Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

by Kaja Foglio

  Carson nodded. “It’s not just Wulfenbach. The false Heterodyne’s people will be looking for you as well.”

  Krosp leapt to the top of the wall and looked around with interest. “As seneschal, you must know all the doors. Even the secret ones.”

  “Of course, but it won’t do to underestimate these people. If they think you’re here, I wouldn’t put it past them to have even the secret doors watched.”

  Wooster frowned. “They don’t sound like they’re terribly secret,” he remarked.

  Carson looked slightly embarrassed. “You can buy tourist maps that list most of them.” Under Agatha’s incredulous stare, he shrugged. “Sane people don’t try to get into the Castle.”

  They turned a corner and before them loomed a gigantic tower. It stood almost ten stories tall, a squat, circular structure built of native rock, encrusted with the occasional decorative panel, rusty spike, and the ubiquitous trilobites. After the castle, it was probably the tallest structure in Mechanicsburg.

  Atop this was a vivid red, pagoda-like structure from which hung an immense bronze bell, easily six meters tall. The surface of the bell, along with the huge chains that held it aloft, were covered in a thick green patina of age, except for a large bas-relief skull, which sported a large gilded trilobite set into its forehead.

  “The Doom Bell,” Carson declared proudly. “Only to be rung when a new Heterodyne is born, an old Heterodyne dies, or the Heterodyne returns from abroad.”

  “So I guess you’ll have to ring it for Agatha when you’re convinced she’s the real deal,” Krosp remarked.

  Carson looked startled and then a growing expression of worry crossed his face. “We…we might…” he conceded. “Oh, dear.”

  That sounded like a subject that should be explored at a later date. “So what do we do now?” Agatha asked.

  Carson snapped out of his musing. “What we do is send you in through the front door.”

  “What? But you said—”

  The old man waved a hand dismissively. “The trick is to make it seem like you don’t want to go in.”

  In the Great Hospital, Gilgamesh was slumped in a chair. He had a slightly sick look upon his face and he was breathing heavily. A small sound jerked his head up and an instant later he was by his father’s side.

  He scanned the array of monitoring instruments and nodded in satisfaction even as the Baron’s eyes fluttered slightly and then snapped open. Gil took a deep breath, adjusted his clothing, ran a hand through his perpetually disheveled hair, and stepped into his father’s line of sight. He was surprised at how gratified he was when, at the sight of him, the Baron noticeably relaxed.

  “I see you’re awake, Father.”

  “…” The Baron opened his mouth but nothing came out. Gil reached over and held a cup of water to the old man’s lips. The Baron sipped and in short order emptied the cup. He slowly ran a tongue over his lips and tried again. “I must be,” he whispered. “Dreams don’t hurt this much.” He closed his eyes. “How long?”

  “Two days.”

  Klaus absorbed this. “Damage?” he asked.

  Gil didn’t need to consult the chart for this. “Seven broken ribs. Severe fracture, right leg. Fractured clavicle. Some crush injury, but the kidneys appear unharmed. First and second degree burns on upper back and lower arms. Third degree on lower back. Four broken fingers, three broken toes. Sprained and bruised muscles throughout, major and minor lacerations, and a concussion.”

  Klaus’s mouth twitched. “Hmph. I’ve had worse.” His eyes examined the room before him. “We’re in Mechanicsburg.” Gil nodded. Suddenly Klaus’s eyes sharpened and he twisted his head slightly towards his son. This caused him to grimace. “Balan’s Gap?”

  Gil took a deep breath. “Contained.” Klaus opened his mouth but Gil continued. “In addition to the forces already in place, I reinforced them with the 13th Chemical Division, the 2nd Armored Infantry Battalion, and the 117th Interceptors. I placed the Seismic Rangers and Chained-Fire Horsemen on picket, and the Heliolux Airfleet is maintaining communications.” He finished—and waited.

  Klaus paused…and closed his mouth. Gil felt the same elation he had experienced when he had passed his first doctorate exam. With great effort, he kept his face blank.

  “Lucrez—”, his father rolled his eyes towards him and again licked his lips. “The Heterodyne girl. Is she here?”

  Gil nodded. “I believe so, although there is also an imposter.”

  Klaus wearily closed his eyes. “Nothing is ever simple where that family is concerned,” he whispered. “Where is she?”

  “She has entered the castle. I believe she is part of a larger plot taking advantage of your injuries. She has minions, equipment, up to and including her own airship. This tells me she has powerful backers.”

  Klaus frowned. “And she managed to coordinate all this while traveling in a circus across the Wastelands? She’s more dangerous than I’d thought!”

  Gil blinked. “Oh, no. Sorry, Father, that’s the imposter. Agatha is still in town. She’s making coffee at a café.”

  Klaus stared incredulously at his son and then his great head sank back onto his pillow. “Oh dear,” he muttered. “I am still dreaming. And it hurts.” He sighed. “How unfair.”

  Gil rolled his eyes. “Father, about Agatha—”

  A hint of the old steel entered the Baron’s voice. “She is the Other.”

  Gil spread his hands. “Coffee?”

  Klaus rolled his eyes. “The flesh she wears is different, but she is Lucrezia Mongfish! I talked to her! She didn’t even try to deny it! There is no mistake!” Klaus saw the emotions flickering across his son’s face and tried to reason with him. “You must understand. This girl you care for is not what she seems. She was aboard Castle Wulfenbach for what? Less than two weeks? I knew her for years. She’s a consummate actress. Ruthless, manipulative, and convinced that she is destined for greatness.” He closed his eyes, exhausted. “You must believe me,” he whispered.

  Gil refilled his father’s cup and helped him to drink. As he did so, he spoke. “Father, I agree that there is a lot to consider. The preliminary reports from the teams inside Sturmhalten Castle are extremely worrying. Rest assured that I am aware that there are serious questions about her and everything that has happened since we found her.”

  Klaus and cocked a shaggy eyebrow. “—But?” he whispered.

  Gil cleared his throat. “The very trait that allows Sparks to apparently warp the laws of physics seems to affect probability and statistics within their vicinity as well. Every visible action will be open to misinterpretation and their motives can easily be misconstrued.”

  Klaus looked startled. Gil leaned in. “Your words, Father, used to explain a rather catastrophic incident in your father’s laboratory when you were eleven, if I remember correctly.”

  Klaus glared at his son. “I was lying. I knew the cat was there.”

  Gil tried to look shocked.

  Klaus’s eyes narrowed. “You are trying to change the subject. Even if she wasn’t the Other, this girl is a Spark and that makes her dangerous enough. You do know that every single woman I have ever known who has possessed the Spark has tried to kill me?”

  Gil crossed his arms. “I think that’s just you, Father. How many women that you’ve been involved with without the Spark have tried to kill you?”

  An odd look crossed Klaus’s face. “I… I don’t see what that has to do with anything,” he muttered. “This girl—”

  Gil made a chopping motion with his hand. “Father, I’m not going to argue about this now. I sent the Jäger to bring her here and then I—we—will examine her. Until then, you should rest.”

  Klaus’s eyes widened in surprise. “The Jäger…Vole? Captain Vole? You sent him to fetch your Heterodyne girl?” Gil nodded, and a great weariness filled Klaus’s face as he closed his eyes. “Well, that should solve everything. It’s what I would have done myself.” He took in a deep breath. “I seem
s I have misjudged you. Well done, son.”

  A chill skittered across Gil’s heart. There was something he wasn’t getting here… He leaned in. “Is this another test?”

  The Baron twitched and a small pained sound escaped from his mouth. “Please,” he whispered. “Don’t make me laugh.” He took another deep breath. “No,” he announced. “There will be no more tests, my son. The time for such things is over. Now give me your report. What has been done?”

  Gil stared at his father for a second—his mind racing—then he straightened up and organized his thoughts. “Castle Wulfenbach is not yet here. I have closed the city gates and established a perimeter. I am reinforcing the garrison. I was trying to do it subtly, with troops rotated out of Balan’s Gap, which has also allowed us to secure the main road. Tourists and non-residents are being urged to leave. No one can enter except for vetted residents. The garrison here was never very large, and the false Heterodyne neutralized the Black Squad when she entered the castle. We’re…still trying to locate them.

  “With the remainder, I’ve reinforced the gates and entrances we know about, but I doubt we’ve found them all. I’ve put out a call, but we have no air power here, and thus I haven’t been able to bring down the imposter’s airship. Since it has no weapons to speak of, I haven’t made it a priority. I have the remainder of the troops patrolling the streets and guarding the armory. I thought about activating the Mechanicsburg militia, but since we’re dealing with an actual Heterodyne, I thought that could be a bad idea.”

  Klaus nodded at this. “Why are you still in here? Surely there are better command posts?”

  “Word of your state has spread,” Gil said frankly. “I feared assassination.”

  Klaus snorted. “Any attempts?”

  Gil glanced to the side. “A few. Nothing worth mentioning.”

  Klaus absorbed this. “The work of your imposter’s people?”

  Gil shook his head. “I… don’t think so. They’ve all been very disorganized, just random enemies taking advantage of the situation. To a degree, I believe the imposter’s people are also taking advantage of circumstances but they’re much more organized. They are following a plan.” He leaned against the window and stared out at the town below. “Killing you would seem to be a necessary step, but it’s been long enough that I have to conclude that our imposter’s people haven’t tried to do it.”

  Klaus frowned. “That does seem sloppy.”

  Gil nodded. “And I haven’t seen sloppiness anywhere in this. No, if they want the Empire…” Suddenly Gil felt his eye drawn to the brooding pile that was Castle Heterodyne. An errant thought trickled through his mind. “If they…want the Empire…”

  Klaus had long been able to recognize when the people around him were being clever. He knew when to be silent and when to prod. He waited a second and then cleared his throat.

  Gil spun about. “But what if they don’t?” He stared at his father. “What if all they want—at least for now—is Mechanicsburg?”

  With a bound he was at the door to the room. He pulled it open with a jerk, startling the two troopers stationed outside. “Get Captain DuPree in here,” he ordered. “Now!”

  He then spun about and went to his father’s side. As he spoke, he made a last check of the medical machinery and then began to perform a similar check upon his walking stick. “I’m afraid I must go after all, Father. When the main attack comes, it will not be here.”

  “Explain.”

  Gil waved towards the airship that could be seen floating above the town. “These people had a false Heterodyne all prepared. She was trained. Rehearsed. They could conceivably have known about Agatha, but you being injured? They couldn’t have planned for that.” He gave his father’s hand a gentle squeeze. “We’re not even a part of this yet. This isn’t a direct attack upon the Empire, it’s an outflanking maneuver. They’re after legitimacy.”

  Klaus interrupted. “Claiming to be a Heterodyne won’t get them that.”

  Gil nodded. “Not directly, no, but…” He paused to organize his thoughts. “You’ve imposed order, Father, but before you did that, ours was always a minor house. Before the Empire—”

  Klaus snorted. “It was all chaos. Everyone was fighting everyone else. Fools.”

  “Yes, but before that? Before the Long War?”

  Klaus looked startled. “Before? Why—you’d have to go back to the Storm King, but even—” A thought struck him. “Oh! The girl!”

  Gil pounced. “The Heterodyne girl!”

  Klaus stared at him. “Ridiculous! That’s practically a fairy tale! Who would—”

  “Everyone,” Gil declared flatly. “They have a pet Heterodyne heir, and fairy tales have a great deal of power because everyone has heard them! If they do this correctly, Europa will submit to them and cheer while they do it. But in order to do it right, they need to take Mechanicsburg!”

  Klaus nodded. It was obvious that this news invigorated the wounded man. The fact was that Klaus enjoyed a well thought-out bit of insurrection. It gave the troops something to do, allowed him to do a bit of fighting, and occasionally spotlighted some genuine grievances within the Empire. This one seemed to be particularly well thought out and Klaus was already eager to begin cracking it.

  “The first thing I should do—”

  But Gil had been ready for this and he pitilessly smacked his father sharply upon the chest, causing the Baron to gasp in shocked surprise and pain.

  “You must rest! At least for now. I will deal with this.”

  Klaus angrily opened his mouth. Gil raised his hand and Klaus flinched and then grudgingly nodded. “Very well.”

  Gil took a relieved breath.

  “But there is one last thing,” Klaus said, and seeing the look in his son’s eye, he raised his voice. “And it’s important. The Heterodyne girl. Your Agatha, not the other one. She has a companion. She is a girl with a pair of unusual swords and long green hair.”

  “Green?” Gil looked intrigued.

  Klaus nodded. “Bright green. Be careful. She is a formidable fighter.” Klaus hesitated, which was uncharacteristic of him. His eyes shifted sideways. “There is a very good chance that she has been sent to Europa to kill you.”

  Gil blinked in surprise. “Kill me? What did I do?”

  “Absolutely nothing,” Klaus roared. The force of his anger shocked Gil and even seemed to surprise the Baron himself.

  Gil’s eyes narrowed. “Father, what did you do?”

  For the first time, Klaus gazed directly at his son. Pride filled his face. “I kept you alive.”

  Gil was nonplussed and the Baron closed his eyes and settled back into his bed. “And now, as you yourself have said, I need to rest.”

  Gil stared at the supine man and then, as it would look bad if he strangled him, settled for waving his arms in the air. “Confound it, Father!” he howled.

  Klaus cracked an eye open. “And you have work to do.” He closed the eye again. “I will explain anything and everything when you return.”

  Possibly nothing else could have silenced Gil as effectively. “Everything? Even my…” his breath caught. “Even my mother?”

  Klaus nodded wearily. “Anything you want.” He sighed, “But especially your mother.”

  This was a bombshell. Gil had often asked about his mother but Klaus had always refused to answer. As he became better at reading people, Gil realized that the subject affected his father deeply and the mere mention of it would disturb the great man for days at a time. To finally have an explanation…

  Gil took a deep breath. “Then rest up, father, I have many questions.”

  The corner of Klaus’s mouth quirked upwards slightly. “Don’t I know it,” he whispered. Again his eye opened but this time the look he gave his son was soulful. “But for pity’s sake—DuPree?”

  Bangladesh DuPree was also one of the few people who had little or no fear of the Baron. When he was healthy, Klaus found this refreshing, in a guilty pleasure sort of wa
y. But the idea of being trapped in the same room with her, where he would be subjected to her endless, cheerful running commentary on life, the functioning of government, and how everything would look better if it was on fire, had him seriously considering ways to knock himself out.

  Gil smiled. “Oh, you have my sympathy, but she’ll keep you alive.”

  This was certainly true, if only because Bangladesh was a highly functional homicidal maniac who never worried about what she called “the small stuff.” It worried Gil that he had yet to fully figure out what DuPree considered to be “the Big Stuff,” This was because whenever he thought he had an idea about what it might be, DuPree set it on fire.

  “But my will to live…”

  “For what it’s worth, her jaw has been wired shut.”

  Klaus brightened immediately. “Good heavens. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” He then felt a touch of paternalistic concern. “Is her jaw really that damaged?”

  Gil suddenly focused on the machines near his father’s head.

  Klaus frowned. “Gilgamesh?”

  The young man shrugged. “Well, I never actually said that her jaw was damaged at all.”

  An odd sound brought his eyes back to his father, who was grimacing. “It really does hurt when I do that,” Klaus confessed.

  Gil refrained from supplying the obvious medical response.

  There was a light, rhythmic tapping on the door. After a moment, it swung open and Dr. Sun peered around the doorjamb. When no one shot at him, he stepped through, followed by a dark-skinned woman with long glossy black hair, wearing a crisp white captain’s uniform. Her eyes glared furiously at Gil over a complicated bandage and wire apparatus that covered the lower part of her face.

  Gil clapped his hands and gave every indication that he was pleased to see her. “Ah, DuPree! How are you feeling?”

  Beneath the bandage, it could be seen that her jaw tightened. DuPree settled for raising a finger at him.

  Gil tsked. “I keep telling you, Captain, it’s ‘thumbs up.’”

  Her eye twitched.

  “Perfect! Now I’m leaving you here to guard my father.” Instantly her face grew serious. Gil continued, “Your orders are simple. Kill anyone who enters this room except for Dr. Sun or me.”