Second Chance (Enduring Kiss)

by Black, C. E.

  I was already frazzled about the argument with Sean. I should not have been so hurtful. It was quite difficult to like someone so much and not be able to act on it. I tried to find him and apologize, but I hadn't seen him all week.

  He must have been avoiding me. Usually we saw each other if not daily then every other day. Maybe that was the problem. We spent too much time together. Proximity probably had heightened the draw to each other.

  I waved to a girl from my auditing class as she got into her car. As I continued down the rows of cars towards mine, I could not get that last thought out of my head. Maybe Sean and I needed to separate ourselves a little. I would miss his friendship, but something had to change.

  I knew I wasn't in love with Sean because I had been in love once before. It had been completely different. The love Drake and I had, was all-consuming. I loved him with everything I was.

  What Sean did not know was that I would never have a mate, because I had already found him and he was dead. Werewolves only had one mate and if we never found them or if they passed away, we did not get another. It was sad, but also romantic in a sense that you had only one person to love and love you in a lifetime. A love that was intense, passionate, fervent, and strong.

  I would never again experience those feelings. Yes, I could take a lover or a boyfriend. I could even marry. Many wolves do when they lose a mate or spend too many years without one, but it would never be the same as having a true mate. If Sean were to know my loss, he would feel unnecessary guilt for the things he could not change.

  Then if others knew, the piteous looks would start. They would set me up with other single wolves that have lost mates and I wasn't ready for that. I still felt the aching hole of loss in my heart. It had been five years since Drake's death, but I felt his absences just as strongly as I did then. No, best to keep quiet until the time was right, maybe after Sean found his mate. Whoever she was, she was one lucky girl.

  I reached my little blue Toyota and unlocked the door. After opening it, I threw my book-laden backpack in then suddenly swirled around looking in every direction. I couldn't believe I was so distracted with my thoughts that my nose hadn't picked up on the scent. I could smell him now though. The scent was wolf, male, and not of my pack.

  I sniffed again and wrinkled my brow in confusion. It was familiar though. I looked around again. He was gone, but I had just missed him. Now the question was who was checking up on me and why? I could not afford to stand around thinking about it. It wasn't safe. I had to get home and talk to Pack Master Dane.

  I jumped in the car and headed out of the parking lot and onto the main street. As I drove toward the mansion, I kept glancing in the rear view mirror. I saw nothing unusual, but the hairs on the back of my neck prickled and I knew I was being followed.

  This had to be about that Master that was supposed to come to town, or more probable, was already in town. Why follow me? I thought. I did not have anything to do with Lucas, except I was friends with his wife. Maybe they were looking into our pack because we were associated with Lucas, I mused.

  I gave up on my questions as I pulled up to the house. I got out and after grabbing my bag, headed to the front entrance. I saw Barrett standing out front. He was looking good in his guarding duds. Even with his straight short brown hair and plain brown eyes, the man was extremely handsome. He had a strong jaw, straight nose, and his build was lean and muscular. His tight black t-shirt showed off his six-pack.

  It always amazed me how good looking the male werewolves were. It must be genetics, I thought. That was one misconception humans had. Werewolves were born, never turned.

  I waved to Barrett on my way in, but did not stop to talk. It was better to see Dane first thing. I went straight to his office and knocked firmly.

  "Come in," he called.

  I went in shutting the door behind me. Dane was leaning on the front of his desk with his legs and arms crossed. He looked casual and confident in his well-worn jeans and tight, white tee. He had shoulder length blonde hair and very tan skin. If it weren't for his crystal blue eyes, I'd say he was the spitting image of Sean.

  He was actually Sean's uncle, his father's brother. They made some delectable specimens in that family. They both always looked like they had just strolled of a beach photo shoot. Dane was even barefoot.

  I inclined my head in respect.

  "Hey Rebecca, you're doing okay today?"

  He looked me up and down with concern. I had rarely sought him out for anything.

  I shifted back and forth nervously. I really shouldn't have gone out alone after all.

  "I was, uh, followed today."

  He uncrossed his legs and stood up straight, looking more serious.

  "When was this?" He asked.

  "After school," I said

  He arched one perfect eyebrow. "I thought you were asked not to attend classes for awhile?"

  I blushed and looked down shuffling my feet. Darn it, his authority made me so uneasy.

  "Well I, uh, said no."

  "Okay, so tell me what happened?"

  I looked up at him startled. All he said was okay? I could not believe I wasn't going to get the third degree on my safety. At my bewildered look, he smiled gently.

  "Hey, you've worked hard. You deserve that degree and it was completely your decision about taking a break. Now, tell me what happened."

  "When I got to my car, I smelled a wolf. His scent was all around my car and it was fresh, but I didn't see anyone, nor did I recognize the scent."

  I realized too late, that what I said was technically a lie. The scent was familiar. Where could I have been in contact with the wolf, maybe someone from my old pack? Impossible, no one should have cared where I went.

  "What did you just remember?" Dane asked.

  "Huh? Oh, just that the scent did seem familiar, but I can't remember where I've smelled it. He definitely is not part of this pack."

  "Hmm, well keep thinking about it. Maybe something will trigger your memory. What else did you notice today?"

  "Not much else. Just that when I was driving home, I could have sworn I was being followed, but again I couldn't see anything. It was just a feeling."

  Now that I was there, telling the Pack Master seemed like a bad idea. I didn't have any proof. Maybe I was wrong and I wasn't followed. A feeling was not enough to make such accusations. Dane probably thought I was being over dramatic and would send me out with a pat on the back and a gentle smile.

  "Stop doubting yourself Rebecca. Those feelings you have, that we all have, are very real. Listen to them. I know you weren't exaggerating."

  I looked at him startled and a little in fear. Could he read my thoughts or something? I hope he didn't hear me thinking about him and Sean on the beach. He laughed and I know my face paled. Maybe he could read my mind after all.

  "No worries Rebecca. Your face gives you up every time. You wear your expressions like we all wear clothes. You are very readable." He chuckled again at the look of relief on my face.

  "Alright Rebecca, thanks for letting me know and we'll look into it. I don't think you are in any danger, but it would be a good idea if you had someone with you when you leave the house, if you get my drift."

  He gave me a knowing look, but his eyes still sparkled with laughter. I knew what he wanted. I would have to bring someone to school with me. I took a breath and blew it out noisily. Who would I bring? Everyone was so busy and coming with me would be such a bore. I certainly would not be asking Sean to be my babysitter. I really did not want to be around him any more than necessary.

  "I suggest asking Sean to come along with you. I've noticed how close the two of you are."

  How did he do that? Just when I was thinking about Sean, he mentioned him. I noticed the questions in his voice and expression. He wanted to know what was going on, but was too polite to ask.

  I was silent a moment thinking about that. I could use some advice. No one else could give me any. Dane was perfect for talking with.
He had to keep it confidential because he was Pack Master and he was considerate. I knew he was more knowledgeable of our race and culture than I was.

  Our gazes met and I got nothing but good feelings. He was giving me a look that said I could trust him and he was my friend. All right, decision made. I walked toward the chair in front of him and sat down as he took his seat behind the desk.

  I debated on how to start the conversation and was glad he waited so patiently for me to begin. I finally decided to just jump in.

  "How can two wolves be so attracted to each other in every way, but not be mates?" I asked.

  He thought about it for a few minutes in silence and I started to wonder if the question was too hard. Maybe being interested in another werewolf other than your mate was not acceptable.

  I glance around the spacious office slash library while I waited for his answer. The mahogany bookshelves were beautiful and filled with every genre of book you could think of. I looked up at the arched ceiling and absently wondered how builders were able to create such a thing. Bending the wood to that angle must have been difficult, but it was magnificent. The chandelier only added to the grandeur. I wondered how many crystals were on that thing, hundreds, or thousand maybe.

  I suddenly glanced back at Dane and found him smiling at me. "I'm sorry Pack Master," I said with a blush.

  "No problem. I was enjoying how much you approved of my office. And please Rebecca, call me Nathaniel," he said with a smile that reached all the way to his sparkling blue eyes.

  I noticed he had a slight dimple in one cheek that reminded me of Sean's. I blushed again and looked away.

  "Now, the answer to your question on how can we be attracted to others who are not our mates. Well I have a theory. I think it's all about nature. Nature has written our destiny when it comes to mating. It has put us together with the most compatible companions."

  He gestured with his hands. "When we're together with our mates, our strengths and weakness complement one another so that we live longer healthier lives, and have the strongest offspring."

  I nodded my agreement. The explanation for why we mated to a certain wolf was right on. It was something I already knew.

  "But I also have another theory."

  He leaned his elbows on his desk and tapped his first fingers of his clasped hands on his pursed lips. He looked like he was debated whether to tell me or not. Nathaniel stared at me for quite a while, making me a little nervous. Then he nodded and removed his fingers as if he came to a decision about what he saw.

  "I'm not sure how you'll take what I'm about to say, but I want you to know it's only an idea. It doesn't mean you have to act on anything I say."

  He waited until I gave him a dip of my chin before he continued. "Well, just like nature chose our perfect mates, I believe it also gave us back ups."

  I smiled a little at the thought. Back up mates. That was a little out there, but he had my attention. He smiled back acknowledging the strangeness of the idea.

  "Many times, a mate passes away or sometimes we never find our mate." I shifted uncomfortably with the compassion I heard in his voice. "I think nature gives us a second chance so life doesn't become bleak. Depression can overwhelm us when it comes to missing our other halves."

  I let out a breath I had not known I was holding and looked away for a moment to gather my thoughts. I actually understood and sort of agreed with what Nathaniel was saying.

  Yes, it was strange, but also made sense. Did that mean there could be a future with Sean? I wondered about his mate. If she was still out there, it could cause a lot of heartache in the end.

  Nathaniel's voice brought me out of my thoughts. "You're still young, Rebecca; only twenty eight. Is there a reason you're not holding out for your perfect mate like most young wolves?"

  Again, I heard his sympathy and knew he probably already suspected my answer.

  "His name was Drake," was all I said.

  He nodded his understanding and the kindness in his eyes almost undid me. I choked back my tears and took a deep breath. It continued to hurt so badly to think of Drake's death.

  Closing my eyes, I thought back to the times we spent together. There were so many moments, yet not enough. I remembered that I could never seem to take my eyes off him. His dark hair was almost black and looked like silk. I remembered the feel of the short locks on my fingers as we kissed. The ends curled slightly making him always look as if he needed a haircut.

  He was so strong and not too tall. He was only a few inches taller than my 5'7'' frame, just tall enough for me to look up at him. I would look up at his perfect face and want to kiss his full red lips immediately. I couldn't stop wanting him.

  What I missed the most was the look in his eyes. Those soft baby blue eyes that were framed in long, black lashes that should have been on a lucky woman, held so much love and kindness. I wanted to weep when I gazed into them. I felt his love, his power, his tenderness, his passion with every glance.

  I shook my head to chase his image away. There was no use in wallowing in the past. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to find tears flowing down my cheeks and I quickly wiped at them with my hands.

  A tissue was suddenly there. I glanced up to find Nathaniel standing in front me with the offering. I took the tissue thankfully and cleaned myself up, a little embarrassed that I caused such a scene.

  "I know I said you didn't have to act on my theory, but have you thought about making a life with someone else? Maybe Sean? Like I said before, I've notice how close the two of you are."

  I couldn't speak so I just shrugged and shook my head hoping he would get that I wasn't sure what to do.

  He looked away then said, "I know Sean hasn't found his mate yet, but you could nonetheless be happy for awhile; possibly forever. Many of us never find our mates."

  I glance at him uncertainly. There was a sadness that came across in his last sentence.

  He looked back at me. "I've given up hope on finding mine."

  His words held such sorrow. I knew he was much older than he looked. We just celebrated his seventy-fifth birthday and he only looked to be in his late thirties, early forties, but I just never thought about his not having a mate. I was ashamed of myself for the selfish way I had been thinking lately.

  I reached out and touch his hand surprising him, but he grasp the offered hand in acknowledgment of my sympathy. The misery on his face began to clear and with one final squeeze, he let go of my hand and walked back to his seat.

  "I know it's a difficult decision. Think it over. Talk to Sean and see what he thinks, or don't do anything and keep things as they are now. It's totally up to you," he said.

  I nodded. "Thanks for talking with me Nathaniel. I really appreciate your help."

  Nathaniel stood up and I followed suit.

  "I'll talk to you soon Rebecca. If we find anything out about the wolf following you, I'll let you know."

  "Thank you." I bowed slightly and left, unsure if I felt better or worse after our discussion.

  I went to my room wanting to be alone with my thoughts. There was a note taped to the front of my door. I pulled it off and opened it.

  We need to talk.

  Sean

  I agreed, but I couldn't talk to him right then. I needed to think first. Putting the note in my pocket, I went inside, closing the door behind me.

  Wanting to feel comfortable after the day I had, I changed into my pajamas, which were a pair of red plaid shorts and a white tank top. Then I crawled into bed getting under the fluffy white down comforter. After lying down, I closed my eyes and thought about what Nathaniel had said.

  I knew Sean and I were going to have to talk about our relationship soon, but I was unsure if I should mention Nathaniel's theory. I would not mind one bit living the rest of my life with Sean. I wouldn't even mind if I only got a few weeks or months, but I didn't know if I could move on without Drake. Could I push him far enough out of my mind so that my feelings for him would not interfere in
my relationship with Sean? I did not know.

  What if Sean found his mate? I would have to leave, not just Sean, but the pack as well. The pack was everything to me. They were my family, but it would hurt too much to hang around afterwards. By that time, I would probably be in love with him. Truthfully, I already was a little bit.

  The questions just would not stop. My head was beginning to pound so my decision was to sleep on it. Maybe after a little nap things would become clearer.

  Chapter 3

  I moaned as fingers tugged gently through my long hair over and over. ‘Mmm,’ the sound escaped without me really noticing. I loved it when Drake played with my hair. When we would sit on the couch and watch movies in his room, I would lie across his lap and beg him to play with my long blonde locks. He always complied and even would add a scalp massage like the one he was giving right then.

  I began to squirm a little when the familiar ache began to build. The tingling on my scalp seemed to zip straight to my core. I turned over to face him knowing he loved to fool around. We hadn't gone all the way yet. We were waiting until after our mating ceremony, but there were other ways to express our love. He taught them to me, I thought with a wry grin.

  Turning over I expected him to be ready for some lovin', but instead his face was grim. Yes, his baby blues showed his desire for me, turning almost a stormy gray, but the rest of his face was stone. His lips pursed and I could see his jaw ticking out of anger or frustration.

  I reached out my hand and cupped his cheek, rubbing my thumbed under is full lips. I opened my mouth to speak, to ask him what was wrong, but nothing came. Confused, my eyes asked what I couldn't.

  He pulled my hand away from his face, but held onto it like a lifeline.

  "Why, Rebecca?"

  His voice broke and there was something wrong with his mouth. His skin also seemed paler. Not too much, but there was a noticeable difference from the soft golden skin I remembered. All of this and his strange question added to my confusion. Why what?