I wanted to bring my hands to my face to hide myself, but I hadn’t even washed them yet. I could still smell myself on my skin. If my nose wrinkled much more, it would recede inside my skull.
I needed to get to the bathroom. Once I washed my face and hands of the previous evening’s antics and let it drain away down the sink, I’d feel a little better.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and let my feet touch against the cold wood floor. I let it seep up through my skin, cooling down my legs. It didn’t help much.
I recoiled a little before reaching for the door handle. Would the smell stick to the metal? Would I infect the room forever? I shook my head and told myself I was being stupid before grabbing the handle and yanking the door open.
My baggy t-shirt covered most of my thighs, allowing me to walk through their apartment without feeling like I was revealing too much of myself. I made my way across the living room, heading straight for the bathroom door.
I grabbed the handle of it, but when I twisted the handle, the door didn’t open. It was locked.
“Sorry,” a voice called. “Occupied.”
I gritted my teeth together. Great. I turned on my heels and went into the kitchen. I couldn’t wash my face out here, but I could wash my hands and ease my anxiety a little.
As soon as the tap was running and the dish soap was all over my hands, a heaviness lifted from my heart. The smell would be gone, replaced with apples, and no one would know of my shame. Not unless they saw it on my face, anyway.
Once my hands were clean and dry, I went to the fridge and got myself an icy glass of water. I sipped at it and leaned my butt against the counter, trying to relax as best as I could.
I took in their apartment, illuminated by bright morning light coming in through the big, featureless windows. I tried to look at it from a new perspective. This was my sister’s home. She was once my best friend in the whole world. Why couldn’t I just be happy for her, even though we had different ideals and ways of life?
I heard someone clear their throat. Alexander had appeared out of the bedroom door, dressed in workout gear. His broad chest was covered with a baggy tank top and on his legs were thin, worn sweatpants that looked like they were older than I was.
I averted my gaze immediately. I didn’t want him to see what had happened. My actions were written on my face, plain for anyone to see in my expression. The last thing I needed was for my sister to find out I’d masturbated to the thought of her boyfriend.
Even just thinking about it made my stomach roil. I was so stupid. I’d put myself in this awkward position and now there was nothing I could do about it. I’d always have to live with the knowledge that he had once been my fantasy.
“Morning, Kayleigh,” he said as he walked past me, waving his hand lazily.
I nodded at him before lowering my head again. I didn’t want to look at him, let alone talk to him. I couldn’t trust myself not to say something that I would later come to regret.
“Just gonna get my workout in,” Alexander said.
He stepped in front of the TV and instantly began stretching. He lifted his right arm above his head and leaned to the left with his free hand on his hip. I tried not to look at him. The fabric of the tank top stretched across his body, molding against the shape of his muscles.
“Sure,” I said. “I’m just waiting for the bathroom.”
Alexander laughed. “You’ll be waiting a while,” he said. “She takes about forty-five minutes in the morning.”
There was nothing I could say back to that, so I nodded again.
Great, I thought. Hogging the bathroom still, after all these years. Some things never change.
I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to sit and wait for her to be done, all the while forced to watch Alexander sweat right in front of me. It wasn’t fair. I just wanted to wash my face and try and clear my head a little bit, but how was I supposed to do that when he was there?
I continued sipping at my water, wishing that time would pass quicker so I could just go back home. I just wanted to be back in my room with all of my childish posters and bright pink walls, where everything was normal and safe. I didn’t want to be here, having my sexual awakening right in front of my sister’s boyfriend.
By the time my water was almost finished, Alexander was starting his workout. He’d removed his shirt and had dropped to the ground to do push-ups. His muscles bulged as he lifted himself off the floor before sinking down again.
He was the perfect specimen. Not only was he gorgeous with a great facial structure, but he was strong and covered in muscles over every inch of his body.
It didn’t take long for him to start sweating. He was whispering under his breath, counting each push up he did, rising into the double digits quickly. I watched as his hair flopped over his forehead, free from styling products.
Just watching him made my body start to respond. There was nothing else to look at. The TV was off and they didn’t even have any art on the walls. The only thing I could stare at was him and his perfect, sculpted body.
I was tempted to move back into the bedroom, but that would be such an obvious move. He’d figure it out in an instant if I didn’t stand there, pretending to wait for the bathroom while in reality I watched his sweaty, warm body pumping through repetitive motions.
Disturbing thoughts entered my mind, thoughts I couldn’t control. I wondered what his sweat would taste like. I wondered what it would feel like to have those strong arms lift me into the air and allow my legs to wrap tight around his waist.
Just thinking about having him between my legs sent my brain spiraling. That warmth spread through my body again so fast I hardly knew what was happening. One second I was fine, the next I was trembling.
I squeezed my thighs together, desperate to stop it before the throbbing returned, but the pressure only made it worse. I felt the spot between my lower lips engorge, swelling up as all the blood rushed down there.
My hands tightened around the water glass. They desperately wanted to reach down into my underwear and fondle my throbbing spot.
The change in my personality was insane. I couldn’t believe that twenty-four hours in this apartment had turned me into a pathetic, dripping, lustful mess. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. Where was the strong, level-headed girl I had once been? Was this all my parents’ fault for keeping me under strict supervision? Was this all of my teenage sexual energy coming out all at once, or was this something else?
I had no idea. I couldn’t tell. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to leap over the island counter in front of me and press my body against Alexander’s. I didn’t care that he was with my sister. I didn’t care that he was hers. None of that mattered.
It was torture. All of it. I didn’t want to be there anymore. I didn’t want to have those feeling for Alexander, or anyone for that matter, but I had no choice. They had reared their ugly head and they needed to be dealt with.
I was going to go insane if I didn’t do something, anything.
I moved toward the island counter and pressed my stomach against it. Once I set the glass down, my hands were free to do as they pleased. There was no way Alexander could have seen me. The counters were blocking the view of my body from the stomach down, so I was free to do what my body yearned for.
I moved my fingers to my underwear and slipped them beneath the soft material. I was already soaking wet down there. My arousal had soaked into the cotton and was starting to drip down my thighs. I soaked my fingers in the liquid and let them slip between my lower lips, finding their way to my clitoris.
To stop myself from moaning, I clenched my jaw and pressed my lips together. My heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears. I rubbed myself, slowly at first, as I watched Alexander just a few feet away from me.
By now he’d switched to doing crunches. His fingers were laced together behind his head and his back was curved where he brought his knees up to his chin. The sweat was pourin
g off him now, soaking into his sweatpants.
Christ, I just wanted to touch him. I wanted to lick the sweat off his pecs. I wanted to let my hands roam down his stomach and down to his sweatpants, diving beneath the fabric there to grab his thick co—
The sound of the bathroom door closing snapped me out of my mindless lusting. I immediately yanked my hand out of my underwear and shoved it down to the side, out of sight from the bathroom.
I didn’t want to look over straight away. I didn’t want my sister to see my guilty face.
“Kayleigh.” She said my name sharply. “The bathroom is free now.”
I looked over to her, feeling the heat rising up into my cheeks. She was holding a laundry basket, filled to the brim with dirty clothes.
“Thanks,” I muttered, storming past her and locking myself in the bathroom.
I put the toilet seat down and sat on it, bringing my heels up to the edge of it. I wrapped my arms around my knees and held them close to my body. I closed my eyes and began to swear at myself.
Fucking idiot, I thought. Fucking moron. Jesus Christ, how can I be so stupid?
Now it was my turn to hog the bathroom—I didn’t ever want to leave, otherwise I’d have to face my shame.
Again.
Chapter 5
Greed
Once I’d been forced out of the bathroom by my sister’s anguished cries, I had rushed into the spare bedroom and slammed the door shut behind me. I’d stayed there all heckin’ day, refusing to come out. How could I even think about showing my face to them?
By now it was obvious what was happening. There was no denying it. My sister had seen me with my hands in my underwear, rubbing myself while staring at her boyfriend.
I was going to have to live with the consequences of my actions for the rest of my life. This weekend was going to forever stain our relationship. We were never going to be able to get past this, I knew it. This was going to be our undoing.
I spent most of the day in bed, trying not to cry. There was a deep well inside me constantly on the verge of overflowing, pressing at my sinuses for release. I had betrayed my sister, betrayed my family, betrayed my morals and my God.
In twenty-four hours I had turned my entire life upside down. And as I lay there in the bed, thinking about everything that had happened, I couldn’t understand how everything had gone so wrong.
I’d been around boys before. I’d been alone with boys before. Hell, I’d even kissed boys before. Sure, we had been dating, and it was with my parents’ permission and under supervision… but I had still experienced things.
What was it about Alexander that sent me wild? It was clear to me that it was something about him, an air around him or an aura or something. It called out to me and sent cold shivers down my spine every time I looked at him.
A knock sounded on the bedroom door. I cuddled deeper into the bed, refusing to answer the door. I didn’t care who it was on the other side—I just needed space. Mostly I needed to think about what I’d done and punish myself, but I also needed space from their disappointed looks.
“Kayleigh,” a deep voice warned. “You need to come out.”
I ignored him. Out of the two of them, he was definitely not the one I wanted to see. If it wasn’t for him, none of this would have happened. If it was just my sister living here, we would be having a brilliant weekend filled with snacks and laughter and pajama parties. He had ruined it all. I was willing to bet he had used his body to sway Stephanie. Maybe like me, she was blinded by his beauty. She didn’t realize what she was doing, flaunting him around her impressionable, virginal little sister.
“Kayleigh,” Alexander called through the door. “Come on, we’re really worried about you.”
His voice didn’t sound that worried to me. He still sounded the same. Just a smug, arrogant asshole that had ruined my relationship with my sister in twenty-four hours.
It wasn’t like we were close before this, either. We’d barely talked for five years. And now? Now I was probably going to lose her forever.
I curled up tighter, pulling my knees to my chin and hugging my shins. I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to go home, to be back in the safety of my childish bedroom, thrown back into my childish life.
“Come on,” Alexander moaned. “You have to come out.”
“Leave me alone!” I shouted.
I didn’t want to interact with them at all, but if they kept disturbing me then I had no choice. I just wanted them to leave me alone until it was time to go home, then I would never have to look either of them in the face ever again.
“We’re not going anywhere,” Alexander said. “We need to figure this out, okay?”
“There’s nothing to figure out!” I continued shouting. “I’m staying in here until it’s time to go home and that’s the end of it!”
For a moment, there was only silence on the other side of the door. I thought they’d finally left me alone, so I lifted my head from the mattress and stared at the door as I strained to hear.
“Fuck this,” Alexander swore loudly.
I heard a hand grab the door handle and shake it as they yanked on it.
“No, stop it,” Stephanie cried.
Then there was a low, muffled conversation. I heard them talking rapidly with one another as they discussed the situation.
“No,” Alexander yelled, his voice abruptly distinct and close. “I’m not having her tell us what to do in our own home.”
“Alex, stop,” my sister argued.
It was too late. He stepped into the bedroom and shut the door behind him. I leaped off the bed and stood awkwardly in front of it, tugging my shirt down over my jeans as I tried to cover myself in front of him.
“Leave me alone,” I said, my voice quiet and low.
“No,” Alexander snapped. “You’re a guest in our home. You don’t get to bully us into getting what you want.”
He took a quick step toward me, starting to close the gap between us. I could already feel the heat in my body. I was yearning for him, desperate to reach out and touch him.
“Now you’re going to tell me what’s wrong,” he started. “Then we’re going to go outside and apologize to your sister. She thinks she’s done something to upset you.”
The tears I had been struggling with started brimming up again. My sister, my lovely sister, the one who had always looked out for me and wanted the best for me. The girl who protected me from our parents for as long as she could.
“She hasn’t done anything,” I whispered. “It’s me. It’s all me.”
“Well maybe you should tell her that,” Alexander insisted. “She’s out there worrying about you for nothing.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
The tears overflowed, tracking down my cheeks and dripping onto my chest. As soon as he saw that, Alexander stepped toward and leaned his head down to look at me..
“Seriously,” he said. “What’s going on? Why do you want to leave already?”
“I just...” I had no answer. He was being so gentle with me, his face full of concern. As much as I racked my brain for a conceivable lie, nothing came. Not a damn thing.
I started to panic, my thoughts scrambling. t didn’t matter what it was. They would accept whatever I came up with. They would just nod their heads and tell me I was being a stupid girl and that I should just try to enjoy the rest of the weekend as best as I could. I couldn’t lie, not when he was being kind. But there was no way I was going to tell him the truth. No way. So, I just stood there, my mouth hanging open.
“Kayleigh?” he prompted.
“I don’t want to say.”
It was the only thing I could think of.
Alexander sighed, his shoulders slumping, and he lowered his head to look down to the floor. He shook it slowly, swaying from side to side, before his fingers came up to the bridge of his nose. He pinched it tightly for a moment, breathing deeply.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I really am. I didn’t want
to ruin this weekend.”
“You haven’t,” Alexander said. “We’re just worried about you. Stephanie has been looking forward to this for months. She’s been so excited and she’s disappointed it’s not going how she expected.”
“Me too,” I agreed.
That was the truth, too. I was disappointed. All I wanted to do was spend some quality time with my sister. Instead, everything had become so messed up. I didn’t know what to do next, let alone if I was ever going to see my sister again after this weekend.
“Look, I’m sorry if we got off on the wrong foot,” Alexander began. “I just wanted you both to have a great weekend and I’m sorry if I was partly to blame.”
“No,” I said, my voice trailing off weakly. “No, it’s nothing like that.”
I tried to be strong, to deny it all, but my voice betrayed me. It was obvious that he was the problem here, otherwise he wouldn’t have said anything.
“Let’s start again, okay?” Alexander asked.
Then he held out his hand for me to shake. I stared at it for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea for me to touch him. I didn’t want to have a reaction when he was standing so close to me, all of his attention on me.
“For Stephanie?” he asked.
I’d been staring at his open hand for ages. There was no other choice. I grabbed it and shook, feeling my limp hand crushed in his.
To my horror, he pulled his arm toward him, dragging my arm along with it. Before I could do anything, he had pulled me into a tight hug. I felt my body pressed against his as his arms wrapped around my shoulders and waist.
He didn’t stop there, though. He craned his head to the side and buried his face in the crook of my neck. As he breathed out, I felt my neck break out into shivers. They rolled down my body in electric waves as my stomach broke out into butterflies.
Sister's Arrogant Boyfriend Page 3