Meant to Be

by Sienna Grant

  Running down the stairs I’m greeted by dad and Anna, I grab my jacket and leave for the hospital.

  “Are you forgetting something?

  Anna holds up a folder in her hand.

  “Oh, my notes.” I take them from her and run out of the door.

  When we reach the entrance of the hospital, I see Addison, running up to me, she tightly hugs me.

  “Thank you for coming today.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Chica.”

  Arm in arm, we head for the maternity wing and book in, waiting patiently for the sonographer.

  Twenty minutes later I’m called in. The lady asks me to pull my waistband down and squeezes some cold jelly on my tummy. It’s so cold it takes my breath away, I gasp making her smile.

  “Right then, let’s see what’s going on in here…”

  She runs the scanner over my belly, and before I know it, a little person is on the screen - well kind of. I can see a head and two legs and two arms. My eyes start to fill up with tears, I hold them back. She turns the screen to her and tells me she's going to do some measurements. I let her work, but the baby is going crazy moving around, she’s obviously disturbed him or her.

  “Do you want to know the sex?” Turning the screen back to me, I look to Dad, his smile says it all. Matching his excitement, I nod enthusiastically.

  She runs the scanner further down, but she can’t get a proper angle. She places it down, placing a hand on each side of my belly, she rocks it gently from side to side and looks back at the screen. She puts the scanner on my tummy and runs it over again.

  “You’re having a little boy, Shelby.”

  My hand instantly covers my frantically beating heart, I’ll have another little Jax running around.

  The sonographer prints me a picture of him and then says, “The placenta is lying a little low, but in most cases, it moves around in time for the birth, but make an appointment for another scan. It’ll just be a review one for around thirty-six weeks, and we’ll know more then.”

  Thanking her for everything, I make the next appointment after emptying my bladder and we leave.

  We see Addison’s mum's car as she waits for her on the car park for her. Turning to Addy, I throw my arms around her neck hugging her. "Whoa, what's this for?" Addy questions hugging me back just as tightly.

  "Thank you…for today."

  "I wouldn't miss it for the world and plus I'm the nearest to an aunty that baby is going to get, so I get all the privileges."

  "Yeah, I guess you are."

  "I have to go, mum's waiting." She gives me another hug quickly, and with a wave, she heads over to her mum. Once I see her drive away, we head home.

  When I go up to my room, the emotion of the day gets too much, and I bury my head in my pillow and cry. Knowing I’m having a boy makes me cry even more. I do what Anna taught me the last time, though, and just cry it all out.

  “Shelby, can I come in?”

  “Yeah…” Watching the door as it opens, Dad walks in, and he sits on the floor with me; wrapping me up in cuddles, he lets me cry. “I love you Dad.”

  “I love you too pumpkin.” He picks up the scan picture and smiles. “Who would have thought I’d be a granddad at forty, huh?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You’ve nothing to be sorry for.” He kisses my forehead sweetly, making me break a bit more.

  The time is flying by, and I can’t keep up. The only thing to focus on now is my exams and getting through those.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jaxon

  Three Months Later

  I step over the steel of the prison gate. It bangs shut behind me making me jump, there’s a taxi waiting for me to take me to my new place. I'm on my own again, back in the big wide world. I look back over my shoulder realising I’m free and smile.

  I don’t waste any time in walking towards the taxi and making sure he’s got my name right.

  “Cartwright mate?”

  “Yep, jump in pal.” I put my carrier bag with my few belongings in on the back seat and give him the address to the parole office. Once he’s put the address in his Sat Nav, we head off. Opening up the back window and feeling the breeze on my face, I start to enjoy the little luxuries that I haven’t had for the last seven months.

  Once I’ve met with my parole officer, he gives me some keys to a hostel. Well, it's like a halfway house for ex-cons... yep, I now have a label to put with all the rest of my shit.

  My rehabilitation, while I was in prison, was to be clean, which was part of the reason that I got out a little earlier than I should have done. They decided that with my addictive personality I shouldn’t drink at all - which I agree with entirely. I also learnt an engineering skill, which I didn’t have before and the parole officer is going to sort out a job for me. It’s unpaid until my parole is through, which is the rest of my full sentence. I can handle that, the only thing I don’t like is this poxy electronic tag hanging from my ankle like a huge piece of ugly jewellery.

  About a month ago I found out my mum died from cirrhosis of the liver - caused by drinking for all these years. They allowed me to go to the funeral, but I chose not to. Call me a bad person all you want, all she did over the years was abuse me. Not once did she make sure I was okay. I’ve decided to also cut myself off from all my family - other than Harry. The rest can rot in hell.

  “So Jaxon, are you ready to see your new home?” The officer pulls me from out of my head.

  “I can hardly wait,” I answer dryly.

  Sniggering, the parole officer opens the car. Once we’re in, he takes us to the address of the halfway house.

  Standing in the doorway, my eyes flit around the room. My lip curling up in disgust. I don't know what was worse, staying at home with my drunk of a mother or this. The room is practically bare for all but a bed, a set of drawers, a small fridge and a microwave. The sheets don't look like they've been washed either.

  Ugh, I think I preferred prison to this shithole.

  “Will you be okay here?”

  “I might catch something. It’s a shithole.” I realise I’ve just voiced my thoughts out loud.

  “It’s this or prison buddy.”

  “Yeah, yeah… it’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, here’s your keys. There’s a whole sheet of rules and regulations, don’t break them. Don’t upset the landlady either, she’s a little feisty. She takes no messing.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Don’t forget you report to me once a week on a Monday morning at nine am. Any rules you breach you’ll be back inside; no pass go and no collecting two hundred pounds either… sorry, little joke.”

  Sarcastically, I grin. I take the keys from him and the sheet of rules and see him out.

  Looking back at the bed as I shut the door, I decide I can’t sleep in those sheets. At least in prison, everything we wore or slept in was clean… I need to go shopping. Grabbing the keys again, I lock the door behind me and walk back down the stairs.

  Opening the front door, the sunshine blinds me. Pulling my sunglasses from my pocket, I place them on my nose and begin the walk to the centre to get essentials. Stepping into the local Asda, I grab a basket and start filling it with food I can eat that doesn't need cooking. Bread, beans, butter, that kind of stuff.

  Turning into the next aisle, I get sheets and a new duvet and also new pillows. Lifting my head, I see the back of a familiar head of hair.

  “Harry?” He turns around sharply, “Jax? When did you get out?” He asks walking back towards me.

  “Earlier today.”

  “How are you doing? Jesus man, you’ve beefed up.”

  “I'm good. Better.”

  “Sorry about your mum.”

  “Shit happens.” I shrug it off, I don’t need pity or sympathy where she’s concerned, she was already drinking herself into an early grave.

  “You weren't at the funeral…”
r />   “I refused to go. How’s Shelby?”

  A familiar face walks up behind Harry, but not exactly friendly.

  “Addison. How are you?”

  “I’m okay thanks.” She nods with a tight smile, so I do the same, I don’t want to push my luck, she doesn’t seem too happy to see me. She clasps my cousin's hand, and I turn back to my trolley.

  “Harry, look at this, it's so cute.” Her voice reaches me, making my head snap up. I see her, but I can't speak. My eyes are fixated on the bump she's bearing, a huge and noticeable bump, what the fuck? Her eyes also widen when she realises it's me.

  “Shelby?”

  “Oh my God. Jaxon.”

  “Is... is it mine?”

  The shocked look soon turns into an angry one.

  “How dare you. I don't see you for over seven months, and that's what you have to say to me? Well, screw you Jaxon.” Fuck, she's still sexy as hell.

  “Guys you're in the supermarket, don't do this here,” Harry speaks up trying to calm the situation.

  “I need some air, I'll be outside.” Shelby dumps her purchases in the trolley and marches away. Addison walks the same way joining her friend, shaking her head in disgust at me.

  “What?” Holding my hands out in front of me in question.

  “You have no idea, do you?” Harry says. "That girl has gone to hell and back because of you and what do you do? You question her.”

  “How did I know H, as far as I knew she had an abortion.”

  “Obviously fucking not... why do you think we were so desperate to come to see you? You didn't give her a chance to explain Jax. She wanted to come and see you, but every time I rang, I got ‘he’s been moved to another prison.’ Why didn’t you tell me where you were?”

  “I needed a clear head, I had to separate everything.”

  Turning towards the entrance doors, he turns his back to me.

  “Harry. There was no way I was letting her walk into that place.”

  He walks away from me refusing to answer me or even look back.

  “Harry?”

  Shit.

  Hitting the handle of the trolley I leave it where it is and head back outside in the hope I can see Shelby.

  Shelby

  I find a bench outside of the supermarket and sit down with Addison, taking the heavy weight off my legs, her arm goes around me in comfort. The shock of seeing him like that just messed me up. I’ve wondered how our first meeting would go - would I fling my arms around his neck in happiness or would it be awkward... there’s my answer.

  “He acted as if he didn’t know about the baby, how could he do that? I told him!”

  “I’m sorry hun.”

  Harry walks up to us, closely followed by Jax. My eyes travel down his body until our eyes meet. I look away, first, though it hurts too much to look at him.

  “Shelby? Do you have a minute?” Jax asks, but Addison doesn’t move, she looks at me waiting for direction. I know if I said no, she'll fight tooth and nail. I nod. She gets up and goes to Harry.

  “We’ll get that shopping Shelb?” Addison calls over.

  “Okay, thanks.”

  “Shelby? Can I sit down?” He asks in a cautious tone as he saunters towards me and If I’m not mistaken, he seems a little nervous.

  “It’s a public bench.” I shrug, “Knock yourself out.”

  He looks at me then at my bump, “Shelb, I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t know.”

  I snigger, “How could you not know? I wrote you a letter.”

  “If you did then I didn’t receive it. I swear to you. If I’d got it don’t you think I’d have replied?”

  “Who knows? Maybe you just wanted to forget about me.”

  He seems to think hard about his answer, I can see his mind ticking over.

  “I did... while I was in there. I just focused on getting out.”

  Looking around, people are milling in and out of the supermarket with trolleys, going about their day as usual and my world had just spun off its axis.

  “I can’t do this here Jax.” I stand from my seat and go to step away, but Jax catches my hand.

  “Please Shelb? I need to sort this out.”

  “Fine, let me know where you’re staying, and I’ll come to you.”

  He nods, fidgeting around in his pocket, pulling out a scrap bit of paper and handing it over to me.

  “You sure we can’t meet somewhere else?”

  “Nope, these are my terms, Jax.”

  Looking up into his sad eyes was probably the worst mistake I could have made. Just being here with him now makes me feel weak. I put the piece of paper in my back pocket for safe keeping.

  “Thanks.”

  “You look beautiful by the way.”

  “I... I have to go, they’ll be waiting for me.” I don’t need compliments right now, I’m not sure what I really need. I walk away, but I stop, turning back around.

  “Sorry about your mum.”

  He doesn’t answer me, just looks to the floor. I’m having to stop myself from running back to him and hugging him. I need to be an adult here. I see Addison and Harry by the doors waiting for me. I try to be normal as I reach them, but Addison knows me, she puts her arm around me.

  “What did he say?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to go home.”

  “Alright,” she hands me my carrier from Asda, they got the items I left in the trolley, and we part ways. I go one way, and they go another. My dad's house is only ten minutes from here. It’s weird how my dad lives so close to me, but I never realised.

  When I get into the house, I go straight to my room; exhausted and flop down on the bed. My eyes shut as soon as my body feels the softness of my bed.

  I’ll deal with the events of today as soon as I’ve had a little nap.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jaxon

  My trolley had disappeared when I got back inside the supermarket, so I grab another starting at the beginning, all over again. Grabbing myself new bed sheets, a duvet and pillows then food essentials. Once I’ve got everything, I end up with four bags of shopping. Walking back to the hostel, I dump the shopping on the counter and strip off those dirty, manky sheets. They’re almost brown.

  I remake the bed then put away my food.

  Lying back on my clean bed, I clasp my hands behind my head and look up at the ceiling. All I can think about is Shelby. How good she looked, how happy and healthy she looked too. God, I’ve missed her. Seeing that bump was the biggest shock of my life. I need to speak to her, I just want to explain to her, I need to make things right with us.

  I don’t know, though, if she’ll ever give me another chance.

  The first time waking up in a different bed will never get any better, especially when it’s only temporary accommodation. It takes me a minute or so to remember where I am before the recollection kicks in.

  I want to settle down somewhere, but God knows when that will ever be. I have a few days grace before going to my parole officer so I can relax over the weekend. He’s sorting me a job too, it’ll be good to do something. Since being in prison and having a daily routine, I know I’m going to get bored quickly.

  Pouring myself some cereal and making a cup of tea, I sit down to eat before realising I have no clothes. Great. Most of my allowance money I left prison with has gone on stuff for this place.

  Looking inside the carrier bag I left prison with, I see some papers and my phone, which is obviously dead with no charger, along with some loose change and my wallet. There’s forty pounds in there too.

  Happy days. This day is going to get better, I can just tell.

  Finishing my breakfast, I have a quick wash then head back to Asda to buy a charger lead and some basics. Underwear is a must and a couple of changes of clothes until I can get a job and buy some new stuff.

  On my way back to the building, a girl with long dark hair is pressing the buz
zer. Seeing her bump, I smile, I know who that is right away.

  “Shelby?” Her head twists in my direction, I smile, but she doesn’t. “Hang on, I have a key.”

  Standing behind her I reach an arm around her to put my key in the door. It opens, and I let her step in first. She hangs back, and I take the lead up the stairs.

  “Please excuse the room, this wouldn’t be my choice…”

  “Still so modest, Jax.”

  A grin lifts at the corner of my mouth before I turn the key I ask, “Are you sure you don’t want to talk somewhere else?”

  “I just need this over with.”

  My heart sinks, she wants to get this over with so she can carry on with her life.

  “Excuse a sec,” opening the door I step inside and wait for her to step in.

  My eyes track from the top of her head down to her feet, my gaze lingering on her bump longer than necessary as she stands on my doorstep until she steps inside the room.

  “You look good,” I tell her trying to break the ice between us.

  “Thanks.”

  I step forward lifting my hand, but she moves out of the way of it, her gaze shifting to the floor instead. I shut the door and walk back around her.

  “So, do you want to sit down?”

  There’s nowhere but the bed to sit on if I’m honest I was trying to be a gentleman.

  “If I get down there - I’m not getting back up…”

  A ghost of a smile pulls at the corners of her mouth. The bed is quite low to the floor. The other seat is a chair that sits in the edge of the room, I grab that instead, patting it.

  “Here you go.” I take my place on the edge of the bed and wait.

  “Thanks.”

  “Sorry, it’s not more comfortable…”

  “Jax…” Her voice goes a pitch higher, “It’s fine, honestly.” I nod.

  Why the hell am I so nervous?