by Chelle Bliss
Kayden: I’m going to put the Kleenex in my pillowcase. I want to smell you as I drift off to sleep.
I made sure to send as many packages and cards as possible. I wanted him to know that I was always thinking of him. I wanted him to know that he was loved and thought about… even if I couldn’t be with him; he was always with me in my heart.
Laughter is the Spice of Life
Sophia brought so much joy into my life in such a short amount of time. I didn’t want to do anything to lose her. I always find a way to fuck things up. There’s still so much I needed to share with her, things she didn’t know about my past. They’re important details that made me into the person I am today. I had to find the right time to share everything with her, but would there ever be a perfect time?
She sent cards and packages a couple times a week. They gave me something to look forward to after a grueling work day. I filled my pillowcase with the Kleenex she sent me. I wanted to wrap myself in all things Sophia.
There were things I’d already shared with her that I regret. I never would have told her about the women I’ve fucked, the manner in which I handled those relationships, mostly my callousness when it came to love. I never thought we would meet, let alone fall in love with her. She didn’t seem to hold any of it against me. I was thankful that she was forgiving or forgetful.
She made me want to be a better man; I wanted her to be proud of me. I would be the man she deserved and always wanted. She was the most unique woman I have ever known. She had a knack for always making me laugh; even on hard days she found ways to make me laugh.
Me: Hey, beautiful. Can you send me a picture of the two of us?
Sophia: Sure, give me a second to find one on my phone.
Me: Thanks, baby doll. I want something to remind me of our time together. I have plenty of pictures of just you, but I want some of us.
She sent one from our first evening together sitting on steps of a building on Bourbon Street. We both wore goofy grins and had drinks in our hands. A smile crept across my lips remembering the evening.
Sophia: Here’s one of us in the French Quarter.
Me: We have to take more next time we’re together.
Sophia: Yes, I don’t have a ton. We always get wrapped up in other things. We’ll definitely take more next time we’re together.
Me: I need one to put on my nightstand.
Sophia: Just remind me please. Time just seems to go so fast.
The photo popped up on my screen. The glow of the street lights bounced off my shiny head.
Me: Wow. My head is shiny in that picture.
Sophia: I love how smooth it is—and love running my fingertips across it. It’s why I have to wear my sunglasses all the time when I’m with you … the glare kills my eyes.
Me: Smart ass.
I wanted to tickle her, bring her to tears.
Sophia: I read cataracts are caused by head glare, or is it sunshine?
Me: LMAO. Then you’re totally fucked.
Sophia: I know, because I plan to look at that shiny head for a lifetime.
Me: Most people would be insulted, but I know my head is fucking sexy.
I loved her most for her brains, her wit lightning fast. I longed to be with her. I needed to book my ticket to Florida, I couldn’t wait any longer.
Mother Nature: The Bitch
Me: Have you watched the weather forecast at all today?
Kayden: I’ve heard people talking about a hurricane. Is it going to hit New Orleans? I thought it was going to make landfall in Texas.
Me: They’ve changed the location. They’re predicting NOLA now, and it’s supposed to hit the day you’re scheduled to fly out.
Kayden: Fucking unbelievable, I swear I have a black cloud following me around.
Me: You may have to postpone your trip.
I chewed my nails thinking about him being stuck in NOLA during a hurricane. Would I know is he was ok? Visions of Hurricane Katrina filled my mind and made my stomach queasy.
Kayden: I’m not staying in the city if a hurricane is coming. I’ll see if I can cancel my ticket. If one is going to hit they’ll close down the office anyways.
Me: When will you know about work?
Kayden: By morning I’ll know what’s going on.
The storm track never wavered, landfall would be New Orleans. Kayden cancelled his airplane ticket; deciding to drive to get out of the path and to see me.
“I’m getting ready to leave now, babe,” Kayden said over the phone.
“It’s already five here, you worked all day, and it’s a long drive. Are you going to be okay?” I asked.
“I’ll be fine. I have a cooler filled with energy drinks, a bag of candy, and music to keep me awake. Knowing I’ll be with you in a couple of hours will keep me awake.”
“Just drive slowly for God’s sake. I’ll be here waiting, no need to rush.”
“I’ll drive like I always do. I’ll be there in about nine hours.”
“That’s what worries me. Be safe love, I just want you in one piece,” I said, sighing into the phone.
“I’ll text you in a little while and keep you updated on where I am. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Kayden.” I tapped the end button on my phone.
I needed to make myself busy while he drove. I knew he’d be careful, but the radar showed pockets of rain along the Gulf Coast and it would be dark soon. I cleaned my bedroom, straightened up the house, and showered. His text messages were sparse, each one giving me solace.
Kayden: I just crossed the Florida line and stopped for gas.
Me: Not much longer now. I’m tired, how are you going to stay awake?
Kayden: I’m wide awake, babe. Knowing you’re my reward at the end keeps me awake. Lie down for a bit, I’ll text you when I’m close.
Me: I’ll set my alarm in case I fall asleep. I want to be awake when you get here, but I’m reading right now.
My eyes stung and grew heavy with each passing minute until I drifted off to sleep.
I blink a few times to clear the haze that formed on my contacts as I grabbed my phone. Fuck, my alarm never went off.
Kayden: Forty miles away, paying a toll now.
Me: Which station?
Kayden: I have no idea; just know I’m forty miles from you.
My heart pounded in my chest. I had to get out of this bed. I wanted to be outside when he pulled in. I brushed my teeth, covered the dark circles that formed under my eyes and headed outside, book in hand.
It was after one a.m. and the stillness filled the air. The stars twinkled above as the moon illuminated my surrounding. Sitting on the front step, I opened my book, but I couldn’t process the words.
A loud screeching echoed, my head turned to see what caused the vile noise—a white truck rounded the corner. My pulse went into overdrive as soon as I realized that Kayden was in that little white truck.
The truck came to an abrupt stop in the street, he jumped out and I ran down the driveway. I jumped into his arms unable to hold back my excitement.
His work uniform was dirty, his boots untied, and smelled musky from a day of hard work in the sun.
“Surprised you, didn’t I?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. A tear trickled down my cheek onto his shirt, relief flooded me knowing that he was safe.
“I’m gross from working all day, baby doll.”
“I don’t care. I’m just so happy you’re here safely.”
“I need a shower before we crawl into bed,” he said backing away from me.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, you need rest,” I said.
“One thing,” he said.
His hands cupped my face and as he kissed me. Not a passion filled kiss, but one filled with love and relief.
His lips pulled away from mine. “Let me grab my stuff,” he said.
He pulled a small bag from the passenger seat before holding my hand and walking inside with me.
I turned the shower
on for him while he put his bag in my room, not wanting to waste a moment. While he showered I undressed and crawled into bed. I heard the shower turn off and my bedroom door opened. Crawling in next to me, I could instantly feel the warmth of his skin.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I whispered to him as he hovered over my lips.
“I’m happy to be here with you,” he replied and then kissed me passionately and with hunger.
“I love you, Kayden,” I said to him as I melted into his arms.
“I love you, too. Sweet dreams, beautiful,” Kayden said as he kissed the top of my head and stroked my arm lightly with his fingertips.
I woke before Kayden as I often did. I watched him for a minute before rolling over trying not to wake him. I put my robe on and grabbed my glasses. I started the coffee and pulled all of the ingredients out of the refrigerator for breakfast. I wanted to surprise him and I knew he’d be starving when he woke up.
Suzy emerged from her room when the scent of bacon and eggs must have drifted under her door. “Morning, Suzy,” I said cheerfully as I continued to prepare breakfast.
“Kayden make it in okay? Although… I don’t really even have to really ask, since you’re so happy and cheerful this morning,” she said with a chuckle, rubbing her eyes and stretching in the living room.
“Yeah, he finally made it in around one thirty,” I said to her as I moved around the kitchen, prepping the toast and pouring the orange juice. “Would you like to have breakfast with us, Suz?”
“Really? That would be great. What do you want me to do to help?”
Suzy finished the eggs while I went to wake Kayden.
I opened the door and stood in the doorway for a moment. He slept peacefully, lying on his back with the blankets pulled up to his chin, holding a pillow in his arms. I sat down on the bed next to him and kissed his lips.
“Good Morning, handsome,” I said to him in a whisper just loud enough to wake him but not startle him. “Breakfast is ready.”
“Morning, baby. I thought I was dreaming for a minute. I was scared to open my eyes and not be in your bed,” he said as he reached out and stroked my cheek.
“I’m here, baby. Not dreaming this time.” I said to him as I moved the covers off of his body to expose his naked flesh. “Come on, we can have breakfast before we decide what to do today.”
He grabbed me, pulling me on top of him, holding me tightly against his hot flesh.
“Stop, Kayden. If we fool around now, Suzy will ruin the breakfast,” I said to him while trying get out of his grip.
“It’s okay. Who needs food when I have you to eat?” Kayden said kissing my neck.
“Oh, you’re going to need your protein for what I’ve planned for you today, sweetie.”
“Don’t say another word. What are we waiting for?” Kayden said to me as he pushed me gently off his body and sat up.
“You’re too easy. Promise of sex and you’ll do anything,” I said to him while trying to sit up.
“Only when it comes to you.... I’m starving. I only ate junk food on the way here,” he said as he rose from the bed and gave me a full view of his body. He reached in his bag, pulling out a pair of shorts. He opened the door, walked out, and left me behind.
I could hear him and Suzy chatting in the kitchen. Even though Kayden and Suzy had only spent a short period of time together in person, they both knew a lot about each other. Our time on Skype had helped us all form a bond. We sat at the table and talked. The chatter didn’t stop during breakfast, and we all cleaned the kitchen together.
“What’s on tap for you two today?” Suzy asked placing the last plate in the dishwasher.
“Sophia said I needed my protein for whatever she has planned,” Kayden said with a grin on his face.
“I’m keeping him locked up in my room all day. We aren’t leaving the bed unless we need to eat. I want him to relax and I want him all to myself,” I said to Suzy while staring at Kayden.
“Well, have fun. I have a ton to do today,” she said walking into her room.
I had rented some movies before he left New Orleans. He worked seven days a week and needed a couple days to recuperate.
“What do you have up your sleeve?” he asked me with a look of intrigue in his eyes following me into the bedroom.
“I want to stay in bed and have you hold me all day. I rented some movies for us to watch. Oh, and make love, of course,” I said to him as I stripped off my clothes and climbed into bed.
“Anything you want, baby doll,” he said as he stripped off his shorts and crawled in next to me.
He made love to me, slowly grinding into me—face to face. I needed slow and sensual, it had been too long since I felt one with Kayden.
We both drifted in and out of sleep the rest of the day. He was like a tranquilizer… I couldn’t stay awake snuggled in his arms.
The day was going too fast for me, but it always did when Kayden and I were together.
“Want to go grab something to eat?” I asked Kayden as I checked the time on my phone.
“Sure, I’d love a good cheeseburger,” he said to me as he began to sit up.
“There’s a place a couple of minutes away… they make great burgers,” I said crawling off the bed.
On the way to the restaurant his phone began to ring.
“Shit, it’s work. Should I answer it?” he asked.
“You better see what they want,” I said, although I didn’t mean a word of it.
“Hello,” he said.
Kayden listened to the person on the other end before responding. “I just got here early this morning, can’t it wait a day?” His eyes darted to mine.
“Mother fucker,” I muttered to myself turning my head to look out the window.
“But I had this weekend off before the storm,” Kayden said.
“Fine,” he said. “I’ll leave in the morning.”
He threw his phone down on the seat between his legs.
“I’m sorry, baby doll.”
“You were supposed to have the whole weekend.” I pouted.
“My boss said the storm has passed and everyone is needed to make repairs.” He ran his palm across his face. “He said he would make it up to me.”
“It’s fucking unbelievable, you just got here.” Tears began to stream down my face.
“I don’t have a choice. He said I have to come back,” Kayden said. “At least we’ve had some time together.”
“I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I thought we had a couple more days together, at least. You drove so far to see me and now you have to make the drive back already. I wanted you to have time to rest,” I said to him while trying to get the tears to stop falling.
“Today has been great. It did more for me than you’ll ever know. I promise I will be back as soon as I can… It may be three weeks, though, but first chance I get I’ll be on a plane to you,” he said, trying to seem upbeat.
I couldn’t do anything but think about him leaving so soon. The mood had been ruined. We barely spoke at the restaurant; he tried to soothe me with loving touches. As soon as we returned home, I wrapped myself around his body and tried to crawl inside him. I could never be close enough, and this time tomorrow he would be back in NOLA. He made love to me that night, tears streaked down my cheeks the entire time.
I slept horribly that night. Every time I woke up, I cried. My night had been restless and tortured. My eyes were puffy from tears and I tried to prolong his departure. I didn’t want to say goodbye.
When he drove away I almost collapsed. When I knew he could no longer see me I hunched over and sobbed, my tears falling on to the cement. To have him ripped from me in a blink of an eye was excruciating.
It’s Bullshit… Absence Doesn’t Make the Heart Grow Fonder
I didn’t want to leave her so soon. I knew that I would not be able to make it back for at least thirty days, but I prayed I was wrong. It all depended on the amount of destruction the city sustained duri
ng the storm. I had driven over eighteen hours during the last couple days to see Sophia. Every moment of the drive was worth even the little time I was able to spend with her.
The journey home seemed so much longer. When I entered the city I was able to see some damage. Trees were knocked down, some neighborhoods had no electricity, street signs were blown away, and debris littered the roadways. It could have been so much worse. The city was breathing a sigh of relief. Many anticipated the storm to be so much worse, especially since it was on the exact anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I sent pictures to Sophia of everything I saw when I returned. We tried to Skype before we went to bed, but the internet connection was too sketchy due to the storm damage.
I sent her a photo the next morning on my way to work. I snapped one of me exiting my apartment with a smile on my face. I wanted her to think I was all right even though I was a mess inside. I wanted to make her smile when she opened her eyes this morning. When my phone dinged I thought Sophia was awake and responding to my photo. I was wrong … dead wrong.
It was my ex-girlfriend—the woman that had me thrown in jail and discarded me like a piece of trash. Why couldn’t she just leave me alone? There was a no-contact order in place between us; she was able to contact me all she wanted, but I wasn’t supposed to respond. I ignored the message and went into my account and blocked her from sending further messages. I read her message before deleting it from my account.
Lisa: I saw your picture of your new girlfriend on your timeline. She’s not your type.
What a fucking bitch. I didn’t have a type; I loved them all. She must be watching me. Not a good sign for Sophia or myself. She was destructive.
Lisa: Where’s my money?
I wanted to reply to her, but I’d promised Sophia that I’d ignore any message she sent to me. When I stopped for gas I blocked her on my account. Fuck her and her messages. Lisa was my past, Sophia is my future.
Work kept me busy; I had to work the evening I returned home. The storm had damaged the city, but not in the way Katrina had years ago. Trees were down and roofing shingles blown about. The levies held and the city didn’t flood. I immersed myself in my work, trying to keep my mind off the time I missed with Sophia.