Mac shook his head. “Joe, I—if I don’t make it—”
“I don’t want to hear any of that,” Joe interrupted. “You’ll be back on the job in a week.”
“No, Joe. Listen, I want you to tell my wife—” He drew in a weak breath, shuddering with the effort. “Tell her how much I love her. She’s my life. Her and the kids. They’re all that matter to me. Tell them that.”
Joe nodded. “I will.”
Mac closed his eyes and was silent for so long that a chill of fear washed over Joe. “Mac?”
Finally Mac drew in another painful breath and said, “A man can lose lots of things, Joe. But if he loses his family—that’s what ruins him. You remember that. You hear me?”
Joe grabbed Mac’s rough hand and squeezed it. “Yeah. I hear you, buddy. I hear you. But I’m not going to let you die. I’m going to get you back to that wife of yours.”
“McCann Drilling.” Savanna spoke cheerfully into the receiver. “May I help you?”
“Yeah, girl, you sure can. Do you deliver gas? I’m on the freeway and it’s a long walk to the nearest station.”
“Daddy,” she said, laughing as she recognized his thinly disguised voice. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, I just got home from work and Gloria is about to start supper. We thought you might want to come over and eat when you get off there.”
“That’s nice of you, Daddy, but I’m afraid I can’t. I’m tied up tonight.”
“Oh,” he said slyly. “Have you finally gotten around to finding a date?”
Savanna groaned. “No. Actually, I’m baby-sitting my boss’s daughter. He’s been out of town the past two days.”
Thurman chuckled. “Getting in a little overtime, are you? I guess you’ll have plenty of rent money this month.”
“Oh, I’m not charging Joe. This is just something I wanted to do. Megan, his daughter, is…Well, her mother lives in Africa and her daddy is—”
“Your boss,” Thurman finished in a pointed tone.
Savanna tapped her pencil against the open ledger book. “That doesn’t mean anything,” she said defensively.
“I didn’t say it did,” Thurman retorted. “I know nothing about the man. Except what you told us. Is he still making you nervous?”
Savanna very nearly laughed in her father’s ear. What Joe did to her went far beyond nervous.
Glancing over at his empty desk, she said, “I’ve learned a lot about him these past few days. He’s not the man I thought he was that first day I met him.”
Thurman was silent for a long time and Savanna got the impression he wanted to ask her more about Joe. But when he did finally speak it was about something entirely different.
“I guess I should tell you that my job here at Sooner Insurance has just about wound up. Looks like we’ll be leaving in a couple of weeks. Next stop New Orleans.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Savanna said.
“Are you kidding? I’ve always wanted to visit the French Quarter and eat gumbo.”
“No, I meant I’m going to be sorry to see you and Gloria leave. You’re the only family I’ve got, you know.”
“Sweetheart, I’ll only be a phone call away.”
“I know. But it would be nice if you were staying here,” Savanna said with a sigh, then tossed down the pencil and rubbed her forehead. Suddenly she felt more alone than she ever had in her life.
“Five more years and then I’ll be able to retire and sink roots. But it’s your time now, honey. You need to start making some roots of your own.”
“I will if I can, Daddy.”
Laughing, Thurman scoffed at the doubt in her voice. “Don’t give me that half-try attitude, Savanna. You’ve always been a cockeyed optimist. And I have a feeling by the time I retire you’ll have some grandchildren to keep me busy.”
Later that evening as Savanna drove to Joe’s house, she mulled over the conversation she’d had with her father. Strange that he’d called her a cockeyed optimist. Joe had called her the very same thing. Yet she hardly felt like one. It seemed to Savanna that her life was splintering in all different directions and if she didn’t get control, everything she’d ever dreamed and hoped for was going to be in shambles.
As far as her giving him grandchildren was concerned, well, she was going to tell her father not to hold his breath. She couldn’t imagine herself having any man’s child. Unless that man was Joe.
The thought came out of nowhere and stunned her with its implications. Had some deep part of her already decided she wanted to have a child with Joe? That was crazy! Joe didn’t want to be a husband again, much less father another child. And even if he did, she wasn’t about to let herself dream that she could be a part of his life.
Chapter Eleven
It was past midnight when Joe stepped onto the porch and unlocked the front door. He’d been driving for over two and a half hours and he couldn’t remember a time he’d ever felt this exhausted or more glad to be home.
Inside the foyer the dim glow of a lamp shone from the direction of the living room. With a sigh and a tired shrug of his shoulders, Joe went to turn it off.
Yet before he got halfway into the room his feet came to an abrupt halt. Savanna was lying asleep on one of the couches. Her left arm was dangling off the edge of the cushion. Just below her fingers a book lay open on the floor.
The sight of her filled Joe with such a surge of emotion a lump formed in his throat and all he could do was stand and look at her.
But after a while the need to be closer propelled him to take the last few steps to the couch, where he squatted on his heels and eased the book from beneath her lifeless fingers. Corporate Taxes. No wonder she’d fallen asleep, he thought as he glanced at the title.
Joe put the book down by the lamp on the end table, then gazed down at her sleeping face. It had been scrubbed free of makeup and her hair was brushed back from her brow. She was wearing a pair of white satin pajamas. The neckline was gaping, exposing the top of one breast.
It was all Joe could do to keep from reaching out with one finger, pushing the soft, slinky fabric just an inch farther and exposing her dusky pink nipple.
“Savanna?”
She didn’t stir at the sound of his voice. Joe tried again, this time touching her shoulder. After a moment her eyelids fluttered open and she stared blankly up at him.
“Joe?”
Her voice was husky and full of surprise. The sound of it sent a wave of longing spiraling through him.
“Yes. It’s me.”
She closed her eyes, then pressed the heels of her hands against them. “I guess I fell asleep while I was reading.”
“Maybe you should try a thriller next time, instead of IRS regulations.”
She dropped her hand and looked at him. The wry grin on his face woke her faster than anything could have.
“What—what are you doing home at this hour? We thought you wouldn’t be back until tomorrow afternoon.”
Easing down beside her, he let his eyes travel slowly, longingly over her flushed cheeks, sleepy eyes and soft full lips. He’d never get enough of looking at her, he realized.
“I’d intended to wait and drive home tomorrow. But my plans changed.”
There was an odd rawness to his voice, an unfamiliar vulnerableness on his face that told Savanna she was seeing an entirely different Joe than the one who’d left nearly two days ago.
Pushing herself to a sitting position, she laid her hand on his arms. “Joe, is—something wrong?”
The concern in her voice went straight to his heart and filled him with a burgeoning need to hold her, tell her just how much she meant to him.
“No. Yes. I—”
He didn’t finish. He couldn’t finish. There were no words to tell her all the things that had passed through his mind since he’d been away.
“Oh, Savanna, Savanna,” he whispered, his voice a strange mixture of awe and anguish. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Confusion filled her eyes. �
��I’m—glad I’m here, too,” she said softly.
Was she? he wondered. Was she aching to touch him, hold him, love him the way he ached to love her?
“I hope so, Savanna. Because I can’t—”
He stopped abruptly, making Savanna’s brows lift in question.
“Can’t what?” she prompted, her heart beating rapidly in her throat.
His answer was a low groan and before Savanna realized what was happening, her head was lying in the crook of his arm and his lips were making a hot, hungry search of hers.
Savanna didn’t resist. She kissed him back. It was the only thing her heart would allow her to do.
Long moments later Joe finally tore his lips from hers and lifted his head. By then his breathing was raspy and Savanna felt close to fainting.
“Joe, have you gone crazy?” she whispered.
A wan smile moved over his face. “No. I’ve just now come to my senses.”
As Savanna tried to figure out what he meant by that, his head bent toward hers again. However, this time she put her hands against his chest and held him at bay. There were too many questions she wanted answered and she didn’t want to give him the chance of seducing her before she asked them.
“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked, then, wriggling out of his arms, she scooted down to the end of the couch.
Joe slid down the slick leather after her. “It means I’ve come to some conclusions about you. And me.”
Her expression wary, she studied his face. “You and me? Look Joe, the other day in the office—”
“I wanted you like I’ve never wanted any woman in my life,” he finished for her.
Her cheeks full of heat, she said, “You showed me that much.”
His blue eyes darkened as he leaned closer and murmured, “I want to show you again, Savanna.”
Her heart pounding like a runaway engine, Savanna jumped to her feet and crossed the room. “Joe, I told you—”
“I know what you told me.” Rising to his feet, he went to her. Savanna trembled like an aspen leaf in the wind as his hands framed her face and his eyes delved into hers. “You told me you need more than just sex. Well, so do I, Savanna. I realize that now. Among other things.”
“Other things?” she whispered dizzily.
Suddenly he was groaning, tugging her into his arms and burying his face against the side of her neck.
“I love you, Savanna. I love you.”
Savanna’s head swirled with shock. What was he saying? He loved her? Really loved her? No, that was just too much to believe.
“Joe, I—don’t think…”
He drew his head back far enough to enable him to see her face. Savanna drew in a deep breath and tried to go on. “Am I supposed to believe that? You think saying you love me is going to make me go to bed with you?”
Joe put his hands on her shoulders and held on tightly. “No, I think it’s going to make you marry me.”
Savanna had only thought she’d been shocked by his vows of love. This utterly stunned her.
“Marry you?” she gasped, then, as if putting the distance between them would keep her safe, she whirled away from his grasp and hurried to the far end of the room to stand by the fireplace. “You don’t want to marry any woman. Much less me! Have you gone mad, or what? I think you’ve been working in a loony bin instead of a rig site!”
To her amazement, Joe laughed. “Nope. I’m sane and sober. And,” he added, his expression going serious, “I want to marry you.”
How could those words make her so happy and frightened at the same time? Savanna wondered.
Her head shook back and forth with total disbelief. “Don’t you think this is all rather sudden? A few days ago you insisted, vehemently if I remember right, that you never wanted to marry again. Ever. No matter who the woman was.”
Joe crossed the room to her. Still numb with shock, Savanna allowed him to lead her over to one of the couches. Once the two of them had taken a seat on the edge of the cushion, he reached for her hands and slid his fingers intimately between hers.
“I know it all seems sudden—”
“Joe,” she quickly interrupted, “a person just doesn’t make an abrupt about-face like this without a good reason.”
Annoyed, he frowned and asked, “What difference does it make why I’ve changed my mind about marriage?”
She looked incredulous. “Joe, for a man who has always lived a controlled life, you’re certainly stepping out of character now.”
He released one of her hands and swiped his fingers through his hair. It was then that Savanna noticed his bloodshot eyes and the deep lines of fatigue on his face.
Suddenly a part of her wanted to pull his head against her breast, hold him and tell him how much she adored him. But to do that would be like forfeiting everything she’d worked for the past five years. Independence, freedom, peace of mind. How could she give all that up? Why would she even want to? Because you love him, a little voice inside her answered.
“Maybe I’ve just now learned who my character really is,” Joe went on.
Her expression full of doubt, she said, “The other day you seemed to be pretty sure of that. You’re Joe Oilman McCann. And that’s all you want to be.”
Joe shook his head. “I’m Megan’s father. And I want to be your husband.”
She didn’t say anything and Joe got the impression she was waiting for him to go on, that he hadn’t said nearly enough to convince her that his feelings were genuine.
With a groan of frustration he said, “Look, Savanna, my foreman was seriously injured yesterday on the job. He fell from the derrick and I thought he—Well, I thought he was going to die before we could get him out to the nearest hospital.”
Savanna suddenly hurt for Joe and the man she’d never met. “He didn’t. Did he?” she asked anxiously.
Joe shook his head. “No, thank God. Both of his lungs were punctured with broken ribs, along with a broken wrist and collarbone. But he’s going to be all right.”
“I’m glad,” Savanna said.
“No gladder than I,” Joe told her. “During that slow drive out of the mountains—” He stopped, swallowed, then closed his eyes. “I didn’t think he was going to make it. I truly believe the only reason he survived is because he didn’t want to leave his wife or children.”
The anguish on Joe’s face compelled Savanna to reach out and touch his face, soothe away the fear he must have endured. “Oh, God, Joe, I’m so sorry,” she said, and truly meant it. “That must have been like reliving a nightmare. You probably saw your father dying all over again.”
Joe nodded, then pulled her hand away from his cheek and brought the palm up to his lips. Savanna nearly groaned as a rush of bittersweet emotions tore through her body. She loved this man and now he was telling her he loved her, too.
But love didn’t come with an insurance policy, she silently reminded herself. And she was desperately afraid that if she dared even think of having a future with Joe it would ruin both their lives.
“The whole thing made me realize how much you and Megan mean to me, Savanna. Do you believe me now?”
A part of her wanted to believe, to dream that she could be his wife and the mother of his children. But that wasn’t the safe, common sense thing to do.
“I don’t know, Joe. I—” Turning her head away from him, she bit down on her lip and prayed the tears at the back of her eyes would go away. “Even if you did love me…”
His hand closed over her chin and pulled her face back around to him. “There’s no ifs about it, Savanna. I do love you. Now all I want to know is whether you love me.”
Savanna’s first instinct was to lie, to say she had no feelings for him whatsoever. But lying wouldn’t solve her problem. As far as she could see, nothing would.
“That really doesn’t matter,” she said in a choked voice, then, fearing she was going to break into sobs, she got to her feet and rushed out to the kitchen.
Joe quickl
y followed and watched from the doorway as she took down a glass from the cabinet and filled it with cold water from the refrigerator. All the while keeping her back to him.
Bewildered by her behavior, Joe said, “I don’t understand you, Savanna. I just laid my heart out on the table for you and you want to take a carving knife and cut it into tiny little pieces.”
Doing her best to swallow down the hot lump in her throat, Savanna turned away from the sink to look at him, then wished she hadn’t. There was genuine pain on his face and she was the cause of it. But it was better to hurt him now than later, she fiercely told herself.
Placing the glass on the table, she went to him and this time she didn’t try to hide her feelings. The love she felt for him was on her face and in the touch of her hand as she laid it gently against his heart.
“Okay, Joe. You want the truth, I’ll tell you the truth. I think I fell in love with you the first day I went to work for you.”
“I was terrible to you that day!” he exclaimed.
In spite of the anguish she was feeling, a wan smile curved her lips. “I won’t argue with you there. But you said you needed me. I’d never had a boss tell me that before.”
Amazed, he said, “I just hope you’ve never had a boss propose to you before.”
“Oh, I can assure you that you’re the first man to get that close—” She broke off as red-hot heat filled her cheeks. “Well, you’re the first boss I ever kissed.”
“I wish I’d known how you felt. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Savanna’s lips twisted with regret. “It wouldn’t have served any purpose to tell you. You ought to know how I feel. I’m jinxed where marriage is concerned. I’ve had to accept that having a family is for other people, not for me. Besides,” she added, her eyes dropping to the floor, “things could never work for us.”
Groaning, he turned his eyes toward the ceiling. “How can you say that? You’re the one who’s been preaching that a person should go after what they want!”
Savanna absently studied his mud-caked boots and jeans. “You don’t want me,” she said wearily. “Not really. Yesterday you saw your friend nearly die and it reminded you of your own mortality. That’s all.”
Daddy Lessons Page 14