I thought nothing more of that night until a casual conversation in the office with Jem a couple of weeks later. I’d received my small parcel of pills by that stage, taken a few and then discovered to my joy that they were no longer required. However, they were quite useful in terms of my ability to make sure that Meg was left fully satisfied, so I ordered a couple more packets for recreational purposes. I thought they might come in handy, they were quite a nice little extra in the bedroom.
Jem and I were chatting over some staff issue in the kitchen. His mood was quite low. I can’t really remember how it came up, but my antennae were immediately alert.
‘I saw Meg out in the town centre the other night, I don’t think she saw me though ...’
‘Oh yes, who was she with, a man or woman?’ I asked, trying to conceal my immediate alarm.
‘The guy from the counselling place. I’m sure it was Meg, it looked like her. The guy has one of those stupid beards, looks a bit of a twit to be honest with you. Martin something, I forget his surname.’
Martin Travis. The bastard! She’d been seeing Martin outside of our sessions. And she hadn’t thought that it was important to tell me.
‘When was this, Jem? I’m just trying to work out who it was,’ I probed, my mind now racing.
‘Last Wednesday maybe, it was in town, they were eating Thai.’
I hate Thai food. Meg had been out on Tuesday. Eating Thai food with Martin.
‘You’re not mistaking it for Tuesday are you? She was definitely out that night.’
‘Now you mention it, yes, it was Tuesday. I was eating alone, couldn’t face cooking in my bedsit.’
He seemed to want to know as much about the meeting as I did.
‘If he had a silly beard, it’ll be one of her colleagues from work.’
I lied. I didn’t want to tell him about that bastard Martin. I’d confront Meg with it later.
‘Thought I recognised him from somewhere, didn’t get a proper look. Seemed like a complete prat!’ Jem replied, then resumed our conversation about the staff member. I concurred with his assessment of Martin though.
I was a bit wary of challenging Meg when we were sitting on the sofa watching TV that night. I’d popped one of my pills hoping that I might get lucky and tempt Meg into some recreational sex for non-IVF purposes. She made it quite clear that she was having none of it.
I was as much put out by the wasted expense of the pill as I was by the prospect of another dull evening. I decided that if sex was off the cards, I might as well ask her about Martin.
‘Where did you go out for food last week, was it that new Italian place? I can’t remember you saying.’
‘What? Yes, we went there, it was nice. A bit pricey, though!’
A lie. I’d caught her in a lie already.
‘Only Jem said he’d seen you. He must have been mistaken, he thought you were in the Thai restaurant further along the High Street.’
I was watching her now, waiting for her to give it away. She flinched when I mentioned Jem. Her answer was abrupt.
‘He must be mistaken!’
She’d meant that to be the end of it. With sex off the cards, I was happy to push a bit further.
‘He seemed certain that you were with a younger guy with a sculpted beard. Somebody from work?’
‘Look, damn Jem and damn you, Pete! I was out with Martin, alright? We’re not shagging, it’s not Martin who I slept with, okay? I won’t ever sleep with Martin, he’s just a mate. I like him and he’s helping me.’
He wanted to shag Meg though, that twinkle in his eye had made that perfectly clear to me.
‘What about his code of ethics?’ I asked. ‘Is the little shit even allowed to do that?’
‘I had to talk him around to doing it. He was really ethical about the whole thing, it was me who wanted to go out, not him!’
I’ll bet he had an ethical struggle. Should I shag my client’s wife or not? I bet he anticipated a lot of moral tussling with that little dilemma.
‘What were you talking about?’
‘You know, just things. Us. How we met, stuff like that.’
‘Please tell me you didn’t mention my erection problems? Not over Thai food!’
‘No, of course I didn’t, Pete. Anyway, that’s over now, things are fine.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me about it, Meg? I’ve only just found out that you slept with some other guy, now you’re sneaking off for meetings with Martin. I don’t care what bollocks he spun about ethics, if his boss found out he’d met with you outside of formal sessions he’d be signing on at the Job Centre. Or Super Job Centre Plus, whatever it’s called these days!’
‘I know, I know, I’m sorry, Pete. It’s just that speaking to Martin makes me feel like it’s going to be alright between us. I don’t want this relationship to end, I want us to make it right. Martin helps me to feel like we have a future.’
‘That’s because he’s trying to charm you out of your knickers! Can’t you see it?’
‘You said yourself that you’d underestimated him when you had your one-to-one with him. After my … after I admitted having sex with ... that guy.’
She’d nearly said it. It was on the tip of her tongue. I didn’t push further, the conversation that we were having was already delicate enough.
‘You need to start telling me this stuff, I shouldn’t be finding it out from Jem. I don’t like you seeing Martin outside of our sessions, but it would at least help if you told me. We need to start building up trust here, Meggy. If we can’t trust each other we’re not going to make it.’
She looked sheepish, she’d been rumbled, she knew she was wrong. She put out her hand, touched my arm. I put my free hand to her cheek, moved towards her and kissed her, gently at first, then harder, more passionately. She reciprocated, moving her hand from my arm to my chest. She’d succeeded in diffusing the situation, she’d distracted me from what had happened. And, in spite of my initial forecast, we both got some use out of my pill that night.
The fire alarm was a big pain for everybody. It took over half an hour to get back inside after the fire service had swept the building. There was a further delay when a couple of police officers arrived. They were deep in conversation with Bob for some time before we all got to move on back to our rooms.
I had been jolted by what Ellie had said.
‘A stalker, you’re kidding me aren’t you?’
‘Unfortunately not. I often get comments in the street, some of them a bit lewd, but it goes with the territory. Most of the nutters are harmless, just sad and lonely. They think you’re their friend because you’re on the TV.’
She paused, watching what was going on by the fire engine. There must have been thirty or so journalists in that crowd, every one of them trained to sniff out a story. All of us were watching the action intently, unable to detach from the fact that this wasn’t our story to report on. Those instincts are hard to resist at times.
‘This guy was a real nutter,’ Ellie continued. She looked a little ashamed. ‘If I’m honest, it’s why I didn’t ditch Dave sooner. He’s a different kind of weirdo, but at least he’s on my side. He frightened off Tony Miller on more than one occasion. I thought he was going to kill him once. I felt safe around Dave, even though I don’t like him that much.’
Poor old Ellie, caught between a rock and a hard place. What a fix to be in. Even radio presenters have problems with the public sometimes. I knew one guy who had to shake off a woman in department stores because she would tail him from work when he left the office. I’d dealt with that one as his line manager, it had been deeply unsettling for him. The woman ended up in a psychiatric unit, the problem took care of itself. But Ellie was right, it was an occupational hazard.
‘How frightening is this guy?’ I asked, not entirely certain that I wanted to know.
‘He broke into my flat several times. I found him naked in my bed once. He thought we were married. Bloody hell, Pete, what a nutter!’
‘What did you do? How did you get rid of him?’
‘What, apart from Dave threatening to cut off his cock with a carving knife? Not quite Three Blind Mice is it? The police dealt with it. Well, that’s the official version. My brothers sorted it in the end.’
I didn’t like the sound of that. I sensed a vigilante story coming on.
‘We got a restraining order, but it did bugger all. Dave is mental, but he’d never carry it through, he’s all hot air. My brothers paid him a visit. I don’t know what they did, but they must have put the fear of God up him. They wouldn’t tell me how they scared him off. I haven’t always been this posh you know, Pete. I come from a working-class estate in London. I’m the odd one out in my family. My brothers live in a different world from me. And they always take care of their sister.’
‘I can’t blame you,’ I said. I’d seen enough shitbags beat the justice system in my career as a radio reporter. If it had been Meg that was being stalked, I’d have done the same. It’s alright the police doing things by the book. Sometimes you have to scare people shitless, it’s the only thing that works.
‘Did it do the job?’ I asked, eager to hear Ellie’s story, my journalistic impulses getting the better of me.
‘I haven’t seen him in several months. It doesn’t stop though, I’m always looking, expecting to see him lurking. I can’t have seen him here, we’re miles from home. He couldn’t possibly know that I’m in Newcastle. I’m sorry, Pete. These little bastards get under your skin, it’ll be a while until I get used to him being off the scene.’
We were in shadow in the car park, surrounded by other people who were all having their own conversations. I took a risk and squeezed Ellie’s hand. It was the gesture of a friend, I wanted to reassure her. I liked Ellie a lot, we’d just slept together. And now she’d told me this. She was shaken, I wanted to help.
‘Thanks, Pete, you’re a good guy, I appreciate it.’
She smiled at me, I smiled back. Although what had happened between us in my room had only been a casual fling, there was a connection there. Maybe it hadn’t been completely meaningless.
Ellie made her way back to her own room once we were given the go-ahead to return to the building. Some of her colleagues had started to chat to her as the crowd of guests began to move in a herd towards the main entrance. I dropped back, not wanting to alert anybody to what had happened between us.
I got caught up in the middle of the crowd as we filed slowly through the doors – it was difficult to escape the funnel effect. I wanted to break free, though. I’d seen something else that night which upset me.
Jenny was on her own, lurking away from the light of a street lamp, using the shadows for cover. She was crying, I could see her shoulders shaking. I wanted to go and see her, to make sure she was alright. She was such a bright young thing, it seemed impossible to imagine what might have brought her to tears like that.
Bob strode over to her, he was shaking his finger at her, clearly angry. Poor Jenny, what was going on? I wanted to go over there and defend her, but I couldn’t escape the movement of the crowd, everybody was desperate to get back to bed. I looked over towards Jenny again, she was being comforted by Derek. Good old Derek, thank you, thanks for taking care of Jenny.
I squeezed through the door and made directly for room 123 along that long corridor. The fire door next to my room had been closed, it was as if nothing had happened. There was the smell of sex when I walked back into my room – of sweat and semen. I decided to open the window slightly, it was a bit of a giveaway.
My head touched the pillow, and I was out cold immediately. What a night! It wasn’t even 3.00am on my fortieth birthday and there had already been more than enough action for one day.
But things were only just getting started.
Chapter Seven
There were some tired people when we started gathering in the conference room at 9:30am the next day. I skipped breakfast, I’d almost overslept. I hadn’t set the alarm on my phone the night before, I’d been distracted, so I made the meeting by the skin of my teeth.
Ellie and I didn’t sit together. We were in a room of investigative reporters, we weren’t stupid. She smiled at me, said good morning and was warm and genial. We weren’t blanking each other, I was pleased about that.
I must confess to surreptitiously looking at her during the meeting. She was gorgeous. I’m not sure I’d fully appreciated that in the heat of the previous night’s passionate exchanges. I’d slept with that woman. If I hadn’t been so ashamed of what I’d done to Meg, I could have enjoyed it all a little more.
But Meg had cheated on me. We were even. It wasn’t revenge, that’s not why I did it. Thinking it over, as Diane droned on about social media, listening figures and declining audiences, I had to admit that I felt better. Meg and I had levelled up. I could move on.
She’d cheated on me, I’d cheated on her.
She should have kept her mouth shut about her infidelity. It only hurt me because I knew about it. If she’d kept quiet, lived with the secret, learnt her lesson and moved on, I’d have been none the wiser.
If you’re going to cheat, keep it to yourself. I would never, ever, ever tell Meg. It would change everything if she knew.
The teamwork activities were much as you’d expect, pointless and dry – and full of corporate speak. Expecting us to do more with less, and with the threat of redundancies and further cuts always in the background. Modern working life, in a nutshell.
I couldn’t be blamed for being more interested in Ellie, running my eyes up and down her legs, filling in the missing pieces from my memories of the night before. I was jolted back into reality when violent shouting erupted in the corridor outside. Ellie looked horrified, she’d immediately recognised the voice.
‘Where is the stupid whore? I don’t give a shit what she’s doing, I want to see her now!’
Ellie stood up.
‘Excuse me, everybody,’ she said, looking uncomfortable and annoyed.
She exited the room.
‘Will she be alright out there?’ someone asked.
‘It’s just her bloke,’ another replied. ‘He’s crazy, he does this all the time. I don’t know why she doesn’t ditch the stupid idiot.’
For a moment, self-preservation made me wonder if I’d been foolish to get involved with Ellie. First a stalker, now this, some crazy boyfriend who was convinced she was sleeping with everybody. Maybe he was right. Did Ellie do what she’d done with me all the time? I didn’t think so. It was only instinct, but it really didn’t feel like she was that kind of woman. Besides, that would have made me that kind of man. I didn’t make a habit of sleeping with people within hours of meeting them and I was certain that Ellie didn’t either.
It was getting a bit heated in the corridor. Dave was sounding off and Ellie was trying to calm him. She was at work, these were her colleagues. What a prat. Broadcasters aren’t the most aggressive human beings in the food chain, the main repository of testosterone is usually among the sports team. Unfortunately, although they were represented at a more senior level, we didn’t have any of the younger guys available to get involved. When we heard Ellie getting upset, some of her work colleagues nearer the door got up to assist her. I felt honour-bound to at least show willing, I hadn’t seen Dave at that stage, for all I knew he was massive.
I wasn’t far off. He must have worked on building sites or doing some form of manual labour, he was way too fit to be an office dweller. That physique hadn’t been created in a gym either, it was the result of hard, physical graft.
I should’ve been grateful that she’d even looked at me, let alone slept with me. I didn’t fancy my chances with Dave, he looked strong and violent. I doubted if Ellie had told me the whole truth about him. It seemed to me that he knew how to handle himself. If I were Ellie’s stalker, just one look at Dave would have warned me off.
Ellie’s colleagues were trying to calm him down, encouraging him to walk away. Ellie was crying
. I hate to see people cry. There’s nothing more distressing than to see a genuinely upset person. That’s how Jenny had looked to me the night before, after her mauling from Bob Hays. It’s how Ellie looked now. This weekend was supposed to be an excuse to get away from home, but I was getting more drama here than I ever got from Meg.
‘I know you’re sleeping with one of these telly tarts!’ Dave was shouting. ‘Which one is it, slut? Which one are you shagging?’
‘Dave, just leave, please, it’s over!’ Ellie was pleading with him. Dave was too angry, too wound up to pipe down. A male and a female police officer appeared from nowhere. I hadn’t been aware of anybody calling them, they must have got there quickly. They knew exactly how to deal with Dave; he was quietened and subdued within a few minutes. A big bully boy who knew when he was out of his league. It was the WPC who got him under control too, no nonsense, she must have dealt with fools like Dave a hundred times before.
‘You alright, luv?’ the PC said to Ellie. She nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes.
‘Lovers tiff?’ he asked.
Ellie nodded.
‘I’m sorry, he’s a jerk. I never thought he’d come down here sounding off ...’
‘It’s alright, Ells,’ one of her colleagues reassured her. ‘He’s a tosser, you’re better off without him.’
‘You okay, Ellie?’ I asked, keeping away from the main huddle but anxious to express my concern.
‘Yeah, thanks, Pete, thanks everybody, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry about Dave. I didn’t think he’d do that.’
Two of Ellie’s female colleagues took her over to the bar area for a coffee, the rest of us went back into the conference room to continue with the presentations. Our hearts weren’t in it after that, we were going through the motions.
Don't Tell Meg Trilogy Box Set Page 8