The only way I’ll be able to forget about her is to sell this place and move on, but every time I think about putting it up on the market, something holds me back. Maybe I’m starting to feel at home here, or maybe I’m just waiting for Jess to come back.
One Tuesday morning, the sun is shining and I’m sweeping the wide front porch of the hotel.
“Owen!” I hear as someone walks down the sidewalk towards me. It’s Sam, Jess’s childhood friend. She’s got long brown hair, stick straight, tied into a low pony tail. She walks up and gives me a warm smile.
“Hi, Sam, beautiful day, isn’t it?”
“Gorgeous,” she says, staring off into the sky. She turns back towards me. “Hey, Owen, I was wondering if I could ask you something.”
I stand up a bit straighter and nod, waiting for her to speak.
“Well, I’m getting married in four weeks, and I was planning on having the reception at my mother’s house.”
I nod, and she continues.
“Well,” she says, turning her palms up towards the sky, “Ronnie’s family have decided to invite themselves, and you know I can’t say no. We don’t have room for all those people.”
“Right,” I answer slowly.
“Now I know it’s the fourth of July, and you’ll be busy here, but I was wondering if there was any way we could use the Lex as our reception hall? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. We’ll pay you, of course.”
I smile and nod. “Of course, Sam. I didn’t have anything big planned, I hadn’t booked a band yet or anything. The whole town was going to be at your wedding anyways, so this might work out for the both of us,” I laugh.
Sam chuckles. “I figured that,” she says with a grin. “Well, that’s a relief. I’ll come by tomorrow with the details and we can sort it out, if that works for you?”
“Sure thing,” I reply. She smiles at me and walks on towards the corner store. I watch her go inside and hear the little bell jingle before I let out a sigh.
That means Jess will be here. She’s the maid of honour, of course she’ll be here. I wonder if there’s any way I can avoid the wedding? Maybe I can put Joe in charge of it, and I can take the day off and go do a trip somewhere.
I glance back towards the bar and take a deep breath.
Don’t be ridiculous.
I’m an adult. Jess and I had a fling, it lasted a week. Her best friend is getting married and I happen to own the hotel in town. This doesn’t have to be a bit deal. It’s not a big deal! She’ll probably be so busy with Sam that I won’t even see her at all.
This is fine. This is completely fine.
I brush the broom back and forth a little bit harder. It scrapes against the old wood porch, back and forth, until the sweat starts dripping off my face. I stand up and take a deep breath, wiping my forearm across my forehead.
This is fine. This is completely, totally fine.
Chapter 39 - Jess
I don’t think about Owen so much anymore. The first couple weeks were hard but now, after almost two months, I’m pretty much back to normal. It was a fling - sort of like a summer romance, except in the spring. It burned hot and then fizzled and then I moved on.
That’s what I tell myself, anyways.
I tuck my hair behind my ear before walking into our regular brunch restaurant. I can see Harper and Rosie through the window, looking at the menus even though I know we’re all going to order the same thing as usual. Waffles for me, eggs benedict for Harper, and a big stack of pancakes for Rosie. Even though they’re married with kids, at least some things don’t change.
“Jess!” Rosie calls out with a smile. “You ready for the big day?”
I laugh. “Always a bridesmaid. Or whatever.”
“So you leave tomorrow?” Harper asks, closing the menu and taking a sip of coffee.
“Yep, tomorrow.”
“And have you spoken to Owen?”
I shake my head. “Not since he accused me of sleeping around.”
Rosie and Harper nod in unison. I open the menu up and scan the food just to avoid their stare.
“So, are you nervous?” Rosie asks slowly. I glance up and see her looking at me expectantly.
I shrug. “About the wedding? No.”
“No,” Rosie chuckles. “About seeing Owen.”
“Right. Umm. No, not nervous.”
They both laugh as I shake my head vigorously. “Not nervous at all?” Harper asks.
“Ok, fine,” I answer with a smile, closing my menu up. “Maybe a little nervous. I can’t help it! The last time we spoke I hung up on him and deleted his number.
“Didn’t you say that the reception was moved to the hotel?” Rosie asks with a frown
“Yeah.” I remember how my stomach dropped when Sam called to tell me that. “Look, for all I know he’s sold the hotel and moved away. I don’t even know if I’ll see him.”
“What are you going to do if you do see him?” Harper asks. “Are you going to sleep with him?”
“What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?” I say with a laugh. “I thought I was getting breakfast here, not an interrogation.”
They both laugh and sit back. “Fine,” says Rosie. “Sorry.”
The waitress walks up to our table with a smile. “Morning, ladies. The usual?
“Yep!” The three of us answer. The waitress looks at me and tilts her head to the side.
“Jess. You look absolutely glowing this morning! Do you have a new skincare routine? Where can I get what you have!”
“Aw, thanks Meg. Nope, nothing new. I have been trying to drink more water, maybe that’s made a difference.”
“I’ll have to try that,” she answers with a wink.
Harper looks at me curiously. “You do look like you’re glowing. Maybe you’re looking forward to rekindling your romance with the felon.”
Rosie laughs. “Did you even delete his number? What are you hiding from us?”
“You guys are relentless,” I say with a laugh. “Why can’t it just be that I’m drinking more water? Isn’t that a great reason for my skin to look good? I got a new moisturiser as well.”
“Mmm,” Rosie says as she narrows her eyes. “But there’s skin looking good and then there’s a glow. That comes from within, and it’s not because of water or cream.”
“Well, whatever,” I say. “How are the kids?”
My two friends lean back and start talking about their children. Usually I’d zone out at this point, but today I’m interested. I like hearing about what they said, or how they’re walking, or the funny things they’re doing.
Before I know it, steaming plates of food are being dropped off at the table. My usual stack of waffles comes piled high with strawberries and whipped cream. They look exactly the same as every other time I’ve ordered them, but this time when the sweet, doughy odour hits my nose, it makes my stomach churn.
I take one look at the waffles and put my hand to my mouth.
“Excuse me,” I say without looking at the girls.
In a moment I’m sprinting through the restaurant towards the bathrooms. I smash through the door and thankfully find the first stall free. My stomach heaves and I throw up. The bile burns my throat as it comes up my oesophagus and soon I’m panting, leaning against the toilet as my eyes water and I try to recover.
“Jesus, Jess,” Rosie’s voice says. I turn to see her concerned face behind me. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine,” I say, wiping my mouth and heading to the sink to rinse it out with water. “Just been feeling a bit under the weather the past little while.”
We walk back to the table in silence and sit down. The plate of waffles is still sitting untouched, and I feel my stomach churn again in warning. I push the plate away from me and take a long drink of water. When I put the glass down I see Harper and Rosie exchange a glance.
“How long has this been going on?” Rosie asks slowly.
I shrug. “i don’t know. A couple weeks?”
“A couple weeks?!” Harper answers, her eyebrows shooting up towards her hairline.
I shrug again. “Yeah. It’s no big deal, it usually passes in a few minutes and then I’m fine the rest of the day.”
They look at each other again and I sigh. “What? Why are you guys looking at each other like that? What’s going on?”
“Jess,” Rosie says slowly, swinging her eyes towards me. “When was the last time you got your period?”
“I, uh.. a couple weeks ago. Wait, no. I’m…” I trail off. “I don’t know. I can’t remember.”
“Is there any chance…” Harper starts slowly and looks at Rosie again. “Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
“No,” I answer quickly. “No! Definitely not. I haven’t even had sex in two months! I’ve told you I’m having a dry spell.”
“Right, but two months…”
The two of them look at me with concern drawn over their faces. I look down at my plate of waffles and gulp as I look back at them.
“How…” I shake my head. “No. It’s not possible! How could that be possible?”
“Let’s go to the pharmacy after breakfast,” Rosie says. She turns to her pancakes and stabs them with a fork. Her voice sounds almost too casual when she speaks again. “We can pick up a test and just be sure. You’re probably not pregnant, but it doesn’t hurt to take a test.”
“Yeah,” Harper adds. “Just in case.”
“Guys, I know you both got pregnant unexpectedly, but that doesn’t mean it’s a normal thing to happen. We used protection! We were careful!”
“So were we,” Rosie says gently.
“Us too,” Harper adds. “Let’s just get the test.”
I gulp and finally cut off a tiny bit of my waffles. “Fine,” I say, bringing the food to my mouth. “But I don’t really see the point.”
Even as the words leave my mouth, I know that I don’t believe them. Something in the way Rosie and Harper are looking at me tells me they already know what the test is going to show.
Chapter 40 - Owen
Sam takes a deep breath and looks at the stack of tablecloths and boxes of streamers and centrepieces in the storage room.
“That should be everything,” she says with a sigh.
I shut the door and lock it before putting the keys back in my pocket. “Great. What time did you say you’d be back tomorrow morning to start setting up?”
“My brother and a few others will be over around 8am.”
“I’ll have the beers ready,” I answer with a smile.
She laughs. “Just wait a couple hours, please. I’d like them to remember my wedding and for it to not get too messy.”
“If you insist,” I answer with a grin.
She thanks me and heads out the front entrance. I watch her leave and turn back towards the closed storage room door. In 24 hours, Jess will be here, sitting at one of those tables. My heart starts to beat a bit faster and I almost jump out of my skin when my phone rings. I look at the screen and frown.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi honey,” she says. She sounds almost too friendly. “How’s my favourite son doing?”
“I’m fine, mom. What’s up?” She never calls me just to chat. There’s always a reason or a request or a demand. Ever since my father got convicted of fraud, she’s been particularly ruthless.
“When are you going to finish up with your little country project?” She asks.
“It’s not a little country project, mom,” I sigh. “I’ve renovated an entire hotel and started turning a profit within the first six four of re-opening.”
“Of course you did, honey, and that’s why I’m so proud of you.”
I grunt in response and wait for her to tell me why she’s calling.
“Your father wants you to come back to New York,” she finally says.
“My father doesn’t have control over where I go, and if my father wants me to come back why didn’t he call me himself?”
“Oh, you know how busy he is with the trial and everything. Listen. You get a manager in because we need you at the company.”
“I told you, mom, I’m not working for the company any more. I won’t be involved in it. I didn’t know what kind of business you guys were doing, and I can’t believe I didn’t get convicted of anything. I won’t be associated with it.”
My heart is pounding and I know my voice sounds harsh. I can almost feel a wave of cold come through the phone with my mother’s voice.
“Don’t you forget where you came from, and who paid for that little hotel you’re working in. Don’t forget who made you what you are. You will come back, and you will work for your father. We need a clean name to put the new businesses to.”
“Oh, right, so you just want to use me to start up some other fucking sham of a business, except this time it’ll be me who takes the fall if you get caught, is that it?”
There’s no noise on the other end of the phone except for my mother’s heavy breathing. She says nothing until I hear a click and the line goes dead. My heart is thumping in my chest as I look at the blank phone.
That’s the first time I’ve stood up to her like that. I know how deep her anger runs, and I know I’ll be in her bad books for a while but right now I just don’t care. There’s a wedding here tomorrow, the hotel is as busy as ever, and in less than twenty-four hours I’ll be seeing the one woman that’s been stuck in my mind for the past two months.
I take a deep breath and head up the stairs towards my room. I toss my phone down on the table and turn towards my dresser. I pull open the bottom drawer and take out a stack of files, putting them on the table next to my phone and opening them up.
I flick open the top file and run my eyes over the pages, flicking through them quickly. It’s all still here. Every one of the transactions, every one of the false companies and inflated charges. The prosecution doesn’t have any of this, and with one email I could destroy him. I only found these documents when I was clearing out my office and filing everything before I left, but it’s all here. Every crime, in black and white.
I take a deep breath and close the files up again, sticking them under my arm. There’s a big scanner in the office downstairs. I head down and take out a little black USB thumb drive. I stick it into my computer, and one by one, I start copying the files onto the device. Every time a file copies over, my heart thumps a bit harder in my chest.
When everything is done, I look at the little yellow folder on the screen. I right click the folder and type in a password for extra protection. I stick the paper files back in their folder and jog up the stairs to store them safely in the bottom drawer. The USB drive goes onto my key ring and I slide it into my pocket, tapping the keys with my hand as I try to slow my heartbeat down.
These files were always supposed to be a safety net when I left New York, in case I was accused of anything else. I always told myself I’d never use them, that I’d protect my parents with my life. But now, I’m starting to realise that they don’t feel the same way about me. If my mother decides to make me the scapegoat for their next scummy business, I might have to turn against my own family.
Chapter 41 - Jess
I’m numb. The whole trip from New York to Lexington is a blur, because all I can think about is the two little blue lines on the six different pregnancy tests I’ve taken since breakfast yesterday.
At first I was in denial. I couldn’t believe it. By the fourth pregnancy test I started getting angry. Now, as I make my way up the path to Gram’s house, I just feel empty.
I’m pregnant.
For the second time in my life, I’ve gotten pregnant by accident. For the second time in my life, I’m completely alone for it.
When this happened when I was a teenager, I was confused and terrified and ashamed. Now I’m confused and terrified but I’m not ashamed. I can already feel my love growing for the baby,
and something else is growing inside me. It feels like fierceness or determination, or just a singular focus to give this baby the best life it could possibly have. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I know I will.
Gram opens the door and wraps me in a hug, and I still feel numb except for that tiny fire burning inside me.
“You didn’t have to stay up, Gram,” I say. “You should have gone to bed.”
“Don’t be silly, Jessica,” she answers. “It’s only nine o’clock.”
She’s wearing her dressing gown as she helps me into the house. I head upstairs to my room and say goodnight to Gram. She hugs me in the doorway and I melt into her arms. Right now, I wish I was still a little girl and she could wrap her arms around me and make it all better. She pulls away and strokes her finger along my cheek.
“Beautiful girl,” she says softly. “You know I love you with all my heart, right?”
I force a smile. “Of course, Gram. I love you too.”
“I just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy,” I respond softly. It sounds fake even to my ears. Gram nods slowly and smiles. Her wrinkles look even deeper than last time, and her eyes are just a little bit cloudy. She takes a deep breath and smiles again.
“Ok. See you tomorrow.” She turns towards her room and I close the door and fall onto my bed, staring at the ceiling.
It seems like I always end up here, in this room, staring at the same ceiling and thinking about my whole world being turned upside down. Now, for the second time, I’m wondering how I ended up pregnant and single.
Are you going to tell him?
Harper’s question rings in my ears and I try to remember the details of Owen’s face. The thought of seeing him after not speaking for two months makes me more nervous than I want to admit. The thought of seeing him and telling him that I’m pregnant with his child is completely terrifying.
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