The Secrets of a Lady tj-1

by Jenna Petersen

  But he hadn’t come.

  Noah arched an eyebrow at his silent friend. “What do you think, Griffin? Will we be able to keep watch on her all night without being noticed?”

  Griffin slowly turned his face toward his friend, then glanced at Audrey from the corner of his eye. His gaze didn’t linger, but flitted over her like she meant nothing to him.

  “I daresay Audrey can take care of herself. That’s what you two have been trying to convince me for weeks, isn’t it?” He turned back to the window.

  Noah leaned back a fraction. “You’re saying you’re out of the plan?”

  “Yes.” He let out a long sigh. “I’m out. I’m not trained for this sort of espionage, am I? And my family has been put in enough danger as it is. You may continue to use my house for your headquarters, of course, and if my staff or I can assist you, we shall do our best. But as for the detail work…”

  Griffin paused to stare at her directly. “I’m not needed.”

  Audrey winced. With everything in her she wanted to throw herself into his arms and tell him how desperately he was needed, wanted and loved. But there was no point to that. He was angry, but he would get past it. For now, him staying out of her way was a blessing. Later she could comprehend what that meant for the two of them.

  “Whatever you say.” Noah’s voice was suddenly quiet and strangely gentle. It was almost as if he didn’t want to cause any more damage. “I’m sure you know what’s best for you.”

  “Yes,” Audrey whispered. “You’ve been very…”

  She struggled for a word. She wanted to say tender or loving, but knew that wouldn’t ease the tension between them.

  “You’ve been wonderful as a spy-in-training,” she finally said. “But it’s probably best to leave the rest of the mission up to me. Er, us.”

  Turning his head, Griffin met her eyes, the chocolate brown pools drawing her in. She felt herself lean a little closer, then straightened back up instead. She couldn’t be weak.

  The carriage came to a stop and a footman opened the door. Noah stepped out first, then held out his hand to help her down. Griffin sat very still for a moment.

  “Perhaps I won’t come in.” Griffin refused to lift his eyes to meet Audrey’s or Noah’s.

  “What?” Noah blinked his blue eyes in disbelief. “What are you talking about? This is the biggest event of the year!”

  “Yes,” Griffin growled, lifting his eyes suddenly. In the light of the lamps, Audrey noticed how bloodshot they were. “And I’m not up for it tonight. You don’t need me. Go and do your jobs. You can surely think of some kind of excuse, can’t you?”

  Noah opened his mouth as if to protest, but something in Griffin’s demeanor made Audrey leap in front of her brother to stop him.

  “Yes, Griffin,” she said softly, praying he would see her understanding her eyes. “These past few weeks have been trying for us all, most of all for you, as you aren’t accustomed to this lifestyle. Go home and try to rest.”

  “See here…” Noah began, but Audrey lifted her hand to cut him off.

  “We’ll make your excuses,” she promised, nodding as Griffin tapped on the carriage wall and disappeared back down the street.

  “What did you just do?” Noah turned her toward him. “Won’t it seem strange when our host doesn’t accompany us?”

  With a shrug of one shoulder, Audrey took her brother’s arm and began dragging him toward Burlington’s House’s open double doors. The circular courtyard brimmed with people and animals as coach after coach passed in and out of the wide gateway.

  “It doesn’t matter, Noah. It will ease Douglas’s mind not to have Griffin here. And didn’t you see his face?” She shivered as she remembered it, so empty and cold. Not at all like the man she knew and loved. He almost seemed… defeated. “He’s having a difficult time with… with all of this.”

  Noah frowned, but took her lead and continued to move toward the crowd in the foyer. “I suppose and yet I feel like I’m being locked out of something very important.”

  Audrey shrugged. She knew how her brother felt. After all, tonight she had been locked out of Griffin’s life. This time, for good.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “I must say, I’m glad your host decided to stay home,” Douglas Ellison said, as he spun Audrey around the crowded dance floor. “I do get tired of having to anticipate his interruptions all evening.”

  “Grif…” She could only pray Douglas hadn’t heard that slip. “Lord Berenger is harmless.”

  She bit back a bark of laughter as the comment left her lips. Griffin was anything but harmless. He was like a lion stalking through his territory and clearing out any interlopers. If Douglas Ellison couldn’t see that himself, he was a greater fool than she had ever imagined.

  Ellison seemed to consider her comment for a moment, then shrugged one shoulder. “You are here with me, aren’t you?”

  “Exactly.” She gave him a flirtatious look she only now understood the full power of. Before she made love with Griffin she hadn’t really grasped the control her femininity could hold over a man. She’d never understood the long stares from men, the way they leaned closer when a woman talked. Now she did and was forced to use those wiles on Douglas Ellison. A disgusting thought to say the least.

  She shook off her private musings to refocus on matters at hand. “We should talk about more pleasant things. Have you seen the Prince yet this evening?”

  Ellison’s gray eyes suddenly glittered with emotion. His thin smile turned to a frown.

  “Of course. Who can help but look at him as soon as he enters the room? Surrounded by people, dressed like a peacock on parade. The man is a buffoon.”

  “Hmmm.” She hoped to sound noncommittal as well as encouraging. “I suppose he does stand out. His guards alone make him a spectacle.”

  She smiled as she caught a glimpse of one of the guards. She and Noah had worked so hard to make sure the Prince and his guests had a large duty to protect them. The Prince had argued, but eventually had caved in to Lord Golding’s convincing words.

  “Guards?” Ellison scoffed. “As if they make any difference.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She slowly turned back to Ellison. His face was unreadable, stoic. Yet the way he’d made his statement, so certain, made her heart lodge in her throat. It was almost as if he already had a plan.

  “If someone really wants to assassinate a leader,” Ellison said with a cool smile. “A few guards won’t stop him. Nothing will.”

  Audrey shivered despite the heat of the crowded ballroom. What she saw in Ellison’s eyes was so angry, so full of hatred that she could hardly bear to look at it.

  “You sound very sure of that,” she managed to stammer out. “I wonder, though, why so many people seem to hate His Royal Highness?”

  Douglas’s eyes refocused on her as he gave her a condescending grin. Again she was happy most men assumed women didn’t understand politics. It gave her the upper hand with Ellison. After all, there was no harm giving away secrets to a person he didn’t believe could do anything with them.

  “Aside from his stupidity and his propensity to cling to the opinions of others like the weakling he is, many people were invested heavily in the war with France. And with Napoleon.”

  Drawing back slightly, Audrey observed Ellison’s face. He was entirely focused on the paunchy man across the room, his gray eyes boring into him with an intensity that was as frightening as it was unwavering.

  She batted her eyelashes in a pretend show of naivety. “I didn’t know anyone could profit from a war.”

  Again, he glanced back at her. “Well, people buy and sell commissions in the Army and Navy every day. And there are more nefarious businesses, as well. Those who trade arms and secrets with the enemy.”

  She found herself holding her breath and had to force herself to draw in air. Was he about to admit he was a traitor?

  “You sound as if you know this from personal experience.”<
br />
  She chose her words with great care. The last thing she wanted to do was frighten him away from the subject now that they were getting to the meat of the issue. Close to the whole reason she was in London in the first place.

  His pompous smile fell. “I don’t know if I’d go that far. I do have… associates who might have some dealings such as those.”

  “Really?” She tamped down her eagerness to demand a list of names. “I find it difficult to believe I might live and walk amongst men involved in such dangerous business.”

  Arching an eyebrow, he gave her an appraising stare. With a quick breath, she decided to take a chance and press further.

  “It’s a bit… thrilling,” she added, watching his pupils dilate with what she now knew to be desire. Her stomach lurched in response but she managed to keep the nausea at bay and give him a stunning smile. The opportunity to hear him say even one contact’s name was worth any price.

  “Truly?” His voice was full of sudden admiration. “You find it to be thrilling?”

  She bowed her head with a forced blush. “There is a certain adventure to it all.”

  His smiled widened. “I never thought you had it in you, Audrey. I must say, this is a side to you I’d never imagined, but I quite like it.”

  “I’d never dare tell anyone I felt that way.” Drawing a deep breath, she leaned forward. “Unless I truly trusted them.” She dropped her voice. “But my feelings about our Regent aren’t exactly tender, either.”

  She was pleased when Ellison’s eyes narrowed as he glanced around the room. “There are too many people here to discuss this,” he whispered. “If you were overheard you could be called a traitor and hung for treason. But would you accompany me to the gardens?”

  “Of course.” She was breathless not because of the deep feelings she had for the man beside her, but because she felt so close to the secrets she needed to unveil.

  As Douglas led her through the crowd on the floor and the parameter, Audrey scanned the room for her brother. She wanted to catch Noah’s eye so he’d know she was leaving so her brother could follow at a safe distance to hear whatever Ellison said. And save her if the man became dangerous in any way.

  But Douglas seemed determined to be alone with her as soon as possible. His grip on her arm tightened and he nearly knocked down several old women in his hurry to get through the veranda doors. Audrey hardly had a chance to look at half the room, let alone find and signal to her brother.

  The thought was troubling, but she couldn’t refuse now that she’d gone so far. Besides, she had handled Douglas and his advances before.

  “There’s no hurry, is there?” She pulled back against his arm. “We’ve all night to talk.”

  He slowed his pace with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, my dear. I get carried away sometimes by your beauty.”

  “Thank you,” she ground out.

  At the beginning of the garden pathway oriental style lamps were lit, sticking up from large stakes thrust into the soft earth. It was a practical way to illuminate the trail, while giving respect to the Prince’s love for all things Asian.

  The garden was scattered with groups of people and pairs of couples, looking at the moon, admiring the well-tended lawns and hedges, or simply staring into each other’s eyes as they enjoyed a rare stolen moment alone. From time to time peals of laughter echoed around them.

  Audrey wasn’t afraid. After all, Ellison would never try anything untoward with her in front of such a large group of people. His need for social acceptance would rein in whatever lust he felt.

  But as they walked further and further from the house, into darker and darker territory on the massive lawn, her anxiety grew. Soon the voice of the other couples faded away, leaving behind only the occasional squeak of crickets.

  “Douglas, do we really need to stray so far from the house?”

  His grin was a quick and sinister one, flashed only for a moment before he continued on toward what looked like an abandoned gazebo on the far end of the garden.

  “If we’re to discuss treachery and danger, we must do it in darkness and out of the public eye, don’t you think?” he asked. “After all, it was you who said you wouldn’t want anyone to know you found that life a little thrilling.”

  “I suppose.” Her shoulders were trembling despite her shawl and the warmth of the summer night. “But I wouldn’t want anyone to walk in on us and have the wrong impression. We both have reputations, you know.”

  She hoped her reference to his place in the world would remind him to be careful, but he gave her another menacing smile instead.

  “You needn’t worry about that. No one will walk in on anything. They’re too busy admiring the wealth they find at the top of the path.” He lowered his voice as he continued, “It takes a different kind of person to go beyond the beginning of the road, don’t you think? Someone with the adventurous spirit you seem so enamored with.”

  They’d reached the gazebo now and he helped her up the stairs. It truly was abandoned, unpainted and left to rot probably since the newer, larger building had been built closer to the house.

  “I don’t know that I’m enamored with adventure,” she said. In fact she felt a strong dislike for it coming on, despite her years of spying. “I simply thought it was interesting, that’s all.”

  “Don’t.” Ellison motioned to a bench where they both sat. Audrey tried to put a decent amount of distance between them, but Ellison had put her near the edge of the bench, giving her little room to maneuver unless she wanted to fall off the seat.

  “Don’t?” she repeated, actually willing her teeth not to chatter with nervousness.

  “Don’t back away from what you said earlier.” As he spoke, he reached out for her hand. Even though she wore gloves, Audrey imagined she could feel the damp coldness of his fingertips seeping through the fabric. “You said you were thrilled by the prospect of underhanded dealing and trading with the enemy.”

  “I-it must be a fascinating world.”

  Fascinating? No. Over the years she had seen the underbelly of society in England and on the continent. Though many of the crooks put on a pretty face, their lives were lived in fear. Fear of being captured, fear of being killed. Their families were in constant danger. Danger they often didn’t recognize until it was too late. Those were desperate men, just as the man beside her was desperate. His eyes had the wild look to them she’d seen too often before.

  “It is a fascinating world,” he murmured, his face moving ever closer to hers.

  She inched away just as subtly. “How do you know?”

  His smile was slow and sardonic. “Never mind. It’s best for the women and children to be kept out of the details of one’s business. But if you want danger, or a hint of it at least, I can give you that.”

  Audrey blinked. What she wanted was for her brother to come save her. She wanted Griffin’s arms around her, holding her tight and reassuring her he’d never let her come to harm, not under his roof. She wanted this evening and this case to be over.

  “I’m sure you can.” She laughed as if all that was transpiring between them was no more than a jest. “But aren’t there others?”

  “Of course,” he said, but his tone was suddenly impatient.

  In response, she rose to her feet to pace closer to the stairway of the gazebo. She wondered if anyone would hear her cry out so far away from the house.

  “Who?” Finger by finger, she clenched and unclenched her hands behind her back. “I’m so interested to see which of my acquaintances are behind some kind of ploy.”

  One of his thin eyebrows arched up. “And why is that? Why are you so interested in my associates?”

  She froze as her heart lodged in her throat to prevent her answer. The world felt as if it had slowed to half time, spinning around her in distant motion. Like she was under water. Her cover was about to be blown if she didn’t find the right words. Right now.

  “I…”

  His eyes lit up as he sto
od to come closer to her. Closer. Closer.

  “I believe I just realized why. You’ve asked about my associates…” he paused, reaching out to cup her cheek. For a brief moment, she wondered if he was going to strangle her and leave her body in the gazebo to be found by servants the next day.

  Then he leaned closer. “Because you’re afraid of how you feel for me.”

  The air left her lungs in a whoosh as Douglas Ellison’s hand locked on her waist, while the one on her face pulled her closer for a kiss. He was rough, forceful in the way he ground his lips against hers.

  “No!” With all her might, she pushed against his unyielding chest. For such a thin man, he was stronger than he looked. “Stop!”

  Damn her cover. She didn’t care if he found out she was a spy. She wanted to get away, away from his breath in her mouth and his hands gripping her arms, bruising her.

  “Don’t fight this Audrey,” he murmured. She squirmed in disgust when he dipped his tongue into her ear. “I promise to make you my wife, so what happens here makes no difference.”

  “Stop,” she insisted, but this time her voice felt much weaker.

  Despite her training and the strength she’d acquired over the years, her body seemed to be shutting down. Refusing to fight against a man who was much too strong.

  Her mind went back to the night long ago when another man had pinned her arms the way they were pinned now, had kissed her the way Douglas kissed her now. That night they’d been interrupted by her mother’s shrill voice. She had been saved, ironically, by Luci’s blackmail.

  Tonight, no salvation would come. She could scream all she wanted, but no one would hear. Noah hadn’t seen her leave, so he wouldn’t know where to look for her even if the did notice she was gone too long. And Griffin, who seemed to sense any time she was in trouble, wasn’t there to save her.

  In the past, she’d been able to fight Douglas because he would never go too far. There were too many chances to be caught. Now there were none and all the fighting in the world wouldn’t stop him.