Bang Up: Prison walls don't just keep criminals in, the keep the outside world at bay

by Karen Woods

  “For fucks sake Potter, are you going to sit like that all night long, get your head down? Listen, I’ll tell you straight, the first few weeks are going to be hard but once you get used to the swing of it you’ll be sorted. I’ve told you already I’ve got your back, so you’ve got fuck all to worry about. Just keep your head down and this sentence will be like a walk in the park for you. How long did you get slammed for anyway?”

  Potter lifted his legs up onto the bed and lay back slowly. His eyes were wide open and reality was hitting home. “I got twelve months. I’m lucky really I could have got three years my solicitor said.”

  Mikey dragged the thin grey blanket over his body and tucked it under his chin. “That’s a baby sentence, you’ll only do half of that anyway so six months you’re in for. If you’re lucky you might even get out before that date on a tag, you know, an electronic device?”

  Christian flexed his fingers on his chest and turned to face Mikey. “Thanks for helping me out. I don’t know what I’d have done if they would have put me in a pad with someone else. I’m not very good at mixing with other people. I’m a loner really.”

  Mikey turned on his side and faced the wall. His eyes were still wide open. He was ready for some shut eye and any second now he would be dead to the world in a deep sleep. “No worries. Now, get your head down and get some sleep, you fucking fairy. Tomorrow is another day. Let’s see what these bastards have planned for us.”

  “Night Mikey,” Christian whispered.

  “Shut up and get to sleep, “Mikey sniggered back over to him.

  *

  Brendan Mellor sat alone in his cell. The cold brick walls seemed like they were closing in on him. Shivering at the small window he sucked in the night air from outside. He wasn’t coping well and hated being alone at night. He was weak and full of anxiety. Brendan ran to his cell door and he banged his clenched fist into it desperately. “I can’t do this, please, somebody help me. I’m dying here, I can’t breathe.” He was hysterical, he was having a panic attack. The screws on duty that night could hear the inmate from behind his door. It was something normal that happened on the induction wing. Smithy had seen even the strongest of men fold once the door was locked behind them at night, so he was used to it. He was about to stand up to go and give Brendan a bit of comfort when Mark grabbed his arm to sit back down. “I was just going to see if he was alright. For fucks sake Mark, he’s only a young kid. Have a bit of heart will you?”

  Mark let go of his arm and sneered. He shouted behind his workmate as he approached the cell door. “This is a prison, not a fucking nursery, remember that. Leave the tosser to it.”

  Smithy shook his head and started to open the cell door. He couldn’t be arsed with the drama anymore. He was telling him straight, he was doing his head in. He shouted back to him. “Stop being an inconsiderate prick. This image you’re trying to portray of yourself isn’t working anymore. What the hell has got into you? You’re like a raging bull.”

  The cell door was opened now and Brendan fell to his knees gasping for breath. “I want to go home, please let me go home. I want my mam, please just get my mam.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Rachel was rolling a cigarette at her kitchen table. The tobacco smelt like camel shit, it was cheap, nasty stuff that she’d picked up cheap down the local market. You could always get a bargain on Conran Street if you were in the know: dodgy CDs, snide trainers - they were all up for grabs if you knew who to ask. Rachel was edgy and had something on her mind, she stood up and then sat back down – she was on pins. She began sucking in large mouthfuls of air and stood biting her fingernails. “Gary, we need to book a visit and get a parcel sorted out for our Mikey as soon as possible. And,” she stressed, “I mean quick, he’s got fuck all in that place and he needs to get back on his feet.”

  Gary turned his head slowly and yawned with his hands over his head. All of a sudden this kid of hers was God and she was running around like a headless chicken after him. Usually, she was cursing him and wishing that he never came home. Now Gary had to tread on eggshells. He knew one wrong word against the Holy child and he would have been binned. He’d bad mouthed Mikey in the past and to this day she was still reminding him about how much he hurt her feelings. Rachel never forgot anything, ‘you forgive but you don’t forget’ she always said.

  “Sort him out with what? We’re skint, love. Fuck all is happening in terms of graft so I don’t know what you expect me to do. Money doesn’t grow on trees you know?”

  “I know we’re on our arse but we need to do something. We can’t just leave him to rot in there can we?” Rachel folded her arms tightly across her chest and continued. “He’s bunged us enough times in the past and it’s down to us to make sure he’s sorted while he’s in the slammer,” she smiled and tried to make light of the matter. “He only needs a few bags of spice to get started. A bit of white and brown and he’ll make his money back in weeks. You know what it’s like to have fuck all in jail so instead of being negative you need to start coming up with some ideas.”

  This woman was actually talking about her own flesh and blood dealing in heroin and cocaine, did she have no shame? What kind of mother would ever be involved in anything like this? Gary sat tickling the end of his chin, thinking. He’d been in the big house before and knew more than anybody how it all worked but money was short and like he’d already said, they were both on their arses.

  Rachel and Gary lived from hand to mouth every day and they’d already spent their jobseekers allowance. He looked over at Rachel and reached over to touch her hand. He licked his lips slowly and held a cunning look in his eyes. “What about his stash?” before he could finish his sentence Rachel jumped down the back of his throat and rammed a finger into the side of his head.

  “Don’t you dare mention that money again! That’s his nest egg for when he’s out and if anyone gets a whiff of it we’re all dead meat. Just keep your big trap shut. Nobody must know about it, ever.” Rachel stood up and popped a cigarette in the corner of her mouth. Flicking the lighter slowly she held her fag down towards the burning yellow flame. “Gary, I’m scared. It’s only a matter of time before they come looking for us. We’re his family and we’ll be first on the list. Davo is no fucking idiot and he’ll put us in a body bag if he ever finds out.”

  Gary was laid back and it was obvious he wasn’t taking this seriously. This wasn’t his beef and if the shit hit the fan he would drop Mikey in it at the drop of a hat. He was a coward. “Stop being daft, Rachel. Nobody knows about it except us. If we both keep it shut, it will still be there when Mikey gets out of nick. I’m just saying for now, borrow a few ton out of it and sort him out. We don’t have any other option do we?”

  He watched her from the corner of his eye and casually sat back down in his seat. Rachel paced the floor and sucked hard on her cigarette, cheeks sinking in at both sides. A thick grey cloud of smoke filled the living room as she looked over at him. She was angry and her defences were up. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you about the money. Mikey will go mad if he knows I’ve told you,” she rubbed at her arms and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She was fighting with her thoughts. “I had to tell somebody though, what if they come here, what if they find out I’m his mother?”

  Gary stood and cradled her in his arms. He was such a shady character and something about him was just not adding up. “I won’t tell a soul. For one, you’ve not even told me where the money is, have you? How much are we talking anyway, a grand, a few grand, how much?”

  Rachel pulled away from him and sat back down in her seat. She tapped her fingers slowly on the wooden table and kept her eyes low. “Ten grand. It’s a lot of money and we should never speak about it again. I’ll get the cash together for him, somehow, someway. I’ll make sure he’s alright in jail but there is no way I’m touching his money. No way in this world.” Her eyes started to cloud over and she dropped her head low. “I’ve never been a good mother to our Mikey, have I? An
d I blame myself for the way things have turned out with him. You know how it was when he was growing up. I let him down big time. If I could turn back time, I would. I’d have been a proper mother and done all the things I should have done for him.”

  Gary had heard this story over and over again. He was sick to death of hearing it... Rachel had let Mikey down in his life but what did that matter now? He was a grown man and he should have been able to fend for himself. The apron strings needed to be cut and as far as he was concerned, he wouldn’t have been arsed if he never saw her son again. Rachel snivelled and wiped the end of her nose on her jumper. “I need to see him. My mind’s all over the place at the moment. Do us a favour Gary, nip down to the shop and see if we can get a bottle of vodka on tick until next week. Mr Patel is usually alright with me when I’m a bit short. Just tell him what’s happened and he should be able to hook us up.”

  “Did you pay the tenner back you owed him from last week?”

  Rachel shook her head and ragged her fingers through her thin greasy hair. She raised her eyes to the ceiling and sighed. “Argghh… Did I fuck! I forgot all about it. What am I like? I had the money there to pay him back too. It just slipped my mind.” She was a lying cow and everybody who knew her - she was a full of shit. No loan man would touch her with a barge pole and even the neighbours had got wise to her now. Every night she was banging on a door for a bit of milk, a few rounds of bread, a cup of sugar - this woman had no shame.

  Gary rolled his eyes and stared over at her. It was pointless even going into it, she would always have an excuse to why she fucked up. “What about your mam then? Go and see if she’ll do us a sub until next week.”

  Rachel snarled at him and punched her clenched fist into the sofa, a cloud of dust rising into the air. “Have you actually just said that?” She was up in arms and on the verge of throwing something at his big thick head. Rachel had a violent temper just like her son and once she was in the zone there was no going back. She had bad rage issues and in the past she’d had help in trying to control it. Gary was dicing with death, he just loved winding her up.

  “Well, we don’t have another option do we, it’s either go and ask her for some money or we’re fucked?”

  Rachel’s voice was choked and her eyes were bulging out from the sockets. “What! And you think I’d go and ask that old cow for a single penny. I’d rather stick hot pins in my eyes than ask her for anything. Fancy even suggesting that, you dimwit!” Gary sat back in his seat and knew what was coming next. He was sorry he’d even opened his mouth. “As if she would help me out anyway. For years she’s just sat back and watched me struggle with our Mikey and never done a tap for any of us. I mean, what kind of mother watches her own daughter fall apart like I did and not offer to help out. An old battleaxe she is! I’ll spit on her grave when she’s six foot under! Just you wait and see! As far as I’m concerned, she’s dead anyway, fucking dead!”

  Gary started to read the newspaper and ignored her. She was pissing him off and he couldn’t be arsed with her drama anymore. She would never let sleeping dogs lie. On and on she droned, never letting up for a single second. Her voice went through him. “I have nobody me. I was always the black sheep of the family. She always treated me differently to the others. If our Cath turned up for a tenner she’d be bending all the rules for her she would. Yes, it’s always been different with me. She knows it and so do I.” Gary looked up at her and nodded. He had to agree with her, his life wouldn’t have been worth living if he said a single word in favour of Rachel’s mother.

  She looked at the clock on the wall and plonked down next to him running her thin fingers through his hair. Her dickey fit was nearly over. “Sarah said she was calling today. Perhaps she can lend us a few quid. I hate asking her though, she’s a right toffee-nosed bitch. She just makes me feel so low when I ask her. You know,” she raised her eyebrows. “She goes on like I’m below her or something. Like I’m begging.”

  Gary was sick to death of her now and tried putting her in her place. If she carried on like this he’d give her a back-hander, that usually worked for a short time. “Sarah has bunged you a right few quid in the past. She’s never batted an eyelid when you’ve asked her before, so stop lying. I like her, it’s just you getting on your high horse about her again. Face it, Rachel. You never think anyone’s ever good enough for your Mikey?”

  He was dicing with death now. This woman was a live-wire and any second now she could launch something at him. Rachel plonked back on the sofa and folded her arms tightly in front of her. She pointed over at him. “Whose bleeding side are you on here anyway, do you fancy her or something?”

  Gary stood his ground and looked her straight in the eyes. It was time for a few home truths. There was no way he was backing down. “Every girl Mikey has ever brought home, you’ve always had something to say about them. Face it, you’ll never be happy with any of them. You always find fault in any bird he brings home.”

  Rachel defended herself. “I liked Susan Tilly. She was right up my street she was. At least with her I knew exactly where I stood.”

  Gary burst out laughing and held the bottom of his stomach. “You mean the same Susan Tilly you said you were going to knock out after she called you a daft bitch one night?”

  Rachel pulled her face and flicked her hair back over her shoulder. “That was a misunderstanding, she was pissed and perhaps she was right in what she said. I should have kept my nose out of the argument. It was nothing to do with me really, it was between her and Mikey.” There was an awkward silence and Rachel spat her dummy out. She hated being wrong and snarled over at him. Gary carried on reading the newspaper sniggering to himself as he hid his face away from her. Game, set and match.

  Suddenly, Rachel jumped up from her seat as somebody hammered on the letterbox. She tiptoed to the hallway and stood with her back against the wall, her chest rising frantically. She’d been hiding from the loan men for months and every day they were trying to catch her at home. Gary was alert and already he was scrambling about on his hands and knees trying to locate the iron bar he always hid under the sofa. Anyone who knocked like this couldn’t be trusted; once bitten, twice shy. Gripping it tightly in his hands he made his way into the hallway behind his girlfriend. His voice was low. “Who is it?”

  Rachel swallowed hard and dipped her head around the corner, peeping. Her heart was in her mouth as she craned her neck. “Shut up big gob they’ll hear you.” She took a small step forward and let out a laboured breath. “I’ll fucking strangle her knocking like that,” she stressed. Rachel stormed towards the front door and unlocked the steel bolts from the top of it with shaking hands. Gary was edgy and held the bar up over his head, he was ready to strike, some cunt was getting this wrapped right over their head.

  Seeing who it was, Rachel stood with her hands on her hips and growled. “What the fuck are you knocking like that for? We thought it was the dibble.”

  Sarah stood with her hands in her pocket and her cheeks were beetroot. She’d been there for ages and thought they were both asleep. “Well, you never hear me unless I knock hard. At least five minutes I’ve been stood here. Are you deaf or what?”

  Rachel left the front door open and marched back into the living room in a strop. “False alarm Gary, it’s only Sarah.”

  Gary lowered the bar and watched as Sarah walked past him. She shrugged her shoulders slightly and raised a soft smile at him. “Sorry, I just thought you couldn’t hear me.”

  Gary shook his head and patted his hand on the top of her shoulder. His voice was quiet. “No worries, it’s just her overreacting as per usual.” Gary watched her enter the front room and he was definitely checking her arse out. A quick grab of his crotch and he followed behind her. Rachel flicked the TV on and sat down on the sofa. The room was well decorated and not what you might expect. Lime green curtains complimented a brown leather sofa. Big fluffy pillows were scattered over it and, in fairness, the place was clean. Mikey Milne loved a nice gaff. He
would never live in a shit-tip and he always made sure that when he’d had a good earner he always bought something nice for his house. Nothing was bought on tick either. He hated the never-never and even though his mother had suggested going to “Bright House” for credit he told her straight that he would pay cash for anything he bought. There was no way he was bumping any company for furniture, how degrading was that when they came to take it back when you couldn’t meet the payments? This was the only place Rachel had settled down in and he told her point-blank that she was staying here, no matter what. He was sick to death of moving about from pillar to post and when she signed the tenancy on this place he made sure his name was on it too. This was his base camp. All his belongings under one roof.