Hey, Whiskey

by Kaylee Ryan

  “Yours remind me of a clear blue sky. They’re intoxicating.”

  The garage door opens, and I hear footsteps. I try to pull my hand from his, but he’s not having it. My hand that was in his hair is now on the arm of the couch. I feel like I’m a teenager who’s just been caught in a compromising position. Ridiculous I know, but it is what it is.

  “Saylor!” Molly says excitedly. She rushes to the couch, where Rhett’s head is still resting on my lap, and shoves her left hand in my face. “We’re getting married!”

  “Wow! I’m so happy for you,” I tell her. “Your ring is gorgeous.”

  “EEEP! Thank you! Did you know?” she asks me.

  “No.” I look down at Rhett, and he winks at me. I smile at him. Now I know why he wanted us to stay here. I’m glad that we did. Not sure I would have had the chance to spend one-on-one time with him if not.

  Molly’s smile turns smug. “What did you two get into?”

  “Just watching some TV,” Rhett says, not bothering to move.

  “Uh-huh. You look awful cozy,” Jake says from behind Molly.

  Rhett turns to look up at me. “We are,” he agrees.

  Oh. My. God. What is going on here?

  “What’s all the commotion?” Jerry asks when he comes into the room.

  “Look!” Molly shoves her hand at him.

  “Bout damn time, boy.” Jerry pulls Molly into a big hug. “Welcome to the family, darlin,’ not that you needed this ring for that. You’ve been a part of our family from day one.”

  Tears prick my eyes.

  “You okay, Say?” Rhett whispers.

  “Yeah, I need to use the restroom.” I can tell from the look in his eyes he doesn’t believe me, but he doesn’t call me out on it. Instead, he gives my hand a gentle squeeze then sits up.

  I bolt off the couch and down the hall before the tears fall. Closing the bathroom door, I rest my back against it and lose the battle. Hot tears run unchecked down my cheeks. I’m happy for them, of course I am, but this family dynamic they have has me longing for what I don’t have, for what I’ve never really had. It was Elaine and me, and I’m so grateful for everything she did for me, but I want more. I want lots of people around for the holidays. I want a list of people to shop for. I want the sense of belonging. My heart aches as the tears fall.

  Knowing that I need to get myself together and get back out there, I take a deep breath and focus on breathing slow. In and out, in and out. I get my breathing under control and get the tears to subside. Grabbing a tissue, I wipe off my face. Thankfully, I don’t wear a lot of makeup; some waterproof mascara is all I wore today, so that’s good. My eyes are a little red, but I can blame that on being tired. After I’m as good as I’m going to be until time wipes the effects of the tears from my face, I open the door and head back to the living room. It’s empty, but the laughter and conversation coming from the kitchen tells me where I need to be. With one more deep breath, I square my shoulders and follow the chatter.

  “There she is,” Grandpa Rhett says when I enter the kitchen. “You hungry?”

  “Yes.” I smile at him.

  “So, for Christmas Eve, we have snack foods that Rosa always insists on making for us,” Valerie explains. “We sit around snacking, sometimes we play cards, we watch movies, we just… be. Then Christmas morning, we head to the local homeless shelter and serve. We started that once Rhett was too old to believe in Santa. After that, we come home, and I make Christmas dinner.”

  “You coming with us tomorrow, Short Stack?” Rhett asks.

  “I, uh, I don’t want to intrude,” I say.

  “Never,” he says.

  “We’d love to have you, Saylor,” his dad adds. “Jake and Molly go with us every year.”

  “I don’t—” I start to say again that I don’t want to intrude, but Rhett interrupts me.

  “I’ll swing by and pick y’all up in the morning. Be ready around nine,” he says.

  He’s looking right at me. I give him a slight nod, and the smile that tips his lips tells me he’s happy with my decision. “What can I do to help?” I ask his mom.

  “Nothing, dear. It’s all set up. Rosa spoiled me yet again with her preparation. Y’all grab a plate,” she says.

  We all gather around and fill our plates with snack foods. Rosa really did go all out. I thought we would go to the dining room, but we don’t. Everyone grabs a seat in the living room. Oddly enough, we take the same seating as earlier, only this time, Rhett sits next to me instead of on the opposite end of the couch. We eat and talk. Molly and Valerie talk about the wedding, which Molly says is going to be small and intimate.

  “What about you, Saylor? What kind of wedding do you want?” Valerie asks me.

  “Honestly, I’ve never thought much about it,” I tell her.

  “You’ve never thought about it? What about with your ex?” Molly says.

  I laugh. “We were together for a while, but our relationship wasn’t all romance and flowers.” I shrug. “We hadn’t made any definite plans, and I was in no hurry to.”

  “Sounds like you dodged a bullet,” Grandpa Rhett says.

  “I think you’re right,” I agree with him. Pete sleeping with Tabitha and getting her knocked up might be one of the best things that’s ever happened to me in my long line of bad situations.

  “Who’s ready for some bullshit?” Jerry asks. His face is split with his grin.

  “Have you ever played?” Grandpa Rhett asks me.

  “No, I have no clue,” I admit.

  “You’re in for a treat, Short Stack,” Rhett says next to my ear.

  Goose bumps break out across my skin. Why is he affecting me like this? He’s just a guy, a really, really good-looking guy. “Why’s that?”

  “These two”—he points to his gramps and Jerry—“are the best bullshitters I know.”

  “So, how do you play?” I ask Jerry.

  “You got a poker face, darlin?” he asks.

  “Um, not that I’m aware of. I’ve never played poker. My extent of card games stops at Go Fish and Uno.”

  Jerry claps his hands and rubs them together. “Sit by me, sweetheart. I’ll show you the ropes.”

  “I don’t think she needs you corrupting her,” Valerie chimes in. “Us ladies will stick together.”

  “Okay, so here’s how you play,” Jake says. I listen to him explain the game, and it doesn’t seem hard. I basically have to bullshit on how many cards I have. I can do this.

  I follow the crowd down to the basement where there is a round professional card table set up. Valerie motions for Molly and me to sit on either side of her, claiming girl power and all that. Grandpa Rhett ends up on my other side. Jerry is beside Molly with Rhett’s dad in the middle of Rhett and Jake across from us.

  “Let the games begin!” Jerry exclaims with a chuckle.

  And so we do. We spend a few hours playing the game that has us in a fit of laughter the entire time. I learned quickly to pay attention, to read each of them. Grandpa Rhett and Jerry are good, but not good enough. All my life I’ve been in the shadows. I’ve watched people, and I’ve hidden my emotions. I know better than anyone how to hide what you’re feeling. I never thought that particular trait would come in handy in anything other than protecting my heart, but here I am calling bullshit on Grandpa Rhett for… I’ve lost count how many times. His brown eyes, not quite the cognac color of Rhett’s, sparkle with laughter.

  “Girlie, you’re giving an old man a run for his money,” he claims, laughing.

  “Oh wait! We’re playing for money? I better step up my game,” I tease him.

  The table bursts into laughter. Grandpa leans into me and whispers, “I told you you were family.”

  My eyes mist with tears as I give him a smile. When I look up, I find Rhett’s eyes on me. He raises his eyebrows in question. I’m not sure if he wants to know if I’m okay or what it is his grandfather just whispered to me. Either way, I smile, letting him know I’m good and quickl
y look away.

  “It’s getting late. We probably ought to get home,” Jake says. Jerry and Rhett’s dad clean up the cards while the rest of us head upstairs. “I’m going to go start the truck.” Jake kisses Molly on the cheek. He walks to the window in the front room and holds up his remote.

  “So, I’ll be there to get you all early in the morning. Around nine,” Rhett says from his spot next to me.

  “Okay. Thank you. Are you sure it’s okay if I tag along?”

  He reaches up and pushes my bangs out of my eyes. “Yeah, Short Stack, it’s okay.”

  “Well, I don’t think we’re going to be going anywhere,” Jake says from behind us. We all turn to face him.

  “Why’s that?” Molly asks.

  “There’s ice everywhere. It’s too slick to drive.”

  “Well, we’ve got the space. Jake and Molly, you can stay in the room just down from Jerry. Saylor, you can stay in the room across the hall from Rhett. He’ll show you where to go. The rest of you follow me,” Grandpa Rhett says. “I’ll dig out something for you to sleep in,” he says, turning to make his way up the steps.

  I stand there with Saylor beside me and watch as everyone disappears up the steps. Gramps put everyone on his side of the house, except for Saylor. She’s on my side. I can’t help but wonder what the old man’s up to. I know he likes Saylor. Me, on the other hand, he’s not a fan of these days. Maybe he can sense the attraction I have for her. He’s putting her on my side of the house to torture me. To know that she’s sleeping right across the hall in my clothes. Yeah, he didn’t offer to get her anything to sleep in. I didn’t miss that either. He’s fucking with me.

  “This way,” I say, placing my hand on the small of her back and leading her to the steps. She doesn’t say anything, just lets me guide her up the stairs. “This is your room. Let me get you something to sleep in.”

  “Thank you, Rhett.”

  I nod and disappear into my room. I almost offered for her to follow me in, but I know that’s a bad decision. I’m not sure I would let her leave once I got her in here. Grabbing a Baxter’s Distillery T-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants, I hand them to her in the hallway. “There’s an attached bath, so you can change in there. If you need anything, I’m just across the hall.” I take a step toward her.

  “I’ll be fine. Goodnight, Whiskey,” she whispers.

  Not able to resist, I lean in and press my lips to her forehead. “Goodnight, Say.” Stepping back, I turn and disappear into my room.

  Stripping down to my boxer briefs, I decide, with guests in the house, I better wear some pajamas as well. Grabbing a pair of flannel pants, just like the ones that I gave Saylor, I slide them on and climb into bed. When I close my eyes, all I can see is Saylor earlier on the couch. Her big blue eyes staring down at me. I can feel her fingers as they slide through my hair. My cock stirs to life. I ignore it. I refuse to take matters into my own hands when the real thing is just across the hall. It would be a poor-ass substitute for her.

  I toss and turn for the better part of an hour before giving up. Throwing off the covers, I decide to go downstairs and grab a glass of milk and maybe one of those cookies to distract me. Quietly as I can, I pull open my door and step out into the hallway. The house is quiet, so the sound of her soft whimper is easy to hear. Stepping closer to her door, I lay my ear against it, listening. I don’t want to go barging in, but I need to know she’s okay. Sniffling and soft crying greet me. Without further thought, I tap lightly on the door. She doesn’t answer. Slowly, I turn the knob. “Saylor?”

  “I-I’m fine,” she says with a sniff.

  The sound of her cries has my chest tightening. I step into the room and shut the door behind me. “What’s wrong?”

  “N-n-nothing, I’m okay. I promise. Just… a rough day.”

  Stepping further into the room, I take a seat on the edge of the bed. I take a minute to appreciate the view. The moonlight is giving off a faint glow, just enough so I can see her hair spread out across the pillows. I can’t really see her face, but I can imagine it’s red, her eyes puffy from her tears. There is no doubt she’s beautiful.

  “Want to talk about it?” I ask her. I’m not really good at this kind of thing, but damn if I can leave her be to cry herself to sleep.

  “I’m okay.” She places her hand on my arm to reassure me.

  It doesn’t. I know she’s trying to pacify me, but her touch, well, let’s just say my already stiff cock is begging for attention. “Try again,” I tell her.

  “It’s nothing. It’s life.” She laughs humorlessly.

  “Come on, Short Stack, you can do better than that.”

  “Why do you call me that?” she asks. “I mean, I told you why I call you Whiskey.”

  I ponder whether or not I should tell her. Maybe it will distract her. “You’re short,” I say, reaching out and tapping her nose.

  “Maybe to you. You’re a damn giant,” she says. “How tall are you?”

  “Six four. How tall are you?”

  “Five four,” she laughs. “I get it.”

  “That’s not all though.”

  “No?”

  “Nope. These,” I say, brushing my hand across her chest. “Stacked.”

  “Seriously?” she asks, surprised.

  “Hell yes,” I assure her.

  “I’m average at best.”

  Leaning down so she can see my face, I say, “You’re perfect. Now, tell me what’s bothering you.”

  “It’s hard to explain.”

  “I’ve got nothing but time.” Standing I round the bed and climb in opposite of her. “Turn over,” I whisper. She does as I ask. Reaching out, I tuck her hair behind her ear. “Start talking, gorgeous.” She’s quiet, and I’m not sure she’s going to talk. I wait her out. I rest my hand on her hip, letting her know I’m still here.

  “When I was two, my parents were killed in a car accident. They were both products of the foster care system, so they had no family.”

  Fuck me. I’m smart enough to read through the lines. I remain quiet, letting her think about what to say next.

  “That left me to the same upbringing. I bounced around from home to home. Some were okay, others were… not. Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of the lucky ones. I escaped before anything terrible could happen. There was some inappropriate touching above my clothes from a few of the older foster kids at my last home. I was twelve. Elaine, she was my social worker and m-my parents,’” she says, her words breaking with so much damn pain.

  I want to tell her that she doesn’t have to tell me, but I think she needs this. To talk about it. I need this. I have this deep-seated desire to know everything about her. I’m like a sponge soaking up as much as I can. Over the past few weeks, she’s slithered her way under my skin, and now I need it all.

  “She was retiring that year. Her husband passed several years earlier from cancer. It would have been too hard for her to be a single mother, but after the final incident and with her retirement, she took me. She brought me into her home as my foster mother.” She takes a deep, shuddering breath. “She had a few pictures of them, of my parents. She didn’t want to give them to me until I was old enough to take care of them. It’s a good thing, because anything I ever had was destroyed at whatever home I was in. Most of the families took as many kids as they could house and the state not ride their case. They did it for the money. Elaine, she did it because she was that kind of person. Her heart was huge, always giving back.”

  Rolling over, I grab the box of tissues and hand them to her.

  “She became my family. She told me my parents loved me and they were so happy when they found out about me. They went to visit her, to tell her the news.” She closes her eyes. “Elaine and I, we baked every Christmas. We would make tins full of goodies to pass out to what felt like half the town.” She laughs softly. “It’s just hard, you know? This is my first Christmas without her.”

  “When did she pass?” She didn’t say that’s wh
at happened, but from the way she talks about her and her being here in West Virginia all alone, that is the only answer. No way would either of them ever been without the other during the holidays, not with the way she speaks of her.

  “October,” she murmurs.

  “Saylor.” Her name is a plea from my lips. My fucking heart is cracking for this beautiful broken girl. Not able to fight it, I pull her against my chest, resting my chin on the top of her head.

  “Pete, that was my ex’s name, he and I decided to sell her house, since we were living here. I went back and cleaned it out, kept a few things, packed up the rest and donated. That day, the day I left her house for the last time, I was in a hurry to get home. Pete and I had dinner plans. When he got home, he was acting weird. He said we needed to talk. Basically, he told me he was getting married. He had gotten his receptionist, who we both worked with since I worked for his family’s company, pregnant. He had been seeing her behind my back.”

  “Motherfucker,” I mumble.

  “He let me sell her house, my home.” She sobs into my chest.

  I can do nothing but hold onto her. Let her know she’s not alone. She’s wrecked me with her confession, so I know her pain has to be unbearable. Her body wracks with sobs, and I hold her tighter, kissing the top of her head.

  “He knew,” she finally says after she’s calmed down. “He knew he was leaving me, and he let me sell it. I left and went to a hotel. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, so I went out. On the way to the hotel, I remembered passing a bar, and that’s when I met Molly and Jake. Molly found out I needed a place to stay and a job, because no way could I go back to working with Pete and his baby mama. They helped me.” She says piecing the story together the best she can through her tears.

  “They’re good people,” I say, kissing the top of her head again.

  “They are. I have a friend, Tara, back in Cincinnati. She tried to get me to move with her, but I chose not to. A few weeks later, she ended up moving to Oregon with her fiancé. She called me a few weeks ago and was angry that I wouldn’t come visit her. We’ve been friends for years, but now that I’m looking at life from a different angle, I see it was more one sided. I’m alone, and sometimes it just gets to me, you know?” she asks through her tears.