Fighting Blind

by C. M. Seabrook

  Mac’s gaze drifts across the parking lot, locking on something in the shadow of a large oak tree. She stops cold.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She squints, then shakes her head. “I thought I saw something.”

  I glance back to the shadows and see nothing except the soft flicker of lightning bugs, but it doesn’t stop the chill that races down my spine. I need to get her back to my place. Keep her safe until the bastard is brought into custody.

  And if he even thinks about coming near her again, gun or no gun, I’ll tear him apart, limb by limb.

  Despite my attempts to make conversation, Mac stays quiet. I know she’s upset with me. She’s been alone for too damn long. She isn’t used to help, or people making decisions for her.

  But she better getting fucking use to it, because there’s no way I’m letting her more than a few feet from my side. At least not until the bastard is found.

  “I had Moody move your stuff into my apartment,” I say when I pull into the back parking lot.

  She frowns, but doesn’t respond.

  I hate the fear I see in her eyes when she gets out of the car.

  She stiffens when I wrap my arms around her, and I can almost feel the war raging within her. The need to get away fighting with the need to get closer.

  When she starts to pull back, I stop her. “Let me hold you for a minute.”

  “Not out here.” She squeezes her eyes closed and her fingers fist in my shirt.

  “Okay.”

  My mom is waiting for us upstairs, and she rushes towards Mac when we enter. I give them a few minutes to talk, throwing Mac’s small army bag in the corner and head towards the kitchen.

  “Logan’s sleeping,” I hear my mom say as I pull a beer from the fridge.

  I move down the hall to the spare bedroom, and lean against the open doorframe. The kid’s sprawled out on her small bed, her tiny fist clutching a stuffed bunny. There’s something about having her at my place that makes my heart swell.

  Like we’re a real fucking family.

  And we will be. I know Mac isn’t in the same place as me emotionally, but the fact that she didn’t run, that she stayed, gives me hope that in time she’ll feel the same way.

  “Your mom just left,” Mac says quietly behind me.

  “Good.” We need time alone. I hand her the beer, and she takes it, draining half the bottle in a single gulp. “Your stuff is in my room.”

  I clench my teeth, waiting for her reaction. Anything. But all I get is another blank stare and nod as if she’s resigned herself to accept everything I tell her.

  In a way, it makes it easier, but Mac’s never been easy, she’s always put up a fight, even when she agreed with my decision.

  “Come on,” I take her hand, leading her to the master bathroom. I turn on the shower, then pull my shirt over my head, tossing it on the floor.

  “What are you doing?”

  “You stink,” I lie, nuzzling my nose against her neck, and running my hands down her back. “We’re having a shower.”

  “Theo–” Her breath catches when I slide my fingers under her shirt.

  She doesn’t protest or push me away, just looks up at me with those big brown eyes that have captured my soul. I’d do anything to take away the pain I see there.

  Too many years have gone by, wasted by bad decisions, by fear. I won’t make the same mistake again.

  I lower my mouth to hers, brushing my tongue against her lips until they part, and she returns my kiss with the same hunger that I’ve been holding back.

  Her arms lift above her head, allowing me to pull her shirt off.

  I run my hands down her luscious curves, under the waist band of her jeans, and have to hold back a groan when she unsnaps the button, pushing them over her hips, down her legs.

  “God, you’re beautiful.” And mine. Always mine.

  Her tongue darts over her bottom lip as her eyes roam down my chest. “So are you.”

  I chuckle, pulling her closer, and snapping the clasp of her bra. “That’s not a word that’s ever been used to describe me.”

  “But you are. I’ve always thought that.” Her fingers trace the black ink on my arm.

  I grin, shaking my head. “Next you’re going to tell me you think I’m sweet.”

  “You are.” She catches her bottom lip between her teeth.

  This time I laugh outright, pulling her tight against my body, needing the contact of her flesh against mine.

  “You sure know how to bruise a man’s ego. You make me sound like a woman.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “I know.” I nip at her shoulder, running my hands down her lower back, snagging her panties with my thumb and sliding them over her ass. “But I want you to see me as someone who’ll protect you.” I move lower, capturing her nipple between my teeth, and swirling my tongue over the hard nub. “Keep you safe.”

  “I do,” she gasps, arching toward me.

  “Good,” I growl.

  My cock strains against my pants, throbbing with need. The need to be inside her. To possess her. Take away all doubt from her mind. It’s the only thing I’ve been able to think about since I left her.

  Now that I’m back, I’m going to make sure there isn’t a single night she isn’t in my bed.

  I kiss her with the possessive hunger raging inside me. She responds to my touch, her hands roaming desperately over my body, fingers clawing at my skin.

  Soft, feminine moans leave her lips as she tugs on my belt.

  “Here.” I take over, quickly discarding the denim on the floor.

  I’m about ready to say fuck the shower, but I can feel the tension in her body, and know that she needs more than a quick fuck on the bathroom floor.

  Although my cock protests, I need to take my time.

  I take her hand, pulling her under the warm stream with me. For a moment she closes her eyes, chin tilted back, letting the water wash over her face, down her back.

  Our bodies mold together, and I can feel her erratic heartbeat against my chest. I press my lips against her forehead and breathe her in. Despite how hard I am, how much I want her, there’s something erotically intimate in the way she clings to me.

  I love you, Mackenzie Brooks.

  The words are on the tip of my tongue, desperate to be said, but I don’t want to put more pressure on her than I already have. It’s enough that she’s here with me.

  I rub her shoulders, kneading the tight muscles, until I feel her relax under my touch. Her eyes are hooded, watching me.

  “Turn around,” I demand, picking up a bottle of shampoo and squirting its contents into my hand.

  When she doesn’t move, I lift a brow and give her a look that makes her obey, but not without a sigh.

  Careful not to let the suds drip into the cut on her temple, I massage her scalp, using my fingers to untangle the knots in her hair. Turning her back towards me, I shield her face, as the water washes away the soap.

  “Am I clean enough?” she asks, her lips quirking up.

  I lower my nose to her throat and sniff. “For now. But I have a feeling you’re going to need another shower later.”

  Her mouth parts and her eyes widen.

  I shut the shower off, then slap her ass, just hard enough to make her yelp in surprise. “To bed.”

  “I’m wet.”

  “You will be.” I pull her back against me, my cock nestling between her ass cheeks, and I groan.

  She sucks in a sharp breath. “Theo.”

  Her startled reaction makes me smile. Sometimes I forget how innocent she still is.

  I plan to change that.

  She turns in my arms and gazes up at me with lust-filled eyes.

  “It still doesn’t feel real. This. Us.”

  “It’s real.” I claim her mouth, reveling in her taste, her scent. It’s so easy to lose myself when I’m with her. I know I need to be gentle, but I don’t have the strength to restrain myself any longer.


  I take her hand and lead her to the bedroom, breaking contact only long enough to grab a condom from the bedside drawer.

  My cock is hard, straining, and I catch her glancing down at it, her tongue darting over her lips.

  The thought of fucking that pretty little mouth nearly sends me over the edge.

  “Come here,” I grunt, pulling her down onto the bed with me.

  She straddles me, positioning her knees at my side.

  Gaze locked with mine, she places her hands on my chest and lifts so that my cock is nudged just at her opening. Slowly, she slides down, and her eyes close, a small gasp of pleasure on her lips.

  Everything but her melts away.

  She begins to rock against me, slowly, steadily at first, then faster, harder.

  I tease her nipples, and she lets out a moan that goes straight to my cock. I’m barely holding on as she rides me with the desperation I feel.

  She’s greedy for me. For her release.

  The drugging, lightheaded effects of pleasure tear through me as she moves with the cadence of our heavy breathing. Her thighs tighten and I can feel the rippling of her pussy as it milks my cock, drawing me into pure ecstasy.

  Her back arches, hips flex. She clenches around me, tight and hot, with urgent need. Her cry of pleasure is my undoing, rasping over my senses. I grip her hips, holding her tight, and thrust, grinding into her until I have nowhere to go but sweet heaven.

  “God, Mackenzie.”

  Her body pulses and throbs around me, and I lose myself in her, coming harder than I ever have before.

  She collapses on my chest, perspiration mingling with our already damp bodies.

  “I hate how much I need you.” Her words are breathy, strung with emotion.

  “I know.” I cup her face, claiming her mouth. “But I need you just as much. More.”

  She shakes her head, and in the dim light, I can see the tears forming in her eyes.

  Not losing contact, I flip her over so that I’m nestled between her legs. She tries to look away, but I won’t let her. I slide my fingers along her jaw, then across her swollen lips.

  “I love you, Mac.”

  She inhales sharply against my lips and I feel the shiver that races through her body.

  “Theo, I…” She blows out an uneven breath and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, there’s a sadness in her gaze that wasn’t there before. “You know how I feel about you.”

  “Sure.” I sigh and wipe away the tear that rolls down her cheek.

  The tension between us is thick. I don’t know if it’s me or her. Maybe both. I shouldn’t have expected the words to be returned. Not this soon. But I know now that I did.

  “I’ll make us something to eat.” I roll off the bed, discarding the condom, then pull on a pair of sweatpants.

  Right or wrong, I need more from her than she’s giving me. I don’t just want her body. I want her heart and soul.

  Chapter 25

  Mackenzie

  I love you too. Four simple words.

  I should have said it back. It’s not like it isn’t true. I’ve loved him since before I even understood what the word meant.

  Burying my face in the pillow, I breathe in Theo’s scent, wishing he were back in bed with me. That I could take back the moment, tell him how I really feel.

  I know I hurt him. I saw the pain in his eyes, heard the disappointment in his voice.

  Why am I still holding back?

  The patience and forgiveness Theo has shown me is more than I deserve.

  But I can’t shake the feeling that the storm is only just beginning. Maybe it’s just paranoia. I don’t know. All I know is that until Stefano is behind bars, I’ll never feel safe.

  I roll out of bed and open the dresser drawers until I find the one with Theo’s t-shirts. Pulling one over my head, I shuffle towards the kitchen.

  Theo’s back is to me, standing over the kitchen island, head bent, shoulders slouched, palms flat on the dark marble.

  “Theo?”

  He doesn’t move.

  Something in his posture sets off warning bells.

  I take another step towards him, and I see it. The edge of the army bag I took from the bus station.

  Shit. I know what he’s found and my stomach does a three-sixty.

  “I can explain–”

  “Explain?” He turns around, eyes blazing with anger. He chuckles darkly, holding the bus ticket between us. “Go ahead. I can’t wait to hear what lies you’re going to tell me now.”

  I breathe out heavily, knowing I deserve his anger. “I was scared. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  He rubs a hand over his face, then through his hair. “And I suppose trusting me with this shit didn’t occur to you? Shit, Mac. Sometimes I look at you and I swear I don’t know you at all. Are you really that fucking selfish?”

  A knot is forming in my throat and I can barely swallow.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

  He laughs harshly. “Right.”

  “I’ve made some bad decisions, but–”

  “But what?” He leans against the counter, looking utterly exhausted, like he’s given up. “Ever since you’ve been back, you’ve done nothing but lie to me. Shit, even before then.”

  “I’m sorry,” I repeat.

  “For what? What are you sorry about Mackenzie?” All of the pent up anger he’s been holding onto is channeled at me. “Are you sorry you hid the fact that we had sex when I was drunk? That we had a kid together? Or are you sorry that you forgot to mention there’s a psychopath after you, because you owe an asshole drug money?”

  I take a step back when he storms towards me, shoving the bus ticket in my hand.

  “Or are you sorry you were going to take off again? Leaving me with no fucking clue if you were dead or alive.”

  “All of it,” I whisper, looking down at the floor. “I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was trying to protect you.”

  “You think I need your fucking protection?” His muscles bunch, fingers flex into fists. “What I need is for you to be honest with me for once in your life. If you want to take the kid and leave, I won’t stop you. I’ll make sure you’ve got money, that you’re safe. But I need to know your choice. Stop playing games.”

  His words pierce me. The thought of leaving makes my insides roll. I’m done running. I know what I want–him.

  “I don’t want to leave.”

  He grips my chin, not hard enough to hurt me, but tight enough that I know it isn’t a gentle caress.

  “If that’s your choice, then you don’t get to walk away. Never again. Understand? You’re mine. You’ve always been mine. Nothing will ever change that. Look at me, Mac. Tell me you understand.”

  There’s so much venom in his voice that I flinch.

  His shoulders instantly sag, and his face drains of color. He drops his hands and takes a step back.

  “You’re scared of me now?”

  “No.” I shake my head, my chest squeezing painfully at the hurt I see in his eyes. “Of course not.”

  I don’t know what to say. What can I say to make up for what I’ve done? So I stay silent, waiting for more of his anger. It’s what I deserve.

  “I need to go,” Theo says, turning his back and stalking toward the front door.

  “Theo, wait. Please don’t leave.” There’s an edge of desperation in my tone. “I love you.”

  A dark rumbling that sounds like a mix between a laugh and a growl echoes across the room. His eyes are cold, empty when he turns around.

  “No more lies, Mac.”

  He doesn’t give me a chance to respond.

  I’ve known fear my entire life, but the soul crushing ache in my chest as he walks out the door is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

  But it’s nothing compared to what I’ve done to him. I didn’t realize you could break your own heart by hurting someone else’s. That’s what I’ve done.

&n
bsp; I just pray he’ll eventually forgive me.

  Chapter 26

  Mackenzie

  Theo doesn’t come back.

  I stay up most of the night waiting. Hating myself for how screwed up I am. For the things I’ve done.

  Unable to sleep, I sit on the couch and try to figure out how to fix things. Maybe I don’t deserve his forgiveness, but I have to try.

  By the time the sun is starting to rise, I know what I’m going to do.

  When Logan wakes up, I hug her a little longer than she likes. She squirms until I put her down, then starts her morning tirade around the apartment. It’s nearly nine by the time I have her fed and dressed.

  Logan doesn’t seem fazed by the fact that her bed and toys have been moved and that’s she’s woken up at yet another new place. But with all the moving around we’ve done, it’s nothing new for her.

  She deserves a home, a family. And from this day forward, I’m going to fight with everything inside me to make sure she has it.

  No more running.

  No more fear.

  For Logan. For Theo. I won’t live my life afraid anymore.

  “Mackenzie?” A male voice travels down the hall from the front entrance.

  Moody.

  I leave Logan with her dolls.

  “Theo asked me to check on you.” He pulls a beer from the fridge and shuts the fridge with his foot.

  I sit down on one of the island stools. “How is he?”

  “Pretty pissed off. But he’ll get over it.” He leans against the counter, studying me.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Trust me. He just needs time.” He takes a long swig, then places the empty bottle on the island. “And for you not to run off again.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Good. Cause I’d have to kick your ass if you did. And I have a real aversion to hurting girls.”

  I smile, shaking my head. “Well noted.”

  “Mama, come.” Logan runs down the hall, carrying the princess doll Theo bought her. When she spots Moody she stops, eyes going wide.

  I almost laugh at her expression. Moody’s size is intimidating for a normal size adult, so I can only imagine how ginormous he must seem to her.