by Ashley Jade
I wince. “That’s horrible.”
“Right?” His eyebrows pinch. “She started crying and apologizing, even though it wasn’t her fault. I couldn’t take it, so I got in his face and told him if he didn’t stop treating her like shit, his new wife would end up turning into an addict and leaving him for drugs…just like his first wife.” Pain flashes in his eyes. “My dad loves Crystal, but my mom…she’s…when she left us it really fucked him up.”
Something tells me it fucked Oakley up too.
“I’m sorry.”
It’s all I can manage to get out.
He shrugs. “He got upset and left…and then it was just me and Crystal. As usual, she tried to pretend like everything was fine, but I knew it wasn’t.” I’m not sure what to make of the look on his face. “I should have gone back upstairs, but the more I saw her cry and the more I thought about how much it hurt that he wanted to replace me with a new baby, the angrier I became.”
I’m pretty sure I know where this is headed. “And I guess that’s when you two first…you know.”
Grinning, he nods. “Right there on the kitchen table. I made her come where—”
I hold up a hand before he finishes that statement. “Whoa there, cowboy. I don’t need all the details.”
Some things are better left unsaid.
He exhales a cloud of smoke. “After we were done, she said it was a mistake and it could never happen again…but it did. Every day for the next four months.” He rubs his jaw. “Before I knew it—we were no longer banging just to get back at him—we were doing it because we were in love.” A woeful smile touches his face. “We used to talk about what we were going to do after I graduated. Our plan was to take the money she’d get during the divorce and live on some exotic island—where no one would judge us for being together—and survive off coconuts.”
I fight the urge to point out that theoretically speaking, one can only live off coconuts for five to ten years tops.
And that this plan sounds way more like a fantasy than reality.
“But that’s the thing about falling in love, Sawyer.” Reaching inside his car, he pulls out another blunt and lights it. “Sooner or later…someone always gets hurt.” His expression turns pained. “And it’s never the person you expect.”
“It must have hurt like hell when she told you she wanted to stay with your dad.”
“Hell yeah it did.” He laughs sardonically. “But as long as I knew it was what she truly wanted, and she was happy, I could deal with it.” Another billow of smoke leaves his mouth. “What I couldn’t deal with was finding out that everything between us was a lie, and she was only using me.”
“Using you for what?”
“To get pregnant.”
There’s no hiding my surprise. “What? How—”
“I found a positive pregnancy test in the trash.”
“Shit.”
Another nod. “When I confronted her about it, she told me it was mine since her and Wayne hadn’t had sex since their big fight. I was scared, but I told her I’d do whatever it took to take care of them. I’d quit school, tell Wayne the truth about us, join the military if I had to…anything.”
It makes even more sense why Oakley’s so messed up over this. He was all in with Crystal and the baby.
“You wanted to step up and do the right thing.”
“Yeah, but I never got the chance.”
I urge him to keep talking.
Pain flickers in his eyes. “She ended up having a miscarriage a few days later.”
“Oh.” It’s all I can do not to wrap my arms around him. “I’m so sorry, Oakley.”
“Yeah, it really sucked, but in the end, it was for the best. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.” Blinking rapidly, he averts his gaze. “A few days before the miscarriage, I overheard her trying to convince my dad to ship me off to military school.”
Record. Skip. “What?”
This time a single tear makes its way down his cheek. “The walls are paper thin upstairs and the latch on their bedroom door is broken, so I not only heard…I saw. She was riding him, really giving it her all—no doubt so she could convince him the kid she was carrying was his—and persuading him to send me off to military school. She claimed having me around was stressing her out and it’s why she couldn’t get pregnant. She said their lives would be perfect once I was gone because I was such a fuck up.” His laughter is cynical. “It’s kind of funny, you know. She was having sex with my pops, but it was me she was really fucking.”
The swell of anger that rises within me is enough to make me shake.
I can’t believe Dylan’s aunt—the woman I used to think was so perfect and put together…is nothing but a two-timing snake.
“But my dad…” he continues, his voice cracking. “He told her he couldn’t do that because I was his son…and no matter how bad things got, he’d never abandon me like my mom did.”
This time, I do wrap my arms around him, hugging him as tight as I can.
“God, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s karma for screwing his wife behind his back and taking some gold-digging housewife’s side instead of his.” He grips the back of my shirt like he’s about to fall off a cliff and I’m the only sturdy thing he can find to hold on to. “I lost everything, Sawyer. Crystal, the baby, and my dad. All because I gave my heart to a bitch who used me, then tossed me away like garbage after she got what she wanted.” Burying his head in my neck, he croaks, “But I still love her. Why the fuck do I still love her?”
I tell him the truth.
“Because she manipulated you, and sometimes shitty people do it so well it feels like the real thing.” Placing both hands on his cheeks, I force him to look at me. “You made an impulsive mistake—we all make them—but you didn’t deserve what Crystal did, and you definitely didn’t deserve to lose that baby. But you can’t let what happened ruin the rest of your life. Your dad loves you and if you tell—”
“No.” Lifting his shirt, he wipes his face. “I can’t. If I tell him the truth, it will only screw everything up even more for him, and the baby.” He looks at me. “I know you don’t agree with it, but I’d rather live on the street than live in the same house as her while she’s pregnant with his baby.” He throws what little is left of his blunt on the ground. “I don’t want to work for Loki, but I need some cash so I can support myself. So far I have two Gs saved up—” He glares at me. “Or should I say, I had two Gs saved up for a car, but I’m gonna have to give that to Loki and find a way to come up with another two grand, thanks to you jacking my shit.”
As much as I hate to admit it, I feel kind of bad for doing that now.
I’m about to apologize, but then it occurs to me.
“Why don’t you ask Jace for the money and quit working for Loki altogether?” He starts to decline, but I hold up a finger. “Jace is your best friend. We both know he’d happily lend you whatever you need to get by if it meant you’d stop selling drugs. Besides, it’s not like he doesn’t have it, the Covingtons are loaded—”
“The Covingtons are, but Jace isn’t. Dude hasn’t taken a dime from his pops since he was seventeen. He works his ass off for every cent he has. No way in hell I’m asking him for money to fix my mess when he and Dylan are playing house and have their own bills to pay.”
“What about the other one?”
The dumb Covington brother who shall not be named.
“Cole?” He makes a face. “Not only will he want to know why I need the money, the dude charges more interest than a credit card and bank combined. I’m still paying off the hundred bucks he lent me for weed in eleventh grade. Plus, he already did me a solid by convincing his dad to let me stay in their guesthouse for dirt cheap. I’m not the kind of asshole who takes advantage of his friends, you feel me?”
“Yeah, I feel you.” Lord knows I don’t ask anyone for money, even when I’m at the point of lifting the couch cushions and digging around for spare cha
nge to put some gas in my tank. “But I still think you should tell Dylan and Jace you’re working for Loki so they don’t—”
He shakes his head profusely. “No can do.”
Trying to get through to him is like trying to compromise with a toddler. “Why? For fuck’s sake, they think you’re doing drugs. Jace is ready to end your friendship for good and Dylan is” —I position my thumb and pointer finger half an inch apart from each other— “this close to having a mental breakdown worrying about you.”
“I feel bad for hurting them, but I’d rather have them think I’m going through a rough patch than find out the truth and offer to bail me out.”
It’s all I can do not to jump up and down. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
He claps his hands in front of my face. “Follow the bouncing balls, young padawan. If I tell them I’m working for Loki, they’re going to all but force their money down my throat. But I won’t take it because this isn’t their mess…it’s mine. A real man figures out how to handle his business without involving the people he cares about.”
Desperate times call for desperate measures. “Fine. You don’t have to tell them.” I press the unlock button on my key fob. “I will.”
I’m about to open my car door when he grabs my wrist and tugs. “You promised.”
“I promised not to tell anyone what really happened with you and Crystal. I made no such promises about Loki.”
“Come on, Sawyer. Don’t make me beg.” I hate the anguish brewing in his eyes. “I already told you, Loki is temporary.”
“How temporary?”
“I don’t know. A few years, give or take.”
“Years?” I shriek. “Are you crazy?”
“Man, you should see your face right now.” His lips twitch. “I was kidding, short stack. A few months at most.”
“How many months?”
Swear if he tells me twelve, I’m going to kick him in the balls.
“I’m not sure. Probably until I can buy a new car and I have a few grand saved up to get my shit together.”
Despite hating this whole thing, I find myself bending. “Three months tops, buster.” I poke his chest. “But that’s it.”
He breathes a sigh of relief. “Deal.”
Another thought occurs to me. “Not so fast. There’s something else I want.”
Something that might make all of this worth it if he agrees.
Not to mention, ease some of Dylan’s anxiety about him not graduating…again.
“What?”
“Tutoring. Two times a week. Three-hour sessions.”
It means I’ll most likely be losing what little sleep I’m getting, but it’s worth it.
He looks like he wants to object, but I’m not budging. “That’s the deal, Zelenka. Take it or I’ll tell Dylan the truth and let her handle you.”
“Fucking hell.” Eyes narrowed, he gets uncomfortably close to my face. “Are you always so stubborn?”
“Yes,” I start to say at the same time a deep voice that sounds a whole lot like Cole’s drawls. “Only on days that end in y.”
As if on cue, Satan himself sidles up to Oakley’s car.
Normally his presence alone is enough to make my pulse race with contempt. However, it’s the murderous glare he’s aiming at Oakley that has my heart picking up speed.
“Didn’t mean to ruin your little moment together.” He juts his chin at us. “By all means…continue.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d say there was a hint of jealousy lacing his tone, but that would be absurd.
We haven’t spoken a word since the incident.
The one that shattered my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.
On instinct, I rub the knot forming in my chest.
Whatever’s left of my heart has a full-on hissy fit and threatens to quit beating altogether if I’m around the asshole for more than a minute.
Which means I have about twenty seconds left to get into my car and drive away.
“You didn’t ruin anything,” Oakley tells him. “Sawyer was just—”
“Oakley,” I hiss. “What I do is none of his business and if you want our little situation to work, you’ll remember that.”
Oak starts to speak, but my nemesis cuts him off. “What situation?”
There’s a dangerous edge to his voice.
The nerve of him.
“Bless your heart,” I mutter before I gesture between me and Oakley. “You must not have gotten the memo that what happens between us is none of your dang business, Covington.”
The asshole has the audacity to grin. “That little southern twang that peeks out whenever you’re angry is adorable.”
Dear God in Heaven, I hate him.
He doesn’t get to flirt with me or use words like adorable when he ripped my heart out of my chest and ate it like a savage beast.
Oakley rubs his chin, contemplating. “Now that you mention it, I always thought she talked kind of funny.”
Great. Now he has Oakley joining the dark side.
It’s officially time to leave.
Reaching for my door handle, I mumble, “I’ll text you later.”
“You don’t have my number, sweetness.”
That does it.
“That’s because I wasn’t talking to you.” Every ounce of fury and pain I’ve been bottling up for months rumbles inside me like a volcano as I whip around. “And just so we’re clear, you don’t get to stand there and act like everything is cool between us, because it’s not. I never want to talk to you again. As far as I’m concerned, you no longer exist.”
It’s the meanest thing I’ve ever said to someone, but try as I might, I can’t muster up the will to ask God for forgiveness.
Cole hurt me…more than anyone else ever has.
And given I’ve been bullied most of my life and my mother likes my older sister way more than me…that’s saying something.
Oakley’s gaze ping pongs between us. It’s as if he doesn’t know whether he should interfere or go grab some popcorn.
Knowing him, he’s probably leaning toward the latter.
Ignoring me, Cole focuses on his friend. “You ready?”
Oakley strolls to the driver’s side of his car. “Hell yeah. I just need to make a few pit stops before Christian’s.”
Cole’s eyes cut to me. “Fuck Christian’s. I’m in the mood for some new pussy. All the skanks in this town are boring.” Green orbs peruse my body from head to toe. “Well, all except one.” My breath catches when his gaze darkens. “But the only time we hooked up, she turned me off so much I puked.”
Bile works up my throat as my mind flashes back to that night.
Is that what happened? Was my body so gross I made him sick?
“I hate you.”
I barely manage to choke the words out as I open my back door and toss my bag inside.
A moment later Oakley starts his car and peels out of the parking lot.
I should have left the second he showed up.
I’d been doing such a great job at avoiding him for months, but one stupid slipup and I’m right back where I started.
The tiny hairs on my arms prickle when I shut my door and feel someone creep up behind me.
I say a silent prayer it’s not him, but the good Lord above must have taken the night off because Cole’s citrusy scent invades my nostrils.
I force myself to take a deep breath, refusing to turn around.
Cole doesn’t deserve my tears.
He doesn’t deserve a damn thing from me.
“Go away.”
“Thought I didn’t exist to you anymore,” he whispers tauntingly, his breath tickling my ear.
“Go fuck yourself.”
“I bet you’d like that, huh? Watching me jerk it for you.”
“What I’d really like,” I grit through my teeth. “Is for you to leave me alone.”
He runs a long finger down the nape of my neck, and I fight back a shiver. “We both know
that’s not true, Bible Thumper.”
“Whatever you’re doing, it ends now, Covington.”
He leans in closer, pressing me against the van. “You sure about that?” His hand finds my hip. “Because it seems like it’s just getting started.”
“Wow. Does that shit really work on girls?”
“I don’t know.” His hand shifts ever so slightly. “But if I slip my hand under your skirt, we’ll both find out.”
I silently curse myself for not changing out of my school uniform.
“No.” I place my hand on top of his. “You had your chance and you blew it, remember?”
“Actually, I don’t.” The tip of his nose skims the crook of my neck and he inhales deeply. “Why don’t you remind me?”
“I’d rather swallow broken glass.” My pulse skitters when I feel him start to thicken. “Stop touching me.”
I hate how weak and thready my voice sounds.
Before I can blink, he spins me around. “What happens if I don’t?”
Defeated, I let out a heavy sigh. “What do you want from me, Cole?”
He doesn’t answer, instead he toys with the gold cross on my necklace. The one my Nanna gave me before she passed away.
“Such a shame.”
“What is?”
A rush of air escapes me when he skims the pad of his thumb down my cleavage.
“That some fictional dead guy you insist on worshiping gets the privilege of being buried in these tits all the time.”
I swat his hand away. “What is wrong with you?”
His eyes harden. “You, Sawyer Church. You are everything that’s wrong with me.”
I fight the urge to laugh. “Somehow I doubt that.” I look around the empty parking lot. “I’m pretty sure your girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate you talking about another girl’s boobs, so you should probably leave.”
“I can’t.” He bites his lower lip and I hope to God he never does it again because he looks so sexy it should be a crime. “I don’t have my car and I told Oakley to get lost for the next twenty minutes.”
“Wow, twenty minutes, huh? Is that all it takes?” Paying no mind to the way his jaw tenses, I pat his shoulder. “As thrilling as that sounds, I’m late for work.”
I’m so late Mr. Gonzales is most definitely going to lose his shit the second I walk in.