Jaded By Desire (Lust, Desire, and Love Trilogy Book 2)

by Cox, Desiree A.

  By the time I returned back home, Jeff had already left to go to Connor’s. He was going over to make sure he had everything ready to take to the hotel.

  I was going over my list, doing the same. Neither of us was looking forward to sleeping in a hotel or apart, but we decided, that we would not break tradition. We’d stay there the night before and night of the wedding. The morning after the wedding, we’d come home and get ready to go to the airport.

  Being at the hotel, we weren’t so far away that we couldn’t come back by the house if we needed to because we forgot something. Jeff and the guys had a suite they’d stay in, and my bridal party and I would be doing the same on the Wedding Eve. The night after the wedding, Jeff and I would be in a suite of our own, and they all could stay in those rooms together, again, without us.

  Jackie was on her way over to help me get everything that wasn’t already at Georgia’s apartment, to the hotel.

  My nerves were doing a number on me. I hadn’t eaten. My stomach felt completely empty, hollowed. My chest was tight, and my nerves were causing tingles to run through my thighs, weakening my legs. I was hungry, but didn’t feel like I could eat, not now, not and keep it down. The anxiety and excitement going into the weekend was bowling me over. In less than twenty-six hours, I would be Mrs. Jeffrey Carrington. The doorbell snapped my fantasizing. I ran down the stairs and flung open the door.

  “Hey, Jackie.”

  “I was expecting a butler, but I guess you’ll do.” She chuckled. “This place is fucking nice as hell.” Jackie stepped into the foyer and began looking around. “This is the second or third time being here, and I am still in awe.” She stepped into the living room, then back to the foyer before looking up the stairs that led to the balcony.

  “So, are you ready for this?” Jackie sang out. Her voice was all it took to turn me into a tearful mess. My words wouldn’t come out; my emotions surrounding this weekend had an invisible grip on my throat. All the crying and tears were annoying the hell out of me, too. Damn the hormones! I thought I had things under control, then it just took that one small thing, that one simple question, to prove me wrong.

  She came closer to me and pulled me into her embrace. “Don’t cry.” She stroked down my back. “You’re still planning to get married, right?” All I could do was nod my head into her shoulder.

  “Bitch, you better. I spent too much money on that dress, shoes, jewelry, and my hair.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Leave it to her to find a way to chip away at my emotional funk and brighten my mood. God, I loved her so much. I loved everyone right now. I even loved strangers in the damn grocery store.

  “I -- I’m okay,” I stammered. “I’m sorry; everything seems to make me cry lately.”

  “Don’t apologize to me. It’s cool. I get it.” We walked back to the kitchen.

  “It’s so irritating, though. I feel like such a crybaby. My emotions are in stupid overdrive right now. I cry over the dumbest shit.”

  “I’ll make sure to have extra tissues tomorrow, just in case. But just remember.” Jackie waved her finger in the air at me. “If you get too out of control with your crying tomorrow, your make-up will run, you’ll ruin your pictures that you’ll have to look at for the rest of your life, and you’ll look like hell in front of all the guests.” We both laughed.

  “And that, would be very fucked up,” I quipped as I wiped the last bit of moisture from around my eyes. “Do you want anything to drink before we get started?”

  “Nah, I’ll get something when we get to the hotel. I have a few bottles of wine in the car for later.”

  “I meant a glass of water.” I laughed and shook my head. “I’m not going to drink tonight. I’m just letting you know now. Even the slightest weight gain and that dress won’t fit.”

  “Fine, more for me.” We both laughed, and I nodded my head in the direction of the stairs. “Before we go up, show me around.”

  I had forgotten, Jackie had never seen the entire house before. She had come to pick me up a couple times, but hadn’t gotten a walk-through. I walked her around, showing her the first floor before we went upstairs. After giving her a quick peek in each of the spare bedrooms, we went into Jeff’s bedroom. I skipped the basement. I’d save that for another time.

  “This place is really nice, Nikki.” Jackie kept looking around, opening the closet doors and glancing in the bathroom.

  “Yeah, it is. Jeff’s house sure as hell beats that house I was in.”

  “Wait a minute, why did you just call this place Jeff’s house?”

  “Because it is. I moved into his house. My name isn’t on it.”

  “Yeah, but you live here. Don’t you put this address on all of your mail?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Then it’s your house too, right?”

  “Yeah, I guess it is.”

  “So when you marry him tomorrow, whose house will it be? Still just his?”

  “All right, it’s our house. Is that better?”

  “Don’t try to convince me; you need to convince yourself.”

  “Come on, we’re squabbling over nothing. We have to get this stuff into the car so we can get it to the hotel. I still have to make sure Georgia gets everything out of her house, too.”

  We grabbed bags and boxes of items that I had sitting in a hallway to be taken to the hotel. My make-up, my shoes, regular clothes to lounge around in, and toiletries. I also had to take my second dress for the reception. I couldn’t believe how much stuff I had. Jackie couldn’t either and told me I looked like I was moving out. Maybe we should have just gotten married in the backyard; it would have been easier. We finally got everything in her car just before Jeff came back home.

  “Hi, Jackie.” His tone was aloof, but he was trying to be nice.

  “Hey,” she replied.

  “You guys are going to take good care of my girl tonight, right?”

  “Absolutely. We’re going to get her drunk, then hit the strip club. We’ll probably keep her out all night.”

  “That wasn’t quite what I meant.” His lips thinned, and he glared in my direction.

  “We aren’t doing that. I just felt like yanking your chain.”

  Jeff walked over to me and snaked his arms around my waist, then bent his head to whisper in my ear. “I’m going to come steal you away later, just for a little bit. I can’t stand that I’ll be away from you all night.” He pressed his cheek against my head and inhaled deeply, then lowered his lips onto mine. His kiss was gentle. It stirred my stomach and heated me between my legs. He lifted his mouth from mine enough to whisper, “I need to feel you wrapped around me tonight.” He held a handful of hair in each hand and pulled me close to him. “I intend to make you scream later, pussycat.” I gasped as he took my mouth again.

  “Are you two done?” Jackie was tapping her toe, staring at us with that save-it-for-later look on her face.

  “I’ll be waiting for you, just text or call.” My panties were soaked at his promise. We didn’t have our own room, so I wasn’t sure of the logistics, but I knew Jeff would figure something out. I gave him another quick kiss, told him bye, and left with Jackie.

  We had decided to go by Georgia’s house before going to the hotel. We could get my wedding gown and shoes in the car, then Georgia could meet us at the room when she was ready.

  To our surprise, when we arrived at her house, she had everything in her car and was ready to leave. She followed us to the hotel. Once we turned into the hotel driveway and parked under the overhang, we scrambled to get a cart and loaded everything on it to take to our room.

  “Wow,” Georgia exclaimed. “This is it. Tomorrow’s your big day. How do you feel?”

  “Nervous and excited.”

  “You’ll be okay,” Candace interjected. “It will be over before you know it. Then you’ll be happily married and in Hawaii.” We were all surprised to hear her voice. We didn’t expect her to arrive until later in the afternoon.

  “Make sure yo
u take pictures in Hawaii. Lots and lots of pictures. I may not make it to Hawaii ever in my life, but at least I can see it through your pictures,” Jackie stated.

  “Trust me, pictures will be the last thing on my mind while I’m there.” My eyebrows danced up and down before I gave her a quick wink.

  “Bitch, take pictures. You have to come up for air at some point.”

  “I will, I promise. I was kidding. We have some activities planned to get us out of the room. I plan to take a ton of pictures.”

  “Do you think you guys will have kids? I mean, I don’t mean to pry, but I’m just curious,” Georgia asked with a sheepish grin on her face.

  “I don’t know, maybe. We haven’t really talked about it.” It wasn’t completely a lie. Yes, we were having at least one, but we hadn’t talked about it, it just happened.

  “You’ll probably come back from your honeymoon pregnant. You hear those stories all the time.” Jackie was touching on a very sensitive subject. She had no idea how right she was. She hit the nail smack-dab on the head. I’d be coming back pregnant all right, but only because I was pregnant before we even left.

  “Um, yeah, maybe we can talk about something else. Like where the hell is Mandy?”

  “Oh, she called me; she’s not going to get here until around seven tonight.” Candace and Mandy seemed to hit it off quite well when they were introduced. It didn’t surprise me she had called her and let her know she would be running late. Mandy had to have known I was going to be a freaking mess today.

  “Well, let’s go get checked in. I’m ready to go up to the room. We can text Mandy the room number so she can just come straight up when she gets here.”

  I stepped up to the front desk, got us checked in, and we walked down the hall and around the corner to catch the elevator up to our room. Once we got in the room, I sent a text to Jeff letting him know we were here and what room we were in.

  We made quick work of getting everything hung up in the closets to make sure we didn’t end up having to iron our clothes. The last thing we needed was that to slow us down tomorrow.

  Jeff

  I couldn’t believe tomorrow we’d be married. I never thought or expected we’d actually still be together to make it to this day, honestly. I went from not sure I wanted to talk to her, then after meeting up with her, thinking I didn’t want to be anywhere near her. Now, I wasn’t able to stand being away from her. I was so caught up in her. Pussy-whipped is the exact way Hunter describes me. That’s cool, I’ll be that. I’ll tattoo that label on me. I just can’t live without her.

  I was going to hate sleeping in that hotel, alone. I needed to feel her body next to mine. I loved feeling her soft skin pressed close into me.

  If you ask me, that whole ‘don’t see each other before the wedding’ was some bullshit made up back in the day when women were virgins and couples didn’t fuck or live together before they got married. What does it matter these days? If my cock was buried in her last night, why couldn’t it be tonight, too? Why couldn’t we sleep in the same bed? Is it just me? Bad luck my ass -- I’m calling shenanigans.

  Well, fuck that superstitious crap, I had every intention of stealing her away from her friends tonight so I could feel her writhe beneath me. My cock jumped at the thought. Even that head knows Nikki should be in my bed with me.

  Just as Connor and I were leaving his house to get our tuxes and all the other stuff into the hotel, I got a text from Nikki letting me know they had checked in. She sent the room number, but with Jackie, the pit bull there, I doubted very much that I’d stop by. I didn’t want to have to deal with her trying to enforce the whole you-aren’t-supposed-to-be-together crap. I was happy that Jackie and I were able to get along most of the time, though. That was progress.

  After we got settled in, it didn’t take long for Hunter, Sandy, and Jorge to arrive. We ordered room service. They sat around drinking Fireball shots, but I passed. I had plans. I had to drive later. At the rate they were going, the only one that would probably realize I even left would be Sandy.

  Hunter was apparently still drowning his sorrows over that worthless ex-girlfriend of his. She was ridiculously hot, but her fucking personality was as flat as a dull rock. How he spent an entire year with her is beyond me. She was fuck-and-duck material only.

  After another couple hours of talking, I had had enough. My friends were great, but I needed to see Nikki. I pulled out my phone and sent her a text.

  Me: Can you sneak out?

  Nikki: Give me about ten minutes

  Me: Meet me downstairs in the lobby

  Nikki: OK

  I felt like a teenager sneaking around behind my parents back.

  Chapter 7

  I woke before everyone else with my stomach in knots. I had a feeling deep in my stomach that something had been over-looked, something didn’t get finished. Some detail had not gotten the proper attention. I knew it was technically too late to do anything about it, but I wished I could put my finger on what was gnawing at my nerves.

  I sent a text to Jeff. We knew we shouldn’t see each other until the wedding, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t chat.

  Last night had been amazing. I liked spending time with my friends, but I loved spending time with Jeff. We made a trip back to the house. There’s nothing like being in your own bed. Then reluctantly returned to the hotel where we said our good-byes and returned to our respective rooms. I had to agree with Jeff, that tradition of not sleeping together seemed way outdated.

  I rose and made the bed, then began pacing. I had to try to figure out what was causing this concern, what was driving me insane. I pulled out my laptop to review my planning document. My brain was turning to lumpy gravy, and I had to rely on notes for damn near everything. I scanned up through all the tasks on the plan and noticed I had confirmed everything except the music and DJ, but it didn’t seem like that was it, that I felt so unsettled over music. I knew Jackie and Connor were more than capable of getting that taken care of. There had to be something else.

  As I scrolled up the page, there it was, under the list of tasks to do one month before the wedding. I hit my head with the palm of my hand. I fucking forgot to write my wedding vows. During the rehearsal, we never actually said them; we just told the justice of the peace we were going to write them ourselves. And I forgot. Fuck!

  I picked up the hotel notepad near the phone and began scribbling words just when someone knocked on the door. I glanced at the clock, then slipped on my silk robe before walking over, and peering through the peephole. Mom was standing on the other side of the door. I quickly unlocked it and let her in.

  “Good morning, Mom. You look beautiful.”

  “Good morning, sweetie. How are you? Are you ready for your big day?”

  “Ugh,” I moaned. “I forgot to write my wedding vows. I can’t believe it. Of all things to forget, not that.”

  “You don’t need to write anything and prepare a canned speech. If you love him, you can just talk from your heart.”

  “I do love him, Mom, there’s no if about it,” I snapped, and my annoyance at her comment was evident.

  “I know you do, dear, I didn’t mean to say it like that. I was merely making the point that you don’t need to prepare anything in writing.”

  “You’re right, I don’t. But what if there’s something I really want to say and I don’t say it?”

  “You’ll have the rest of your lives together to tell him how much you love him and tell him anything else you forgot today.”

  A tear streamed down my cheek. We had the rest of our lives together to tell each other how much we love each other.

  “Sweetie,” Mom started, “I think you need to pull it together. You can’t cry through this entire day.”

  “I’m trying, it’s just that this —” I stopped myself and looked off to a corner of the room, hoping my surprise at my near slip wasn’t obvious in my facial expression. It was killing me not to tell her. But in two more weeks, I could tell h
er and the world.

  “It’s just what, Nikki? What are you keeping from me?”

  I couldn’t believe I had almost let it slip that I was pregnant. “It’s just that I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love Jeff. I love him more than I loved Sky.”

  “It’s a different type of love. With Sky, I could tell you loved him very much, but it was that young, first love. The kind that is pure and innocent. The kind you hope will last. With Jeff, your eyes twinkle at the mention of his name, so I know he has won your heart. It’s a more mature type of love, the kind that can last forever, if you work at it and you want it to.” Mom pulled me into a hug. I needed to hear her reassurance. And even though she would never admit it, her comments were a way of admitting she was accepting Jeff as my husband.

  “I think you need to start getting ready. You should make sure the dress you plan to change into during the reception is kept out so you can hang it in the room. Then you can grab it quickly when you decide to change. Make sure not to forget the shoes.” Mom released me from her arms.

  We continued our chatting while getting all of my things set up and lined up. One by one, everyone else woke up and joined us in the living room area. I had slept on the pull-out sofa, but had made it and folded it back up already. I thought that was the easiest and less disruptive of arrangements since I was only going to be there one night.

  As everyone else gathered in the living room, I pulled out my phone and saw I had a text from Jeff. I was lost in the thought of him as I sent a reply ‘good morning’ text back to him.

  “Are you texting with Jeff?” Candace asked me.

  “Yes.” I blushed.

  “Good grief. No wonder you didn’t hear us. We are going to make a food run. Do you have a preference?”