by Jen Valena
“I went to harvest food yesterday morning. When I returned, she was gone.”
“Was she taken?”
“I believe she left on her own accord.”
Huldo’s fury reddened his face. “What did you do?”
“That is the problem. I did not know what to do.” Tyrsten rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands.
“How? You are meant for each other.”
“Perhaps not.”
“Just stop.” Feron threw his hands in the air. “Get over your self-loathing.”
“Why did you leave us behind?” Huldo asked.
“To figure us out. Our callings.”
Huldo scoffed. “You are not seeing the simple answer. You are meant to be with her and solve the problem of Garrick.”
Feron swallowed his aggravation. “What about Ithia? She is strong, resourceful, but with the forces out there, I would not want to travel alone.”
Huldo nodded. “We must find her.”
Tyrsten stared into the fire and ignored them. “She does not want me to find her.”
Huldo grabbed Tyrsten by the shirt. “If you master yourself, she will!” He released him and stormed away.
Feron made eye contact with Tyrsten and tightened his jaw. “Remember, you are not the only one who cares about Ithia’s well-being.”
Feron and Rhema left the room. Iris stayed behind, contemplating her cousin sulking in the corner.
Grief flailed inside him.
When Iris could no longer stand to see him in pain, she crossed the room to sit next to him and squeezed his hand. “You fear the death of yourself. What you have been. Who you believe you are.”
“What?”
“You have always known what you were going to be. You are lucky in that way. It was easy for you. Ithia is unpredictable. You want change for our world, but you do not want to accept change in yourself. There is no half committing to anything—not to your calling and certainly not to love.”
Tyrsten pulled her in for a hug. “How did you get so wise, little one?”
“You are a good teacher.”
At the back of the Inn, Tyrsten found Feron and Huldo talking frantically.
Before Tyrsten could speak, Huldo said, “We are going to find her with or without you.”
“I want to help.” Tyrsten grinned in hopes of making his brother forgive him. “Hu, you finally get what you always wanted. I admit that I am not perfect.”
Huldo smirked.
Tyrsten’s smile faded. “Why did you stay here?”
“The Seer told us you would return. I assumed that she meant Ithia too. Oh, and the old Seer asked me to give you a message.”
“For me?” Tyrsten knew better than to be surprised.
“Karma is not so much as when you do bad, that bad comes back to you. It is when you keep punishing yourself for your mistakes instead of learning from them.”
“Apt advice, I say.” Feron patted Tyrsten on the shoulder.
“Trouble has a knack of finding Ithia.” Huldo tried to sound breezy. “So we need to find her first.”
✹ ✹ ✹
Nolan didn’t release Ithia from her bindings. He retrieved his horse and sat Ithia in front of him on the saddle. Ithia barely spoke. The longer she studied his ways, the more she came to accept that making a break for it was laughable. He was a trained warrior and tracker. No, this was a time for praying.
As the sun began to set, they stopped for the night. Nolan tied her wrists, once again, to a tree and lay down beside her. He snored as he had the night before. She heard the ramblings of his mind. As much as this man wanted to know her, help her, he hadn’t the faintest clue on how to accomplish it.
Ithia stared up through the barren tree branches. She had never been so alone with someone next to her.
Ithia called out to Tyrsten’s higher self to meet her there. She wanted to say goodbye since she was heading to Garrick and likely her doom.
Then she waited. And waited. Perhaps she had done something wrong.
Ithia was about to give in to sleep when Tyrsten’s image finally appeared, radiantly golden.
“Please understand, I needed to leave,” she said. “It didn’t seem healthy for you and me to be together there anymore. And I was tired of being confused.”
Tyrsten nodded.
“And now Nolan has me. He is taking me to Garrick. This must be the way my Fate ends.”
“No. You can make your own way.”
As the image faded from his mind, Tyrsten noted a small creek, a distinctive knoll and cluster of deciduous trees marking her location, giving him a point of reference.
✹ ✹ ✹
They continued on their journey on one horse. Held tightly between Nolan’s arms, she should have been warmer. The chill of the winter air penetrated her skin much easier than when Tyrsten held her.
Ithia had an idea. She formed small energy balls that Nolan would not be able to see and dropped them along their trail.
“Have you thought about it?” Nolan asked as if they were in mid-conversation.
Distracted by the production of an energy trail, she hadn’t been following his mind’s ramblings. “What?”
“How you are going to defeat Garrick?”
“Yes, I have thought about it, but I’m no closer to an answer.”
“What about your powers?”
“They are limited. I’m still learning.” She was strangely not put out by talking about her mission with Nolan. She would have rather discussed this with Tyrsten, but she was curious about Nolan’s take, as no suggestions had been given up until now.
“You were able to heal Tyrsten without training. Your talents are innate.”
“That leaves a lot to chance. I might not come out alive.”
“Maybe you are not meant to.”
“What?”
“The vision said you were to challenge an unworthy authority. It did not say you would live.”
The truth of his words hit her like an energy ball to the face. No one had said, even if she was successful, that she would make it out alive. Maybe that was the secret Tyrsten had kept from her since the beginning.
15 ✹ Messenger Within
My thoughts are swimming, engulfed by my own fears.
I cannot go back to where I was, the sky growls there.
Eclipse the moon tonight, so I cannot see my illusions.
— Ithia Sydran
Ithia studied Nolan’s uniform while she ate, hands now tied in front of her. “Were you loyal to Garrick?”
“I have spied for both the Magians and for Garrick.” Nolan glanced down at his uniform. “However, after you arrived, after I saw you for what you really were, it made me question everything. Then I decided to align with you.”
“Why?”
“To be on the path to a better future.”
“Hmm.” Ithia didn’t share his confidence. “What made you spy for Garrick?”
“I studied with the Sauvants when I came of age. During my time, I do not think we received proper training or guidance. Although, how egalitarian was the training before? I believe the Magians always kept the people subservient to them.”
“So Magians had their own interests at heart?”
“The teachings are not bad at their core, but anyone can manipulate beliefs to serve themselves and keep others dutiful.” Nolan bounced his knees in agitation. “From what I see, the true spiritual practice is only shared with Magians, not freely shared with the people.”
“You want me to change the Magian control? Hasn’t Garrick done that already?”
“He just tossed everything out. You have the powers without the corruption. You can right wrongs. For example, I was wronged. You see, when I was Actuated, my Sauvant told me I was just a soldier. But I am… more—” Nolan, overwhelmed with frustration, stood up. He kicked dirt to snuff out the small campfire. “We must go!”
Ithia didn’t budge. When he grabbed her arm, she said, “I’m not moving until I unde
rstand why you feel this way about Magians. I need to hear all the perspectives.”
Nolan threw his hands in the air in defeat. “My Sauvant said my issue was pride. He said that I had to get over being a Hero.” His words were no longer for her. “But I am in charge of my destiny. He held back my full power. I could feel it during the Actuation. The Sauvants were social engineers, preventing us from bettering ourselves!”
“I was told that the Sauvants help discover our potential. You don’t believe that?”
“Why would he tell me that I am to remain as a nothing? I refuse to be limited, just as you are not bound by their rules. You are a female Sidari. You prove that they are wrong. And when I beheld you, I knew that you were my calling—to build a new world.” Nolan grimaced. “Tyrsten was my hope for a while, but he does not truly want change. He holds too tightly to what the Sauvants taught him. But you—your very existence demands we reevaluate our ways.”
Ithia gulped. “And Garrick’s other supporters have similar stories?”
“I knew you would understand!” Nolan almost giggled with what he regarded as her acceptance. “Some say the issues in our society gave Garrick a reason and an opportunity to claim control. Our problems were linked to our teachings, or more importantly, those who taught them. People were unhappy. Many felt the Sauvants had manipulated them, disempowered them. More and more Magians became obsessed with maintaining power over people other than helping them.”
“About your Sauvant’s ideas on being a Hero, aren’t we all the hero of our own life? What if he wanted you to stop focusing on being a hero, and then you would naturally become one?”
“To work on a righteous path without thought of recognition, and I would be rewarded?”
“Exactly. You have the ability for great things, focus on that, instead of the label.”
He fed wood to the fire.
Ithia heard his mind whirling.
“Nolan.” Ithia gathered her strength of will and felt her energy expand. “Tying me up and forcing me to confront Garrick is not the way for me to fulfill my destiny. If you want me to be the person you say you see, then respect me to make my own choices. If you want to be a hero—if you wish to end the oppression—then stop trying to control me.”
Nolan deliberated for a moment before he pulled out his knife. He knelt before her, cut her ties and kissed the tops of her hands. He stared into her eyes as he softly stroked her bruised wrists. Nolan abruptly stopped his caress as if he had been unaware of touching her. “You are the future. Please, do not run from it.”
Ithia rubbed the feeling back into her hands.
Back on the horse, she stole glances of the sky, hoping to see Tyrsten’s Raven overhead, but she saw no black bird.
Nolan’s opinion of Magians was tainted by his lust for recognition. But what if there was some truth in his words? Power has a tendency to corrupt even the best intentions.
Nevertheless, how corrupt Magians may or may not be was not Ithia’s main concern right now. She had to escape. She was relieved to be out of the restraints. However, escaping would have to be left in the hands of Fate.
Nolan seemed more relaxed now that he thought Ithia had accepted their plight. She had sympathy for him. He was a lost soul, desperately wanting an answer. That didn’t negate the fact he had taken her against her will, a basic faux pas in her book. Despite her speech about letting her find her own destiny, it seemed clear that Nolan still intended to take her directly to Garrick.
Ithia then noticed the silhouette of a large bird hovering above the tree tops. Her heart raced. She was sure Nolan heard it pounding.
Golden feathers distinguished it as a massive eagle. Her hopes dashed. Still, she fantasized that the animal could whisk her away. The possibility of this theory grew as the eagle didn’t let them out of its sight. Another ally? Another threat? Or was this just a bird scouting for prey scurrying away from the horse’s hooves?
Unwittingly, Nolan came to the clearing in which Tyrsten had discovered her in the valley below Kladmunt. Ithia recognized the place. A jolt passed through her. How she ended up back here was beyond her. Whatever the reason, this was a chance for her freedom.
“Can we rest?” she asked precisely at the point where she wanted to position herself. Her eyes distinguished the spot where the air wavered ever so slightly. She hoped Nolan’s eyes were incapable of detecting the fluctuation.
He lowered her down off the horse. She meandered over to the outcropping of rocks that held the key to escape. She was at the portal once again.
The eagle landed on a branch above her.
Ithia waited for the perfect moment.
In the distance, two men approached on horseback. The distraction she had hoped for.
Nolan hissed at Ithia, “Hide behind those rocks. I will rid us of Garrick’s soldiers.” He trotted a few paces to meet them away from her.
Ithia stepped up to the place where the air shimmered. She held her breath and dreaded what was to come next.
She jumped.
Unexpectedly, the eagle swooped down behind her. It screeched in protest. The massive talons grasped her shoulders, causing both her and the eagle to fly into the adjacent universe, wings spread wide.
The worlds fought over her body. She pleaded for the dueling worlds to have the decency to finish her off.
When Ithia finally collapsed on the other side of the veil, she felt some unnamed piece of herself had remained behind.
She knew exactly where she was, on Earth’s side of the crack between the two worlds.
The eagle released her and perched itself on a nearby rock. It took a moment for Ithia’s brain to realign, and she still could not move her body from the stress of shifting realities.
“What are you doing?” she asked Eagle.
“I had to attach myself to you before coming here, you had not accepted me into your consciousness yet.”
“Another spirit guide?”
He bowed his head. “At your service.”
“But we are back on Earth. How are you able to show up here?”
“We do not vanish on this side.”
“When I left the cabin, I didn’t intend to come back here, but now I’m unsure if I ever want to go back to Ma’thea. I thought I was making the right decision to leave Tyrsten, but then Nolan kidnapped me. Can I really trust my instincts?”
“You have already struggled with this.”
“Yeah, well, here I am, again. And the last time I came here, I needed to go back to Ma’thea to know if Tyrsten had survived the mercenaries. But—”
“How is now different?”
“It’s all messed up. Tyrsten isn’t happy, because he is so confused, mostly about me. And I don’t want Nolan to hand me over to Garrick, probably to be killed for no good reason.”
“You want to fly away because you think you are failing at your life?”
She averted her eyes. “Why have you shown up now?”
“I am the messenger. I aid you in your life’s purpose. To address you coming back here.”
“Well, I wasn’t running away. I was escaping. There’s a difference.”
“Are you so sure? You are here, back on Earth. Yet Ma’thea is your true home, and where your path awaits.”
“I had to get away form Nolan.”
“Did you need to go through the veil to accomplish this?”
“But he—”
“He represents how others may envy your ability to soar, as smaller birds attack larger birds. He wants to catch the updraft of your wings.”
“He had upsetting ideas about how to fulfill my destiny—like sacrificing me.”
“What events might have unfolded if you had stayed?”
“Even if Nolan realized his plan was deeply flawed, I could have been captured by Garrick’s real soldiers.”
“Ask yourself what is on the other side of this veil. All that it entails. What are you really running from? Do you fear what you may be asked to sacrifice? Did you maneuve
r yourself to this location since you left the cabin?” Eagle tilted his head sideways. “Perhaps those soldiers are exactly the answer that you asked for. It is time to claim your strength.”
✹ ✹ ✹
Tyrsten awoke that morning with an image in his mind of a creek, a distinctive knoll and a cluster of deciduous trees. He described the vision to Huldo and Feron, and they recognized the spot immediately.
They arrived hours later and saw evidence of recent activity. Tyrsten was certain that Ithia had been there, and she wasn’t alone. That worried him.
Tyrsten placed his hand on a tree to communicate in hopes of an explanation. The message was weak, as if his telepathic link wavered, but did indicate a direction.
Tyrsten traveled a few hundred yards. “A light.” He charged up to a glowing violet orb that hovered at eye level. He touched it. “Ithia!”
Excited, they followed a trail of orbs for miles until they saw a soldier in the distance.
Tyrsten stayed behind as Feron and Huldo rode ahead to investigate.
As Huldo neared the soldier, he recognized the hardened face. “Nolan, you were to stay at the Vihar.”
Nolan curled his lip. “I had others things to attend to.”
Feron searched the ground for other hoof marks and then waved Tyrsten to join them.
Tyrsten had never held a favorable opinion of Nolan, but his unexpected appearance so far from the Vihar made him even more suspicious. Tyrsten could sense Nolan’s nervousness at his arrival. Probing his thoughts was difficult, however, a strong image of Ithia burned in Nolan’s mind.
Feron studied marks on the ground. “There is another with you.”
“You are mistaken.”
“What are you doing out here?” Tyrsten expanded his awareness to locate Ithia, but didn’t feel her, or anyone else, near.
“I have every right to be where I choose.” Nolan gripped the reins until his knuckles were white.