by Chelle Bliss
She shared her idea and I couldn’t stop laughing. The glass doors would give the perfect reflection for a snap shot, blurry and imperfect.
“You’re a genius, Suzy,” I said jumping up from my lounge chair.
Kayden: Humor me please…
Me: I don’t have any pictures in my swimsuit. I’ll have to take one.
Kayden: Come on, just do it. For me, please.
Me: Gimme a minute.
I stared into the glass looking at my reflection, fucking genius. The image was muddy and dark, but it would have to do. I snapped a couple of them, picking just the right one, and hit send. I laughed as I walked back to my lounge chair and Suzy.
Kayden: Damn. Your body is amazing. It’s not really clear though. Can you take another one?
Me: Are you zooming in on the photo?
Kayden: Hell yes, but it’s hard to see. You did that on purpose.
Me: You asked for full body shot and I gave it to you.
I smirked knowing how frustrated I just made him. I loved teasing him, the playfulness of all the conversations.
Kayden: I’m not going to get another one, am I?
Me: Nope, that’s all you’re going to get.
Kayden: Why?
Me: I don’t want you seeing everything. Pictures aren’t always kind and can’t be erased.
Kayden: Oh come on, Sophia. You’re perfect.
I wanted to see him naked so badly, I almost salivated at the thought. I had a fantasy of him without clothes, moving over my body, in my body.
Me: Where’s my picture of you… Fair’s fair.
Kayden: I’m working and can’t take one now. I’m all sweaty too.
I never liked the thought of a sweaty man, but Kayden all sweaty fit the scenes that were rolling through my mind.
Me: I want something, anything.
Kayden: Bossy… One second.
A picture filled my screen, him in his work uniform, covered in sweat, standing near a lush garden of tropical plants. I stared at the picture, transfixed by his eyes. The green flecks of his iris matched the color of the leaves framing his face. I was lost in his eyes.
Kayden: Come and see me. It’s summer and you’re off work. Come here, have some fun.
His text pulled me out of my sweaty naked fantasy, pulling me back to reality. Could I take that plunge? I didn’t want to be another fuck—meaningless.
Me: Feel like adding another notch to your bedpost?
My heart stopped as my phone began to ring. Kayden.
“Hey,” I said.
“Sophia, you aren’t a cheap whore. I’ve never thought of you in that way, ever.” I sighed, still unconvinced.
“Kayden, I didn’t mean to make you mad,” I said, closing my eyes, holding my breath.
“You’d didn’t make me mad at all, Sophia. I just want you to know how I feel, what I feel for you. For the first time in a long time, I look forward to waking up. I check my phone and message you before I even crawl out of bed.”
My stomach filled with butterflies, my voice quivered as I spoke. “It’s the same for me, Kayden; I just want to make sure I don’t become just another girl to you. I have to think about it.”
“Sophia, I don’t want another notch on my bedpost. I want to spend time with you. I want to show you this amazing city; you could use a little fun in your life—wipe away the navy blue.” Navy blue, I stopped seeing Bob weeks ago. I couldn’t pretend to be interested anymore. I wanted to be home to talk with Kayden, my fantasies and daydreams were far better than anything Bob could deliver. “I’ll keep my hands to myself… I’ll be a gentleman. Come on, just a weekend.”
“So you don’t want to have sex with me, then?” I covered my mouth. What the fuck did I just say?
“Fuck, yes I do,” he said, causing my core to pulse, “I plan on it, you won’t be able to resist me.” He drew out his last words, my body breaking out in a blanket of goose bumps.
“Well it’s nice to know your self-esteem is still tact,” I said.
“What’s stopping you?” he asked.
“I’m not used to sharing, Kayden. I’ve never slept with anyone that I haven’t been in a relationship with; I need to decide if it’s something I can do.”
“I haven’t seen any other women since I started talking with you. I couldn’t do it. You’re all I think about morning until night, I even dream about you.”
“Oh,” I whispered, my heart pounded in my chest, “I thought when you disappeared, sometimes for an hour, that you were with someone.” My body warmed with the knowledge that he hasn’t been spending time in bed with anyone.
“Baby, I need way more than hour. What kind of men have you been with?” he asked with a chuckle.
“I’ll let you know, soon,” I said.
His breathing increase, “If you don’t come here, I’ll come there, Sophia.”
“Okay Kayden, we’ll see if you can find me first,” I laughed into the phone, “Go back to work.”
I thought all week about spending time with Kayden. The positives outweighed the negatives; I couldn’t deny the pull he had over me. I needed to act on my feelings or break whatever this was off… He was becoming distracting to any possible happy future that maybe waiting on me, not involving him. My heart ached at the thought of Kayden not being in my life. He’s become a fixture, a necessity to me like the air I breathed.
Kayden: Well, since you can’t seem to make up your mind, I came to you Sophia.
Me: What?
My stomach dropped and I could feel my heart beating faster.
Kayden: I told you last week, if you didn’t come to me, then I’d come to you.
Me: You’re lying, you aren’t here.
My heart hammered against my rib cage. I looked out my bedroom window, but didn’t see him.
Me: I don’t see you.
Kayden: Look out the front door.
Fuck, did he really know where I lived? I walked towards the front door, my body shaking.
Kayden: I’m kidding, Sophia, just thought I’d get your heart pounding.
Damn. I felt sadness at his words; I wanted him to be outside my door. My want for him outweighed any fear I had of him.
Me: You’re such a dick.
Kayden: I’m not there now, but I do know where you live.
Me: No you don’t, what’s my address?
My palms grew sweaty against the plastic of my phone as I read my address on the screen. My mouth dropped open in shock.
Me: How?
Kayden: The messenger chat shows where you are when you message me with your phone kiddo.
Fuck. I never paid much attention to the details in the chat window. I knew it said a city, but never knew it showed an exact location. I tapped on his message and I could see the street and location of where he was at this very moment.
Me: OMG. I never knew that. I always thought I was untraceable. I thought this was safe.
Kayden: Are you saying I’m dangerous, Sophia?
I didn’t feel physical danger from Kayden, but I knew he could break my heart.
Me: Nah. I don’t think you would hurt me, but I think you would turn my world upside down. I’ve always steered clear of men like you.
Kayden: No wonder you’re still looking for that great love. You’ve maneuvered yourself to all the wrong men.
Me: Who would be the right type of man?
I wanted Kayden to be the right type, but there was a problem… He didn’t want a girlfriend.
Kayden: You need a little trouble in your life… some excitement. You’ve stayed safe too long, and what did it get you?
Me: Navy Blue.
Kayden: Exactly, time to add some other color, baby doll.
The Great Picture Show
I needed to draw her to New Orleans. I wanted her to see how beautiful and special this city was. I was heading down to Bourbon Street with my roommate, John, to enjoy the best NOLA had to offer.
Sophia: I’ll miss chatting with you all night.
How could she think I could leave her behind? She still hadn’t given me an answer on coming to New Orleans. I’ll tempt her with the sights of the city, the allure in its beauty.
Me: I’m taking you with me Sophia.
Sophia: What do you mean?
Me: I’m going to bring my tablet, take pictures, and send them to you. I want you to experience the city with me.
Sophia: Really? You’re going to give me a tour of the city?
Me: Yes, I want you to see the beauty and the fun. I want you to want to come see me.
John and I headed out the door to catch the street car down Canal Street. I looked around and wanted to start the tour off right.
“Hey John, can you take a picture of me?”
“Sure thing,” John responded as I looked around for a great spot.
My eye caught a large DANGER sign spray painted on a cement separator… perfect. I stood next to the sign and made sure it remained in full view. John snapped the picture, and I quickly walked over to view it. I knew I was dangerous to Sophia, unlike any man she had been with, but I wanted her. I wanted to draw her in as deep as I could.
Me: The start of the tour.
Sophia: Are you trying to tell me something?
I laughed, Sophia knew how my mind worked somehow.
Me: Me? Never.
Sophia: Where to next?
Me: Down to Bourbon Street. Ready? The streetcar is here.
I sent her pictures of the inside of the streetcar and the stops along the route to our final destination. I snapped pictures of the buildings and the people all dressed for a night of fun. I couldn’t even leave the house for an evening and not find a way to make her part of it. I needed to talk with her. I had feelings for her already, but I’ve never met her. I felt a connection with her unlike any I had experienced.
Sophia: It’s beautiful and so different.
I sent her a picture of a beautiful courtyard that was filled with flowers and tables, and a fountain stood in the center of the courtyard flowing with water and glowing.
Me: I want to sit in this exact spot with you and sip on a drink. I want to share all of this with you in person.
Sophia: I’d rather be there with you than sitting on my couch right now.
Me: Look at this.
I spotted a few girls with body paint decorating their bodies. They didn’t have shirts on, but the paint helped mask their nudity. They were taking pictures with random men on the street for money. I snapped a picture from a distance and sent it to her.
Sophia: Wow. They have no shirts on, and that guy is basically grabbing her boob.
Me: Yes, women do it all the time.
Sophia: More pictures please, but maybe less boobs.
Me: Gotcha.
We walked down the heart of the French Quarter and captured as many images as I could to tell her the story of my night. John was very patient and understood my goal of luring Sophia to New Orleans.
“So you really like this girl, huh?” John asked me.
“I do.”
“Giving up on your arrangements then?”
“Yes, she makes me want more. If she is anything in person like what she is like online, then I want her and no one else,” I told him.
“Interesting bro. Do you have a picture of her?” John asked.
“I have a bunch,” I told him as I tapped my tablet a few times until a photo of her standing by the ocean appeared. She was wearing a flowing black tube top and shorts. Her long brown hair was blowing in the wind, and she was wearing sunglasses. I stared at her for a moment, “Here is the first picture I ever saw of her.”
“She’s beautiful, Kayden. I love her hair,” John said to me as he moved his face closer.
“It’s what drew me to with her to begin with. Thank God she didn’t have short hair—I may have never met her then,” I said jokingly.
“Is she going to come here?”
“I’m working on it. That’s why I’m taking these pictures. She’d love it here,” I told him while switching back to camera mode.
“You’ll do it. You’re a persistent bastard,” John said, strolling down the street to get a drink on the next block.
The night flew by quickly, and I sent at least fifty pictures to Sophia. I hoped the virtual tour of the city and experiencing it with me, but from afar, had made her want to come here more than ever.
A Moment of Pause
Me: I’ve decided I’m going to come to New Orleans to see you.
I couldn’t wait any longer. My summer was slipping away. When the school year begins everyone wants to swap stories about their summer trips. As of this moment, the only place I’ve been is the community pool. I wanted that great story, the excitement.
Kayden: Seriously? How about in July? I can take a couple of days off work.
Me: Let’s plan on that. Let me know when you can get off work, and I’ll be there.
Kayden: I can take off anytime I want. How many days do you want to visit?
I’ve never driven to see a man I didn’t know. I didn’t have a wild past filled with men, but I wanted to meet him—I needed to meet him.
How long should I plan to stay in New Orleans? Most of the time I’d set the first meeting to last a couple of hours or over a cup of coffee, but we planned for a long weekend. I would have my own car and a means to exit the city—and his life—if it did not work out, which put my mind at ease. I wanted to get to know him and reminisce about home. It would be a long drive and I wanted time to relax and enjoy before having to return home. I would arrive on Friday and leave on Monday morning so he could go to work. I hoped that the trip and our meeting wouldn’t be a disaster.
Kayden had made it clear in our early conversations that he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend—he was finished with relationships. He’d been burned by women too many times, and wasn’t looking for it to happen again. He wanted a physical relationship with someone, but not an emotional connection or a girlfriend—although I felt a shift in his attitude towards me. I was seeking excitement and he promised just that.
Before we finalized the plans, I told my brother about the upcoming trip. My brother remembered him from high school, but wanted to check him out since it’d been fifteen years.
“I told my brother that I’m coming to see you.”
“What did he say?” Kayden asked.
“He said he had a call to make and immediately hung up on me,” I replied.
“Think he’s calling some of my friends?” he asked.
“No doubt—knowing my brother, he’s looking for any red flags.”
“I have to tell you something first.” Nervousness filled his voice. “I have been arrested and am currently on probation.” was the next statement out of his mouth.
Stunned, I didn’t know what to say or think. He didn’t seem like a criminal, but a hard-working kind-hearted person… probation? Should I run? Fuck. I’d never invited trouble into my life before, but this was Kayden. My brother would find out if there’s a reason for me not to go. I’d wait until he gave me the okay.
“What happened? What did you do?” I implored.
“Well… it’s the reason my last relationship ended. I’m surprised you didn’t find it online.”
Weeks ago I do a search on him, but nothing interesting or notable was found.
“Where’d it happen?” I said.
He told me the location and I instantly searched online with his name and location. All of a sudden my browser was filled with information about his arrest. I skimmed the stories, looking at his mug shot, and trying to absorb the information.
“Please don’t look it up, let me explain what happened first,” he stated very quickly.
Too late, I had already become inundated with the gory details.
“I won’t look it up. What happened?” I asked trying to sound convincing.
Damn, why did I have to read the story? They couldn’t be entirely true.
Kayden recounted the e
ntire evening to me.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Although my body was filled with liquor, my memories of that evening will be seared in my brain forever.
It all spiraled out of control. I had a few drinks with friends after work. I called Lisa to let her know that I was leaving and I’d be home soon. She was livid; she didn’t want me hanging out with friends after work.
“Hey Lisa, baby, I’m on my way home,” I said.
“I told you not to go out tonight. Have you been drinking?” Lisa asked in an accusatory tone.
“I had a couple with the guys, no big deal,” I replied assertively.
“I told you not to drink anymore, let alone hang out with those losers. Don’t fucking come home tonight!” Lisa yelled.
“Where the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight, Lisa?” I asked.
“I don’t give a shit. You’re not welcome here. Don’t come back here tonight or ever. I’m done with your bullshit and lies. You’re an asshole, and not worth the misery anymore. I’m through… we’re through!” Lisa screamed into the phone.
Click. Silence.
I quickly walked out the door, hopped in my work truck, and drove erratically towards home.
“Evening, John. Can you open the gate for me, please?” I asked.
“Sorry sir. Ms. Jackson said that you no longer live with her. I am not to let you in the front gate.”
“John, come on. You know I live here, I didn’t move. She’s just angry with me. Please,” I begged.
“Sorry, nothing I can do about it, sir, unless your name is on the lease, is it?” John asked.
“No, it’s not.” I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.
“Nothing I can do then. I can’t let you into the community if you’re no longer a resident,” John stated to me in a matter-of-fact tone, but with sadness in his eyes.
I had nowhere to go. Even though my mother lived nearby, Lisa had made sure to sever that relationship. I had to be at work tomorrow, and I needed my work clothes from the house. I pulled out of the community and parked my car on the side of the road. I needed time to think.
Where was I going to go? What was I going to do?
The alcohol was coursing through my veins and clouding my judgment. Lisa knew the consequences when she placed that call, I’d be in a panic with no alternatives. I had to find a way into the community.