Children of the Promise

by Dean Hughes

  Alex also hated the feeling that he had left a lot of unfinished business in Germany. He had tried to make certain that Gestapo Agent Kellerman paid for his crimes, but Kellerman’s sentence had been a mere two years, and that hardly seemed adequate. The man was small potatoes compared to the leading Nazis, but Alex felt that somehow he should have made a better case, that he had let the Stoltzes down. Alex had also intended to return to Brünen to check on the Rietz family, who had protected him and Otto Lang from the Gestapo during their mission behind the enemy lines. But Alex had never found the opportunity to go there, and finally he had learned that Werner Rietz had been beaten to death by the Gestapo on the same day that Alex and Otto had made their escape. This was one more ghost to haunt Alex. He knew he would always wonder about Werner’s wife, Margarita, and her boys, and about his own mistakes that might have caused Werner’s death.

  Ghosts. So many were hanging over Alex, but it was time to move on with his life. As the airplane crossed over the Wasatch Mountains and then made a wide turn across the Salt Lake Valley, he was able to look out and see the temple, the capitol building, and the broad streets. He counted blocks, thought he could see Twenty-First South, and could guess about where his parents’ house was. Anna had written to him that she was living with her parents in a rental house that Alex’s dad had made available to them. She had also spoken of arrangements for another house, one where he and Anna could live. But Alex didn’t know how he was going to pay the rent, and that concerned him.

  Still, he told himself that he would figure everything out. The important thing was that he had what he had longed for in those dark days in France and Holland, Belgium and Germany. He would spend his nights between clean sheets, next to Anna. He liked the gradual descent of the airplane, didn’t even mind when the wheels jarred onto the runway, rather hard—after all, he didn’t have to jump with a parachute. As the big propellers kept whirring and the airplane taxied toward the terminal, he watched the windows, hoping for some glimpse of Anna. He had telephoned her from New York to tell her his flight plans, and even though the airplane was a little late, he had no doubt that she would be waiting. It was strange to think of Anna in Utah, here where he had never seen her. He could tell from her letters that her English was improving, that she was picking up American—and LDS—expressions. She had been thrilled to attend general conference in April, and Alex had smiled when she had written what a “choice blessing” it had been.

  When the airplane came to a stop, Alex waited as people ahead of him collected their belongings and worked their way up the aisle. He tried to be patient as he followed an older man slowly down the stairs outside the airplane. But once on the ground, he broke the line and walked much faster than

  the others. He made it to the terminal first, and as he entered the building, he looked frantically for Anna. Then, suddenly, there she was, off to his left and coming toward him, reaching with one arm, Gene in the other. Alex turned and grabbed both of them, but his movement was too forceful, and little Gene screeched. Before Alex could kiss Anna, she was already pulling back. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Alex told her.

  At the same time, Anna was saying, “Gene, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s only Daddy”—all in English.

  “I’m your daddy,” Alex said, and he took Gene by the sides, lifted him out of Anna’s arms, but this only set the child off again. He cried even louder than before and twisted to reach for his mother.

  Anna didn’t take him back. “It’s Daddy,” she kept saying. “I told you about Daddy.” But Gene was hearing none of that. He was stretching so hard that Alex could hardly keep hold of him. He had gotten hold of his mother’s blouse and was pulling at it desperately.

  “It’s all right. Take him,” Alex said. “He’ll get to know me before long.” And then he added, “Anna, he’s so beautiful.”

  “He’s sweet, too, Alex. I think it’s your uniform that scares him.”

  Gene was clinging to his mother’s neck now, crying, taking a peek from time to time at Alex. Alex glanced to see people watching, some smiling, understanding what was happening. It was a scene that had surely been repeated many times in airports, in bus and train stations, all over the world. That’s what Alex told himself, but he still wanted to kiss his wife, and he wanted his little boy to come to him.

  “Wait just a minute. Let him calm down, and then I’ll kiss you,” Anna said, and Alex was amazed at how natural her English was sounding now. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. It’s fine. Anna, you look so good.” She was wearing a pale blue blouse and a gray skirt. She looked classy, better dressed than she had ever been in England. Alex wondered who had bought the clothes for her.

  “Oh, no—I don’t look my best. I still haven’t lost all the weight I put on before Gene was born.”

  “I don’t see that.”

  “You will.” She smiled.

  “I can’t wait.”

  “I believe you’ll have to.”

  And, of course, that was true, but Alex hadn’t thought much about that—how life would be now with a baby in the middle of everything. He found himself wishing that the two of them might have had just a little time together. Since they had been married, they had only shared a few weeks, and those had always been under the shadow of Alex’s return to action. “Where do we get my luggage?” he asked.

  Anna pointed down the hall, and the two walked in that direction. “Alex, your mom said she’ll take Gene for a few days, some time soon, and we can get away. I want to see Yellowstone Park, or maybe even California.”

  “Will Gene be all right with that?”

  “I think so. He loves your mother.” She reached out and patted his arm. “He’ll love you, too.”

  “Is that right, Gene?” Alex asked, and he smiled at his son. But Gene twisted his head back against his mother’s neck. His crying had almost stopped, but now it picked up again.

  Alex was surprised to learn that Anna had driven to the airport. She had been practicing, she said, and so had her father. They had both obtained their driver’s licenses just a few days before. President Thomas had given them a car “to use for now” but hadn’t charged them anything for it. “It’s wonderful how much he does for us,” Anna told Alex.

  “He’s good that way,” Alex said, and he meant it, but he told himself he wanted to pay for the car. He was relieved just a little when they reached the parking lot and he saw a pre-war Ford, not a fancy new Nash or Hudson.

  “You drive,” Anna said, and she handed him her keys. “I’ll hold Gene.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “To your parents’ house. Everyone will be there. Your dad told Wally and Richard to take off work early and come over for a nice dinner. It’s the first time all your family will be together at the same time since 1940.”

  “Not all,” Alex said softly. He opened the trunk of the Ford, but then he looked at Anna. “Up there in the air a few minutes ago, I was thinking about walking into my house, and it hit me—my little brother won’t be there. I thought I was used to that idea, but I guess I’m not.”

  “I know. I understand. For so long, I thought I had lost Peter.”

  He hoisted his duffel bag into the trunk. “What’s Wally like?”

  “I don’t know what he was like before, Alex. But he seems happy. He and Lorraine have been so kind to me and my parents.”

  “And what about Richard? Do you like him?”

  “He’s nice too. But he’s quiet. It’s not as easy to get to know him. Your mom has us over for Sunday dinner almost every week, and Wally’s the center of all the talk, all the laughing.”

  Alex opened the door for Anna, but his getting that close seemed to alarm Gene again. He watched Alex with a careful eye, and he gripped his mother around the neck. Alex walked around the car, got in, and started it before he said, “I hope Wally and I can be good friends now. There’s always been a certain amount of competition between us. But that should all be gone.”

 
“He wants to be close to you, Alex. He’s told me that. I guess your dad is talking about you going back to the parts plant, and Wally moving over to the dealership, but I’m sure you’ll see each other a lot.”

  “Is that what Dad said?”

  “He’s mentioned it. And Wally talked about it.”

  “Do I get to have an opinion?”

  Anna’s head turned quickly. Alex was surprised by the tone of his own voice, by the force behind it. Anna switched to German and said, “Alex, it was only something he talked about. It wasn’t a decision. I’m sure he wants to discuss it with you.”

  “I’m sorry, Anna. But I’ve never told Dad that I was going to work for him. That’s all his idea.”

  She nodded, but Alex saw the concern in her face. “Alex, are you all right?” she asked.

  “Oh, sure. But I hope this doesn’t last too long today. Are the cousins coming, and everyone?”

  “No, no. Just your family. I think your grandparents on the Thomas side might come, but your mother’s parents aren’t doing well, Alex. We’ll have to go see them one of these first days. No one thinks Grandfather Snow will live much longer.”

  Alex knew this, had actually expected that Grandpa wouldn’t last until he made it home.

  “I’ve sort of pictured going home, bouncing Gene on my knee a little, and the three of us having some time together.”

  “That’s what I want, too. I told my family we would see them all tomorrow.” And then she said to the baby, “Is this Daddy? Do you like Daddy?”

  Alex glanced to see Gene looking toward him. “Hi, Son,” he said. “I love you.” Gene leaned back against his mother, but he seemed a little more accepting now. Alex laughed, and he looked at Anna. “He’s got your hair and eyes, just like I always hoped he would.”

  “I think he looks more like you. He’s got that strong Thomas jaw.”

  Alex had spoken English, Anna German. “Are you speaking both languages with him?” Alex asked.

  “Oh, yes. He hears mostly German now, around my family, but I speak English to him a lot. I hope he’ll learn both.”

  “We’ll keep speaking both. Kids can pick up two languages at the same time.”

  “We’re going to be happy now, Alex. This is what we’ve been waiting for.” She smiled, and he saw that dimple by her mouth that he loved so much. When she reached out to him, touched his shoulder, he longed to take her into his arms. He put his hand on top of hers for a moment, and at least Gene didn’t protest.

  “We will be happy now, Anna. I guess that’s why I want to go home and just have an evening together, like a regular little family.” What he didn’t admit was that he was feeling strangely nervous about seeing everyone. He didn’t exactly know why.

  But Alex did like seeing the streets he remembered, the mountains, and as he got closer to his home, he loved driving through the old neighborhood in Sugar House. When he pulled up in front of the house and parked, he saw Beverly watching at the front window. He knew her mostly from pictures now; she hardly seemed the same little girl. But suddenly he felt his spirits lift, felt the excitement he had been missing.

  Beverly was the first to burst from the house and run toward him, but Bobbi soon followed, and then everyone came outside. Alex grabbed Beverly in one arm and Bobbi in the other, and then he released them as Mom hurried toward him. He embraced her, then Dad, and then LaRue. And finally, there was Wally, waiting, looking different—older and somehow more complete, as though the change had come from inside out. His motions seemed calmer, more under control. He stepped to Alex and said, “Hello, Brother,” and the two grabbed each other by the arms, looked into one another’s faces.

  “Man, oh, man,” Alex said, “I can’t believe this is happening.” And then they embraced. “There were so many times when I thought I’d never see you again.”

  “I know. I know.”

  And now Alex knew what he had feared about this moment. He was letting go, releasing himself to his emotions, letting himself cry. He had been holding back so long, keeping himself under control, always believing that emotions were his enemy, some path to instability. So many times during the war—and since—he had tried, more than anything, not to feel.

  But he cried hard now, and so did his brother, and the two held one another a long time. Around him, Alex could hear everyone sniffling, even sobbing. When the brothers finally stepped back and looked at one another again, Wally said, “While I was gone, I always tried to imagine this moment, when all of us would be back together. It seemed like the joy would just bust me wide open if it ever happened.”

  “Well, don’t bust,” Alex said. “We don’t need that.” He wanted to laugh.

  “I won’t. Not quite. But I’ll tell you, I feel pretty close to it—awful close.” Tears were still running down his cheeks.

  “Yeah. Me too,” Alex said, and he meant it. This was more healing than anything he had experienced. He felt a little of his self coming back, settling in like warmth, like quiet. He looked around at everyone again, all of them still collected close to him. Mom took hold of his arm and put her face against his shoulder, her wet cheek, and Beverly grasped him around the waist. Dad had moved out of the way, but he was beaming, overjoyed, and so was LaRue, who was standing next to Dad.

  “You remember Lorraine, don’t you?” Wally said.

  Alex did, but she looked older, looked wonderful. She greeted him quietly and stepped forward. He hugged her, too. “I’m so glad for Wally—so glad this worked out. I want you and Anna to be good friends.”

  “We already are,” Lorraine told her. “And Bobbi too. We’re all three best of friends now.”

  Bobbi was edging back toward Alex again. “Bobbi, you look so great,” Alex told her.

  “How can I look great when my brothers marry such beautiful women? I feel like a petunia in a rose garden.” Alex laughed, but before he could argue with her, she said, “I want you to meet Richard.” She grabbed her husband’s arm and pulled him closer. Richard was a tall fellow, handsome, dressed in a perfectly pressed blue suit. There was something commanding, secure about him. Alex’s first reaction was that he seemed wrong for Bobbi, almost too polished.

  “Hey, it’s nice to finally meet you,” Richard said. His tone seemed lighter than Alex had expected, and the generosity in his smile forced Alex to make a quick adjustment to his first assessment.

  “Hey, we just appreciate your marrying Bobbi,” Alex said. “We weren’t sure anyone ever would.” Bobbi made a face, like a little girl, and then stuck her tongue out at Alex. He stepped toward her and grabbed hold of her. “We didn’t think there was anyone in the world good enough for you. That’s why.” He picked her up and spun around. “Sis, you look so pretty—and happy. You must like being married.”

  “Who wouldn’t—married to a guy who looks like that?” LaRue said.

  “And speaking of pretty, look at these two little sisters of mine,” Alex said. He grabbed the girls, one under each arm. “I can’t believe this is happening,” he said. “I just can’t believe I’m here.” He looked up at the porch. Grandma and Grandpa Thomas had come outside and were still waiting their turn. Alex climbed the steps onto the porch and hugged his grandma first.

  “It’s about time you got around to me,” Grandma Thomas told him. “I was getting ready to cut you out of my will.”

  “I’d better be careful then,” Alex said, “because I do want your money.”

  But Grandma was crying and saying, “Oh, Alex, I’m so glad to have you back. I can’t tell you how much I’ve worried about you all these years.”

  Grandpa tried to get away with a handshake, but Alex wouldn’t allow that. He hugged him, too, told him how happy he was to see him.

  Everyone finally moved into the house. Alex was struck by the fancy new furniture, the new wallpaper. He looked around, trying to remember it all as it had been, but the new couch and chair were flowered, in reds and greens, and the living room hardly seemed the same place. “We’re goi
ng to start with a little ceremony,” Dad said. “You don’t see many stars in people’s windows anymore, but I told your mom we wouldn’t take ours down until everyone really had come home.” He had spoken loudly, with a sort of announcer’s tone, but his voice softened when he said, “Of course, we don’t have Gene back, but at least we have our little Gene—and that little boy has brought a lot of new happiness to this house.”

  Alex looked around to see that Anna had given the baby to his grandma, and Gene seemed content with her. Alex smiled at him, but Gene immediately turned his head away.

  “What we want,” Dad said, “is for Alex to take the flag down, and then we’re going to have a family prayer of thanksgiving.”

  So Alex stepped to the front window. The flag was tied with a couple of strands of fishing line to little nails up above. He reached high and unwound the line, first on one side and then the other. When the second line came loose, he took the flag and looked at it. He saw how faded the silk was, how long the fabric had hung in that window. Three blue stars and a gold one. What he wished was that Gene could be there, even if just for this moment, that they could have one grand reunion before the long wait to see him began. But Alex didn’t say that, knew that everyone was thinking the same thing and that the words would only make things harder.

  “Now the war is over,” Dad said.

  Everyone found a spot to kneel. “Alex,” Dad said, “we’d like you to say the prayer, too.”

  “I think I’d rather hear you say it, Dad. While I’ve been gone, I’ve thought a lot about your prayers.”

  “Yes, Dad, you say it,” Bobbi said.

  “All right. I’d be happy to.” But some time passed before his deep voice sounded. “Our Father in Heaven, we bow before thee to give thee thanks.”

  A sense of rightness surged in Alex. It was stronger than anything he had felt since his mission days. This was home: this voice, this family, this feeling.

  But Dad couldn’t speak. His voice cracked and he began to sob. Alex had never heard his father cry so openly. He was crying himself by then, shaking and clinging to Anna.