~~~
Adara drove with one hand quivering on the wheel, the other hand wiping at the rush of tears that continued to block her vision. She steered the car to the side of the road in order to collect herself. She felt she might be sick. Sully’s repulsive words were churning in the pit of her stomach. She choked on emotions thick and acrid oozing down her throat. He had stolen her last shred of hope and dignity.
With eyes still unfocused, she caught a flash of movement among the trees. Sunlight illuminated the sparse patches of forest floor. It was a maze of light and shade. There, among the play of daylight, she spied the flowing of a white, diaphanous garment—the hem of a small girl’s dress. Rubbing her eyes, Adara spotted the edges of a green ribbon waving in the breeze like a tiny sail attached to a head of red hair. She blinked and saw a child running into the woods.
Stepping out of her car, she heard a little girl’s laughter and whispers, like that of a group of children passing round a secret in the school room. Their voices sounded faint and feathery, their suppressed giggles suspended in the morning breeze. With mounting curiosity, Adara followed after the voices, moving deeper into the glen.
Running at a good clip, sweat, not tears, now obscured her view. The last bit of white and red wove its way through the green of the trees.
“Wait!” she called out breathless. “Please, wait!”
The laughter coasted further and further away. Woozy from hunger and emotion, Adara bent over, clutching her knees. Her mind must have been playing tricks on her. It had been one of the worst mornings of her life. Why shouldn’t she also be having visions of wood fairies to top things off, she considered, as she took in deep gulps of air. The crisp taste of nature soothed her.
Looking down, her eyes rested on a patch of wet leaves. Their color was striking—the rusty brown dotted with red drops, like an artist’s brush had leaked its crimson contents onto the foliage. Underneath the leaves, something glistened as the sun’s rays stretched down from the indigo body of the sky. Picking up a leaf and bringing it to her nose, the musk of wood and peat tickled her senses. But when she touched it, the red attached itself to her finger. Blood! Covering her mouth, fearful of her stomach threatening to wretch, her eyes fell upon the object the leaf had been hiding. Adara could hardly believe that here, in this forgotten place, someone had left behind the most superb diamond ring she had ever seen. She held it up towards the light, its sparkle catching each and every hue of the color spectrum.
“Oh, God,” Adara gasped, as the light momentarily blinded her. She crushed the blood stained leaf in her hand as the missing early morning hours inundated her consciousness. It was a terrifying dream in which she had secretly followed Sully into the darkness of the wood, and seen him engaged in a conflict with a powerful, female adversary. She had seen blood flow, and had shuddered at the vague recollection upon waking. But now she realized the truth. Sully had tried to deny it, but what she had been privy to was not a dream, but a cogent recollection of a real event.
I’ll give you clear cut proof of my sincerity, the woman was saying to Sully, as she sliced into his wrist with a blade. Ciar, Sully had called the woman. Ciar. Adara could see him staggering back, his blood dripping onto the leaves.
“Oh, Sully, No!” Adara cried, as the memory unfolded.
Denounce Adara. Send her away. Tell her you do not now, nor will ever, love her. Ciar had demanded of him.
The look of torment on Sully’s exhausted face was as obvious as the morning light. Adara had wanted to run to him then, but she was petrified of the sinister woman.
When Adara opened her eyes the woods were hushed, save for her own voice shouting into the dawn. “You love Gillean!”
The flecks of crushed leaf fell from her hand, Sully’s blood clinging to her palm. She groped around for the diamond she had dropped in her distress. Locating it by its sheen, she scooped it up and placed it in her pocket. She looked once more to the awning of trees, where she saw a wisp of red trailing in the wind. And then she heard the voice of the young girl. The words were whispered, but unmistakable as the jewel she held.
“Be a dancer!”
She ran to her car. The tires kicked up a monstrous cloud of dirt as she shifted into reverse and headed back towards Charlie’s cottage.
Everything was made known to her now. It was as if someone had handed her a key to a door deep within the bowels of the Teach na Si`, a door to a room where all that connected Gillean and Sully was stored. Love had unlocked it. The burdensome contents contained within tumbled forth.
~~~
The fat tabby dozed in Sully’s lap who was asleep in the rocker by the stove. He woke to the sound of Adara removing her mud-caked shoes by the door. Walking on the tips of her toes, like the dancer she was, she knelt down beside him. He silently regarded her as she reached out and took his left hand into hers. Pushing back the sleeve, tiny droplets of blood had stained the white cuff. His wrist bore a scar about four inches long, the proof of Ciar’s demand of a blood promise to secure the safety of the Faraday family. “So you wanted to save us.” Her attitude was one of pity.
He believed he was hallucinating. “You came back?”
“Did you think I was so easily rid of?”
“What are ya doin’ here?” His voice was raspy with sleep and spent emotion.
“I know what happened between you and Ciar this morning.”
He sat up. The ornery cat resettled himself on the windowsill while Adara waited for his reply. Sully stared at the woman he thought he would never lay eyes on again. “How could you know about her?” he finally asked.
“Let’s just say I had the help of some fey in remembering what I saw and heard earlier.” She traced her finger over his scar.
He sighed. “Then you know how I feel about Gillean.”
“Yes. And I suspect he feels the same for you. He’s just too afraid to admit it.”
He wanted to put his scarred hand to her cheek. He wanted some way to show his contrition in ever having hurt her. “I’m sorry I lied to ya. I’m so sorry.” He kept still.
“You had your reasons.” She walked to the window and stroked the mewing cat. “It’s like you said, there are forces greater than you and I, forces of good and evil.”
“Which am I?”
“I don’t hate you, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if ya did.” He got to his feet. “I’d like to tell ya the whole truth.”
“It doesn’t much matter now.” She watched the sparrows flitting in the grass.
“Adara, please.”
She turned to him. “Why?” Her eyes disclosed a strength he had not seen before. “Are you so troubled about Gillean? The sum of your sins is that you are guilty of loving him. What power could punish you for that?”
“My sins are much greater than simply loving someone. Maybe I should be punished. I do know that punishment is administered by Ciar. And she has no love in her. She almost killed Gillean.” He intended to give her the full story, hoping his offering would bring her some comfort.
“What do you mean she almost killed Gillean?”
“That is how I burned me hands—trying to save him from her. I made a deal with Ciar then as well. That’s why Gillean doesn’t remember me. He isn’t purposefully denying me as you said. He had no control over any of it. She demanded it to be so in order for him to live.”
The light of growing comprehension grew in Adara’s eyes. “That’s why you are no longer a supernatural being, but a human—because you wanted to save Gillean. Is that the bridge you weren’t supposed to cross?”
Sully turned his back to her, not wanting to relive the night he had failed Gillean. “I wasn’t supposed to let any of this happen. Cross a bridge, ya say?” He laughed bitterly. “Well hell, I blasted it to bits.”
“Right, and now you’re going to tell me that Gillean had no control over being with her in the first place. She held a gun to his head, did she?” Adara’s voice wa
s filled with the well-known disdain for her errant husband. She crossed in front of him. “I know you care for him, that you two are connected in spirit. But I know Gillean Faraday—the man—better than anyone. I’ll bet my own soul that he gave himself to Ciar because he is a coward.”
He said nothing, remembering the unadulterated anger, not the unconditional love of an angel he had felt upon finding Gillean all too ready to give himself to Ciar.
Adara kept at him. “You persist in thinking about the situation in terms of what you did wrong, what you could have prevented. Don’t you get it? She went after Gillean because she knows his true nature, and yours.” She pointed to herself. “And she read me like a book as well.”
“You’re not to blame for any of this,” he asserted with veracity.
“Why did you come to my home? Did you simply want to be near Gillean through me?”
“No! I never meant to use you. I don’t know…” He sat at the table feeling useless and tired. “I was such a fool. When I saw ya, I thought I could make a difference.” He laughed at his naiveté. “I sure as hell made a significant difference, didn’t I?”
“What did you see when you looked at me?”
“I saw the power ya possess. Underneath the years of snow and ash, I saw roses. I wanted you to see them too. I care for ya, Adara. I always will, but ya don’t know Ciar as I do. I did what I thought was right. I wish to God ya could know that I never wanted to deceive ya.”
“You did help me. I found something of value underneath the ashes.” Her voice held no resentment. “You should go to Gillean and speak with him. Make sure he understands the consequences of the choices he has made. Maybe now he’ll be ready to hear you, as I have.”
He lowered his head. “I can’t break me word. Ya know what that would mean for yer family. Gillean will have to find his own way. I only hope he does so with as much grace as you have.”
“To hell with grace and extorted promises!” She pulled out the chair next to him and leaned into the table. “Ciar isn’t going to demand a damn thing of anyone any more. Her power feeds off the vulnerability of others. I know exactly what she is about and how she operates. I have the advantage because of you. She won’t have the chance to even breathe the same air as my children.” Her stance was that of a lioness protecting her cubs. “We’ll manage just fine.”
“I know ya will. Can ya forgive me?”
“I believe you did what you thought was right.” Her fingers rested briefly on his wrist. “Give me some time to accept that is what ‘tis.”
“Watch over them, I beg you,” he asked of the boundless sky, as she pulled away.
Surely the mother of such infinite beauty would identify with a woman wanting only to keep her children safe. The silky billows of white clouds were the gentle pillows on which the stars, the children of the heavens, could rest and ride protected from harm. Nature’s predictable rhythm gave him some sense of hope. He tried to reconcile the sad corner of his spirit where an image of Gillean kicked about like a restless child.
He headed back into the cabin, wishing for Charlie and his homespun guidance. Adara had informed Sully he would be able to catch up with Gillean on the second night of his Cork tour. Gillean was set to play the next two nights at The Stars and Ploughshares Theatre.
He was grateful for her generosity, but he was done with defying ‘the powers that be’. He had hurt enough people for a thousand lifetimes.
See Me
No sooner had Gillean stepped from the private plane into the airport catering to Ireland’s elite, than his mobile rang. He thought it would be Adara, since he had just left a message on their answering machine saying he would be home within the hour. He’d thought it odd that nobody had picked up at his prodding while he spoke on the tape. “Oh well,” he’d concluded his message. “Perhaps you are all out having a good time without the old man. I still look forward to seeing you, my dears.”
He answered the mobile with lifted spirits.
“Did you forget about the show you have tonight in Cork?” The voice of his irate manager, Noel, shattered Gillean’s hopeful mood.
Gillean held the phone away from his ear taking deep breaths before speaking. “Noooo…” he drew out the response. “But I would like to spend some time with my family before the show if that meets with your approval.”
“What a load of crap!” Noel snapped. “Your family is scattered like the wind. Don’t pretend you know what’s going on in your home. It’s me, Noel. I’ve known you for over twenty years. And you will get your little musical ass to Cork now, even if I have to drag you there myself.”
“What do you mean my family is scattered?” Gillean stopped his mad pace and found a quiet corner of the airport to continue the conversation.
“I’m told that your wife has been gone for two days. Mags and Jos have been carting your children round to all their activities. No one there needs you right now.”
“Where is Adara?” Gillean couldn’t decide if it was apprehension or anger he felt.
“Seems as if only Arlen knows the answer, and he’s not offering up the information. Guess he feels protecting his mother’s trust is of the utmost importance.”
“Protecting his mother from whom? Me?” Gillean barked. “I wasn’t aware my family was at war with one another.”
“You aren’t aware of much, old boy. But then again, how could you be when you’ve got your head buried in the chest of that artist.”
“Go to hell, Noel!”
“Fine, I’ll arrange for that, right after I get you to Cork. I’ve got a car and driver waiting outside the airport. So don’t even think about running. After all, you’re Gillean Faraday. You can’t disappoint your fans. I’m here to make sure of that. Believe me, you’ll thank me in the morning.”
Gillean abruptly hung up, knowing full well there was no escaping Noel. He would have to go to Cork and play—play his music and play the part of the charming, happy-go-lucky Irish bard. The thought made his stomach turn. Adara was gone and his own son was protecting his wife’s secret. How had he lost the unity of his family?
Noel’s words jabbed at him. He hadn’t lost it, he had driven away each of them—Adara, Arlen, even his wee ones—by his own selfishness. They were all wiser now, not so willing to believe their da and provider was magic and could make all the bad things disappear by his say so. They had pulled down the curtain, seeing him for who he really was—a man with more vices than virtues. But he still loved them. Could they see that too? Or did they simply see a lying, desperate stranger, one who had broken their trust too many times?
Following his manager’s demand, Gillean allowed himself to be driven to Cork, arriving a little over two hours prior to show time. He dismissed the driver, giving him the best gratuity he had ever received. He did not want to be bound by anyone else waiting on him. He was promptly ushered into the dressing room by the domineering Noel. Gillean was close to a total break down.
“Look.” Noel put his hands firmly on Gillean’s shoulders. “All you have to do is get through tonight, O.K.? I’ll do my best to help you sort out things with your family after, I promise.”
“My family is none of your business, Noel,” Gillean retorted, irritably turning away from him.
Gillean and Noel had been through the dirt and the glory over the years. Noel was known as ‘the gardener’.
“It’s all good, man,” Gillean’s manager reassured him, in his street-smart Londoner way. “Just stay cool.”
Noel left Gillean to prepare for his sound check.
Gillean stared into the mirror encircled with white lights. The illuminated bulbs enabled him to see each and every line in his face, the purple circles under his tired eyes, and his exhausted expression. He had seen this face before, had come to view himself in the cold, hard light of reality—but when? Where? The distant whistle of a train issued a long, lonely call inside his head. The sound had always brought him comfort. The drawn out, distinct pitch conjured up all kinds o
f images of faraway, unexplored places. Now he feared for the unexplored places in his own aching heart. The echo faded, but the loneliness intensified.
Ciar’s flawless face came to mind. She was still shielded by the temporary armor of youth. She had looked upon him as an artist, able to turn a blind eye to his age, his short fallings and his marriage. But she demanded so much in return—too much. His wife had loved him in a different way. Her body had gone through hell to bless him four times with children. Gillean hung his head in disgrace, remembering how he had walked out on Adara. He hadn’t even bothered to sit and talk with his children to explain why he was vacating their home. He had heaped it all on Adara’s frail shoulders. No doubt she was ready to rid herself of her unreliable, self-centered husband. Was it for this unknown man, Sully?
A knock at the door ended his musings.
“Can’t you give me at least five minutes alone, Noel?” Gillean called out without opening the door.
She let herself in, striding up to him with confidence and kissing him full on the mouth. “Hello, darling. Isn’t Ireland lovely this time of year?”
He tripped over the carpet to get away from her. “I thought I explained that you and I are finished. You can’t be so desperate as to make a fool of yourself over me.”
The emptiness of human feeling in her expression made his blood turn cold. “You’re the only fool here, little Gilly.” She nonchalantly fingered a flower arrangement from an adoring fan. “All those people who come to see you, to hear you. They have no clue as to who you are. They think you are some sort of hero.”
“Ciar, please…” He raised a protesting hand to cut her off.
She pulled the flower from a red rose, leaving the headless stem in the vase. “He loves you…” She began to tear the petals one by one, dropping them to the floor. “He loves you, not!” She ripped several petals and tossed them in his direction. “Sully…” She came towards him. “…loves…” She pinned him against the wall. “…Adara!”
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