Atticus

by S. Bennett

  I’ve never begrudged her any of it because I’ve always loved my sister very much.

  “Where to, Hazel?” she asks again, her voice light and airy as if there’s no ugly past between us.

  But there is.

  “Can we just talk a minute?” I ask, unable to proceed any further. I can’t take a leisurely drive through the country out to the farm with her right now, pretending that everything is okay.

  “Of course,” she says simply and slides the car back into park.

  When I reach out to the dashboard to turn the heater down, I find it’s not even on. I resist the urge to fan myself.

  “Let’s talk about the hospital,” Liz suggests. My eyes snap to hers, and my gut rolls. “I forgive you.”

  My face burns, and my throat feels like it’s coated with sandpaper. I manage to croak out, “I haven’t even apologized yet.”

  Liz gives me a sweet smile—filled with empathy and sisterly love. “Mom’s told me so much about you the past few weeks. I’ve been waiting and waiting for you to reach out, because I would have thought you knew that as your sister, I will always forgive anything you do that might be wayward.”

  “I’m so embarrassed,” I mutter as I look down to my lap where my hands are clenched tightly. “I figured you hated me. I’m sure Trey can’t stand me.”

  “None of it true,” Liz says adamantly. “Granted… Trey’s family is fascinated that our family has a black sheep story that’s fairly juicy. That biker you brought to the hospital was purely scandalous to them, but it’s nothing that should ever keep you away from here on out.”

  I dare to risk a glance up at her. She reaches over to pull one of my hands away from the death grip they have on each other. I get a light squeeze from her. “It’s done, Hazel. It’s in the past. We’re starting over again right now… today… on your birthday. And we’re not looking back, okay?”

  The lump in my throat makes it impossible for me to reply, so I just nod at her as my eyes fill with tears.

  Her eyes do the same, then we’re hugging over the center console of her car, and it feels so damn good I doubt I’ll ever let go.

  “Love you, Haze,” she says, her childhood nickname for me I used to hate but now I hope she always uses.

  “Love you too, Dizzy Lizzy,” I murmur back as I squeeze her extra hard. I realize that’s the first time I’ve said the “L” word to a human being in well over a year, and it doesn’t feel awkward in the slightest.

  CHAPTER 36

  Atticus

  I’m not sure what the heck is going on, but this could potentially be one of the best days of my life.

  It’s Hazel’s birthday, so first and foremost I’m celebrating the day she was born. Without such a purely awesome event, I wouldn’t be the dog I am today. Hazel is my everything.

  But it’s more than just “a birthday”.

  It’s the day that I’ve never seen Hazel happier. She radiates a joy so bright it almost hurts to look at it.

  Okay, that’s a lie. It’s awesome to look at.

  When Oley and I get to the farm, we find Hazel and Liz sitting out on the back patio talking. I immediately take stock of the situation, open my senses, and gauge my human. I get none of the apprehension I felt when her sister showed up at the clinic earlier.

  Hazel feels… light.

  As if she doesn’t have a worry in the world, and I’ve not felt that from her before. She’s always carried around something a bit heavy in her heart that I couldn’t quite put my paw on, and I conclude it must have had to do with Liz.

  Whatever it was is gone.

  I make welcome to Liz, who I don’t think quite knows what to think of me yet. I’m a bold, brash, and in-your-face type of dog, which is how most people like me, but Liz gets a wild look in her eyes when I approach.

  Hazel gently tugs me away by my color, telling me, “Give her some space, Atti.”

  Normally, this would just be nothing more than a challenge issued for me to get even more up in a person’s space, but I don’t want to do anything to ruin Hazel’s mood. I give a baleful look at Liz, who I very much want to like me, and trot off into the yard to take a whiz.

  I do my thing, squatting low to the ground and kicking my back feet out when I’m done. I get distracted by a smell, which leads me to some orange flowers Hazel had planted a few weeks ago. She called them mums, and they’re sort of peppery to my nose.

  When I hear Hazel scream, I jump into high alert, the hair along my backbone standing straight up on end. My head whips to the patio, but then I immediately relax.

  It’s just Alicia, Hazel’s mom. She has a box in her hand with brightly colored paper wrapped around it, and I wonder if she’s brought me a treat.

  Bounding up the patio steps, I barrel into Alicia. I like her a lot, a lot. She always coos over me like I’m a baby, which some would think would threaten my impending adulthood, but I really love it. When she pulls out that sweet voice on me, I always go belly up on her without a second thought.

  And it’s a secret I’ll take to the grave, but she gives better belly scratches than Hazel does, although Hazel gives the best ear rubbins.

  I push my way through the hug that Hazel’s giving her mom, vaguely hearing her say, “I’m so glad you came.” Liz takes a wary step back as I bump my head right into Alicia’s belly. She releases Hazel and bends over to pay sole attention to me for a bit.

  I accept her scratches while keeping a hopeful eye on the gift she has in her hand. Maybe it’s a new bag of sweet potato chips like she feeds me when we’re at her house.

  If she doesn’t reveal it to me soon, I’ll just have to pry open the box and find out for myself.

  CHAPTER 37

  Hazel

  Best birthday ever.

  I hug my mom and Liz more than once as they’re making their way out the door. I know I owe Oley a hug for pushing me to reconcile with Liz. She made it so easy on me, which makes me love her more.

  “We’re on for Saturday, right?” Liz asks hesitantly after pulling away from my last hug. She invited me to dinner at her house, so I could meet Benji.

  I try to keep the tears of sweet happiness at bay. “I can’t wait.”

  “And you can bring Atticus, too,” she says nervously, which makes me laugh so hard I almost double over. Liz, if anything, is not quite comfortable with my dog. I can’t imagine how she’d feel to have him around her child who just started walking within the last few months.

  “I’ll leave him home,” I say, then laugh harder when I see the look of relief on her face. I’m sure, over time, she’ll get used to him. I hope there will be a day Atticus and Benji can play out on the farm together.

  We engage in one last hug, and then I give my mom another. When I pull back from her, I apologize again. “Sorry Atticus ripped into the present you got for me.”

  My mom rolls her eyes. “He didn’t harm anything but the paper.”

  That’s true. He demolished it when we were all eating tacos, and had been halfway through the box that held a beautiful glass hummingbird. I used to collect glass figurines when I was a young teenager, but had forgotten all about it. It brought more tears to my eyes, which were par for the course this evening. Mom told me that all the ones I’d collected were at her house packed safely away when I wanted them.

  One more hug.

  Why not?

  Then I’m waving goodbye to Mom and Liz as they get into their respective cars to leave. The early November air is chilly but feels great on my skin. Atticus sits beside me, head pushed into my hip and my hand scratching idly at his head.

  I look down at him. “Good birthday, huh, buddy?”

  He chuffs and pushes his head into me harder, demanding more rubs.

  “Spoiled,” I mutter as I push him away and we head back into the house.

  Oley’s stretched out in his recliner to take some pressure of his hip. He’s had a long day between work and hosting my birthday party.

  “Want anything?”
I ask as I walk by on the way back to the kitchen to help Charmin clean up. She took on main hostess duties by cooking and serving. Plus, she brought the yummiest homemade chocolate cake with vanilla icing I know I’ll have one more piece of before bed tonight. We made sure to lock it away in the fridge lest a wayward Berner decided to help himself.

  “I’m good,” Oley says without taking his eyes off the TV. He’s been binge watching old Law and Order episodes on Netflix. He told me once his first career choice when he’d been younger was to be a police officer. I asked him what changed, and he went on to tell me the saddest story about how one of his dogs got hit by a car and there wasn’t anything he could do to save it. He decided then to become a vet.

  Such a common occurrence, particularly out in the country. I wonder how many other boys and girls had something similar happen, and had it lead to their desire to become an animal doctor. I bet there were many.

  I step up to the kitchen sink, grabbing a towel to help dry the dishes. Charmin tries to shoo me away, telling me the birthday girl doesn’t have to do a thing, but I insist. I still have way too much energy from the excitement of the day to just sit still.

  The only thing to mar the perfectness of the day is Bernard’s absence. I know Oley invited him but my hopes for mending my relationship with Bernard were crushed when Oley walked in the door with only Atticus this evening.

  Charmin chatters away about a date she has set for Sunday. She’s been dating a lot, but to my relief she’s being choosy. I think perhaps she’s grown over the last several months, and she’s realized she should hold out for something a lot better than what she’s had.

  I wonder when I’ll start dating. It’s not something I’m interested in right now, although I’ve had some offers here and there. But I’m still married to Darren, so it doesn’t feel right to open a new door to another man without making sure the other one is solidly closed, locked, and the key thrown away. We’ll be eligible to file for divorce in less than four weeks as couples have to be separated and living apart for twelve months in North Carolina before allowed to petition the court for divorce. I’ve not talked to Darren at all since he came over that one night back in August. I suppose I’ll need to contact him soon enough to figure out the best way to get this done. I know I’m entitled to things… half the possessions we accumulated together in our six-year marriage… but I really don’t want anything.

  There’s a knock on the front door, and Atticus leaps up from the kitchen floor where he’d flopped down. He starts barking, which is not unusual in and of its self, but the nature of his barks is quite different than normal.

  Where they are normally loud and defensive, they come out high pitched with childish excitement. He starts prancing in place, staring at me for a moment, then to the hall that leads to the foyer.

  Frowning, I throw the towel down and call out so Oley doesn’t bother getting up, “I’ll get it.”

  Atticus bolts out of the kitchen and goes tearing down the hall, his nails scrabbling for traction on the slick hardwood floor once he hits it. I follow him to the door, which has a thick frosted oval cut into the center of it. With the porchlight on, I can see two figures standing on the other side.

  Jumping at the door, Atticus yips and barks with such frenzy I’m afraid he’s going to pee on himself. I don’t know what’s on the other side, but I know whatever it is has to be good because Atticus thinks so.

  Grabbing his collar, I pull him back and put him in a “sit”. It takes three times for him to actually put his ass on the floor and stay, which by this time, Oley comes hobbling into the foyer with curiosity filling his eyes.

  Oley puts a gentle hand on Atticus head coupled with his own low command. “Stay”. For whatever reason, Atticus listens to Oley better than he does me, which certainly can chafe at times.

  However, this affords me safe opportunity to unlock the door and pull it open to see who is on the other side.

  I breathe out a huge, relieved sigh when I see Bernard standing there.

  Tyrone is right beside him.

  They each have a wrapped birthday present in hand.

  Tyrone grins at me, all teeth and happiness. Bernard’s face is blank and emotionless. I recognize it for what it is… an uncertainty as to how I’ll react when I see him after weeks of silence.

  I merely lunge for my friend, throwing my arms around his neck and practically strangling him while I gush, “Oh my God. I’m so happy to see you. You came for my birthday.”

  Bernard returns my hug hard, almost knocking the breath out of me. “Wasn’t going to miss it, Hazel.”

  “Sorry we’re late,” Tyrone adds. “I couldn’t get out of work early today.”

  I get knocked backward by Atticus butting his way in between me and Bernard. He hasn’t seen Bernard in weeks either, which explains his frantic exuberance when he heard the knock on the door.

  Giving Atticus his due, I step over and hug Tyrone. “It’s good to see you.”

  “Happy birthday,” he says as he gives me a short squeeze.

  When I pull back, I find Bernard squatted down to give Atticus attention, balancing his present for me in one hand. Atticus makes a lunge at it, teeth all bared and prepared to take a bite at the wrapping paper, but I manage to grab his collar to pull him back.

  “Get inside, everyone,” Oley orders from the threshold with a grin on his face. “I was just wanting another piece of cake.”

  “Actually,” Bernard says. “I’d like a moment alone with Hazel.”

  “Take your time,” Tyrone says, giving a squeeze to his dad’s shoulder and following Oley inside. Atticus trots alongside him, nipping at the birthday gift Tyrone is carrying.

  I have no clue what led to Tyrone and Bernard being together, but that’s just as important to me as the fact that Bernard is here. Tyrone had settled on possibly waiting forever for his dad to want a relationship, so something happened and I’m dying to find out what.

  After they’re gone and the door is closed, I turn to face Bernard. He hands the present to me.

  “Thank you,” I say as I accept it, even without knowing what it is.

  Bernard nods at it. “I wanted to get you something with meaning. I knew exactly what I wanted to get, but it was over at the mall. It was going to be a long damn walk, so I called Tyrone and asked him for a ride.”

  My lips split apart into what’s perhaps the widest smile that has ever graced my face. I understand exactly what he’s conveying to me. He wanted to reach out to Tyrone and was still fearful, despite the fact Tyrone made it about as easy on him as humanly possible.

  Bernard simply used my birthday and his desire to get me something as the catalyst to force him to reach out to Tyrone.

  Now that right there is the best present ever.

  “Open it,” he orders.

  “Okay,” I say with a chuckle, ripping into the paper. I peel back a large chunk before I realize it’s a book.

  To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

  “Figured it was about time you read it,” he says by way of explanation. “I wanted you to have the hardback version, which was why I needed to get to the bookstore at the mall. A book that special you should have in hardback.”

  Tears prick my eyes over the thoughtfulness of his gesture, not just in the journey he made there and reaching out to his son, but that he wanted the book to be a real treasure to me. I know how little money Bernard actually has, so this purchase is a major thing.

  “Oh, Bernard,” I murmur as I run my fingers along the spine of the book. It’s got a glossy jacket that shimmers in the porch light. I haven’t read a book in years, but I can’t wait for everyone to go home so I can start. Looking up to him, I say, “This really means a lot.”

  He scratches at his head with a sheepish smile. “And I’m sorry. For being such a jerk to you. I should have never said the things I did.”

  “I deserved it,” I say with a halting hand raised.

  “No, you didn’t. You are my de
ar friend, and I know you were only doing it from a position of love. And I want you to know… I’m grateful. I have my son back in my life now, and I don’t think I knew how much I actually needed it.”

  “I do love you, Bernard,” I tell him sincerely. “You’re a very important part of my life, and I would never intentionally hurt you.”

  “Love you too, kiddo,” he says gruffly.

  “Want some cake?” I ask with a grin.

  “Oh yeah,” he says with a laugh. “And a beer if you got one.”

  “I can arrange that,” I reply as I loop my arm through his.

  Truly the best birthday ever.

  CHAPTER 38

  Atticus

  I’m fascinated by that tiny human sitting on Liz’s lap.

  He smells amazing, especially his butt. I watched earlier as Hazel tried to help Liz change a poopy diaper. My mouth watered, and Hazel gagged.

  The dirty diaper went into a plastic bag, sealed, and then dropped into Oley’s garbage can that also comes equipped with one of those lids I can’t pry open.

  Still, my belly’s not complaining. Hazel made a turkey and a ham for Thanksgiving, and I’ve had plenty of both. I’ve just now digested enough that I can push myself up from the cool floor and amble over to the baby they call Benji.

  I can tell Liz is nervous, but I show her my very best behavior. I don’t jump, lunge, bark, or even slobber. Slowly, I approach.

  Liz’s husband Trey likes me. He had dogs growing up is what he said when we were first introduced. He watches me with an easy smile. Liz’s eyes come to me, and she tenses just slightly.

  I pause.

  She stares at me.

  Finally, I get a tiny smile and a nod from her. “Want to see Benji, Atticus?”