Winter Shadows

by Richard Amos

  “Now what?” I said. “You can stick your bloody tricks up your arse.”

  Michael manifested like he had before. I knew this was a trick, but it didn’t stop the agony rising up from the pit of my soul.

  “Look at you,” Michael said. “You’ve made yourself strong.”

  Wait … what?

  “I’m so proud of you.”

  “Get out of my way.”

  He moved to block me.

  “I said—”

  “I’ve been watching you.”

  “Y-you’re … not him. Fuck off. Go on! Play your tricks on someone else.”

  “You mean that horrible shadow?” God he was so beautiful. “I managed to get you away from it, away from all that pain.”

  “Don’t lie to me. You can’t trick me. This is shadow crap.”

  “Is that what you think, Jake?”

  “Yeah, just like before. Get out of my way.”

  “Where are you going?”

  I took him in. Just like the last time, this apparition of Michael was so well put together—even down to the aftershave he loved. Bloody hell, it hurt to look at him. He was in the clothes he wore when he died—blue parker jacket, black jeans and a red turtle-neck jumper. His half of the yin-yang pendant sat against the red wool.

  My own half felt hot against my chest.

  “Why are you doing this to me?”

  “Because I love you.”

  I laughed at that. “Put me back where I was so I can kill you.”

  “I’m already dead, baby.”

  That ending word, what he used to call me, stabbed into my heart. Damn my eyes and their tendency to leak. “Put me back.”

  “I’m here, it’s me. That shadow thing has your body, but I have your soul. I’ll always have your soul, baby. We belong together.”

  I wiped my eyes. “What about Alan?”

  “What about him?”

  “What about all the things you said to me?”

  “I didn’t mean them.” He smiled that radiant smile of his, his sapphire eyes sparkling like sun dancing across the surface of the sea.

  “I was there, remember? I know you meant them. You were leaving me for the other man you fucked.”

  The smile died, replaced with heavy sorrow. “I’m so sorry. But you … you were so lost, so broken.”

  “And leaving me would put me back together?” Man, the tears were really going for it. “I don’t need to hear it, Michael. I want to go back and do my job.”

  He stepped forward. “You’ll fail, baby. And that’s not the shadow talking. It’s not here. This is me, the place I wait.”

  “The what?”

  “I’m waiting for you to come to me, baby. I’ll always wait for you.”

  That wasn’t right. He’d made himself clear just before his death. “Why would you wait for me?”

  He sighed. “You know the way you hurt for me, how you miss me? I feel the same. I truly do, baby. You’re the one. You always have been. I know we’ve had some real shit times, but death gives you major clarity. Really unfair, actually, but it’s true about the grass not always being greener on the other side. It isn’t. Alan was … a release from some hard times. He was nothing more than that. I know now. And I know I broke your heart. I gave up on you, and I shouldn’t have. I’m here to make it right.”

  I wanted to faint, to not feel this ache in my heart. “You’re lying.”

  “No, baby. I’m so sorry.”

  “Put me back.”

  “You’re dying, baby. When I said I took you away from the pain, I meant it. The shadow is killing you, torturing you to death. Your friends can’t save you. But I can … from the pain.”

  “I’m … dying?”

  “I’m sorry, baby.”

  “I can’t be.”

  “I don’t know much about those beasts you fight, but I know those twin shadows are nasty pieces of work. Believe me, I wish you were back there to take them down. I’ve been championing you from this place, willing you to fight on. You’ve made me so proud. You really did try your best.”

  “You’re telling me you’re the ghost of Michael?”

  “Yes, baby.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  He stepped forward. “I can understand that.”

  I hated the way his eyes were full of sorrow, the sad smile on his face. So much sympathy laced with longing. What the hell was this? An enraged devil harpist plucked at my heartstrings, sending shockwaves of rage through me. It was the kind of rage that made me sick and desperate to hold back. But it came spilling out.

  I rushed him and grabbed him by the scruff of his jumper. “Get the fuck away from me. Put your real face on before I make you a new one.”

  Michael’s wide eyes bore into mine. “I knew this would happen.”

  I pulled him closer. “You know nothing!”

  He kissed me, and it was like I was back in happier times. His lips were so soft, so warm. Not cold or dead, but the lips of my beloved Michael. I remembered the feel of every cell of his lips as they brushed against mine.

  Where was the burning of the beast that he was? Surely my power would have an effect on him as he was made from the magic of the shadows. Right? He should be howling and backing the hell off, his true self exposed for me to see, and then I could find a way to kill the thing hiding behind the mask of my dead husband.

  Right?

  He broke his kiss and smiled. “You see?”

  “Enough of this,” I whispered.

  “Jake, it’s me.”

  I let go of him. “Show yourself.” Hot and quick, the tears rolled down my face.

  “I’m not here to hurt you, baby. I wanna make things right so we can put all of it behind us for our new life.”

  I shoved him away. “Bollocks! Show your face.”

  “Jake …”

  “No! You’re not him!”

  “Remember that time when—”

  “Don’t even bother trying that walk down memory lane crap. I know what you’re trying to do.” Why wouldn’t the tears stop flowing?

  “I love you, Jake. Come on, you have to let it all go.”

  Let it all go. I couldn’t deny that sounded good. Hell, him telling me he loved me was the best sound to come to my ears in a long time. I could picture it—a happy afterlife, just me and him full of the joy and love our relationship had been swelling with back in the day. It would be amazing. No more pain, no more violence, and no more angry world waiting to swallow me up, push me over the edge I constantly balanced on where my addiction waited in the void below.

  Michael reached for me. “Take my hand, baby.”

  Me and my husband together again. All forgiven, love waiting for me …

  I took a step back. “I have a job to do.”

  Michael cocked his head. “You’re no fool, are you?”

  “I know my husband, wanker. Don’t come for me with that shit.”

  Michael smiled. “So much stronger than you should be. Still, I enjoyed the tears—tells me I have struck something within you.”

  “Too easy to strike.”

  Michael laughed and the world twisted into something new.

  I was on the roof of Tower 1, the cold air biting my face. The dark city stretched out before me, the groans of the sort-of zombies incredible. My hands were glowing with my power, and the shadow hovered above.

  “How’d you pull off the kissing bit without being dead?”

  Those scarlet eyes flashed. “We have many skills, Jake.”

  “Whatever.”

  “There is a reason we were locked away.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  The roof was cleared of snow. On the opposite side to where I stood was a doorway. Obviously, I wasn’t going out that way with the shadow hovering over me.

  Time to think of a way out of this one.

  “This is the end,” the shadow said. “Lilisian is rising, and she will smash the lies that hide this city. Her army awaits freedom.”
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  “Those zombies her army too? Kind of weird.”

  “They will be magnificent tools, just as we have been to her. It has been our pleasure to sacrifice for her. It is a pleasure you will never understand, Jake. You were given the chance to sacrifice, to die and let the inevitable come to be. But here you still stand, outstaying your welcome.”

  Sacrifice? Interesting … “But you can’t die,” I said. “Well, you can.” I winked at it. “What is it you’ve sacrificed?”

  It was silent for almost a minute, staring at me. Ha! It’d realized it’d said too much. “It is time for you to die now.”

  The shadow whipped itself at me before I even had time to blink. I was cast over the side of the tower, hurtling to my death.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  There was no way my healing power would help me now. Fuck! The sea of zombies were coming up to meet me. I’d take out some of them as I died, then they’d chew down on what was left of me.

  The cool sensation of my shield ran through my veins. What the hell?

  Before I was scrambled eggs, it burst forth. It scattered the sort-of zombies reaching for me. No squashing them, just a force of power to push them out of the way. My bones rattled at the impact as my body slowed down and was held safely in place in the inky bubble.

  More zombies that staggered over were pushed away, flung into the air and into the snow beyond the cleared circle around the base of the towers.

  After the shield hadn’t come up to stop me from getting shot, I’d put it down to being an aspect of my power that could only protect me from beastly activity. Yet, seeing as my sparks didn’t like switched on televisions, I guess there was room for more quirks.

  “Thank you!” I said to it. “I really wasn’t looking forward to meeting the concrete like that.”

  There was no answer, not even a response in the goddess’ creepy voice. And I didn’t give a shit. I was alive and ready to go back up there and kick the swirly backside of that shadow.

  “How the hell am I gonna get back in?” I said aloud.

  The cocoon of protection still held me, showing no signs of letting me go, sort-of zombies pinging off me. I couldn’t see anything other than what was in front of me, to my left and right, and the ground beneath my face. The tower was behind me and twisting myself round was impossible right now. But what I knew was that the sort-of zombies had flooded the main hall of the Tower 1 and there was no way I was going back in that way. And this circle would soon fill up once my shield went down again.

  “Think!”

  “Jake!”

  I looked to my right to see Nay waving at me through the prism of dark blue, standing on one of the sleighs. Thank God she was okay after her spell. Rose was waving too, Randy as still as a tiny green boulder.

  Okay, time to pause and take stock of the situation and come up with a resolution.

  The bubble, I hoped, wasn’t going anywhere for the time being. It was good to know my power had a degree of self-preservation when I ended up in perilous situations. But now what? I couldn’t move properly.

  Newbie kinks that needed ironing out?

  No … The goddess said in my head.

  “No, what? The kink stuff?”

  Yes …

  “I’m gonna need more than that, luv.”

  Water is thick to flesh …

  “What are you talking about?”

  Water is thick to flesh … Yet one can still walk at the bottom of a pool if one is weighed down.

  The shield power did have a watery feel to it—the coolness, the sensation of it around me.

  Yes …

  “Please don’t be cryptic!”

  Water to shield, earth to heal, air to show the ribbons of fear, and white fire in your hands, woven together with you, the spirit, the essence of the power I have given to you.

  I flashed back to the ceremony when me and my guardians were bonded in a wiccan ritual all to do with the elements. Five elements—earth, air, fire, water and spirit. So, that was the basis of my power, then?

  Yes …

  “That wasn’t a question!”

  No…

  “Stop doing that! Intrusive much? Are you gonna help me get out of this one, or am I trapped in here forever?”

  Kinks …

  Stuck, then. Great. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

  No … No kinks. The water does what it does to keep you alive.

  “Okay.”

  No kinks … Only truth in its action.

  I sighed. “I know what you’re saying—this is the water power and what it was made to do. Can’t we upgrade it?”

  It is pure and true…

  “I was only asking.”

  There is another tower …

  A shudder went through me. “Yes.”

  The other tower …

  Oh, my God! “Is the other twin in Tower 2—the one helping out Lilisian?”

  Kill …

  I took that as a yes. “And you couldn’t tell me that earlier?”

  See now …

  Fine. Hecate had told me before that she can only help as she sees things—her power is limited. I wasn’t gonna moan. I appreciated the clarity now, so would roll with it.

  Kill …

  Pulses of distress ran through me—Greg and Dean. They were trapped in the tower with the sort-of zombies and the other shadow. Shit!

  “Nay!”

  “Jake?” she called back.

  “The lads are inside. What can we do?”

  She gave me the thumbs up.

  We couldn’t say too much, not with prying eyes and ears. That signal was all I needed to know. She was on it, and I could focus on the other tower.

  There was only one way I was gonna do this. I’d have to fight my way through the horde of non-dead brain-eaters.

  No …

  “Then what?”

  I couldn’t call to Nay and ask her to shift them out of the way for me again. That wouldn’t work. The shadows would hear.

  “Who do you speak with?”

  Speak the name of evil and it shall show its smoky friggin’ face.

  The shadow was close enough to the shield for it to thrum, but not close enough for it to be pinged off. Shame. That I would like to see.

  Those ruby orbs were muted by the inky glaze of my bubble. Still didn’t make them any less creepy.

  “You converse with something that is not yourself.” It slithered around me, a curious predator looking for a way in.

  “Nosy bastard,” I said.

  “Is it her? Is it the goddess you speak with? Does she tell you secrets, Jake? Are you planning on my demise right now?” It chuckled. “You cannot remain within that shell of … water? Is it water?”

  “Piss off.”

  “No matter, there will come a point when you will have to come out and die like a man. You cannot be a coward forever.”

  “As if I’d make it that easy for you.”

  “I was truly hoping to see you dead down here—a beautiful mess to admire. Artistry of my making.”

  “You’ve got a warped idea of art.”

  It did two more orbits around me. “There is beauty in death, artistry in destruction just as there is in creation. Your death will be beautiful, and not only because of your aesthetics, Jake.”

  The shadow was close enough to reach. I could do this, as long as Nay didn’t make her move and distract it, widening the gap between us. Crap! There was no way of timing it with her. I just had to go for it.

  “The undoing of the …”

  I wasn’t really listening, more focused on the movements. It was following the same pattern, a consistent orbit around me. The timing with the shield going down would have to be as close to perfect as it could be. Only problem was, I couldn’t control the power. What fun. I’d just have to be ready and hope all the elements inside me were listening. This was a one-strike gig that I could not afford to mess up. And there was a time limit against an invisible clock.

  “You wi
ll fail …”

  The shadow blathered on and I got to focusing. Come on, power. This was the only way. I couldn’t stay in there anymore.

  You on board? I asked internally.

  No answer.

  I need to be free to take the kill shot.

  Still no answer.

  You’re gonna have to let me go.

  Not a bloody word.

  It didn’t matter. I’d focus on getting free, ready to strike as soon as the shield relinquished its grip.

  You have to let me go …

  “Maybe you will see your husband, the real one, over on the side of death.” The shadow was still waffling on. “That would be of great interest to witness, would it not?”

  Man, did I want it dead so bad. Plus, I was kind of dizzy from watching it snake around me.

  The shield dropped and so did I, landing on the concrete. My sparks spat with incandescent rage. I rolled, swinging my right arm out. My hand made contact with the shadow’s tail and sparks singed the darkness.

  The shadow hissed and faltered in its attempt to get away. I was on my feet and grabbed it again. It was the faintest trace of solidness, but there all the same. The beast screamed, and my sparks burned some more, illuminating the makeup of shadows and smoke into a million tiny white fires. I pulled hard as if it were a helium-filled balloon trying to float away but with more resistance. With every pull, more of it burned.

  The zombies were closing in, mere feet away—ready for the meal they’d been waiting for. Their moans only drove me to pull harder, resist the friction of the beast. And did it put up a fight. I was constantly on the precipice of losing my grip. But I wasn’t about to let opportunity literally slip through my fingers.

  No way.

  A zombie grabbed me and bit down on my arm. Holyfuckingbollocks! Pain tried to falter me, but still I pulled on.

  “Consume him!” the shadow shrieked.

  The zombie wasn’t letting go, teeth firmly set, cold hands pawing at me. I could feel the blood pouring down my arm.

  This was it, this had to be it.

  With all my might, I battled the pain and the fear of another bite coming on another limb, and pulled so bloody hard my muscles threatened to pop.