Fall From Love

by Heather London

  Finally, after a torturous thirty minute drive, I pull up to the station and hop out of my car. My boots make a crunching noise with each step I take, jogging to the main door. When I pull the door open, Paul’s eyes grow wide when he sees me.

  “Shit, Holly. What are you doing here?” He’s staring at me like I’m some kind of crazy person. Maybe I am.

  “I wanted to be here when they got back,” I say breathlessly.

  He rakes his hands through his hair. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that road you just drove up is right now? You could’ve gotten stuck out there or—or worse. Carter’s going to kick my ass. He’ll kill me for telling you.”

  “It really wasn’t that bad,” I lie, keeping just how dangerous the roads really are to myself.

  “Damn.” He shakes his head. “Well, since you’re already here, go make yourself comfortable. Oh, man, he’s gonna kill me,” he mutters the last few words to himself as I make my way across the room and sit on the couch, pulling my knees to my chest.

  An hour or so passes with no updates on their location, but, finally, there’s some static noise on the radio that’s lying on the desk where Paul’s sitting. He picks up the radio, glances over to me and then says, “This is Paul, go ahead.”

  I can’t hear what the person on the other end is saying, so I make my way across the room and stand beside Paul. I close my eyes when I hear that it’s Carter’s voice on the other end.

  “We’re going to try to descend while there’s a break in the weather. Over.”

  Paul looks up at me. “Gotcha, buddy. Be careful coming down.”

  When he sets the radio back down his gaze travels back to me. “See, nothing to worry about.”

  “You didn’t tell him I was here, why?” I ask, confusion filling me.

  “One, he needs to concentrate on getting down the mountain and not on what shit you went through driving to get here. And two, he’s already gonna kick my ass; no need to give his anger time to simmer all the way down the mountain.”

  “I’m really sorry,” I say, and I am sorry. The last thing I want to do is get Paul in trouble. Turning around I make my way back to the couch, waiting and hoping that they make it back down soon.

  No words are spoken between Paul and me for over an hour. Every once in a while he will look at me over his shoulder, but the moment our eyes meet, he looks forward again. I’m pretty sure he knows that I know who he is. It’s Paul that called me the night of the accident with Adam. It’s his voice that came across the line, telling me that Adam had been taken to St. Anthony’s hospital.

  When I met him for the first time at Josh and Carter’s, I knew there was something familiar about him, but I couldn’t place it. It wasn’t until I called the station tonight and heard his voice over the line that I knew for sure.

  Another hour passes slowly and Paul stands up, making his way over to me. The couch concaves when his tall frame sinks down into it. He rakes his hands through his dark hair and sighs.

  “Hey, don’t worry about Carter, okay? He’s one of the best guys we have up there.”

  I nod, pressing my lips together.

  “Do you want me to call someone? Maybe Josh or Jenna or something?” he asks.

  I shake my head, knowing Jenna would insist on being with me and the last thing I want to do is put even more people out in the bad weather. “No, I’m good.”

  He sighs again. “Why don’t you at least go lay down? Carter has his stuff in the last room on the left. There are clean sheets on the bed. You should try and get some sleep; it may take them a few hours to get back down.”

  After debating on what to do, I decide to take him up on his offer. When I enter the room, the coldness hits me and I immediately wrap my arms around my waist. I find a lamp sitting on an old oak desk and, when I turn it on, I’m able to take in the room a little better. There’s a twin size bed to my left and it’s covered with Carter’s things. I see one of his black thermal shirts lying over the chair and I pull it over my head, breathing in the scent of him. After curling up on the bed, I glance at the large red numbers of the alarm clock glowing just a few inches from my face. It’s one-thirty in the morning. The last time Carter called in was almost two hours ago.

  ❧

  The last time I remember looking at the clock it was three-o-six and my nerves are getting worse with each passing second. The next thing I remember is feeling something cold wrap around my midsection. Cold—ice cold. Even through my clothes, I shiver. When I open my eyes, it takes me a second to remember where I am. I blink hard and see the large red numbers now read four-fifteen.

  My heart starts to hammer as I put it all together in my mind. I begin to shift so I can turn to look at him, but he squeezes me tighter against his chest.

  “God, you’re so warm,” he breathes and I can feel the coldness radiating off of him.

  “Carter.” I struggle to turn over, but he grips me even tighter.

  “I’m so sorry you had to go through that again,” he whispers.

  My eyes close and I fight to keep the tears that are stinging my eyes. He sighs, finally releasing me, and I turn over to face him.

  “Hey,” he says.

  Relief shoots through me when I finally see his face, when I see that he’s okay. “I’m so sorry about what I said to you. I’m so sorry for yelling and for leaving and for not calling. I’m—I’m just sorry.”

  He pulls me tight to his chest and rests his chin on the top of my head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell you the truth. I wasn’t sure how to tell you without hurting you and then I didn’t want to lose you.”

  “I was so worried.” My voice is muffled from being buried in his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I say again and again.

  Leaning back, I look up and meet his eyes, not even realizing the tears have escaped until he wipes them away.

  “I’m here. I’m okay.” He smiles gently and then bends down to kiss my cheek, causing something in me to snap. I am tired of lying to myself, tired of refusing to give my body and my heart what they need and want from him, tired of this charade we have tried and failed at keeping up.

  Reaching up, I press my lips to his. At first there’s some hesitation, or maybe it’s shock, but it doesn’t take long for his lips to fall in sync with mine. He kisses me back hard and with purpose, his tongue diving in and taking complete control of my mouth, of me. He moans when my hands reach up, tangling in his hair, and pulling him down harder to me. He props himself up and his body hovers over mine, positioning me so that I’m lying under him. His hands travel across my chest and trail down my side, finally resting on my hip. My mind is swimming with how good he feels, how good he tastes, but even then, it isn’t enough. I want more. I want to be closer. I need to be closer.

  “Carter.” I pull away, both of us gasping for air.

  “Holly, I’m—that got way out of hand.”

  “No, I don’t want to stop. I want you closer.”

  He looks into my eyes, realizing the need I have burning inside of me. He pulls me tight up against his chest, kissing me again and crushing my body against his, almost to the point of pain.

  A small whimper of frustration escapes my lips. “Closer.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

  ~ Mae West

  CARTER

  As I pull back and look in her eyes, I realize exactly what she’s asking for and, as much as I want to give it to her, I’m not sure if that’s the right choice. I swallow hard as I scan over her face, seeing the desperation and desire and damn if that doesn’t make me want to give her exactly what she wants. “Holly—” I begin, but she cuts me off.

  “I know what I want. I want you. I want us. Please don’t ask me if I’m sure.” She smiles and softly presses her lips to mine. This kiss is different from our kisses in the past. There’s no urgency with this one; it’s soft, slow and deliberate. The
re’s a moment when she pulls my bottom lip into her mouth and sucks on it that I almost let things get out of hand. Before they do, I pull away again.

  “Wait,” I breathe. Damn me to hell if we’re going to do this here, right here on this bed, when there’s a bunch of guys out there probably listening to us right now. “Let’s get out of here. We can go back to my place,” I say.

  “No,” she whispers, shaking her head, and I think for a moment she’s changed her mind. “Jenna’s at your place, but we can go to mine,” she finally says.

  I don’t kiss her again because, as strong as I am, I’m not sure I could resist if she kissed me again like she just did. Sitting up and getting off the bed, I turn and take her hand, pulling her up beside me. As bad as I want to, and as much as her eyes are asking me to do it, I still don’t kiss her. I take her hand and lead her down the hall and towards the front door. Paul and Jake don’t say a word to us as we enter the front room, but I can’t help seeing big, stupid grins stretch across their faces.

  The drive to her place takes forever and there’s not a lot of talking between us, but at least the weather gods are on my side since the sky has cleared and the snow has stopped falling.

  I reach my eyes over and catch a quick glimpse of her that makes me wonder what’s going on in her head. Even though a part of me is tempted to ask her, I don’t. I hope she’s thinking this through. I hope she’s analyzing every feeling inside her right now, making sure that this is what she really wants. That she really wants me. I know I want her—with everything inside me, I want her—and I’m hoping she’ll have me.

  The drive back to her house finally ends and, as I put the car in park, I slightly turn my head to glance over at her again. She turns to meet my gaze and, after only holding it for a split second, she turns away from me, opens her door and hops out. I meet her at the front of the car and she doesn’t say a word as she grabs my hand and begins to walk up the sidewalk towards the stairs.

  When we’re finally inside, she turns to me and I still see the desire in her eyes, but there’s something else there as well. Fear grips my heart and I’m convinced that she’s thought this through and she’s changed her mind after all.

  “Carter,” she says.

  I swallow hard. Here it comes. She’s going to tell me she needs more time and I’ll tell her I understand because I do and I’ll wait. I’d do that for her. I’d do anything for her.

  “I want this, but I’m a little nervous,” she says, looking up at me. “I’m not sure why, but I just wanted you to know that.”

  The grip on my heart releases. She’s nervous, I get that. I am, too. I’m not only nervous, but I’m scared. Scared out of my freaking mind at how much I care about this girl standing in front of me. I’m scared at how she makes me feel, but most of all, I’m scared of ever losing her again.

  The last few days without her, thinking I lost her forever, were hell for me. When I saw her car parked out in front of the mountain rescue headquarters, I’ve never been so relieved in all my life. When I saw her in the bed, sleeping, I stared at her for a moment before crawling in behind her, knowing in that moment that I loved her, that I couldn’t and didn’t want to live without her.

  I take each of her hands in mine, tangling our fingers together and then bringing them around her lower back, pulling her closer to me.

  “I’m nervous, too,” I whisper and kiss her softly, slowly, knowing there’s no rush for us to get this over with. I want to take my time with her. I want to taste every piece of her and relish in this moment for as long as I can. She kisses me back and pushes against me, telling me where she wants to go. I begin to walk backward, taking her with me, making small steps towards her bedroom.

  When the back of my legs bump against the bed, I pluck her off the ground and lay her down, trying like hell not to break our connection. Bracing myself over her, I kiss her carefully letting my tongue glide over her bottom lip, sucking it and massaging it with my tongue, before moving on to her top lip. I fight to keep my movements slow and deliberate, but when she sucks my tongue into her mouth, I nearly lose it. Her hands move down my back, gripping the bottom of my shirt, tugging it up and over my head, causing our lips to separate briefly.

  When I look at her, I see her eyes travel from the base of my stomach, upwards, before coming back and meeting my eyes.

  I carefully inch her shirt up and lift it over her head before returning to remove her bra. Starting at the base of her stomach, I kiss every inch of it, occasionally sucking on small pieces of her skin, causing her to give out the sexiest moan.

  As I unbutton her jeans and pull her zipper down, I cautiously glance up to her, wanting to make sure she is still okay with where this is going. She gives me an adorable smile that makes my whole body warm, and then she lifts her hips up, and I throw her jeans and underwear behind me, leaving her naked beneath me. My eyes never leave hers and she watches me intently as I unbutton and remove my jeans, causing my heart to feel like it’s going to explode through my chest. Before lying back down, I pull a condom out of my wallet and watch her closely, waiting for any sign that maybe she’s not ready to take this next step.

  With my bare body against hers, I kiss her lips softly before pulling back. “What I’m about to say to you isn’t because of what we’re about to do. It’s because of what we’ve been through, what you’ve done to me, and what you continue to do to me.” I kiss her again. “I love you, Holly. You’ve brought me back to life, something I wasn’t sure was even possible.”

  She starts to say something, but I can’t control myself anymore and my lips crush against hers. I kiss her deeply; kiss her with everything I have inside me, like I need her more than I need my next breath. Her hands run up and down my back, before knotting in my hair, pulling me harder against her. When her legs reach up and wrap around my back, I slip inside her gently and instantly feel her warmth. Our bodies come together as one, moving in sync, and her thighs tighten around my hips.

  I kiss her softly each time I press inside her and with each movement I make; it’s as if all the pain, all the grief I’ve been holding in, melts out of me.

  HOLLY

  Did that really happen last night or was that just a really, really good dream? I ask myself, opening my eyes and squinting from the bright light shining in through my bedroom window. I feel Carter shift beside me, wrapping his arm tighter around my stomach, pulling me closer to him. Oh yeah, it was real. The memories and images of the night before flow through my mind and my chest constricts just thinking of how good he felt and how sweet and gentle he had been with me. I bite my lower lip, remembering how my whole body shook with pleasure and how we fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

  He shifts again and, when he removes his arm from around my waist, I’m tempted to pull it back, not liking the emptiness it leaves behind. His arm doesn’t go far, though, as he slowly trails his hand, starting at my hip, then running along my ribs, up to my shoulders, and then back down. He repeats this path a few times and my eyes fall closed; enjoying the feeling and what it’s doing to me.

  “Did you sleep well?” I ask after a long minute.

  “I slept better than I have in—” He pauses and kisses my shoulder. “I can’t remember the last time I slept this well.”

  “Yeah, me either,” I sigh, leaning my head back, welcoming his kisses that continue up my neck, knowing we aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

  ❧

  “I’m starving,” I say, tracing designs across Carter’s chest.

  He laughs and I can feel the vibration in his chest. “I’ve been hungry since we woke up, I just didn’t want to move.”

  “Yeah, it is pretty nice here, isn’t it?” I sigh heavily. “I’m not sure if we have anything that’s edible, we may be forced to go out.”

  “Well, we’ll have to find something because going out will entail getting dressed and I’m not quite ready for you to do that just yet.”

  A smile breaks across my lips.
<
br />   I search the pantry while Carter hunts for something in the refrigerator. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much junk food in an enclosed space before.”

  Laughing, I turn my head towards him, remembering the junk food binge Jenna and I had gone on before she left last night.

  “Were the two of you trying to overdose on sugar or something?” he asks, looking to me and then back to the fridge.

  “Something like that.” I laugh and then make my way over to him. “This,” I say, reaching in and grabbing the cake pan, “is amazing.”

  “So, we’re having cake for breakfast?” he asks, smiling.

  “Chocolate cake with strawberry icing to be exact.”

  I cut us each a piece and we stand in the kitchen, each of us leaning against opposite counters, facing each other.

  “Man, who knew cake could taste so good for breakfast.”

  “Well, it’s almost one in the afternoon, so technically it’s lunch.” I shove another large bite into my mouth. “We’ll have to remember to thank Jenna for this later.”

  “Hey, you’ve got something—” He uses his finger to point to a spot on the corner of his mouth.

  Reaching my tongue out, I try to find the icing or crumbs that seem to be lingering on my lips.

  “No. It’s still there.” He takes a large step towards me. “Here, let me.” Using his finger he scoops up a glob of strawberry icing from his plate and then trails his finger across my bottom lip, smearing it. He leans in, taking my bottom lip in his, massages it with his tongue, sucking all the icing off... and leaving me breathless. “Got it.” He pulls back, smiling.