by Karen Woods
Sarah lifted her head and from the moment she set eyes on him her heart skipped a beat, she was breathless. She took a few seconds to speak. “It’s this bloody phone. I need to ring a taxi and of all times for this to happen, the battery has decided to go flat.”
Mikey pulled his own phone from his coat pocket and smiled over at her. “There you go, my lovely. You can use mine. Where are you going anyway?”
Sarah was shy and she’d not really had any interest from guys in the past. Her head was in her career and she had no time for them, they were more trouble than they were worth. Her future was way more important. “I live in Middleton. It’s not far from here but it’s too late for me to walk on my own at this time of the night. My dad will go ballistic if I did anyway. He’s funny like that.”
Mikey was never one to miss a chance to gain a new lady friend and he stepped up to the mark hoping he could be her knight in shining armour. “It’s a nice night if you fancy me walking you home. It will save you a few quid too.”
Sarah was gobsmacked, Mikey was so full of himself, she was stuck for words. “Would you really do that for me? You don’t even know me and I don’t know you?”
“So, let’s take a chance and get to know each other then. You seem like someone I would like to get to know better anyway, so that’s a start.” There it was, the moment she would remember for the rest of her life, the night she became his lady. The two of them just hit it off from the word go and they looked as if they had known each other for years. He made her heart skip a beat every time she looked at him, she was smitten. It was love at first sight and no matter what anyone ever told her about him in the future, he could never do any wrong in her eyes. She was besotted by him. The pair were joined at the hip after that first night and Mikey was mesmerised by the new girl on the block. It didn’t matter to him how posh she was or who her family were, he just knew he really liked her… a lot.
Love had never hit Mikey like this before - it was something he had always struggled with. Of course he’d banged loads of girls but they were just dirt-bags to him. They were little more than a jerk and a squirt; a sack emptier. He never loved them. Love was something that had caused him immense pain in the past and only seemed to leave empty holes in people’s hearts and Mikey never wanted to open his heart again. All the things he’d ever loved had gone. He had loved his dad and he left, he loved his family too but they just got off and left him to rot. No, love was something that he struggled with and as of yet nobody had ever got into his heart. Of course, Sarah’s family went ballistic when they found out who their daughter was dating. Some big mouth from the estate let the cat out of the bag. Her parents told her point-blank to end the relationship before they did. They didn’t understand the passion they shared and they were doing everything in their power to make sure their daughter got as far away from this dead leg as she possibly could. Sarah’s brothers were livid at the thought of their sister mingling with the riff-raff in the area. They had done their homework on Mikey and they had him down as a scumbag, a grafter and a liar. And, it didn’t take long before they paid someone good money to warn him off. They would break his neck if they had to.
Mikey Milne shit himself when it happened. They Shanghaied him right out of the blue, with no warning whatsoever. There he was just minding his own business walking down the street when from out of nowhere he was dragged into the back of a white transit van. A pillowcase was rammed over his head and he was in no position to fight back. His body was numb and he was light-headed after the first blow was struck. They went to town on him, kicked fuck out of him and nearly killed him. His attackers took him to a deserted area and that’s when he could see their identity for the first time. These men were the real McCoy, gangsters, head the balls and, his heart was in his mouth the second the ordeal began. Malcolm Jackson was a well-known head around the area. He was getting on a bit nowadays but he could still put the fear of God in someone if he wanted to. He pulled out a silver pistol from his jacket and stuck the cold steel barrel in the side of Mikey’s face. There were another two men there too and they watched as Malcolm began his torment. “I’ll blow your fucking head off if you ever go near Sarah again. Do I make myself clear, laddo?”
Mikey was shaking like a leaf and he swallowed hard. All he could do was nod his head. His eyes were wide open and he felt his windpipe tightening. He was in a bad situation, one he’d never found himself in before. Malcolm was a sick bastard and he was well known for the way he attacked the people who’d wronged him. He grabbed some rusty old pliers and stuck them deep into his victim’s mouth. Mikey was wriggling about but there was no way he was moving. They had him pinned down. Malcolm rammed the pliers inside Mikey’s mouth and attached them to his teeth. He had a firm grip on one and let out a menacing laugh. “Fuck me, these are like donkey’s teeth.” He pulled and tugged inside his mouth. A metal taste oozed onto Mikey’s tongue, there was blood dribbling down his chin. This mad cunt had pulled one of his side teeth out. Writhing in pain, Mikey was sucking up the dribbling blood and watched as Malcolm examined the bloody tooth still lodged firmly inside the pliers. “This is just a reminder, kid. If I ever see you again it will mean you didn’t listen to me. And trust me I’ll pull every one of them gnashers out one by one! I’ll make a fucking necklace out of them!”
Mikey had feared for his life that night but he didn’t say a word about it at the time. He tried his very best to cart his new girlfriend but she kept coming back and after days of sobbing her heart out, he knew he couldn’t let her go. He had to face the consequences of his actions and when the time came for Malcolm to pay him another visit he would just have to be ready to defend himself. Mikey Milne was tooled up every day after that attack. He was always looking over his shoulder and waiting for the next beating. The missing tooth on the left side of his mouth was a constant reminder that death was only a whisper away and now he was a target, he valued his life more than ever. In truth, prison was a good place for him to be at the moment and while he was locked up he knew Malcolm and his boys couldn’t get their hands on him. In his own way he’d tried to tell Sarah how bad things were but she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the box and even if he spelt it out to her, she would never have believed her family could have contemplated having him wiped from the face of the earth just so she wouldn’t date him anymore.
*
Gary stood inside the visitors centre and booked in for the visit. It was such a malarkey and things had changed so much since he’d last visited someone in the nick. It gave him the creeps. They were given bright green wristbands to wear and it was the screw’s job to make sure they were fitted securely on the visitor’s wrist. Every last detail had to be followed; passports, proof of address, utility bills - it all had to be produced before a visitor was allowed inside the jail. Rachel sat tugging at her wristband, she was still in a mood. “What the fuck is this all about? Look how tight mine is, it’s irritating me already. I’m going to rip it off.”
Gary was distraught and kept a low voice as he tried to calm her down. “Just leave it alone! They won’t let you go over to the main prison if you’re not wearing one. Please, for me, just chill out.” He was sweating, small beads of sweat forming on his forehead. The parcel had to be stashed yet and his arse was twitching knowing the time was nearing to go into the main prison.
Sarah was fidgeting, she’d had enough of the atmosphere. She shot a look over at Rachel and gasped her breath. “Can we just start again? I’m sorry for my part in all this but you have to understand where I’m coming from. Day after day I take all the insults from you and I just keep quiet. But, it does my head in, it really hurts my feelings.”
Rachel folded her arms tightly in front of her and bit hard on her lip. She was a ticking bomb and if they would have been anywhere else, she would have dragged her hair all over the place and kicked fucked out of her. But they were in public and she knew she had to curb her anger and try and sort things out, not for her, for her son. “Just forget about it
now, I can’t be arsed anymore. It’s happened and we both said stuff. No point in going over it all is there?”
Sarah was never one to be quiet. She wanted to explore the reason why they argued now and she tried dissecting every part of the dispute. “We’re just different me and you. You have to accept me for who I am. It’s not my fault if I come from a good background,” she paused. “And, I know you don’t really mean all you say anyway, it’s just your way of trying to release your frustration. I’ve read up on things like this and it’s a sort of defence mechanism. The best form of defence is attack.”
Rachel flicked invisible dust from her black leggings. They were cheap and cheerful and something she picked up from Primark when she was in Manchester last. You could see her scabby knickers through the thin black material too; her skanky underwear was ready for the bin. There was no way she was giving her the time of the day anymore, she was doing her head in. Rachel’s voice went higher. “I said it’s over didn’t I! Just be quiet and let’s get this visit over and done with. Our Mikey loves us both, so for now just let’s keep him happy and not stress him out.” Sarah sucked in a large mouthful of air and her chest expanded. She nodded slowly at Rachel and the war seemed to be over for now.
Rachel smirked as she watched Gary go to the toilets to conceal the parcel. The visitors centre was clean and bright, which made a big change from what she was used to on previous visits. Usually, these places were a shit-tip with stinking toilets, scruffy chairs and snotty kids running around crying their eyes out. Rachel clocked her surroundings. There were children’s toys in the corner of the room and a flat screen TV secured firmly on the wall. This was one of the best centres Rachel had ever visited and she felt at ease knowing she was warm and sat in a nice place before she went to see her son. Reaching over to a table nearby Sarah picked up a newspaper written by HMP inmates. It was distributed throughout the country and most criminals read it to pass a few hours. Opening the pages, she started to read the news inside the prison world. Her eyes were wide open as her expression changed. Rachel snarled over at her and shook her head. What did this girl know about her world? Fuck all! She didn’t have a clue what it was like to suffer.
Sarah wiped her eyes as tears started rolling down her cheek. She lifted her head up and choked up as she passed the newspaper over to Rachel. Her finger pointed at a piece in the paper. “Please read this poem here that an inmate has written. It’s heartbreaking, just read it and you’ll see. Honest, it’s really pulled at my heartstrings.” Rachel knew what kind of poems were inside this paper. When she was doing her time she used to read it religiously. Everyone did. The poems were written by inmates and some of the verses were really good. It’s amazing how people can find the words to describe their pain when they are locked away from their loved ones. Rachel used to cry reading this newspaper back in the day. There was one piece in particular that still stuck in her mind and it was about an inmate writing to her children back home asking them for forgiveness for the life she’d led them in to. Each criminal locked away behind prison walls always had regrets about the choices they’d made in life. Prison life broke them and all that was left for some inmates was raw emotion that made them feel weak and vulnerable. Rachel had written a few articles whilst she was doing her time too but she never showed them to anyone. These were her private thoughts and nobody was ever getting inside her head to see the real her. She’d been hurt too many times in the past to ever expose her inner feelings again. Rachel cast her eyes over the verse. She was just reading it to be polite, she didn’t digest any of the words. Passing it back over to Sarah she raised her eyes. “Life, innit. Words said inside a jail cell mean nothing on the outside love. It’s just jail talk. Ask a few of the girls sat here about it,” she jerked her head forward at the girls sat waiting in the corner of the room. Rachel continued in a low voice. “They’ll tell you all about it. I’m sure they’ve probably heard buckets of it. Meaningless shit it is, a load of crap. I should know, I’ve been there and got the t-shirt so to speak.”
Sarah held her head to the side and whispered over to Rachel. “I do want to learn about how you lived your life if you will let me. I won’t judge you. You just have to trust me. After all, we’re family now.”
Rachel nearly choked. Was this girl on this fucking planet or what? How on earth did she think she could say something like that? Rachel was just about to give her a bollocking when Gary came back into the room, he saved Sarah from a mouthful of abuse. All it took was one look over at him and she knew the job was done. The drugs were stashed, plugged right up his arsehole. The officer in charge started to shout out inmates’ surnames and the visitors made their way over to the exit. They were all nattering and straightening their clothes. Some of the younger girls were dressed up to the nines; their arses hanging out and tits popping out of their bras. Sarah got excited as they started to walk over to the main prison. Her eyes were everywhere. “Is he in there, what part is he in? How many prisoners will we see today? Are there any criminals doing life sentences?” Sarah was doing everyone’s head in. Even Gary, who was usually laid back, was getting sick of her now. She was hard work. He had to keep a straight head and she was spooking him out with all her questions. Sarah latched on to some other visitors and they could hear her waffling on behind them as they all entered the main prison. The security checks now began. All the doors were locked and each of them were being watched eagerly, there was CCTV and officers all over the joint. Once the visitors came through the main doors it was time to be searched. This was the point of no return, there was no going back. Everything the visitors had in their possession had to be put in a small grey dish and placed on a table. No notes were allowed inside the jail, just loose change. There was a vending machine in the centre and visitors were allowed to buy drinks and chocolates for their loved ones. Mikey loved chocolate. He had a right sweet tooth and when he was craving sugar he could eat loads of it. He loved thick, creamy chocolate, a Mars bar was his favourite. He always said the chocolate bar had everything he needed in one bite. Rachel often treated him to his addiction when they’d had words. All she had to do was place one on the table near him and he knew she was sorry for whatever havoc she’d caused. Rachel and Mikey knew each other inside out. They didn’t have to say a word to each other. All it ever took was a look to know how the other was feeling.
Sarah huddled in behind Rachel as their turn came to be searched. Mikey’s mother knew the script inside out and her spine tingled at the memory of her stretch inside a similar big house. She stretched her arms out ready to be frisked, her face was frozen. Gary licked his dry cracked lips, his head was spinning. His eyes were all over looking for the sniffer dog. If that scruffy mutt came anywhere near him he was going to boot it right up the arse. He’d concealed the drugs well but there was always that small chance that they would be detected by the hound. Rachel smiled at the female officer. “Am I all done now, love?”
The screw nodded. “Yes, just go and wait at the other door until the rest of the visitors are ready.”
Rachel picked up her loose change and shoved it back inside her pocket. “Fucking miserable lesbian,” she growled under her breath. Mikey’s mam stood with her back against the wall and chewed the side of her fingernail. She clocked the female screw and wondered how many times she’d actually found something on a visitor, probably none. It was just a basic search, a pat down. Sarah was chuckling as her body search began. This girl couldn’t keep her big trap shut for a minute. This was a big adventure for her and she was taking in everything around her. “Do you ever find anything when you’re searching the visitors?” The female officer raised a smile but there was no way she was getting into a conversation about it. This was confidential information and she wasn’t willing to discuss it. Rachel let out a laboured breath from where she stood and shot a look over at Sarah. She was so on top, a fucking busybody. She was bringing attention to them.
Gary walked past and stood with his arms out as the male officer bega
n to search him. He knew the script and tried to get it over as soon as possible. If this screw would have suspected anything he would have sent him into another room where they would examine him with a wand. The wand was the nickname of a device they used to scan visitors for any trace of drugs. This included people who smoked weed, or who had recently been in contact with it. These visitors usually had their visits cancelled at this point if any evidence of drug use was found on them. This was a zero tolerance jail and the officers were all on the ball. Nobody was trusted. The price on the outside to bring a parcel inside any jail was about two hundred quid, usually the junkies would take the chance to take stuff in. They were desperate for some extra cash and would do anything for it, even risk their own freedom. Jail meant fuck all to them; it was three meals a day and a roof over their head. It was more than any of them had on the outside. But money was short and Rachel’s boyfriend’s neck was on the line this time. He hated taking chances but Rachel had pressured him into doing it. Fuck Mikey Milne! He needed to sort his own shit out and man up. All of a sudden now Mikey was banged up he had his mother running around after him. She never usually gave a flying fuck and now she was acting like the mother of the year. It was a joke.
Gary finished his body search and gave the security guard a shifty look as he walked away. The coast was clear for now and everything was going to plan. Rachel gasped as he made his way to her side. “Thank fuck that’s over,” he whispered under his breath. Sarah was taking everything in, her head was all over the show looking at every detail. As they walked through another doorway they could see the grounds of the prison from where they stood; thick metal fencing with sharp jagged blades of metal sticking from the top of it. Sarah was mesmerised by it all and Gary had to give her a gentle shove to keep her moving. She was at it again. “I can only imagine how hard it is for Mikey in here Rachel. I never really thought of prison in this way. It’s shocking, it’s really opened my eyes.”