Wow. This is more than I could have ever imagined. Sure, I had a feeling she was going to confide in me about him cheating. But divorce? Already? I wasn’t expecting that. And I sure as hell wasn’t expecting her to tell me Nick is going to marry his mistress already. While he hasn’t always been the most attentive husband, I wouldn’t have thought him to be a complete jack ass.
“Holy shit, Mel.” What else can I say? I sit up and throw my arms around my friend. She holds onto me, crying quietly into my shoulder. No more sobs and whimpering, just silent tears. After a few minutes, she releases me and I sit down next to her on the sofa, careful not to disturb her watch dogs.
“I found out Friday night. Although, I guess I’d always suspected.” Deep down, maybe I did to but I don’t share this with her. “After I left you with Matt, I called Nick. He said he had about a couple hours left of work and would pick us up some dessert on his way home. I was almost here when I thought I’d surprise him. Take dessert to him, you know.” God, I want to kill him. Or at least, chop off his sac. “So I got us some Ben & Jerry’s and went to his office. When I pulled in, I saw them. Nick and one of the other partners, who I know very well by the way. He had her pinned against her car. They had their arms around each other and they were talking. I parked across from them and a few cars down and they didn’t even notice me. They just went on about their business, without a care in the world that both of them were cheating bastards. Talking, kissing. I went from shocked, to disgusted, to hurt, to angry. I got out of the car, and walked over to them.”
“Oh, God!” My hands shoot up, covering my mouth. “What did you do?” The sound is muffled through my fingers but she hears me.
“I called him a fucking asshole, and I socked her in the face,” she explains. I glance down at her hand, and sure enough, I see the yellowed skin of healing bruises. “Just a little F.Y.I., no matter how much you want to, I wouldn’t recommend hitting someone. That shit hurt like a son of a bitch. But I didn’t let it show. No way. I told him he had an hour tops to get home, pack his shit, and get the fuck out. I walked back to the car and went home.”
“I’m so sorry, Melly,” I begin, but she cuts me off.
“He wasn’t but ten minutes behind me. Fucking bastard had the nerve to tell me he talked her out of pressing charges. Like I could give a fuck.” She rips tissues into pieces. “Before he packed, he gave me the gory details. They spend a lot of time together at work. More time than we do obviously.” She rolls her eyes. “He planned on telling me during winter break. He thought it would give me time to recover before getting back to work. How fucking considerate of him. He already had divorce papers drawn up, giving me a good chunk of change in alimony every month. He paid off the house, and he’s letting me keep it. My car too. He really took care of me. Like a fucking sugar daddy. Can’t complain, huh.” She throws her hands up. “So I’ll be alone now. Big fucking deal. It’s not like I wasn’t alone most of the time anyway. Now, I just don’t have to pick up anyone’s dry cleaning or shave my damn legs. I don’t even have to work if I don’t want to, he set me up that good.”
I give her a forced smile, not sure what to say.
“Well I think that sums it up. Got any questions?” she asks.
“Want some Nyquil?” I joke, trying to lighten up the mood.
“Huh?” She chuckles. So good to hear her laugh.
“I seriously thought you were sick so I stopped and got you some soup and about twenty different types of drugs. I can go get us some wine and chocolate.”
“What I really need is a shower. Don’t go anywhere okay, Shel. I’ll be right out.” She stands and starts plucking up pieces of tissue off the sofa. It looks like a Kleenex grenade went off in here.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get this. Just go enjoy your shower. I’m not going anywhere.”
As soon as she disappears down the hall, I get to work cleaning up her mess of wadded up tears and folding the four blankets she tried to hide herself in. I also turn on some lights. The house is warm and dark, and she could use some light right now.
In the kitchen, I put my drugstore back into the bag so she’s not tempted to have a cocktail of pain killers, antihistamines, and cough syrup. I’ll just take these home with me. I get some bowls out to serve the soup, and open a bottle of wine for her. I look in her fridge but she’s out of beer. Shit. I guess I’ll just pretend to have a little class tonight so I pour myself a glass too. I take a sip and the dry bitterness irritates my taste buds.
I notice Mer Der's dishes are almost empty so I refil their water and open a new can of dog food, dividing it between both of their bowls. They must recognize the sound of the can opener or smell the food because I hear the tapping of their paws on the floor before they reach the kitchen. Once I put the containers on the floor, they go to work lapping up water and chomping at their dinner.
I can hear my cell buzzing in my bag. I fish it out and answer, “Hi.”
“Hey, Shel. Where you been? I tried to call you a few times. You’re not bugging out on me already, are you?” Matty’s voice is just what I needed to hear.
“Oh son of shitsicle, Matty. I’m kind of having a crisis right now. Mel’s … uh.” I’m not sure what to say. “Uh … Mel’s having some problems with Nick. So I’m here with her, trying to … I don’t know. I guess just being here for her. As much as I can be, I guess, without beer and chocolate.” I’m babbling, I know. But, what the hell can I say without telling him the whole story? It’s not mine to tell, even though I doubt Mel would mind if I told him.
“Oh. I’m sorry. Is she okay? Is there anything I can do?” he asks. I’m certain we could ask him for anything and he’d do what he could to make it happen. It’s just there isn’t anything. Unfortunately. I’m still not certain what I’m supposed to be doing.
“She’s doing the best she can. I’m just happy to hear your voice. Everything is a big fucking mess,” I explain, trying to get the words out as my throat tightens and tears threaten to spill down my cheeks.
“Well, you know I’m here if you need me. Call me, anytime. It doesn’t matter how late.”
“Okay, thanks, Matty. I’ll come by to visit you during lunch tomorrow.”
“Sounds good.”
“See you.”
“Bye.”
I really want to see him. I wish he could drop by for a quick hug and I think I’d feel much better.
Mel and I are just finishing dinner when I get a text from Matty.
Left you a surprise at Mel’s door. Hope this helps. C U 2mro!
“Is that your hot piece of ass? You should go home and have him come over,” Mel tells me.
“You’re dumb. I’m staying here. He said he left us something,” I respond. I first go over to the window to see if he’s here. He’s not. Unless, he’s stalking us from far away with binoculars or something. Creepy. But I do see a bag on Mel’s welcome mat. I open the door and bend down to open the bag. Holy shit. Matty is my hero.
“What is it?” Mel asks, as I return with the bag.
“He brought you some more wine. Me some beer. And for both of us … chocolate and rice crispies,” I announce, taking each item out and setting them on the table.
“He's sharing his goods with me too. Did you tell him what happened?” Mel asks.
“No, I didn't,” I tell her, and explain I only said enough for him to know something was up.
“Oh, Shel, he better at least get a blow job for this,” she says, as she opens up another bottle of wine. We giggle, and it’s nice to know she hasn’t lost her sense of humor.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You better not screw this up. We’ve both had assholes in our lives. Matt is amazing. Don’t think he’s always going to be there waiting for you to make up your mind. Be good to him. He deserves it. And you deserve to allow yourself to be happy,” she scolds me with a stern look on her face.
“Thanks.” I pop the cap off my Hef. “I think.”
; “Just don’t jack this up. I’m serious.” Her eyes are intense, and I know this means a lot to her. She’s right. Chase is an ass who dumped me. Nick is an ass who dumped her. I should be happy to have someone like Matty so interested in me.
“Don’t worry. I get the message. Now, shut up and give me some chocolate.” I grab a bag of little Dove bars out from under her.
She snags the bag out of my hands before I can stop her. “Your husband didn’t cheat on you and ask you for a divorce. You didn’t earn any chocolates. These are mine, beeyotch.” It’s good to see she’s eating. She’s lost weight this past week. It’s painfully obvious. The girl has always been a size four and rarely gains a pound. She eats like a sumo wrestler and has the metabolism of a speed freak. And without eating this week, she looks a size smaller. Thankfully, Matty’s chocolates will replenish some of the calories she’s in need of.
“Can’t argue with that. God, I wish I could’ve seen you punch her.” I look up trying to imagine what it would be like to see my best friend throw a right hook at some bimbo in a cheesy pant suit.
“You’re telling me. I wish I could see it on YouTube right now. How bad ass would that be?” We both snicker at the thought. “I wonder how many hits it’d get.”
“A ton. It’d probably trend on Twitter,” I say, laughing. Both Mel and I stuff a chocolate in our mouths and enjoy the melting sweetness with silence. I take one of the blue foiled treats in my hands, and stare at it, warm flutters move through my belly. I'll save this for later. Mel tosses me another little square chocolate, and I ask her, “Are you sure you’re alright? Is there something you want me to do?” She seems fine now, but I don’t think a shower can fix all the pain I walked in on earlier.
Mel downs the last of her wine. “I’ve been crying since Friday. I’ve been dying to talk to you about it and now that I have, I feel better. I already told my mom. I don’t need to personally tell anyone else, so I’m good.”
“You sure?”
“Totally. I can’t mourn this forever. It’s not like it was a shock. Fuck it. I’m gonna go out and find myself my own piece of ass.” I almost spit out my beer and she continues, “And not just one either. I can’t remember what it’s like to have good sex. I’m going to have fun remembering. I think I’ll find some young guys too. I’m not old enough to be a cougar, so you can call me a cheetah.” We both laugh, until Mel starts snorting.
“You’re crazy, Melly.”
“I’m serious. I’m gonna find some guy to set up camp with his face in my twat. All the twenty-somethings out there better watch out. This bitch is on the prowl.”
I raise my brows at her.
“Okay, late twenties. Nothing younger. I teach all day. I don’t want to have to teach at night too,” she says, unwrapping another chocolate.
“Alrighty then,” I say, wide-eyed.
“Hey, you wanna come with me to get a Brazilian?” she asks.
For the second time tonight, I almost spit out my beer. “Excuse me?”
“And I’m not talkin’ about the blowout either,” she says, trying to clear up any confusion on my part. I wasn’t confused though. I know exactly what she means. The idea of having all the hair ripped from down there just doesn’t sound appealing to me. I can barely handle the hurt of getting the lips on my face done, I can’t imagine waxing the lips down there too. I’d have to get an epidural or something to manage the pain. No thank you. And while I love my best friend and understand she’s feeling like crap right now, I really have no intention of holding her legs to her ears while someone plucks her like a chicken.
Somehow, I think Mel is going to survive this little bump in the road just fine.
Chapter Ten
I’m back to eating in the staff lounge. Mel is tired of being cooped up in our classrooms. “We need to be around people. Making fun of everyone will make me feel better,” she had said, pleading with me. Talking crap in private just isn’t fun enough for her. She likes to do it right in front of her assailant’s face. Everyone knows her, so it’s not like it’s a surprise to anyone. Most of the people she clowns on deserve it anyway.
Take Mr. Viagra—not his real name but really no man his age should be using it—for instance, he makes his rounds at all the tables with ladies at them. One day, he’s sitting with the fresh crop of just out of college teachers. The next day, he’s hitting on the secretaries. And the next, he’s paying some attention to the more “seasoned” teachers. Well, I guess he doesn’t discriminate. He thinks he’s some kind of Hugh Hefner though. How can you watch an old PE teacher like him, who’s been wearing the same polyester shorts since I was a student here, and not poke fun? Poke fun! Ha! Poke fun at Mr. Viagra. I crack myself up.
And guess what? Mel does feel better. A lot better. She is so much better at being dumped than I am. Her strength amazes me over and over again.
“I can’t wait for today to be over,” I tell Mel and Matty. “Two weeks without grading. Two weeks of just pure non-interrupted love of … ”
“Me.” I look over. Really? Chase sits next to me and says, “Sorry, I just couldn’t help it.”
I steal a glance at Matty, who doesn’t seem rattled in the slightest. “I was gonna say non-interrupted love of sleep. This morning, I wanted to throw my alarm against the wall. I’m so tired.”
“Well, if you weren’t having sleepovers during the week, maybe you could get some rest,” Mel says, winking at me. Matty grins. Okay, so we haven't kept to our hands-off during the work week agreement.
“How cute. You and Mel have been going old school staying up all night talking about boys and washing each other’s hair,” Chase replies, with his boyish little fake smile.
Mel shakes her head. “Oh no. Not me. I’m not the one sleeping over.”
“Who then?” Chase looks at me confused.
“I don’t think it’s any of your business.” I take a sip of my Diet Coke and sneak another peek at Matty. The left side of his mouth turns upward in a smile. I smile back at him, and take a bite of my Classic Chicken burrito from El Pollo Loco. Yummy.
Chase pounds his hand down on the table. “Well, I think it is.” People stop and stare at us. He glares at me. I catch a glimpse of Summer in the corner of my eye. She's yanking out my hair with her eyes, and I raise my hands, as if to say, I don't know what his problem is.
“Chase, stop acting like an ass,” Mel tells him. “Summer’s giving you the evil eye, so run along.”
She's giving me the stink eye, not him.
He slides his chair out and leaves.
“Dude, he is so stupid,” I say. I can’t believe I was in love with such an idiot. Wait. I can’t believe I am in love with that idiot. Am I still in love with him? No, I don’t think so. Or maybe. I don’t know. Or do I? Oh crap, I’m so confused.
My unsorted feelings for Chase are diminishing. I can see it, feel it. But something still hits me when I see him or hear his voice. I need it to go away. Quickly. So I can move on with my non-relationship with Matty.
“Thanks for not saying anything, Matty.” How he keeps his composure around Chase is beyond me.
“I told you, he doesn’t bother me. But, if he raises his voice to you again, I don’t care if we’re at work. I will say something. I won’t allow him to treat you badly.” Matty reaches over and puts his hand on mine. Without thinking, I yank my hand away. The look on his face kills me. Why did I do that? I’m so stupid.
Jacob, another history teacher, joins us, turning a chair backward and sitting down with his hands resting on the back of the seat.
“Hey, what’s up?” he says, looking to each of us. I want to thank him for the distraction. Maybe Matty will forget I just snubbed him, unintentionally.
“Hi,” Mel says. “What are you up to?”
Matty and I nod at him.
“I just wanted to see what you’re up to during break, Shelly,” he says, and when I hear my name, my head pops up from my burrito to look at him. “I thought maybe we could get tog
ether.”
“Really?” I say. Am I being Punk’d? First Chase. Now this. Matty is going to stop talking to me.
“Yeah, really,” he says, smiling at me like we’re the only two people at the table.
Matty sits forward at the table and interrupts Jacob’s googly eyes. “I think it’s a fantastic idea,” he announces. What in the world. “Mel and I have been telling her for so long to get out and have a good time since … well, you know. Go for it, Shel.”
If looks could kill, Matty would drop dead right now. What’s he thinking? He can’t be thinking. No man in his right mind would send the girl he is not-seeing on a date with another man. But he’s asking for it.
“Sure, Jacob, why not? Call me,” I respond through gritted teeth. I take his cell from his hands and program my number in it.
“Great,” he says, rising to his feet. “I’ll call you later.”
The bell rings and we make our way out of the lounge. Mel seems as stunned as I do, speechless for the first time, and heading to the ladies room. Matty and I walk to our rooms. I wonder who will say something first. He’s not so here I go.
“What were you thinking?” I ask.
His silence is anything but golden.
“Matty, come on,” I urge him. “You just set me up on a date I don’t want to go on. I don’t want to see anyone else.”
“Yes, you do,” he says. “You’re going to question what we have until you know you’re not missing anything and until you get over Chase. So try it. I’m not worried. Go for it.”
“Fine, I’ll go, and when I’m home early from where ever Jacob takes me, you better be ready to let me prove to you how much I really don’t need to date anyone else,” I sneer, poking him in the chest.
“Wow, sounds good. Maybe you should go on a lot of dates with other men more often.” He leans over and whispers in my ear, “How exactly are you going to prove it to me?”
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