Finding Paige: (The Paige Diaries #1)

by D. K Lake

  "All right, then. Let's see what there is." I slide onto the bed beside him and we browse through the movies.

  "There's so many it's hard to choose." I chew on my lip. "What's about this one?"

  "My Best Friend's Girl." Maverick reads.

  "Have you seen it?"

  "No, but I remember Addie said she watched it and it was really funny."

  "Well, let's watch that one." I say just as there is a knock at the door.

  I don't expect Em back because she's out for the night so who's knocking on the door? No one ever knocks on our door.

  "It's probably someone for Em," I say, hopping off the bed and swinging the door open.

  My face falls off the planet at the sight of Dario standing on the other side. He's changed out of his overalls and is in jeans and a gray t-shirt.

  "What are you doing here?" I whisper-shout.

  "It's nice to see you too." Dario says with a smug-eating smirk.

  Maverick stands up and comes over to stand behind me.

  "Hi, it’s Marvin, right?" Dario says.

  "It's Maverick." Maverick folds his arms.

  "Whatever. I just came by to return this," Dario produces my compact mirror from his back pocket. "You dropped this when you were leaving." He holds it out to me and all I can do is glare at him for a beat too long, before slowly reaching over to take the mirror but being careful not to touch him. "Do you have my shirt? You know the one, it's checkered blue? You borrowed it the other weekend."

  I don't say anything and cross the room and dig through my tote bag where I left it and pull it out. I then throw it at him, and he catches it before it hits his face.

  "Well, you two have a nice night. Call me if you get bored." Dario winks at me and saunters off down the hallway while I'm stuck to the floor.

  "Paige," Maverick says, stepping in front of me. "What was that all about? Why did he have your mirror? And why did you have his shirt? I thought there was nothing going on between you two."

  "There's isn’t." I manage to say.

  "It doesn't seem like that."

  I want to kill him.

  "Just give me a minute." I say and rush out the door, chasing after Dario.

  "Hey!" I call and I know he hears me, but he chooses to ignore me as he jogs down the stairs, whistling as he goes. "Don't you walk away from me!" I yell, jogging down after him.

  He stops at the bottom and turns around with a big smile on his face.

  "Why are you doing this?" I snap.

  "Doing what?" He shrugs. "I thought you'd need your mirror and I want to wear this tomorrow." He hooks his fingers in the shirt and tosses it over his shoulder.

  "Don't play games with me." I push him back a step. "You're doing this on purpose. What have I done to deserve this?"

  "What?" he says, confusion crossing his face. "You haven't done anything." His tone changes as he tries to reach for me.

  "Don't touch me!"

  "P, I'm sorry, okay?"

  "No, you're not. Can't you just leave me alone to be happy?" I plead.

  "Paige, I'm not trying to hurt you." he says, grabbing my elbow and pulling me to him.

  "Then leave me alone." I ground out.

  "I can't do that."

  "Don't you get it? I don't want anything to do with you. I hate you!" I push him away and he lets me.

  "You don't mean that." He stands still, keeping his hands away from me.

  "I do." I turn to walk away.

  "What happened after you left the motel? I know this has something to do with your mother." he calls.

  "Just leave me alone!" I yell over my shoulder.

  "You'll soon get bored of him." he shouts and I race back up the stairs.

  I turn the corner and see Maverick just coming out of my room with his bag slung over his shoulder and his laptop under his arm.

  "You're leaving?" I ask, hurrying to catch up with him.

  He adjusts the strap of his bag and looks over the top of my head, searching the hallway, but Dario's long gone.

  "I think maybe we should do this some other time." he tells me and brushes past me.

  I stare at the back of him as he walks away.

  "Mav?" I call but he doesn't turn around.

  With a sigh, I let myself back into my room and sit on my bed with my phone in my hand. I text Em.

  Me: You there?

  Em: Always. x

  Em: Where were you when I woke up?

  Me: You don't want to know.

  Em: I really do.

  Me: The garage. I went to get my phone back.

  Em: I guessed that. Did you find Maverick?

  Me: Yes, but then Dario showed up here to cause problems and now Maverick hates me.

  Em: No, he doesn't. He wouldn't be chasing after you if he didn't like you.

  Me: How do I fix this?

  Em: Fuck him?

  Me: EM!

  Em: Ok. How about a handjob?

  Me: You're terrible for giving advice.

  Em: Just talk to him. Explain it. xx

  Me: What if he doesn't want to hear it?

  Em: Make him.

  Right.

  I check myself in the mirror and give myself a quick pep talk. I lock the door and go in search of Maverick's room. I have to ask a few people before I find the right room. I knock and wait patiently. Maverick opens the door and stares at me for a moment.

  "Can I explain?" I ask and he steps away from the door and leaves it open for me.

  I slip inside and close the door behind me. His room is laid out a little differently and the beds are in different positions. One side of the room has photos of family members plastered all over the wall and a picture of a kangaroo. The bed is a mess and there are clothes all over the floor on that side. I assume that's his roommate's side. Maverick's side is a lot cleaner with band posters covering the wall, dark blue bedsheets which are neatly made, and a tidy desk where his laptop is sitting next to a stack of comic books.

  Maverick sits on the edge of his bed quietly. I watch him for a moment, wondering how to explain this mess. He probably thinks I've been messing around with Dario behind his back all week.

  "Okay. Explain." he says, resting his chin on his knuckles.

  "Um...Okay, so, last week when Em dragged me to that party. You know the one where I bumped into you. Well...Dario was there as you probably know, and I spilled something on my dress and he let me borrow his shirt to cover it up."

  Maverick nods his head for me to continue.

  "I haven't seen him all week until yesterday when I went to return his shirt, but I somehow managed to forget all about the shirt and we talked..." I can't exactly say we kissed and that Dario went down on me. "And then he gave me a ride home and I dropped my phone in his van."

  "So Boston had your phone yesterday?"

  "Yes," I sigh. "I phoned him from a payphone to ask him to drop it off but he purposely held onto it so I would go over there. That's where I was today. I got the bus there and back."

  "How did your mirror end up at his?"

  "I dropped my tote and it must have fallen out."

  "How is it you keep misplacing things when you're with him?"

  "I don't know. He confuses me and I forget what I'm doing." I answer honestly. "But there's nothing going on between us. If anything, I want him to leave me alone, but he won't listen."

  "Was that Boston who messaged me yesterday from your phone?"

  "Yes, he knew we had a date and purposely canceled on my behalf. I had no idea. I waited for you in the lobby, but you never showed up."

  "Why didn't you just knock on my door?"

  "I didn't know which door was yours. Also, I wasn't sure if you had changed your mind and was hiding from me."

  "Hiding from you?"

  "Well, I don't know. What was I supposed to think when you were a no-show?"

  "Why didn't you just tell me it was Boston that sent those texts?"

  "Because I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. Lik
e tonight. He likes winding me up." I mutter.

  "So, you don't have your period?"

  "No. Also, just for the record, I have normal periods. Not the monsoon kind." I say embarrassed.

  Maverick starts laughing.

  "It's not funny."

  "It kind of is. I thought you were trying to get rid of me when you sent those messages."

  "No," I shake my head. "Wait a minute. If you thought I was trying to get rid of you, how come you turned up in class on Monday and came and sat next to me? You even brought coffee."

  "I wasn't going to give up that easy." He smiles at me and I let out a sigh of relief. "You still want to watch that movie?" he asks.

  "Yup." I nod and he reaches over to grab his laptop.

  "Come sit." he says, patting the bed next to him. "I'm sorry about my messy roommate."

  "It's okay. I don't care about a few dirty socks."

  "Try twenty." Maverick jokes as I slide onto the bed next to him. "Hey, grab my bag," he says, and I lean over and lift it onto the bed.

  He unzips it and pulls out a bag of popcorn and two small bottles of Coke.

  "You bought popcorn?" I smile at the gesture.

  "If I couldn't take you to the movies, I wanted to bring the movies to you."

  "I'm sorry."

  "It's fine, at least now I can take you out without worrying about your lady problems." he teases and I bury my face in his shoulder.

  "Ohmigawd. Please, don't bring it up anymore. I was horrified when you showed me those messages."

  "I thought you looked a little white when you read them. I just assumed you were either drunk when you sent them, or you were seriously trying to get rid of me."

  I shake my head with a smile. "Nope."

  "Well, I'm glad you weren't trying to get rid of me."

  He sets the laptop up and I snuggle up to him and we watch the movie together, eating popcorn and laughing at all the funny parts. I almost forget about Dario.

  Almost.

  Chapter 21

  One year ago...back in the motel again.

  There was a knock at the bathroom door. "Paige, are you all right?" Dario asked.

  "Uh...yeah." I got up off the floor and quickly used the toilet and flushed it and washed my hands. I splashed some cool water on my cheeks that were looking a little pink from the alcohol.

  When I opened the door, I found Dario leaning against the wall outside.

  "What are we doing?" I said, my hand falling away from the door.

  "I don't know..." He pushed off the wall and towered over me.

  "Me neither." I whispered, looking up at him.

  "I know I should stay away from you, but I've tried. I've tried so fucking hard, P. I'm constantly checking your Facebook like a fucking stalker. I'm going out of my mind."

  He's not the only one.

  He cupped my face with his hands and rested his forehead against mine.

  "I missed you so damn much."

  "I missed you too."

  "Really?"

  "Yeah. I missed that goofy smile of yours." I teased.

  He smiled in return. "I don't want to stay away from you anymore. I know shit is fucked up, but we can make this work, Paige. I know we can. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

  "I don't know what you mean."

  He gently grazed the back of his knuckles over my cheek.

  "I mean, I can't stay away from you any longer. Either I'll move out to Nebraska, or I dunno..." He shook his head with a frown and rubbed his forehead.

  "You'd move to Nebraska for me?" I asked, confused.

  "I'd do anything for you." he said without having to think about it, and it made my heart melt.

  "Rio, that's crazy. You just started a new business-"

  "I don't care about any of that. You're more important. I don't have to be there all the time. I could get a place in Nebraska and I could come down on the weekends. Or I dunno…we could move in together. We could start our life together." he threw out there. I was almost sure I had misheard him. Move in together? We’re still so young though. I didn’t say anything. I could feel him watching me for my reaction. "Or we’ll figure something out." he added.

  "Why would you do that? We're not even together." I pulled away but he held onto my hand.

  "If you haven't noticed, I'm crazy about you." he said, and I felt my cheeks warming again. "You must know how I feel about you?"

  "No." I said quietly as he reeled me back into his arms. "We never really talked about any of this. All we ever did was mess around at work. Making out behind the drop-off point and playing footsie during our breaks."

  "You’re crazy if you think that's all it was." He reached up and tucked the hair that had fallen in my eyes behind my ear so he could see me better.

  "You never said you wanted more. I thought I was just another girl to you."

  "There are no other girls." He held my face in his hands and kept his hazel eyes fixed on mine. "Only you. It was only ever you. I fucking love you, Paige."

  I stared at him for a moment. Dario loved me? The boy I had been crushing on for years and had slowly been falling in love with. The boy that stole my first kiss. The same boy I would break all the rules for because I was crazy about him too, was in love with me?

  "I should have told you sooner but I was scared."

  "Scared of what?"

  "Scared to let you in. I didn't want you getting too close because..." He looked away.

  Because he's a drug dealer. I already knew that. He went from smoking pot to dealing it, and then when the Torres brothers moved to town, he started dealing a lot more and it wasn't just weed. I had heard people talking. I knew more than he probably thought I did.

  "Dario, I know what you do. I've known for a long time. I'm not stupid."

  "I know you're not, but it doesn't mean I want you getting caught up in what I do. I was trying to keep you away from it all. I still am. Why do you think I ignored you for so long and didn't call? I was giving you time to move on and meet someone new...but I guess I'm selfish when it comes to you. I couldn't stand the thought of you with someone else."

  I reached up on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck.

  "There's no one else." I told him.

  "I really do love you," he said softly.

  "I love you, too." I admitted.

  I couldn't wait anymore. I needed to feel his lips on mine.

  "Kiss me?" I begged.

  He smiled at my words and leaned down to meet my lips. He tasted like beer and mint gum, and memories. I had missed his lips. His smile. His laugh. I had missed him so much.

  His tongue touched my lips and I opened my mouth to him, and his tongue searched out mine. He moaned a little when our tongues tangled together and his fingers found their way into my hair and he held me close, kissing me long and slow, savoring every moment as if it was our last.

  He pulled away first leaving me open-mouthed, wanting more.

  "Dance with me," he said suddenly.

  He let go of me and went over to where his phone was and switched songs for something slow and melodic. I'd never danced with anyone before. Not unless you count Em and what we do isn't exactly dancing, jumping around on the bed while Em teaches me to twerk.

  He wrapped his arms around me and I found myself pressed up against his chest. I slid my hands around his waist and held onto him. We weren't really moving anywhere, just swaying to the music, but it felt more like hugging, but I liked whatever it was we were doing. I liked being close to him. I felt safe in his strong arms. I felt as though I could do anything with him by my side, including standing up to my mom and telling her what I want for a change and not letting her make all the decisions for me.

  The drink was slowly kicking in. I felt more relaxed and my head was swimming with happy thoughts.

  "I don't know how this is going to work but we'll make it work somehow. I don't want to be apart from you anymore. I get that you're in school still, and I have
a few more months left, that is if I can be bothered to finish. My parents wanted me to go to college, but that’s not happening now. We'll figure something out, P, okay?" he told me, resting his chin on top of my head.

  I just nodded and buried my face further into his t-shirt, inhaling his familiar scent, trying to memorize it, knowing I would have to leave him tomorrow and go back home and it was going to kill me.

  I knew after tonight, no matter what happened, I wouldn't want to be apart from him. I knew what he did and that he lived in a dangerous world compared to mine, but I still wanted to get lost in him. I wanted to be with him no matter what the cost. I wanted to take the risk. I would find a way to convince my dad to let me move in with him and I would transfer schools back to Colorado so we could be together. We wouldn't be able to be together if I was still living at home with Mom, she would never agree to Dario and I dating. She would probably move us farther away again just to keep us apart.

  Dario had such a tight hold on me that I had to wriggle free so I could look up at him. I was feeling brave again, so I slid my hands up his chest and around his neck. Dario must have sensed a change in me because he watched me like a hawk, keeping his hands firmly on my waist.

  "Paige," he warned.

  "What?" I said playfully, reaching up on my tiptoes to kiss his neck. He sucked in a breath and his fingers tightened on my waist. "What are you doing?" he asked in a low tone.

  "I want to kiss you."

  "I know you do...but there's no one to stop us here. I don't know if we should..."

  I pulled back and frowned at him.

  "You're the one that suggested we get a motel room,"

  "Yes, so we could meet up and talk, and be alone. I didn't book it thinking we'd..."

  "We'd what? You can say it, Rio. I'm a big girl."

  "You know that's not all I want from you."

  "I know, but maybe I want to. We might not see each other for a couple of months, I want to remember tonight."

  "You will, but we don't have to do anything more than this."

  "You don't want to?" I frowned, unhooking my arms from his neck.

  "What? No. I do. Of course, I want you. But you're seventeen, Paige. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."

  "I am sure. And I'm only ten months younger than you. I want this. I want you. Don't make me beg."