Meant to Be

by Sienna Grant

  I let the lone tear roll slowly down my cheek as I plead to her softer side… if she even has one.

  “I know you don’t agree with me now, but in the long run you’ll see that this was the right decision.”

  “Why are you so hard-hearted?” My voice raises, "What if someone had said that to you, that you had to abort me? Would you have done it?”

  “These are completely different circumstances, Shelby.”

  “What if they’d have been the same?” I ask through gritted teeth.

  “I’m not going to answer that question, Shelby. I wouldn’t have been that stupid. Now, grab your bag, we need to get going.”

  “So now I'm stupid?" I fire back but I know I'm not going to get her to change her mind if I'm angry. I change my approach. "Mum please, I don’t want to do this.” I cry. “Don’t make me kill my baby…”

  “Oh for goodness sake Shelby, it’s not even a baby yet. You’re doing yourselves a favour. I’m helping you, you’ll thank me for this.”

  I doubt that very much, I mumble to myself. She pulls me along out of the door, I shrug out of her hold and storm off into the car.

  It’s a strained silence in the car on the way to the clinic with only the sounds of the engine and my sobs. I can’t stop even when she’s booked me in… I get my phone out and check myself in at the Redtree clinic on Facebook, so maybe if Jax does go on there, he’ll see it.

  I sit in one of the chairs away from my mother. Every now and then she looks over, but I can’t even face her.

  “Shelby Andrews.”

  A nurse stands at the doorway smiling as I stand to wipe away the tears from my face, trying to compose myself a little bit.

  Mum picks up my bag and escorts me to the room.

  “Shelby.” I turn at the sound of Jaxon’s frantic voice. “Don’t do this, please. I'm sorry!”

  The nurse takes me to the room and asks me to get on the bed. I do as I’m asked. I pull my leggings down and my jumper up. My whole body shakes with sobs as I wait for the nurse to do her job.

  “Shelby sweetheart, I need you to calm down, you’re going to make the baby distressed and yourself, we can’t do this if you’re in this state.

  “Then don't.”

  “Are you Mum?” The nurse asks.

  “I am, yes…”

  “Can I just have a minute with Shelby please, it might be easier for her to talk to me if we’re alone.”

  She looks at me, then the nurse. “I’ll just be outside. Remember what we talked about.”

  “If you could just wait in the waiting room, I’ll call you back in when we’re ready.

  Jaxon

  “Is she in there?” I shout at Shelby’s bitch of a mother as she walks out.

  “If you go anywhere near that room Jaxon, I will have you removed.” She stares me down.

  “Hopefully, Shelby will come to her senses and won’t go through with it,” I growl.

  “I doubt it. The nurse is talking some sense into her now.” Her mum smirks, my fists ball into a fist wanting to hit out at something.

  Seeing red I move towards her, but with a clinic full of people I don’t want to be on an assault charge.

  “You disgust me.” I spin away from her and head outside. I light up a cigarette hoping it will calm my nerves a little, I swear my intake has risen to two packs a day.

  Instead of waiting around I head home and grab a bottle. The only thing I want to do right now is get shitfaced drunk, anything so I can’t feel. If I don’t feel anything, I don’t have to worry about the stake that's been driven through my heart, leaving me to bleed out…

  As I sit in the living room on my own with just a bottle of vodka and some smokes to keep me company; I look around, and for the first time ever, I feel alone. I realise just how little I’ve got. Shelby was the only good thing in my life... this baby really could have turned my life around. Shelby would have turned my life around.

  I have no family but Harry. My Aunty hates me, my mother is a shell just waiting to die - oh, and she hates me too - what do I really have? No-one will miss me.

  Grabbing my bottle and putting my ciggie between my lips, I grab mum’s car keys and head out. Getting in the driver’s seat, I swap my fag for the bottle, putting it to my lips and drain the rest of the bottle. I can’t feel anymore burning, it’s numb already. Dropping the empty bottle on the floor in the passenger side, I struggle to find where to put the key, my eyes are blurry, and I’m struggling to focus. I find it eventually and turn the key, the engine starting promptly. Shifting the car into gear I pull away, my head lulls, but I manage to lift it and pull the car straight.

  There’s only one place I’m going, and that’s to my girlfriends if I can remember the way.

  I need Shelby.

  She’s my saving grace.

  To hell with everyone else.

  The steering wheel slips from my palm, the sound of blaring horns jolts me, making me swerve. Wiping the window with my hand, I try to clear the windscreen - it’s blurry. I find the lever for the window wipers, but it’s no use. I can’t see….

  Shelby is the only thing on my mind. I need to get to her…

  The crash and squealing of tyres is the last thing I remember…

  Chapter Thirteen

  Shelby

  I don’t know how much more heartbreak I can take.

  Harry was with the police when they came to my house to tell me what had happened. They said he kept calling my name. They also made a point of saying that as soon as he was better, he’d be going straight into a police cell. I knew he was a little out there after all this business, but I didn’t think he was this bad… I should have done more.

  “Hey, you okay?” Harry asks from the side of me, his arm wrapped around my shoulders brings me comfort - although not enough. Harry isn’t Jax.

  Remembering Harry’s question, I nod.

  “I should’ve done something. I should have stood up to my mother more.” Turning my head to him, “What have I done Harry?”

  “There’s nothing you could have done Shelb. Jax is his own worst enemy, he always has been. The way he wrapped that car around that tree, he’s lucky to be alive.”

  “Was anyone hurt?”

  “There were a few stationary cars that got a bit messed up and the owners want to prosecute, but no-one was actually hurt.”

  “This is all my fault, Harry.”

  I’ve been told he’s unconscious for the time being so we’re waiting for the doctor.

  “Do you want to see him?”

  “Maybe if he’s still asleep. I can’t see him otherwise. I can’t handle seeing him awake for one minute and not being able to see him again after.” I realise how bad that sounds after the words have left my mouth. “Does that sound selfish?”

  “Not at all.”

  The door swings open, “Miss? Jaxon is stable. He has a break to his left wrist and his right ankle, so he’s going to be a little banged up for a bit. He’s in a medical collar for now until he wakes and then we can see if there’s any damage to his spinal cord, but we can’t see any right now.”

  “Would he have felt anything?”

  “I doubt it. Mr Cartwright was so intoxicated his whole body would have been numb, he was probably unconscious before he hit the tree.”

  “Well, that’s something I suppose.”

  “He’ll feel it when he wakes up though.”

  Standing from the chair, I look through the window of the door, the policeman sits guard in the corner of the room while Jax lies unconscious. My breath hitches, a wave of sadness hitting me knowing I’m not going to see him after this.

  “Can I go in just for a minute?” I ask the doctor.

  “Of course.” Pushing on the door, he holds it open for me and calls to the officer.

  “Can you give them a minute?” The doctor asks the officer, but he doesn’t look convinced.

  “Please, just a minut
e and then I’m going.”

  He nods grudgingly at me. “I’ll be right here.”

  Giving him a glimmer of a smile, I go in. When I reach the bed, I take his hand and hold it in mine, lifting it to my cheek and closing my eyes remembering how good it felt against my cheek. I sniff back my tears and kiss his head, minding the cuts on his face from the shattered windscreen. His lips are cut up too, so I gently place mine against his hurt ones then kiss his knuckles again.

  “Oh God Jax, what have you done?” I sniff back the tears that are welling up. “God I’m so sorry.” I wipe away the teardrop that has leaked from my eye. “I love you, Jax. I always will. I wish you were awake so we could sort this out.”

  He doesn’t stir, it’ll be like I’ve never been here. Gently putting his arm back on the mattress, I step away. I gently place my lips to his leaving him with a loving kiss, then walk out straight into Harry’s arms. He holds me while I cry, the doctor clenches my shoulder in comfort and walks away.

  “Do you want to go home or do you want to wait?” Harry asks sweetly.

  In my mind, I really want to stay, but I couldn’t stand it if he told me to leave.

  “Take me home.”

  Harry nods. “Let’s go, and I’ll come back after I’ve dropped you off.”

  “Will you let me know how he is?”

  “Of course I will.” Harry wraps an arm around my shoulders keeping me tucked into his side, comforting me.

  “Thanks, Harry.”

  A sad smile pulls at his lips. Leaning my head against his shoulder, we take the lift down to the exit.

  Once I’m home, I let myself in, go upstairs and crawl into my bed. This day has officially sucked.

  I grab the teddy from my bed, it’s the last present my dad bought me. It’s weird how you’re drawn to one specific item. Holding him against my chest, I bury my face into the softness of his fur and sob.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jaxon

  “Mr Cartwright, are you back with us?”

  The lights are too bright. Squinting, my eyes begin to focus.

  “Where am I?”

  “You’re in the hospital, Jaxon.” There are two nurses, a doctor and Harry.

  “Why am I here?”

  “You were in a car accident mate.”

  “Where’s Shelby?” I force out. I try to look between the bodies in front of me, but I can’t see her.

  “She’s been here, but she had to go home.”

  “I bet she did. Why can’t I move my head?” My eyes going in the direction of the copper sitting in the corner of the room.

  “You’re in a collar, we need to make sure there’s no injury to your spine.” the doctor answers.

  “Do you remember anything, Jax?” Harry asks, frowning.

  “I remember being at the clinic, that’s it.”

  “I think you drank your bodyweight in Vodka then wrapped your mum’s car around a tree, taking parked cars with you. You’re being charged as soon as you’re ready for discharge.” Harry informs me with a disappointed shake of his head.

  “Shit.”

  “Physically, you’re ready for discharge, but medically, I’d like to keep you here a while longer.” The doctor tells me.

  “From one prison to another huh…?”

  “Jax, you have no-one to blame but yourself. No-one made you drink the way you have been.”

  “Whatever.” I have a sip of the water from beside me helping rid the dryness from my mouth. I look at the faces that are all staring at me while the nurse takes the glass from me, “Am I some kind of sideshow?” I snap.

  The doctor nods at the nurses, they leave the room leaving just him and Harry.

  “Are you in any pain at all Mr Cartwright?”

  “A little bit.”

  “Okay I’ll get the nurse to bring some pain relief, and as long as you’re okay today, I’ll discharge you in the morning. I’ll keep the police out as long as I can.”

  “Thanks.”

  I look down the length of my body and see my leg in a cast, and I have one on my arm too.

  What the fuck did I do?

  “I need to get going. Mum will murder me if I don’t go to school.” Harry says.

  “Yeah, okay bud. Thanks for being here.”

  “Anytime.” Shaking my good hand, he leaves the room.

  “Harry?” I stop him before he reaches the door, “Can you ask Shelby to come please, if she can?”

  “I’ll ask her” With a small pitiful smile he walks back through the door and an officer walks in, taking a seat in the corner.

  After more tests and being poked and prodded with needles, I’m ready to be discharged. My head is a mess. Thoughts of Shelby and what she had to do to our baby swamp me. I want to text her, ring her, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Harry came back for a bit after school, but that was it. I thought she may have come up to see me now that I was awake. We could have talked about what happened, but then again, I did walk out on her - leaving her to deal with her mother even though I said I’d be there. I can’t blame her - I thought we had more than this. Harry doesn’t mention her if he can help it. I know I’m not going to see him again before I get sent down.

  What the fuck was I thinking?

  There’s a reason I don’t drink a lot, I obviously have an addictive personality like my parents. I’m surprised my Aunty hasn’t been here to gloat, telling me how much I’m like them.

  Instead of torturing myself anymore, I try to get some sleep. I know first thing in the morning I’ll be up and out of here to my new home, I imagine.

  Shelby

  I can’t stop crying.

  I want to go to him, but she won’t let me.

  All I see is his tortured face in the clinic, begging me not to go through with it. The nurse was so good with me. She knew I couldn’t do it. While mum was out of the room we talked, she calmed me down and told me to go back when I was in more of a sound mind.

  Harry texted me to tell me Jax was okay and all I wanted to do was go to him, but he probably hates me anyway.

  He’s going to prison, I know that with the charges he has I’m not sure how long he’ll be there for.

  Pulling out my phone, I pull up my dad’s address again. I can’t stay here. I don’t want to even look at her, let alone be in the same house.

  Rolling from the bed, I wipe my face and pull out a bag, shoving some clothes inside. I put my things I want the most with them. My laptop, iPod, chargers, a notebook and all my revision stuff, then make a call to Harry.

  “Hey, you okay?” He questions.

  “Yeah. I’m leaving.” I reply shortly

  “What?”

  “I have to leave, Harry, I can’t stay here with her. I hate her. I’m going to my dad’s.”

  “Does he know?”

  “Nope, I’m getting a taxi. I have a bit of money, and then I’ll take it from there.”

  “What about school?”

  “I’ll figure it out, don’t worry about me.”

  He laughs, but not in humour, “How can I not worry about you, Shelby. You’re my friend - it’s what friends do.”

  “Harry…” I groan, “I’ll be fine - I promise.”

  He doesn’t answer straight away, but I do hear his sigh at the other end.

  “I’m going to the police station in the morning to see what’s happening with Jax,” he pauses, “He asked about you, you know?”

  My heart sinks when I hear Jax’s name. Knowing that he wondered where I was breaks my heart even further.

  “Can you let me know?” My voice is small as I ask. I know I’ll never get over Jax properly.

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll message you when I get to my dad’s.”

  “Be safe. If you need me for anything, let me know.”

  “Okay, and thanks, Harry. Oh, can you let Addy know please?”

  “Yep, no probs.”

&n
bsp; I cut the call and ring a taxi then wait.

  As soon as I get the text from Uber to tell me my taxi is on its way and what car to expect, I sneak down the stairs and open the front door softly, closing it just as gently. I know she’s asleep because she has ears of a hawk and hears everything.

  I don’t hang about when the car pulls up at the kerb, I get in and tell the driver where to go. Once he pulls away, I hang my head back, feeling like I can breathe again.

  I look up at the nice detached house as I step out.

  “Can you hold on five minutes please, I just want to make sure he’s here.”

  “No problem.”

  I get out and walk up the drive. Dropping my bag on the ground, I knock on the brown PVC door and wait, sucking in a breath and blowing it out slowly. I feel sick, my stomach is churning like a washing machine. It seems so long since I’ve seen him.

  A woman with blonde hair opens the door, a questioning look in her eyes until she realises who I am.

  “Hi. I’m here to see my dad?”

  “Shelby?” I nod nervously. “Hang on a second…”

  “Jack?” She turns away from me, calling him to the door. I have to breathe deep to stop from being sick, my hand covers my mouth hoping it doesn’t come up.

  I look behind the woman and see him. His eyes go huge when he sees me.

  “Shelby?”

  Quickening his pace towards the door, he pulls me into him when he reaches me, holding me tightly.

  “Oh Jesus Shelby, what are you doing here?”

  “Could I stay with you for a while please?”

  He tips my head back as he frames my face with his hands, wiping my eyes of the tears I didn't know I’d shed.

  “Is that your taxi?” I nod. “Go inside I’ll pay it.” His lips linger on my brow for a long time before pulling away and going outside. His wife, my step mum, wraps an arm around my shoulder comforting me and leads me to the couch. Dad follows in a minute after and gets down to his knees, kneeling in front of me.

  “Oh my god, Shelby? I can’t believe you’re here?”