Against The Wall

by Julie Prestsater

  “So what do you say, Shel? How about we go out for dinner?” Jackson asks me.

  The entire table silently awaits my answer. I glance at Mel, who has a raised brow. My brother puts his head down. Matty looks straight ahead.

  “Yeah, why not,” I answer. Jackson is just the type of hot guy who might finally have Matty worried. I just wish the hot guy wasn’t one of his friends.

  “Cool,” Jackson says, “I’ll get your number from Fuller.”

  “Well, I’ll look forward to hearing from you,” I manage to say. What the heck did I just do? I take a long sip of my water.

  “Shall we go then?” Tyler asks, thankfully breaking the awkward silence.

  Mel and I both say, “Sounds good.”

  We make our way out of the booth, Tyler and Matty take care of the bill, we say our farewells, and we’re out.

  Mel texts me on our way home to tell me they’re going back to her place. Great. Just what I need right now. Some alone time with the friend slash unofficial boyfriend. Well, that was want I wanted but now I’m not so sure. I’m such an idiot.

  “Are you going to say anything?” he asks me, after we buckle up in the car. “Stop worrying, Shel. I’m not angry.” He puts his hand on mine and squeezes.

  “How can you not be? I’m even angry with me.” He was right. I really had no intention of looking for someone else to date. And Jacob just happened to be a little blip. But now, I’m going out with one of Matty’s friends. That’s an all time low for me.

  He looks straight ahead as he drives, every so often glancing over at me, and still holding my hand. “Don’t be. I’m cool with this, really.”

  “Why?” I don’t get how this doesn’t bother him. I’d be having a fit if he was going out with another girl.

  “You need to do this. Jacob wasn’t really a date. And you’re still afraid what we have is just a rebound. I know it’s not, but you don’t. Go out with other guys, and see what happens. If you feel something for someone else, then I was wrong. You were right. I just don’t want you to play the ‘what if’ game. Figure it out. We can’t move forward till you do.”

  I mull this over in my head. Matty is right again. I’m fairly certain I already know what I’m going to find out, but I’m happy he’s given me the chance to work it through on my own. Jackson is just the kind of guy to help too. He’s really good looking and he doesn’t work with me.

  “I do have one stipulation though,” he says. “I don’t mind if you go out with Jackson or whoever else a few times, but if it gets to the point where you get physical, you have to tell me. You can’t expect me to sleep with you every night when you’re having sex with someone else.”

  I turn to him, putting my hand on top of his. “I can’t imagine even kissing someone other than you, and you think I’m going to go off screwing someone.” Tears start to fill my eyes. I know I’m being silly, but it almost feels like we’re breaking up, even though I know we’re not together. This whole situation is just odd, and I feel miles away from Matty when he’s sitting right next to me.

  We pull up to the front of my house, he gets out, and comes to my door. I get out and he scoops me up in a tight hold. He whispers in my ear, “I don’t think you want to screw anyone. I just want to be clear of my feelings. I love you, Shelly, and I’m willing to let you go so you can love me back.”

  “But what if I already do?” I mutter into his neck.

  “Again, I don’t ‘want ifs’, Shel. I need you to be as confident as I am. And when you are, all this bull shit will be worth it.”

  As we walk up the pathway to my condo, I tell him, “You’re going to feel like a dumb ass when your friend sweeps me off my feet and we end up in Vegas.”

  He chuckles a bit before saying, “I’ll risk it.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jackson called. Two days after we all went out to breakfast. I think this is a bad idea, but I’m going anyway.

  When Matty and I started our little fling, I knew I had strong feelings for him. He was my close friend and we got along so well. I was unsure though. Unsure if the strength of those feelings was based on my attraction to him as a friend or as a boyfriend. Or maybe I was attracted to him because he was attracted to me and Chase had just dumped me after ten years. It’s always a boost to the ego for someone to show interest in you after such a nightmare.

  Alright, my feelings for Matt Fuller are about more than him just boosting my ego. He’s a great guy and I’ve never had such a good time with anyone in my life, including Chase. Matty knows more about me than I know about myself half the time, and understands all the little things that make me tick. I feel so alive when I’m with him. I don’t know. This whole thing is just too effing crazy to even believe. What kind of guy sends his girl on a date with someone else?

  I consider what he told me. He loves me enough to let me go. Very sweet. Do I deserve a guy who loves me in such a way? He deserves a girl who will tell him she loves him so much she doesn’t need to be let go.

  “So where are you going?” Mel yells to me.

  From the closet, I shout back, “Yard House. I’m meeting him there.”

  “Meeting him. You’re already dooming this date before it starts.”

  I come out in fitted jeans and a black dolmon top with a silver tank underneath. “Is this too much? Does it make me look like I want him?”

  “Why don’t you just cancel?” she asks. “Don’t you think it’s rude you’re totally using this guy? You know it’s not gonna work and you’re gonna run back to Matt.”

  “I’m not using him,” I squeal. “I’m totally gonna give this a shot and if it doesn’t work, then I get to prove to Matty I really like him and want to be with him.”

  Mel picks out a string of beads and hands them to me. “Are you trying to prove it to Matty or yourself?”

  “STFU, Mel.” I flip her the bird. She knows me too effing well.

  “Well, you look great. So you better hurry up and get going. The man not of your dreams awaits.”

  “Oh he’s the man of my dreams alright. I’ve been thinking about Jackson for the last two nights.”

  Mel pushes my bag into my hands and starts walking me down the hall. “Those were your nightmares, Shel, not your dreams.”

  We both laugh at her joke. “Bitch!”

  “Have fun. But not too much fun because I don’t care if you decide to marry this guy. He’s not going with us to the New Year’s Eve party tomorrow.”

  “If I have too much fun, I may not want to go to the fucking party. So take that,” I snap at her.

  “Bye, Shel.”

  I flip her off again as I walk to my car.

  I walk into heaven, take a deep breath and head to the bar. I always eat in the bar area at the Yard House. I figure the closer you are to the bar, the quicker you get your drinks. It’s not necessary tonight though. I’m driving so I will stick to my one beer limit.

  My eyes take in the crowd and I spot a hand going up. Jackson. He has a booth. Perfect. We can sit across a large table from each other.

  My stomach tightens as I get closer to him, and my smile is so fake I hope I don’t look like I put Vaseline on my teeth.

  Jackson stands to greet me and I get a good look at his outfit. This man has some style. He has on perfectly fitted jeans slung low across his waist, but not so low he needs to wear a pair of basketball shorts to cover his ass. A dress shirt is barely visible under a soft, maybe cashmere, v-neck sweater. His sleeves are pushed up revealing a dragon tat on his very muscular forearm. He’s even better looking than I remembered.

  “Hi, Shelly, great to see you again.” He comes toward me for a hug, and kisses me on the cheek. Oh, okay. He’s just a hair taller than me and I notice his blue eyes. They’re not as striking as Matty’s. A little dull, but pretty all the same.

  “Nice to see you too,” I say, sliding into the booth.

  I smile like a circus clown because I don’t know what else to do or say. Instead, I steal glance
s at his short dark hair. He’s working one of those messy but styled looks.

  Jackson finally breaks the silence. “I ordered us a few beers and the spinach dip to start off with. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Oh, sounds great. I’ve had the dip before. Good stuff.” I nod in agreement.

  The server stops by with our drinks. “Two Honey Blondes,” she says, putting the pints on the table.

  Are you effing kidding me? HONEY BLONDES! Son of a bitch on a stick.

  “Excuse me one second,” I say, slipping out of the booth.

  I charge to the bathroom and fling open the door. Setting my bag on the sink, I dig around for my cell and yank it open.

  HONEY BLONDE! He ordrd me a HONEY BLONDE! Cld thr b a weaker beer! R U FUCKING w/ me? Risk, my ass! u knw this wldnt work. Now get me out of it!

  I snap the cell shut, and stare at my reflection in the mirror. What have I gotten myself into? Poor Jackson. I need to find him a woman. Someone who prefers weak ass beer.

  I don’t wait for Matty to text back. I’m going to kick his ass when I see him.

  I weave through the crowds and back to Jackson.

  “Sorry about that,” I tell him. “Now, where were we?”

  “I already got started on the dip. It’s delicious. You should try it.”

  Anything that will get me out of small talk. I take a chip and scoop up some cheesy spinach. The server comes by to check on us again. “How we doing here? Can I get you anything? Refill for you?” She gestures to Jackson.

  I notice his beer is drained. I push my completely full pint toward him. “How about you take mine.” I turn to the server, “Can I get a the darkest beer you have?” I smile. “Thanks.”

  “So,” Jackson begins, “You’re a teacher. How do you like it?”

  “I love it actually. It never gets old, that’s for sure. Every year is a new beginning with a new set of kids. Come to think of it, each period is a new beginning. Each class is just so different. It’s like Forest Gump.”

  He gulps some of his brew. “How so?”

  “You know, box of chocolates … yada yada.” I stuff my mouth with spinach dip.

  “Got it,” he says, with a light chuckle. He’d be so cute if he didn’t have that nasty beer in his hands. May as well be a wine cooler. I should give him Jacob’s number.

  The server brings over my beer and I almost hug her. Instead, I just say, “Thank you,” and take the glass from her hand before it even makes it to the table. I take a swig and my belly gets warm with happiness.

  “So what do you do, Jackson?” I ask.

  “I’m an attorney,” he says. “Corporate law. I wanted to get into engineering, but after awhile, it seemed a bit monotonous. I liked being on the debate team in high school, so law became the next obvious choice.”

  “Cool,” I tell him. “Mel’s ex-husband is a lawyer. He cheated on her with another lawyer at his firm and now they’re getting married.”

  “Wow.” He takes another drink of his beer, draining the second one. This guy drinks more than I do.

  “You’re not sleeping with any married partners are you?” I ask, trying to make a joke. “Holy shit.”

  “What? What’s wrong?” Jackson asks, concerned.

  “Speak of the asshole. That’s Nick. Mel’s ex.”

  He looks around as if Nick is going to have a tattoo on his forehead that says I’m the asshole prick who cheated on my wife.

  “I haven’t seen him in a long time. He didn’t even notice me,” I explain.

  Jackson starts to scoot out of the booth. “My turn. I’ll be right back.”

  I stare at Nick until he meets my glare. If only he could read minds. Mother fucker!

  Oh shit. He’s coming over.

  “Hi, Shelly,” he says. “I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, but I just wanted to say hello.”

  “You’re right, I don’t want to talk to you,” I sneer. I lean to get a look at the female sitting with him. “So is that the bimbo you’re gonna marry?”

  “Well, enjoy your date,” he says, ignoring my dig, and turns to walk away.

  It’s like a light bulb flips on. “Wait.” He turns back around. “I need you to do something for me.” His face contorts giving me a look like I have crap smeared all over my face. “You owe it to me for all the shit I’ve had to deal with. I need to get out of here. So when the guy comes back, I need you to come over and say something to get me to leave.” He rolls his eyes at me, and I slam my hand on the table. “Just do it!”

  He struts away. Fucker.

  The server and Jackson return at the same time. “Are you ready to order?” she asks.

  “Can you give us just a few more minutes? I haven’t looked at the menu.” I won’t feel so bad when I suddenly get sick and need to leave, if we haven’t ordered yet. But once we do, I’m in this. Stuck.

  Jackson takes his menu too and we both sit in silence.

  “Excuse me, Shelly.” I look up and Nick is standing there. God Bless him. He’s still an asshole, but he’s here. “I’m sorry to interrupt your dinner. I need to ask you a favor.”

  I introduce Jackson and Nick continues. “I just talked to Melissa and she’s not doing too well. I thought you were with her and she’d be okay, but you’re here. So I thought maybe you could go check on her.”

  “Now,” I say, trying to sound offended.

  “Yes, now. I’m pretty sure she needs you.” He doesn’t say anything else. He goes back to his table and pretends he’s not a total dick. Good deed or not, he’s still the biggest loser I know.

  “I’m sorry, Jackson. I gotta go,” I tell him, rushing to stand. “I’m all Mel has now, so I have to see what’s going on.”

  “I understand. I hope everything is alright,” he says.

  “I’ll see you,” I mumble, as I practically run out.

  I think I hear him say, “Call me.”

  When I get on the road, I make two calls.

  First, I call Mel.

  “Guess who just got me out of my date?” I ask, when she picks up.

  “Who?”

  I explain my horror story with Jackson and Honey Blondes, and then go on to tell her about how I told Nick he owed me.

  “It’s about time that shithead is good for something,” she says, and we both laugh.

  “By the way, I can’t believe that woman. She looks like he pulled her out of a JC Penney catalog. Could she be more plain?” I tell her, hoping to make her happy.

  “I know right,” she replies with a giggle.

  “You were too much sizzle for him. He can only handle the mild sauce,” I tease.

  “Uh huh,” she agrees. “If you can’t stand the heat, get the fuck out the kitchen.”

  “Amen,” I say. “One more thing, Mel.”

  “What happened?” she asks anxiously.

  “He got fat,” I squeal.

  “Yes!” she yells.

  We both start busting up until I’m gasping for breath and Mel is snorting.

  And then, I call Matty.

  He answers in a playful tone, “Are you on your way to Vegas yet?”

  Chapter Seventeen

  It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m not so sure I want to go out with Matty tonight after the crap he pulled yesterday. He had a great time, along with Mel and Tyler, talking crap about how I may have missed out on a real hunk of a man just because of his piss poor choice in beer. I could have choked him.

  But who am I kidding? Of course, I want to go out with him tonight.

  We convinced Ty to stay till the end of break, so he’ll be joining us for the festivities this evening too, which happens to be a work party. Matty and I haven’t gone anywhere together publically, where people know who we are. This should be interesting and is sure to create a lot of gossip among our colleagues. Or maybe not. It’s not like we’re going to walk in holding hands and make out in a corner or something. Maybe people will assume we’re just friends like we’ve always been.

&
nbsp; And it’s not like we RSVP’d together, as a couple. Mel actually responded for all of us.

  Oh well, who cares? We’re just going to go. The four of us. And have a good time. Shit, I totally over think all this stuff all the time.

  Chase is going to be there. He hasn’t invaded my thoughts all vacation, and now …

  Forget it. I’m not going to say anymore.

  “Oh my, you guys look frickin’ adorable!” I say to Tyler and Mel, when we arrive at her place to pick them up.

  “That’s not really the look we were going for,” Tyler shrugs. “But we’ll take it.” He throws his arm around Mel’s neck and hooks her in for a kiss.

  “Oh, even more adorable,” I squeal. Matty makes gagging sounds at my comments. We all let out a quick chuckle.

  When you go to a Pajama Party, there’re really only two ways to go. 1) Slutty or 2) Cozy. I always opt for cozy. There’s no way I’m going to go to a party with a bunch of co-workers looking like a prostitute. Plus, we always end up drinking way beyond tipsy and acting ridiculous. I’d rather risk acting like a fool in comfortable clothing my tits aren’t hanging out. So I’m wearing my typical PJs—cropped jammy pants and a tank. Matty’s wearing one of his college tees and some Family Guy boxers, with some boxer briefs underneath—I checked. I don’t want his junk hanging out there for the world to see.

  Tyler and Mel really do look cute. He’s wearing plaid flannel pajama pants—the ones my mom gave him for Christmas—with a wife beater. She’s wearing the coordinating plaid pajama top, which is too long for her but she has some little booty shorts on underneath. They’re matching for crying out loud. What a great idea. I wish I would’ve thought of it. But then again, I doubt I would have asked Matty to wear similar outfits to a work party.

  Like always, we’re late. Parking ten houses down and across the street is evidence of that. I think we got lucky with a spot no too far away. Someone must have left and we snagged it before they could get back, because familiar cars line the road even further from us. This party is going to be huge.