WHISPERS TO THE HEART

by Kimberley Reeves

  “It wrapped up much sooner than anticipated,” he fibbed. “I was wondering if you were up to a late dinner. If you’ve already eaten, maybe we could just go for a cup of coffee and talk for a while.”

  “Dinner would be nice. I must warn you that I haven’t had anything since this morning and might embarrass you by eating like a horse.”

  “I’ll take my chances,” he said, suddenly feeling the tension leave his body. He hadn’t even realized how uptight he’d been about the possibility she would decline his offer. “I can be there in twenty minutes.”

  “Perfect. That will give me just enough time to change clothes and run a brush through my hair. I’ll see you soon.”

  Rennie hung up and was amazed to discover the fatigue had left her. She felt energized just thinking about being with Mac and all but ran up the stairs to find something nice to wear. She chose a dark blue summer dress because she always felt good in it, more confident. It conformed to her figure, falling just above the knee, and the matching belt emphasized how small her waistline was. She applied some mascara, which was the only make-up she ever wore, then brushed her teeth and hair and went downstairs to wait for Mac. A few minutes later, the butterflies in her stomach took flight once more when she heard him pull up in the driveway.

  “You look incredible,” he said as she let him in.

  “You’re looking extremely handsome yourself, Detective.”

  Expecting him to show up in a suit as he had the day before, she was taken off guard and felt a little breathless when he arrived wearing a pair of snug blue jeans and a black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He looked more than handsome; Mac was devastating and it was nearly impossible to peel her eyes away from him.

  “I'll just grab my purse and we can go.”

  She wasn’t surprised to see that he drove a truck but did have a few qualms about being able to climb into it with any semblance of grace. Mac opened the door for her, solving the problem by gripping her around the waist and effortlessly lifting her into the cab. Once they were on their way, he asked if she preferred Italian or Chinese food.

  “Italian, I think.”

  “Ah, you read my mind,” he said with a wink.

  Rennie groaned. “If you’re going to make psychic jokes all night, you can turn around right now and take me home.”

  The smile he flashed was disarming. “No more jokes, Scout’s Honor.”

  “Somehow I doubt you were ever a Boy Scout.”

  Mac chuckled. “You’re right, but I still promise to behave.”

  They engaged in light banter until arriving at the restaurant. Rennie waited until he came around to help her out, leaning down to place her hands on his broad shoulders while her stomach did a series of somersaults as his warm fingers curled around her waist and lowered her to the ground. For a moment he didn’t let go, his eyes moving over her face as if memorizing each detail.

  “You still look a little tired,” he said with genuine concern. “I was hoping to monopolize your time until the wee hours of the morning, but maybe I should take you home after we eat.”

  “I’m always a little tattered after connecting with a living victim. The emotions are much more intense, but I’m sure I’ll bounce back after eating.”

  Mac reached around her to push the door closed and then took her hand. “Even tattered, you look beautiful. Let’s get you fed and put some color back in your cheeks.”

  She felt positively giddy walking beside him, his large hand engulfing hers, and his sheer masculinity making her tingle all over. He had a great smile and every time he turned it on her, Rennie all but melted. Mac asked to be seated in the back of the restaurant where it was more private, though he needn’t have bothered since there were only two other couples in the place. It was a cozy little restaurant and she liked the atmosphere and soft Italian music playing in the background.

  After they were seated and their orders had been taken, Mac reached across the table and took her hand. His thumb played across the top of her skin, sending a thrill racing through her. Her heart picked up a couple of beats while her breath seemed to have left her completely. She wasn’t used to physical contact and normally shied away from it, but she liked the way Mac made her feel when he touched her and was perfectly content to leave her hand just where it was.

  “Tell me about yourself, Rennie.”

  He asked her all sorts of questions; where she’d grown up, whether she had brothers and sisters, what her parents were like, if she had gone to college, and what she did for a living. Not once did he ask about her psychic abilities. It elated Rennie to know he was interested in her personally and not simply curious about what secret talents she possessed. Subconsciously, she must have been afraid that was what this dinner date was all about because something inside her heart eased and she began to relax.

  “I grew up close to where I live now but my parents retired to Florida years ago. I have two sisters, both married with children, who migrated to Florida to be near my parents.”

  “Why didn’t you move there too?”

  Rennie shrugged. “What I do for a living…disturbs them, so I thought it was best for everyone if I stayed here.”

  “What do you do, if you don’t mind my asking?”

  “I work cold case files for the city.”

  She watched his face closely, waiting for those telltale signs to appear that would declare Mac thought of her as a freak. It never happened.

  “The city?” Mac was mildly surprised since he had never heard of her before she contacted him about Angel. “Does that mean all the precincts or just some of them?”

  Rennie smiled. “If you’re asking whether I have worked cases from your precinct then the answer is yes.”

  “Why is it I haven’t met you before? I’ve never seen you around or heard anyone mention your name.”

  “No, you wouldn’t have. I keep a very low profile. That’s part of the deal.”

  “If you’ve been working with someone at my precinct, why didn’t you call them instead of taking a chance you would get someone who didn’t believe you?”

  She arched a brow. “Like you, you mean?”

  “Yeah, like me,” he conceded with a grin.

  “I couldn’t. It’s important that my role in solving crimes remains hidden from the public. I can’t have my name linked with any of my contacts. I think you can appreciate the kind of reaction people would have to someone like me.”

  Mac lifted her hand to his lips and brushed a soft kiss across her knuckles. “I don’t know about other people, but I can tell you I’m having quite a reaction to you.”

  A slow blush began to work its way up her neck but she was thankfully spared from responding when the waiter brought their dinner. Without the distraction of his hand on hers, she was able to gather her thoughts long enough to steer the conversation into safer waters and asked Mac about his own family.

  “I have four brothers and one very mule-headed sister. I’m the oldest of the lot. There’s Ben, who is an F.B.I. agent. Grant and Ray are both cops, and my youngest brother, Shaun, is a private investigator.”

  “What about your sister?”

  Mac shook his head with a sigh. “Tia is a rambling rose. She’s smart as a whip but can’t seem to figure out what major she wants to stick with in college so she changes it every three or four months.” He laughed softly. “By the time she graduates, she ought to know a little bit about everything.”

  “I imagine you’re a wonderful big brother.”

  “I’d like to think I am.”

  “Are you close with your family?”

  “Very. Mom and Dad own an island. We grew up there with pretty much just the family around for company.”

  “Your parents own an island?”

  Mac shrugged. “It’s not a huge island, but yes, they do.”

  “What about school and friends and dating and all the other things kids normally do? Don’t you feel like you missed out on those things?”

/>   “We weren’t that far from the mainland, only a few hours if we took one of the speedboats. Each of us was home schooled until third grade and then we were sent to a public school.”

  “But that’s a four hour boat ride every day!”

  Mac chuckled at the incredulous look she gave him. “You get used to it. In the mornings, we tossed blankets on the floor of the boat and slept during the ride in, and on the way back to the island, we did our homework. It actually worked out rather well because we had the rest of the evening to do whatever we wanted.”

  “How on earth did you do homework in a speeding boat?”

  “Very carefully,” he grinned. “Needless to say, none of us scored high in penmanship.”

  They spent the rest of the time telling stories about their childhoods and the awful things they had done to their siblings, although he did more talking than she did. Any fond memories Rennie had of childhood ended when she turned fifteen, but she deliberately left that part out to avoid putting a damper on their evening.

  She’d had such a good time, it was disappointing to know the evening was coming to an end, but as they were walking to the parking lot her spirits lifted when Mac asked if she was up for a short drive. They stopped beside the truck and Rennie’s heart did another mad surge when he reached out and ran his hand slowly down her arm.

  “I know a spot just up the coast where we can take a walk on the beach, maybe wade in and get our feet wet.” He slipped his arms around her waist. “But first, I would really, really like to kiss you, Rennie.”

  He didn’t wait for her to respond, but then he didn’t really have to. Her knees were so weak, she practically fell into him. His mouth closed over hers, soft and gentle, but it sent off an explosion inside her head that made the Fourth of July finale seem like a child’s sparkler in comparison. His arms tightened around her, pulling her closer, and another round of explosives went off. Heat radiated from him, sank into her. God, what he was doing to her body! Then his kiss deepened, his tongue probing tentatively until she opened her mouth and gave him what he wanted. What they both wanted.

  Rennie wasn’t sure how long they stood there kissing. She lost all concept of time, all concept of anything really except the feel of his lips on hers and the intense heat that was blazing a trail through her body. She should have been appalled by her behavior, clinging like a human vine to a man she had only known for one day, but she was enjoying it far too much to care. When Mac finally lifted his head, they were both breathing a little erratically.

  “We need to stop,” he said with a sheepish grin, “it’s starting to get extremely…uncomfortable.”

  Rennie gave him a puzzled look. “Uncomfortable? Kissing me is uncomfortable?”

  Mac pressed his hips into hers, chuckling when she let out a small gasp. “I told you I was having quite a reaction to you. Unfortunately for me, I don’t think you’re ready to sleep with me yet.”

  “Yet? You’re very sure of yourself, Detective Logan.”

  He gave her a quick kiss before opening the door and lifting her into the truck. “I think you’ll find that I am not very subtle. I’m also very persistent about getting what I want. That’s not to say I can’t be patient, but I rarely give up, especially when the rewards are so enticing.” He closed the door and came around to the driver’s side, quite pleased to see a pretty blush on Rennie’s cheeks as he climbed in. “Do you still want to go for that drive?”

  She looked down at her hands, carefully avoiding eye contact so he wouldn’t see how scared she was. It had been incredibly obvious just how aroused Mac was when he pressed against her, and it been equally obvious that if they continued to see one another, eventually he would expect her to go to bed with him. How could she tell him that being so intimate with a man terrified her? It had been a mistake to go out with Mac, and it had to end now before she was too emotionally involved.

  Easier said than done, she thought dismally, as a dull ache settled in her chest.

  “Rennie?”

  “I, um, think maybe you should take me home.”

  Mac frowned. “Are you sure?”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. Hell no, she wasn’t sure. She didn’t want the evening to end and she wanted him to kiss her again, but she certainly wasn’t a tease and that is what she would be if she continued to let him kiss her when she had no intention of letting it go any further. She felt miserable at the thought of never seeing him again, but couldn’t seem to conquer her fears and let the relationship progress beyond what it was right now.

  Mac reached across the seat to take her hand and was not only shocked by how cold it was but also how badly it was shaking. “Rennie, honey, I didn’t mean to infer I would try to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. You’re not afraid of me are you?”

  “No, of course not. It’s…the way you make me feel that scares me.”

  “If it’s any consolation, it frightens me too.”

  Rennie looked up, convinced she would see that he was teasing, but the expression on his face was deadly serious. “You don’t strike me as the kind of man who is afraid of anything. How could I possibly make you feel that way?”

  Mac groaned. “I knew you were going to ask me that. Okay, confession time,” he said with a grimace. “I didn’t really have a crime scene to investigate tonight. I was trying to decide if I should go out with you at all because I knew it wasn’t going to be…” He paused, searching for the right words.

  “A hit and run,” she supplied, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. Mac’s booming laughter filled the cab of the truck, warming her with its richness.

  “I admit my past history with relationships lasting more than a night or two isn’t very impressive, but to my credit I did recognize it would be different with you. I’m not going to pretend I don’t want to take you to bed, Rennie, but for the first time in my life I want more than that. I guess that’s what really has me quaking in my boots. Now, it’s your turn. What has you spooked about being with me? Other than the fact you know I’m dying to jump you, that is.”

  Rennie couldn’t help smiling. “I’ve changed my mind. I think I would like to go for that drive to the beach after all. I promise I’ll confess everything when we get there, and if you still want to see me after that, we can talk about where to go from there.”

  “I’ll agree to that. But I think it’s only fair to warn you that I still intend to try and kiss you every chance I get tonight.”

  “I know,” she said softly.

  ***

  He parked up on a ridge and held her hand on the way down the steep embankment to the beach below. For a while they walked in silence, simply enjoying the serenity of the beach and a few stolen kisses. Eventually, Mac coaxed her into sitting down, wasting no time in inching over until he was so close their thighs touched. It had an immediate effect on her, which she suspected was his intention all along when she looked over to discover the cocky grin he was sporting.

  “You think you’re pretty clever don’t you, Mac?”

  His smile broadened. “Whatever to you mean?”

  “You know full well what I mean. You’re trying to keep me off balance so you can seduce me, but it won’t work.”

  He leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “I’m persistent, remember?”

  “And a little intoxicating, so keep your lips to yourself until I’m finished talking.”

  “Intoxicating, huh?”

  “Don’t let it go to your head. Now hush, this is hard enough without you trying to distract me.” Rennie turned her face towards the ocean and drew in a deep breath. “You saw what happened to me when I linked with Angel. That’s how it is with anyone I link with. It’s not like watching a movie where I merely see what they see. I am the victim, Mac. Their fear, their pain, it’s just as real to me as it is to them.”

  “I suspected as much,” he said solemnly.

  “What…whatever happens to them, happens to me. If they get sta
bbed, I feel the blade. If they get shot, I feel the bullet penetrating my skin. And if…if they get sexually assaulted…” Her voice caught and she had to stop, but Rennie knew she had gotten her point across.

  “Oh God, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” Mac put his arms around her, attempting to offer comfort, but she pulled away from him.

  “Don’t,” she choked, “I have to tell you everything first.”

  “Stop trying to be so damn tough and let me hold you,” he snapped.

  Mac’s harsh tone startled her but she was also touched by his concern, and this time when he wrapped his arms around her, she let him.

  “I know this is hard for you relate to, but you’ve seen how it works. You said you could have killed that man when you saw what he was doing to Angel. What I need you to understand is that she wasn’t the only one he was violating. I…felt him, Mac. He was touching me, hurting me, doing all those horrible things to me just as he was to her.”

  She waited for him to move away from her, to give some indication that what she had said was so appalling he couldn’t bear to touch her. But he didn’t do anything except pull her closer, which made Rennie even more miserable. Obviously, he didn’t understand.

  “Mac, what I’m trying to say is that I have been attacked dozens of times by dozens of men so you had better think long and hard about having a relationship with me because that is something you’re going to have to deal with.”

  “But it wasn’t real,” he told her.

  “It was real, Mac, and I feel…unclean because of it. That’s why I’ve steered clear of relationships my whole life.”

  “I know it seemed real, honey, but it wasn’t as if they were really inside of you. You’ve taken on the shame and misguided feelings of guilt the same way a lot of rape victims do.”