Finding Paige: (The Paige Diaries #1)

by D. K Lake

  "So you thought I was some religious prude?"

  "Basically, yeah. But then I met you and realized you weren't like that because you wanted to be, you were like that because you weren't given a choice. I know your sister and the way she talks about what it's like living with your mom, and she said your mom has always been tougher on you."

  "Yeah, ‘cause Kelsey is a delinquent. My mom never really had any control over her, and Dad wasn't that strict, so it fell on Mom to set the ground rules. But she sort of lost control of Kelsey when Dad left and then she was always on my back about being better than Kelsey. She expects me to be this perfect daughter, the one that gets straight As. She's already picking out which college she wants me to go to where I will study law. She expects so much from me..." I muttered, trailing off. "Sometimes I want to be someone else."

  I turned to look at him and using his thumb he brushed away a stray tear on my cheek.

  "You can be whoever you want to be when you're with me." he said.

  "You always make me feel more like the person I want to be when I'm with you." I admitted.

  "And who is that?"

  "I don't know, but she smiles a lot more and you make her laugh, and she feels free when she's with you. Free from everything else."

  "And when I'm with you, you make me forget about all the fucked up shit that's going on in my life." he said, lightly brushing his thumb over my bottom lip.

  His gaze was so intense it made the butterflies in my stomach feel like a whirlwind. I looked away first and lifted the bottle to my lips and realized I had nearly drunk the whole bottle. When did that happen? I felt a little lightheaded but nothing bad.

  "I need to pee," I blurted and handed him the bottle and disappeared into the bathroom, and as soon as the door was closed, I fell back against it.

  What was happening between us? What were we doing?

  I had so many questions.

  Would we end up in bed? Would I let it go that far? What would happen tomorrow when I would have to go back to Prairie and he would go back to Radley Springs? Would we try the whole long-distance relationship? I wasn't even allowed to date. We'd never get to see each other. Was this the last time I would see him?

  My head was spinning with too many questions that I didn't have the answers for. I was usually good at everything and could always work out the answer to anything, but with Dario, I had no answer. Everything was up in the air. I had no idea what I was doing when I was with him. But I didn't want to stop.

  Chapter 17

  Sunday morning, I wake up early to miss the shower rush and get washed without being disturbed or bumping into anyone. I then spend way too long trying to decide what to wear for my date later on with Maverick.

  Date?

  Is that what this is?

  I finally decide on my smart skinny jeans and a white cold-shoulder top and pair it with my tan sandals. I browse Em's jewelry collection and pick out a long gold chain that will go nicely with the outfit.

  Next, I visit the laundry room and wait around for our clothes, passing the time with a book.

  By 1 o'clock I'm bored and need food. I head over to the campus cafeteria which is luckily open all weekend and grab a turkey sandwich and juice. I find a bench at the back of the cafeteria and eat my food on my own feeling like a bit of a loser. My best friend has ditched me and I don't have any other friends. I make a mental note to socialize more next week and try and make at least one more friend.

  A group of guys walks through the doors and I'm already looking for Maverick before I even realize I'm doing it. He's not there, though. I want to text him and make sure we're still on for tonight, but I don't have my phone and I can't even borrow Em's because she's not here. I could knock on his door, then I remember I don't know his room number.

  With a sigh, I tidy up my area and make my way back to my dorm room. I collapse onto the bed and grab my book and try to pick up where I left off but my mind keeps drifting back to what happened last night with Dario.

  How did I let that happen?

  I let out a groan and toss my book on the nightstand and curl up on my pillow and close my eyes for a moment for a power nap.

  ***

  I wake up sometime later to shouting in the hallway. I glance at the clock thinking I've been asleep for ten minutes when I see it's 6.10 pm.

  What?!

  I slept for four hours!

  Maverick will be here soon. I wonder how he'll know which room I'm staying in because I forgot to tell him. Am I supposed to meet him down in the lobby? I have no idea. He just said seven.

  I rush around the room laying out my clothes. I already blow-dried my hair this morning and it still looks good. I quickly sweep on some makeup and add a little blusher to my pale cheeks. I brush my teeth with my water bottle and then spit in the cactus plant Em keeps on the window ledge. I mean, I'm not about to spit out the window and it lands on someone’s head. I'm in a rush and I don't have time to go down to the bathroom.

  I grab my bag and decide to go and wait in the lobby, that way we won't miss each other and he won't be waiting for me. I sit on a bench and wait until 7.30 pm when I can no longer hold my bladder and have to nip to the bathroom. I then wait for another half hour and Maverick never shows.

  Huh.

  He did say seven, right?

  I check my watch, ignoring the looks I keep getting from the group of girls sitting around the couches in the adjoining room. They keep giggling and looking at me, probably thinking I've been stood up.

  Maverick might have canceled our date and messaged me, but I have no way of knowing and there's no way I'm going back to the garage to get my phone.

  I'm sure if Dario has my phone he'd use it as an excuse to come and see me so he can return it. I'd feel safer if he came to me. I can't be left alone with him. But he's had all day to return it and he hasn't shown up, and he hasn't had anyone drop it off either. I worry I might have dropped it in the parking lot. I give up on waiting for Maverick and go and search the parking lot but don't find anything.

  Well, this sucks.

  I find a payphone and ring Em. I don't know the number to my phone otherwise, I'd call it and see if anyone picks up.

  "Yellooooo," Em answers the phone sounding intoxicated again. I wonder if she's even sobered up since last night.

  "Em, it's Paige. You know, your best friend that you abandoned."

  "Who?" she teases.

  "Haha." I say dryly.

  "What's wrong?" Em asks, knowing I'm in a mood.

  "I can't find my phone. I think I left it...somewhere."

  "Somewhere? Like at the garage where I last saw you with your legs spread-"

  "Em!"

  She giggles. "All right. But I knew it wouldn't last long before you two were hooking up."

  "We're not hooking up."

  "So what do you call that? And don't try to tell me your knickers just fell off and he happened to fall face-first into your coochie."

  "Stop! I don't want to talk about that. It was a mistake. I don't even know how it happened."

  "I do. You went over there knowing exactly what would happen. I saw the knickers on the floor. Or should I say my knickers, the lacy ones."

  "I was all out of clean ones and you had plenty spare, so..." I lie.

  "You're a terrible liar." Em says and I can hear the smile in her voice.

  "You're wasted?"

  "Hardly."

  "You sound drunk."

  "I'm just happy." Em sighs.

  "Where are you?"

  "At the park."

  "You're at the park?"

  "Uh-huh. Come join us?"

  "No. I just want you to ring my phone and see if anyone answers it."

  "Okay. Fine. Whose phone are you using?"

  "I'm in a payphone. Just hurry up." I hang up and wait in the payphone gaining numerous looks from the girl outside that is waiting to use the phone.

  "One minute, I'm waiting for a call." I tell her and she mutters cur
ses at me and crosses her arms.

  The payphone rings and I snatch up the receiver.

  "Em?"

  "Guess again," Dario says and I can hear in his tone that he's got this shit-eating grin on his face.

  I don't respond.

  "Paige?"

  "How did you get this number? I'm waiting for Em to call." I ask bewildered.

  "I know. She just phoned and I asked for the number."

  "So you do have my phone?" I ask to be sure.

  "Yup."

  "Why haven't you returned it?"

  "I've been busy. I was hoping you'd stop by again. We could carry on where we left off."

  "Not happening."

  "Come on, P. You know you want to. I bet you can't stop thinking about the way my tongue felt on your pus-"

  "Seriously. Stop it!" I shake my head and let out a breath. "Are there any messages on my phone?" I ask, regretting not putting a lock on the phone. If Maverick has sent any messages no doubt Dario has read them all by now.

  "Uh...nope. Just a few messages from your friend Em."

  No messages from Maverick? But would Dario tell me if there were? Probably not. He'd probably delete them.

  "Are you sure?" I ask once more.

  "Yuuup."

  Right.

  "I'm not going to be able to get to the garage so can you just pass it onto Spencer and he can give it to Em seeing how she's attached herself to his hip."

  "You sound jealous."

  "No, not jealous. But I'm not happy about her messing around with him."

  "He's not that bad. She could do worse. At least he won't get her drunk and take advantage of her and ditch her somewhere."

  "He won't?"

  "No. Do you really think I'd let your friend run around with someone like that?"

  "Why would you care?"

  "Because I care about you," he responds.

  "Can you just get my phone to me somehow, please." I ignore his comment.

  "I'll try my best."

  I hang up before he can say anything else. As soon as I turn around, I find the same girl glaring at me. She bumps into me as she pushes past me and grabs the receiver.

  Rude much?

  I wander the hallways of the dorms, hoping to run into Maverick, but I feel kind of desperate and sad and quickly give up and go back to my room to wallow in self-pity.

  Did he change his mind? Am I getting ghosted right now? I hope he didn't see me looking for him like some stalker girlfriend.

  Then another thought occurs to me...what if Dario beat him up again? I wouldn't put it past him. He might have found him and warned him to stay away from me.

  I climb into bed feeling miserable, not knowing what's going on. It will be super awkward tomorrow if Maverick is ghosting me. Is he going to outright ignore me in class and pretend I don't exist? I thought he was one of the good ones. Maybe I was wrong.

  Chapter 18

  Monday morning, I arrive at my English class early and sit in my usual seat. I watch as the other students filter through the door. Maverick and Em are still a no show when the professor arrives, and he starts setting up his desk space. I doodle on my notepad and hear Maverick's voice. I look up and see him talking to some guy at the front of the class and he looks my way and smiles at me.

  I don't know what to think so I go back to my doodling and wait to see where he sits. He jogs up the steps and takes a seat next to me and places a coffee cup on my desk.

  "One latte with extra cream for you, my lady." he says, dropping his bag on the floor.

  "Um...thank you," I turn to him with a confused smile.

  "You like coffee and I wanted to get you something. How are you feeling?"

  I stare at him with this perplexed expression.

  "The stomach cramps?" He chuckles, reaching into his pocket. "I quote: sorry, but I can't make it tonight. I got my period."

  I lean over and see he's reading a message that I supposedly sent to him last night.

  But there are more messages.

  I grab the phone out of his hand and he chuckles as I read my messages.

  WTF.

  I'm gonna kill Dario!!

  Paige: It's like a monsoon down there.

  Paige: The floodgates have opened.

  Paige: My knickers are like a murder scene.

  What the hell?

  Maverick: No worries. We can reschedule? x

  He put a kiss!

  "Uh...I uh..." I stammer. "I'm so sorry. I-I really don't remember sending these. I was in a lot of pain and I took a bunch of pain killers. Maybe I took too much." I laugh it off.

  "I figured you were just joking, or that maybe someone had stolen your phone," he says.

  I pick up the coffee cup and take a sip.

  Mmm. Delicious.

  I'm mortified Dario sent those messages. What does he think he's playing at? He sabotaged my date night with Maverick.

  "It's cool. But seriously, are you okay?"

  I just nod and set my coffee cup down. I can't tell Maverick that Dario sent those messages otherwise he'll know I was with him at some point.

  "I'm fine." I force a smile.

  The professor tells everyone to quiet down, and I shrink back into my seat. Feeling embarrassed and pissed off with Dario.

  Ten minutes into the class, Em slips inside the door looking worse for wear. She quickly apologizes for being late and hurries over to where I am sitting and slides into the seat beside me.

  "Rough night?" I lean in to whisper.

  "We didn't get to bed until 4."

  "What were you doing until 4 in the morning?" I wonder, then wish I never asked.

  She bites her lip with a smile. I shake my head in amusement. My friend is crazy, but I still love her. I just hope this Spencer guy doesn't break her heart. She falls hard for guys, hard and fast. She's got a long history of boyfriends and it's usually Em who does the heartbreaking and dumps them before they get too attached. Em is all about having fun and not putting labels on anything. She hides her wild side well from her parents who have absolutely no idea what she gets up to after dark. She lost her virginity at the age of fourteen at some party in a field to a boy from another town who was two years older. She came into school on Monday and I stood there gawking at her in the girls’ bathroom as she told me all the details. I had been curious about the party and had wanted to go but my mom would have never let me out of the house. Whenever I stayed over at Em's, my mom would ring to check in with her parents to make sure we were there, and whenever Em went out to party she always told her mom she was at mine, the only difference is, her mom never checked up on her and took her word for it.

  After class, Maverick hangs back while I put my books away.

  "Hey. I'm going to the movies later with Addie and my brother and a bunch of other people. I'd ask you to come, but I’m guessing you're not well still."

  "Right." I got my monsoon period. "I think I'm just going to get an early night."

  "Can I text you later?"

  "Uh...I've misplaced my phone."

  "Okay." He laughs. "You sure you're not just trying to get rid of me?"

  "What? No."

  "I had a lot of fun on Friday night with you."

  "Me, too."

  Emily bumps into me with her bag and I move out of her way and Maverick nods his head at me to follow him down the steps. We step out of the room and stand by the wall and Em gives us a moment alone and scrolls through her phone while she waits for me.

  "Look, I don't really want to go to the movies and watch Addie pine over my brother while he sticks his hand up some other girl's skirt and gets her off." Maverick tells me casually.

  "At the movies?" I gape.

  "Last time I had to switch seats when the girl he brought with him went down on him right there in the back row."

  "Ohmigawd."

  "Yeah, I'm pretty picky about where I sit now." he chuckles. "Do you think maybe I could come and see you later instead of going to the movies?"


  "In my room?" I ask unsure.

  "Yes." He smiles. "We could watch a movie on my laptop?"

  "Umm...."

  "Don't worry. I'll be as good as gold and I am house-broken." he jokes.

  "I guess that should be ok. I don't know where Em will be, though."

  "Well, if it's a problem, my room is free. My roommate is in the band and he's usually off somewhere blowing his trumpet."

  I burst out laughing.

  "Seriously. His name is Cringo and he plays the trumpet."

  "Um...okay, well uh, just come by my room and we'll figure it out."

  "Cool. What time?"

  Dario had said he would drop my phone off and I don't want them bumping into each other.

  "I'll text you." I say.

  "I thought you lost your phone?" He smirks.

  "I did. But it's in my room somewhere. I'll find it before tonight."

  "All right. Let me know when you want me to come over. Or if you wanna come to mine? Whatever."

  Em coughs loudly to signal to us to hurry up.

  "I will do, I gotta go. I'll see you later." I smile up at him and he surprises me when he dips down to my level and brushes a quick kiss across my lips.

  "Later." he says and walks away and disappears into the flow of students.

  "What was that?" Em shuffles along the wall.

  "What was what?"

  "You and Mav?"

  "We're going to hang out tonight and watch a movie. Are you going to be in the dorm tonight? If so, I can go to Mav's room so we don't disturb you."

  "So, what? You're gonna date Mav but hook up with Dario?" She ignores my question.

  "Em." I warn.

  "What? I get it. Mav's hot! I'd do him." I give her a look and she smiles back at me. "But he's one of the nice guys."

  "I know. You keep saying. And I'm one of the good girls."

  "Are you?" She arches an eyebrow at me.

  "Just stop. Nothing is going on between Dario and me."

  "Right."

  "I just want to get my phone back from him and then after, I won't need to see him again."

  "Yeah...you keep telling yourself that. C'mon, we've got classes to get to. I'll catch you at lunch."

  We go our separate ways and I spend my day thinking about tonight and whether Maverick will kiss me again.