Deadly Morsel: Rosewood Academy of Witches and Mages (Darkly Sweet Book 5)

by Juliann Whicker

  “But I’ll intrude on yours. I’m a very irritating witch. I am a witch, even if I have no magic. I’ll pester you constantly for rides in your horns as you run across those precious plains of yours, and I’ll sing, completely messing up the ambiance. I am the worst singer in the world. You’ll despise being married to me.”

  He smiled and reached out a massive hand to gently pat my face. Even his palm was velveteen. “I can’t go against my father’s will. I will bear your torment as well as can be.”

  I scowled darkly and summoned Pitch. She hissed and whispered, but she wasn’t interested in climbing into his horns or slicing through his velvet skin. Why was that? Maybe because he wasn’t threatening me. At all.

  “Look, Son of Hale, do you have a name?”

  “You can call me Hale’s son.”

  “Hale’s son, Haleson is almost a name. Close enough. You’re going to be my Darkside husband whether I want you or not? Isn’t that bad for your ego?”

  He smiled, showing his pale, strong teeth. “Wives are always bad for the ego. That’s why they’re so essential. Think about it. One day a year spent with me in Darkside where you do not see me if you do not wish to, and I give you that which you desire, that which will make it possible for you to defeat your father, he who so sorely cursed you.”

  “You sound so archaic. How old are you?”

  He blinked at me. “Age?”

  I shook my head. “Never mind. Let’s stick with the simple concepts. Do you have a contract for me?”

  He shook his head. “My word is enough.”

  I blinked at him. “Excuse me?”

  “You can bind me with a mage oath, can’t you? The mage you sent mentioned it.”

  “Yes, but contracts are better. “

  “Our time is limited. Probably thirty more seconds.” He took a strand of silver light and pulled it over my head, pulling out my hair so the cord of energy was settled over my dress. The one that still had a ripped shoulder. Annoying Zach.

  “What is this?” I lifted the ring attached to the chain of flickering energy light.

  “If you accept my terms, put the ring on your left hand, ring finger, and you will have my father’s bills over Sooth.”

  There was a crackle and then the earth split, Signore leapt over the fence with one hand on the rail and Haleson was gone.

  “What is that?” he asked, pulling me closer as he examined the necklace and the ring.

  “Hi there. He’s not bad for a Darksider.”

  Signore growled and I saw his fangs. It reminded me of the time with the heart. I took a step away from him. He frowned and straightened. “Apologies, Cara mia. That creature is not the kind you trifle with.”

  I shrugged and tugged on the ring. “If I had magic, would I be the kind of sorceress that brought Darkside to its knees?”

  “Undoubtedly.”

  “I should be grateful to my father. I’m not, though. If you could have mercy on me, he could have.”

  “But he created what I could not resist, as the Son of Hale could not resist.”

  “He didn’t seem particularly interested. You think he is? Do you think he’s lying?”

  “I do not know what you discussed. Other than you petting each other.”

  “He said that he would like me to be his Darkside bride for one day a year, and I wouldn’t even have to see him that day, just hang out with his mother eating chocolate chip cookies and gingersnaps.”

  “He said that?”

  “Also that he’d let me ride on his horns if I liked.”

  “Oh, Cara mia. You were trying to discourage him, weren’t you?”

  “Of course. I’d hate having some mage sitting on my head all day. Unless he was the size of a mouse. I’d love that. I could make a hat house for him.”

  He laughed. “Hale has a reputation for verity. I doubt his son is lying. Can you remove what he put around your neck?”

  I tried lifting it over my head, but it passed through my hands. “Hm. Apparently not. Is that a bad thing?”

  “Not exactly. He insisted on being your Darkside husband? You offered him nothing else?”

  “I offered him sanity, but he seemed to think that would be off the table, a side deal or something. He wouldn’t budge on the Darkside bride thing. Maybe he can’t, not if his father made the bargain.”

  “Shall we?” He gave me his arm. I took it and then Drake and Zach were on me, dragging me away from Signore like he’d done something.

  “Where is he?” Drake’s eyes were glowing coals of green.

  I kissed his nose. “He’s gone. He gave me an energy necklace I can’t remove and a ring I’m supposed to put on if I agree to be his bride one day a year in exchange for the bills.”

  Zach’s scowl faded to a mere frown. “That’s fair.”

  Drake pulled me closer to him and kissed my nose, like we needed to be even or something. “No Darksider gets a piece of her.”

  “He’s a Daysider, even if he has a rack,” I reminded him. “I also think that it’s the best deal we’re going to get. Where’s Lester? He said he’d let him go once he left.”

  Like I’d summoned him, my sultry friend stepped into sight and promptly sat down in the grass.

  “I don’t like it,” Missy said. I’d almost forgotten about her.

  “What?”

  “I like Hale, and Darling is an absolute dear, but their son is too young to have a wife. He’s younger than thirty. He hasn’t established his own name for himself. He’s shown a lack of motivation that is truly worrisome. Darling is always fretting about him.”

  I blinked at her. “Darling? His mother’s name is Darling? Does she really make cookies?”

  She hesitated then nodded.

  “See? I expected my father to pick someone like Signore only terrifying. Instead I get lamb’s ears and cookies. It’s almost like he doesn’t hate me.”

  No one said anything. Didn’t he hate me? He’d stolen my ribs and my magic, cursed me with a horrible motion-sick curse. Sold me to a Darksider. Ruined the mage I loved in Dayside. He’d sent countless Creagh to kidnap me. Of course he hated me, didn’t want me, like my mother had always told me. Unless he’d wanted me exactly like this.

  Chapter 28

  Mage

  “She can’t marry a Darksider.”

  Why was something so glaringly obvious so hard for the others to grasp? Penny sat on the grass with Lester, making chains out of clover. I watched her drape a chain on Lester’s head like a lopsided crown. He smiled at her, a soft smile that should make her stab him somewhere delicate. Not that witches should attack mages, but she should know instinctively that he was not her nice friend.

  “One day a year and no physical contact that she doesn’t instigate, anything else?” Zach was quickly altering the basic contract at the desk he’d summoned to the side of the road.

  “I dislike repeating myself.” My voice should have warned him, but he only looked up with his own furious eyes.

  Somehow having those lightning blue eyes so intently angry made me feel slightly better. “Do you think that the alternative is better? This is your opportunity to have everything. If you screw this up, I’ll kill you myself.”

  Signore spoke in a low, growly voice. “I do not favor this solution, but he’s a young mage, rashly making promises he doesn’t understand. I think it would be unwise to not take advantage of his fascination.”

  I glared at Signore. “She’s a witch, not a pet. She shouldn’t be passed around like a tray of scones. There are laws.”

  His black eyes started glowing like coals. What did that mean? “What do you know about the laws of aberrations? Under Darkside law, she is under her father’s protection until she is married. Traditionally the witch mother despises female aberrations and vice versa. I’m certain Sooth was perplexed that his wife would ever defend her child from his meddling. Serene had some traits that crossed into mage territory. That’s why Penny is so complete, so perfectly aberred.”
r />   I growled at him.

  Missy put her hand on my arm. “Mage, the Prince of Darkness is quite right. He didn’t mention that it’s illegal to intentionally create an aberration. I have some very strong proof that he did. We should stick to the point at hand. If there is any way to defeat Sooth without Hale’s bills, by all means, let’s proceed in that direction, if not, we’ll leave it for her to decide. It’s her life. Sometimes mages forget that. Don’t be one of them.”

  I stared into her soft gray eye and found myself nodding while the anger seeped out of me. “Thank you, Missy. You seem very level-headed about this sort of thing. Have you routed a lot of sorcerers?”

  “Route? That usually requires casualties and sacrifice. I’d rather relieve Penny of her father’s curse without any of that. May we see the bills you have procured so far?”

  I summoned Revere. It took a bit of doing but he finally stepped Throughside, a firm frown on his face. When he looked around, he shook his head.

  “Did the groom get cold feet again?”

  “Penny this time. We’re pooling our resources.”

  Revere frowned at Narcollo. “Are we? I’ll be there, but I can’t be here.” He stepped Throughside and left me with nothing to do but summon a desk from Huntsman Manor. My father came with it, sitting in a very uncomfortable looking chair. He glanced around the charming meadow scene before he smoothed his goatee.

  “I do hope you aren’t setting me up again. My mustache is still singed from the last time.”

  “Your mustache is safe. Probably. You’re just here because you’re still head of Huntsman.”

  A sheaf of bills unrolled onto the desk, each one a scrap of the debt Sooth owed the worlds.

  “That’s a lot of paper,” Zach said, coming over to stare at it.

  “I always liked origami.” I snapped my fingers and the contents of the desk wrote themselves out in the air for everyone present to see. “Penny, Lester, if you’d care to join us, this is where things get interesting. Unless you’re still busy picking flowers.”

  She was so delightful. She twisted her hands in her lap, hiding them instinctively, like it showed her weakness more than the half dozen green crowns draped over Lester’s ears. I should be the one wearing Penny Lane’s creations. No time for jealousy.

  Missy stared intently at the figures while Zach put down two contracts that immediately showed in the air, the two her father had signed, one her parent’s marriage contract and the other what her grandfather had put together.

  “This is a contract?” Missy asked softly.

  Penny laughed as she stepped next to me, her shoulder bare, surrounded by tattered fabric. My shoulder. “Isn’t it terrible? If you compare my marriage contract with my mother’s, I’m clearly a genius. What’s the verdict? Do I need to marry Haleson or not?”

  I sighed and snapped my fingers. Ian stepped through, a curious look on his face. “You have the treaty? Put it on the desk.”

  He did so without asking questions. His work was a beautiful thing. I studied the language carefully. I’d seen it before, but this was a polished, exquisite piece of magework.

  “Missy, do you think that Carl would like to be included in the upcoming fracas?”

  She smiled sweetly. “I think he would. He could remind his son that being human isn’t a weakness. But would it be in his best interest?”

  I tapped the paper. “It says that humans get to choose what is in their best interest. So, we’ll ask him.”

  “We’ll have a necromancer? Nice. I guess,” Penny said.

  “You’ll have the Darkness,” Signore said, stepping forward and rubbing arms with Penny. He noticed that I noticed that touch, but she was oblivious. Probably still thinking about swinging on her Darkside fiancé’s horns. To be fair, he was probably the least aggressive looking Darksider I’d ever seen. Hopefully he didn’t fight with that soft skin for anyone to damage. Then again, hopefully he did.

  There was a poof of pink smoke and then Penny’s grandparents were there. “I told you, you used too much carbon. We aren’t genies,” the old woman said with a sniff before she sneezed.

  “Grandmama!” Penny threw herself at her grandmother, completely ignoring the tall, terrifyingly macabre sorcerer behind her.

  “There, there, dear. It feels like a convention more than a war council. Perhaps I should have worn black leather.”

  Penny laughed, the sound like sunshine and hurters writing our name in the night. “I have some extra if you’d like.”

  Penny’s grandmother shook her head before she clapped her hands turning her sensible black suit into appropriate war gear. It looked a bit odd with her neat bun and pearl earrings. “That contract took years off my life.” She pointed a knobby finger at Penny’s parents short contract. “It would be better if they had no contract, than that one. That one makes it impossible for your mother to kill him. Such a pity.”

  “Is everyone here?” Zach asked, scowling all around. “I’d hate for there to be one evil sorcerer who wasn’t in the heart of my domain.”

  “Daysiders don’t have domains,” Penny’s grandmama said with a frown. “Be precise.”

  Zach raised his eyebrows before he bowed to her and smiled. “I beg your pardon. Do you have any suggestions about what to do with this mess?” He gestured at the desk, littered with what we could gather on the Deception Sorcerer.

  “Of course I have suggestions. You need more.”

  Penny winced. “But I don’t even have a contract with my Darkside fiancé. It took me weeks to make a contract.”

  “You’re talking about Hale’s child,” she said with a nod. “He isn’t ideal, being so young and inexperienced, but he might be more malleable for all of that.”

  “What’s so bad about being young and inexperienced?” I asked because the way those ladies were talking was starting to make me feel insecure.

  “You’re a Daysider. Your life will be short. Darksiders live a very long time. How will he be able to protect her from other sorcerers with more experience in getting what they want?”

  Narcollo cleared his throat. “Hale is the one who arranged the contract with the aberration’s father.”

  “Don’t call her that.” I said, whirling around at him. “She’s not some thing.”

  Penny took my hand and squeezed it. “Thanks,” she whispered.

  I held her hand back and closed my eyes. For a second I let the rest of the world fade away and there was only me and Penny connected at the skin of our palms.

  I could see how it would play out, luring Sooth into the wedding ceremony with a slight gap in our protection that he’d be able to unravel, him coming in and isolating Penny while the armies attacked the guests. He would be slipping through alternate dimensions, realities, until he came to this one. She would have to be tied to the contracts so the moment he touched her, they would engage. Were they enough? Would he rip through them like the paper they were unless I had the weight of Hale, Hale’s Son?

  I opened my eyes and cupped her face. “Penny, do you want to try it? It’s dangerous. It would be safer for you to get engaged to the Darksider, safer now, more uncertain later.”

  She stared at me, the golden specks in her eyes picking up the afternoon lines of light. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

  I smiled at her but she shook her head.

  “No, I mean literally, what’s the worst that could happen?”

  “Oh. Well, your father could lock you up and sell your sanity to various mages when you weren’t living with your Darkside husband. Or he could rip the energy out of you for his own use and kill you. Or he could eat you and keep you alive while absorbing your energy and life force. Or he could…”

  She put her hand over my mouth, her own eyes rather large. “Wow. That’s a lot of worse case scenarios. You’ve obviously put a lot of thought into it. If I married Jr. you think it would definitely be enough to… what would it do exactly?”

  “It would bind your father to my will.
I know it’s hard to believe, but I have a lot of will. It’s very heavy. He would be moderately crushed by it. We should be able to force him to remove your curse, and the curse on the Creagh, and withdraw his designs on you in general.”

  “What about my magic? Could I get it back?”

  I hesitated. Penny with magic. She would go mad like my mother. She would be powerful. No one would be able to tell her what she could or couldn’t do. She would be a force that no one could ever touch. I wanted that. I didn’t want that. I shrugged. Not my choice. “It’s possible. If you weren’t cursed, your mother and you together could bind him in a world of agony. You could force your magic from him. Yes.”

  “But I’d be married to someone else.”

  “Only in Darkside.”

  “But if I was like that, with magic, I’d want to be there, wouldn’t I?”

  I stared at her and my stomach plummeted. “Probably.”

  “Oh. I’d probably be able to kill my husband easily enough.” She winced. “Wow. I could be Pitch all the time.”

  “If you wanted.”

  She stared at me then shook her head. “It’s tempting. Pitch without the empathy. Would you like me like that?”

  “I’m sure I’d adapt. You could join the Creagh. Or start your own band of super assassins like Signore. You could do absolutely anything.”

  Zach laughed, short and hard. “She couldn’t be adorable. You couldn’t love her. Small price though, for ultimate power.”

  “Enough chatter,” Penny’s grandmother said, clapping her hands. “If we’re going to proceed with the ceremony before this time spell ruptures, we should do so. Husband, do you have any pertinent information or useful advice? You’re the one who created Serene and started this chain of dreadful circumstances.”

  He glanced around at us, his eyes hesitating on Penny with a somewhat apprising gleam before he cleared his throat. The sound was like chains dragging across the dungeon of oblivion. Not that I’d been there recently.

  “There might be some unexpected assets of Sooth’s that we aren’t prepared for. Sooth is clever. He knows that the green mage is collecting his debts. He knows about the alliance. He knows about your family, your ‘will’ as you call it. Things are bound to go sideways at some point.”