pointed to the corners of the room. “Surveillance,” he said, and winked at her.

  Jessica unwrapped the cuff and put it away. “They make me crazy,” she said as she placed the cuff in a bag. “I have a killer headache from the last interview. But our other interview room is being treated for asbestos. So we’re SOL.”

  “Oh,” she replied, uneasily and drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. “Okay.”

  “He’ll be in momentarily,” Dr. Murray said, making room for Jessica to pass by him. “Thanks again, Nora.”

  You’re welcome? She gave him a smile she didn’t mean, and watched him leave, closing the door behind him. The lights continued to flicker, and then some fuse must have caught because they suddenly came on, along with a buzzing sound specific to fluorescence. She shifted her weight, crossing her ankles, and the chair tipped. Adjusting her weight, it tipped the other way. No matter which way she shifted, the chair rocked. Finally, she gave up, feet on the floor to brace herself and leaned her elbows on the metal table.

  Only a few minutes had passed since the boys dropped her off. Reaching for her soda, she took a sip, tilting her head back to get the last few drops. With the lights on, she could better make out the room. It looked better in the dark. Now she could read what people had written on the walls, and some of it made her shudder. Strips of fly paper hung from the ceiling, and in the corners of the room—she peered closer— mouse traps? She picked her feet up again, but when the chair rocked, she sighed, putting them back on the floor.

  Minutes ticked by. She wasn’t sure how long she spent examining the room, but it was long enough to think she’d been forgotten. Maybe Dr. Murray’s buddy thought they were in a different room, or his office. She swallowed. The idea of being alone in Converse Hall’s basement gave her goosebumps.

  At least it wasn’t one of the morgue rooms Tyler told her about. Standing up, she walked over to the door and grasped the knob, but it wouldn’t turn. Thinking she might have pushed in a lock, she tried to twist it the other way. The knob barely turned at all, giving a little click, as if to let her know, yes, dummy, it still doesn’t work when you try this way, either.

  Panic built in her chest. She pulled at the knob, wondering if it was one of those knobs she needed to push and turn to lock. But it remained firm. This is bullshit. She found her backpack, ready to pull out her cell phone to call the guys. Too bad for Dr. Murray, he would have to deal with disappointment. She wasn’t waiting around all day, in a murder room, for some dude she didn’t know to ask her questions she didn’t want to answer. She unzipped the pouch, shoving her hand inside, only to encounter, nothing.

  She’d given her phone to Dr. Murray. Of course. She snorted, shaking her head back and forth. Damn.

  Going to the door, she pounded on it with her fist. “Hello?” she called.

  She pressed her ear against the cold metal, listening intently, but she didn’t hear anything. She pounded on it again. “Hello?”

  Nora got on her knees, cringing at the dirty floor. Tossing her braid to her back so it didn’t touch it, she lay down.

  Through the gap between the tile and edge of the door, she could only see a few feet directly in front of her, but it was clear no one was there. She pressed her mouth closer to the gap and called out again, “Hello? Dr. Murray? Jessica?”

  The room suddenly plunged into darkness, and she screamed, sitting fast. Her eyes opened wide, and her breath came in quick, audible pants.

  Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

  She couldn’t see anything, only slightly darker spots of blackness. She laid her head on the floor again, staring out at the bright floor in the hallway. “Seok! Cai!”

  Her voice cracked, and she shut her eyes tightly, trying to calm herself before opening them again. For a moment, the thin shaft of light threw her back in time. Instead of being in the darkened room, Nora was in the cafeteria at the high school. And instead of looking into the hallway, she peered out of a doorway, making sure no one was waiting for her outside with an automatic weapon. For a second, she could see the blue sky, and the red dumpster. Crying out, she turned her head to the floor, squeezing her eyes shut.

  Head pressed into the back of her hands, palms slowly warming the cold, gritty tile beneath them, she waited. Her knees ached where they rested against the floor, her quick breathing the only sound in the room.

  Warm tears dropped onto her hands, and she choked. She turned her head to the gap again, this time keeping her eyes shut tight.

  “Cai!” She could barely get his name out. “Seok!” Taking a deep breath, she screamed, “Cai!” Her voice broke, and she turned her head onto her hands again. As her fear increased, her entire body shook, breath echoing through the room.

  She sat, sucking in a breath, but couldn’t get enough air. Lifting her shoulders, she tried again.

  Calm down. You’re okay. You’re okay. They’ll find you. You’re okay. But her rational side couldn’t counter her panicked brain. I
t screamed at her: alone! Forgotten!

  Somewhere deep inside her came another voice. This one low and deep, and comforting. The thought of this voice wrapped her in a blanket of protection. It was as clear as if Apollo was standing right in front of her: fill up your belly with air.

  She put her hand on her stomach, and took a deep breath, trying to get enough air to push her stomach outward. The first few breaths did nothing to help her, and panic burned in her chest.

  Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to remember how it felt to have Apollo’s hand on her stomach. Imagining it was his hand, not hers, she took another breath.

  This time it worked. She took another, and another, and began to calm. Wiping away the wetness on her face, she took one more breath, leaned down to the gap again and called out, “Seok!”

  A door slammed closed, and a voice called out, “Hold on, Honora!”

  It wasn’t a voice she recognized, but for a moment, she thought it was Seok and Cai coming to get her. The disappointment was almost as acute as her relief knowing someone was coming. The doorknob rattled before the door flew inward, whacking her in the forehead so she fell back on her butt.

  “Why the hell aren’t there any lights?” the voice asked. The switch flipped off and on and off and on until the familiar buzz filled the room, and a dim light hummed into existence.

  She squinted, trying to make out the person who’d come through the door.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, squatting next to her.

  The door began to close behind him and she lurched forward, “Don’t let it… “ The door clicked. “Shut.”

  “Why not?”

  “It locks,” she replied. “I hope you have a phone.” She rubbed at the place on her forehead where she’d caught the edge of the door. There was a tiny egg, but it hadn’t broken the skin. She supposed she was lucky, considering the door was old and metal.

  Standing, the man rattled the knob. It didn’t turn. “Huh. I’m sorry—I got stuck in a conference call in Dan’s office. I didn’t realize you were locked in.”

  She pushed herself to stand, and he followed suit. “In the dark,” she amended.

  “In the dark,” he corrected.

  Pulling her sleeve over her hand, she wiped her face again. As the lights flickered and brightened, she could make out details she hadn’t noticed before. He was nothing like she expected a man from a military institute would look. Like Dr. Murray, he was outside of the mold of both professor and soldier. His hair was dark brown, and curled over his forehead and ears in need of a trim. He also wore a full beard, but with none of the fancy mustache waxing or trimming the hipsters used. His was a shaggy beard growing down his neck and up his cheeks. When he stood, he towered over Nora, as tall as Apollo or Cai. But unlike the guys, his height made her feel crowded, like he took up all the space in the room, and she stepped back.

  “My name is Jeremy Totten.” He looked around the room as he spoke. Spying the metal chair, he sat in it with a groan. “Sorry. You don’t mind, do you?”

  She walked toward the wall, making as if to lean against it, but she noticed the cobwebs and other questionable substances stuck to it and chose to cross her arms instead. It was an awkward position, standing in front of someone who was sitting

  “Do you mind handing me the bag over there?” He gestured to a satchel near the door.

  Uncrossing her arms, she picked it up. It was heavier than it looked, and she needed two hands to lift it.

  “Should I call you Dr. Totten?” she asked as he opened it and took out what looked like a laptop.

  “Yes, that’s fine,” he answered distractedly. He put the case on the table and unfolded the top before pulling out something like a blood pressure cuff attached to a wire. Clearly, not a laptop.

  The device looked oddly familiar. “Is that a lie detector?”

  “You’ve seen one of these before?” Dr. Totten glanced up at her with interest.

  “On TV.”

  “I prefer to call it a digital analysis of physiological changes which may indicate lying.” He chuckled. “We may use it. I just want it ready.” He looked around the room for an outlet and finding one, plugged in the machine. The screen flashed and he typed for moment before sitting back in the chair. It didn’t wobble for him the way it had for her.

  Holding up a finger, he leaned forward, opening the notebook he’d tossed next to the lie detector before sitting back again. “Okay. So.” He paused, waiting.

  She waited as well, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “Right. Relationships.”

  Nope.

  Nora gave him the benefit of the doubt. He could ask broad questions, he could even question her more in depth about the answers she’d given Dr. Murray, but she was not getting personal with this guy. His entire aura intruded on hers, like he was going to back her into a corner and force confessions from her.

  “After high school, how many long-term relationships have you been in?”

  “One.”

  “How do you self-identify? Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual?”

  “Heterosexual.”

  Okay. These questions were easy enough. She wasn’t opening the windows to her soul by answering. She rocked from side to side, waiting for Dr. Totten to continue.

  “Were your parents married?”

  “Yes.”

  “How long were they married?”

  She calculated. “Three years.”

  “Is your mother remarried?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Is your father remarried?”

  “I don’t know.”

  The man asked an endless amount of questions about her parent’s marriage. An hour passed, and then another, with her pacing, or rocking, or stretching her hands over her head. The questions were safe, and when she didn’t know the answer, Dr. Totten seemed satisfied with her answering, “I don’t know.” She began to think she misjudged him.

  Pressing her hands into her lower back, she arched backward and then side to side. She couldn’t keep standing much longer, and she needed to pee. There had to be a place on the wall that was less disgusting. She finally decided the door was a safe bet, and began in that direction.

  “Okay,” Dr. Totten called out, surprising her. He looked down at his watch. “Wow. We’ve been at this a long time. I’d offer to let you use the bathroom, but since we’re stuck here…” He trailed off.

  “What about Dr. Murray?” she interrupted. “Did you text him?”

  “Yeah,” he answered, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “He still hasn’t replied. He probably assumes we’re good.”

  It was creeping closer and closer to five o’clock. “I need to leave by five. He knows that, so he should be back soon.”

  “Why don’t you take a seat, and I’ll try this puppy out?” he stood, gesturing to the chair.

  Realizing he meant the polygraph, she hesitated. “I didn’t realize polygraph tests would be part of this study.”

  “They haven’t been.” He flashed a white-toothed smile at Nora. “That’s why I’m here. He’s thinking of adding them to the interview process.”

  “Won’t that affect the subject variables. Those who have been interviewed with the polygraph and those without?”

  Surprised, he answered, “It does. But we’re making adjustments.” He held up a band. “I need to start connecting you to the machine.”

  Dr. Totten pressed a number of sticky electrodes onto her skin, wrapped a band around her chest, and then fixed a blood pressure cuff on her arm. Spinning the machine to face him, he leaned his elbow onto the table, making it creak.

  “I’m going to ask you a number of questions. Please answer honestly.”

  Nodding, she decided to answer, “I’m not telling you,” if he asked something she didn’t like. Glancing at her wrist, she realized Seok’s watch had flipped upside down. With a twist, she flicked her wrist to see the face.


  “Keep your arms on the chair please, so you don’t displace the electrodes.”

  “What time is it?” she asked.

  Frowning, Dr. Totten checked his watch. “Five.”

  “Unhook me please, I need to go.”

  His phone chimed. “It’s just a few questions, Nora. And I’m sure that’s Dan. You’ll be done by the time he opens the door.”

  “Will you check, please. Make sure?”

  “I’m sure it’s him. Let’s move on.”

  “No.”

  He scowled at her. “What?”

  “No. I’m not answering any questions until you reassure me Dr. Murray is on his way. If not, I want you to call my friends, who are waiting for me on the first floor, and ask them to let us out.” She made a move to tear off the electrodes. “It’s my birthday and I’m done.” And I need to pee.

  “You’re in a polyamorous relationship.” He flung the question at her, and she sucked in a breath.

  “Do you believe this relationship will negatively impact your career?”

  She stared at him, shocked. His mouth continued to move as he spat out questions, her brain processing each one.

  “Do you believe this relationship will negatively impact your partners’ career?”

  “Do you believe your partners are happy in this relationship?”

  “Are you sexually active with each partner?”

  “Have you coerced your partners into this relationship?”

  The last question forced her into action. With shaking fingers, she removed the electrodes from her skin, and placed them on the table.

  “I’m not done. Tyler has given us a lot of fascinating background on your current relationship. You’re so interesting, Nora. A polyamorous relationship? One girl and five guys? Sister to a mass murderer? I have so many questions.”

  He stood, reaching for the electrodes as if to place them back on her, but she unwrapped the cuff on her arm.

  “I’m not answering any of those questions.”

  “You’re going to have to, Nora.”

  She shook her head and held out her hand. “May I please borrow your phone?”