by Jerramy Fine
Patriotism
Whether it be a high school basketball game or 4th of July fireworks, Americans almost always become teary-eyed as we belt out our national anthem. This type of passionate patriotism is par for the course for Americans—even if we hate our government, we genuinely love our country and relish those moments when we can immerse ourselves, however briefly, in the loving arms of our national consciousness. The Brits have nothing of the sort. Only during the Queen’s Jubilee celebrations and the few hours during which Prince William’s wedding to Catherine Middleton was televised—did I witness English people enjoying the same level of joyful, idealistic patriotism that Americans experience on a weekly if not daily basis.
While Americans are a naturally proud bunch of people (we work hard for our achievements and take pleasure in sharing them), the Brits often see displays of pride to be boastful or vain. The same applies to patriotism—they can’t be proud of their country because they see that as being proud of themselves—an entirely foreign concept to a nation that prefers self-deprecation. In my opinion, this is precisely why the monarchy thrives; the English can displace feelings of loyalty and love away from themselves and onto their beloved Queen.
Their national anthem is not about them, it’s about her! And they like it that way. Although they don’t exactly sing the rafters down, their solemn mumbling of those ancient, tuneless lyrics is the British way of showing that they are fiercely devoted to their sovereign and the country she represents. If you want to blend in to your adopted country, it can’t hurt to learn the words. You might even show them how it’s done and shed a tear or two.
“God Save the Queen” (or King When Applicable)
The authorship of the song is unknown, and since its first publication, different verses have been added and subtracted. Even today, different publications contain different verses in various orders—but the first and third verses are consistent, and they are usually the only ones that are sung:
God save our gracious Queen,
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen!
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us,
God save the Queen!
O Lord, our God, arise,
Scatter her enemies,
And make them fall.
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On Thee our hopes we fix,
God save us all.
Thy choicest gifts in store
On her be pleased to pour
Long may she reign!
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause,
To sing with heart and voice,
God save the Queen!
Not in this land alone,
But be God’s mercies known,
From shore to shore!
Lord make the nations see,
That men should brothers be,
And form one family,
The wide world over.
From every latent foe,
From the assassin’s blow,
God save the Queen!
O’er her thine arm extend,
For Britain’s sake defend,
Our mother, prince, and friend,
God save the Queen!
RECOMMENDED READING:
The Anglo Files by Sarah Lyall
Having lived in England for more than a decade as the London correspondent for the New York Times, the author has compiled some hilarious observations about Britain and its eccentric inhabitants—including the politicians who behave like drunken frat boys and the Brits who will happily extract their own teeth yet refuse to rinse soap off their dishes.
Bring Home the Revolution by Jonathan Freedland
This British author loves America; he loves our contagious can-do spirit; our determination to take control of our lives, shape our communities, and unabashedly assert what we believe to be our god-given right to life, liberty, and happiness. In fact, he argues that it’s high time Britain became more like America! This book is hugely readable and is a welcome reminder of how much I love the country of my birth—and how no matter how quirky and charming the English can be, no matter how much I feel I can learn from their incredible history and culture, there is also a great deal of wisdom that the Brits can learn from us.
1 Apparently hydrogen peroxide is not meant for domestic use in the UK either!
2 The Drowning People, written by nineteen-year-old, floppy-haired Old Etonian Richard Mason.
3 A banger is a sausage (much fatter and with more seasoning than breakfast sausages in the US). Bangers are usually served with mashed potatoes (mash) and onion gravy—if the meat is good quality, this is one of the best comfort foods in existence.
4 If you know of a London salon that meets your American standards, please let me know! [email protected]
5 However, please keep in mind that you are only covered for health care while you are physically in the UK—if you travel anywhere else—including back home to the US, you must purchase “travel insurance” to cover any unexpected medical expenses while you are away. Nobody told me this until I’d been living in the UK for nearly three years, so I’m telling you now.
CONCLUSION
I am American bred, I have seen much to hate here, much to forgive But in a world where England is finished and dead, I do not wish to live.
–FROM THE WHITE CLIFFS BY ALICE DUER MILLER
I have no doubt that people will continue to rant on and on about how girls like you and me should get our Anglophile heads out of the clouds and start living in “the real world.” But I honestly think “the real world” is just a phrase that’s batted around to give credibility to the miserable lives most people have created for themselves.
At the end of the day, it’s pretty simple: You can have the English life that you want or you can have everyone else’s reasons for not having it…
Confronting Your Critics
I’m sure everyone you encounter thinks your London-bound plan is ludicrous. I’m sure they think it’s expensive, unnecessary, and downright silly—and I’m sure they have no problem telling you so. But one way that dreams can become suppressed is when we are made to feel as if we are the only ones in the world crazy enough to even have dreams. But you know what? Those grumpy people who refuse to support you in manifesting your dreams of English happiness are doing nothing but delaying their own unique dreams from coming true.
I’m sure some of the naysayers in your life are absolutely right—you do have the potential to do all sorts of other amazing things that don’t involve crossing an ocean and settling down in a foreign country. But you don’t have to do those things just because they’re expected of you, or because others tell you that you should do them, or because you’d be incredibly good at them. All that following your head instead of your heart nonsense is highly overrated. Despite all your attempts to ignore it or to pretend that you can’t hear what the little voice inside your heart is saying, you’ll never be able to keep it quiet. It will always be there, forever repeating to you that England is where you must go. You owe it to yourself to listen.
Looking back, I had no idea what I was doing when I moved to London—but even so, I made sure to do it as hard as I possibly could. So my advice to you is this: Know what you want, know that you deserve it, and believe that you can get it. (And always remember that getting there isn’t half the fun—sometimes it’s all the fun!)
Try to ignore what everyone else is saying and keep a death grip on your dream. Don’t give up gracefully or leave England at the very first obstacle—stand your ground. Decide to abandon your dream only if you are dragged away from it kicking and screaming. And while some people will say how dare you go after your dream—rest assured that others will silently be thanking you for showing them how.
The American Dream
“But you’re American,” some people tell me pointedly (almost as if I di
dn’t know). “Don’t you think you belong in your own country?”
I’ve never understood this question. I mean, let’s be honest: Where would America be today if two hundred years ago, everyone in the world had stayed in their own countries?
Living in another country does not make you anti-American, nor does it make you unpatriotic. Living in another country actually means that you have embraced the American dream to the fullest! You have taken advantage of the freedom and opportunity at your fingertips and set out to do what you always dreamed of. No matter where you came from, who your family is, or how much money you may or may not have—you knew that if you worked hard and had faith in yourself you could achieve your heart’s desire. That unwavering desire just happens to be in England. But the path that put you there? That is the American dream in its purest form.
I am a staunch royalist, a proud Anglophile, and this winter will acquire the UK passport I’ve longed for my whole life. However, not for a single second have I forgotten than none of this would be possible without the very American belief that we can do anything we set our minds to.
(Luckily, both America and the UK allow dual citizenship.)
Self-Belief
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
—ELEANORR ROOSEVELT
Despite all the airs and graces, deep down, Brits are quite vulnerable (which is perhaps why they rely so much on giant hats to protect them). While expats should always make an effort to fit into their adopted country (partly out of respect and partly for self-preservation), keep in mind that there are so many complicated and nuanced layers to English society and culture that “being English” is a club that quite often not even the English can get into!
I am still noticeably American—I speak more softly than most of my countrymen, and I use UK terms instead of US ones, but my accent is pure Western Colorado. I may be wearing English tweed and Scottish cashmere, but my grooming and dental habits are 100 percent American. My knowledge of etiquette and table manners is entirely English, but my cheery enthusiasm and starry-eyed optimism were clearly born in the USA.
So even if you’re surrounded by British people who have been inducted since birth in the rituals of their world, who grew up knowing and caring about things like hereditary titles and family crests, what really matters is your belief that you are perfectly entitled to stand among them. England is indeed a fairy-tale kingdom, but you must know that it is one you are worthy of and one that you deserve to enjoy. Above all, you must have confidence and believe in yourself. Always remember that if you carry yourself with dignity and grace, then you have every right to move in regal circles.
And move in them you will.
REQUIRED (AS OPPOSED TO RECOMMENDED) READING:
Someday My Prince Will Come: True Adventures of a Wannabe Princess by Jerramy Fine
Most young girls dream of becoming a princess, but unlike most girls, Jerramy Fine (yep—that’s me!) never grew out of it. At age six, she announces she is going to meet and marry the Queen of England’s grandson, and even as she gets older, not once does she change her mind! But growing up with hippie parents in the middle of a Colorado farm town makes finding her prince a bigger challenge than Jerramy ever bargained for. How can she prepare to lead a royal life when she’s surrounded by nothing but tofu and tractors?
Jerramy spends her lonely childhood writing love letters to Buckingham Palace, and when her sense of destiny finally brings her to London, she dives headfirst into a whirlwind of society parties in search of her royal soul mate. She drinks way too many martinis and kisses far too many Hugh Grant look-alikes, but life in England is not the Disney fairy tale she hoped it would be. Her flatmates are lunatics, London is expensive, and British boys (despite their cute accents) are infuriating. Sure, she’s rubbing shoulders with Princess Anne, Earl Spencer, and the Duchess of York—but will she ever meet her prince?
Someday My Prince Will Come is a hilarious true story about following your heart and having the courage to pursue your childhood dream no matter how impossible it seems.
(And I promise you this: if I could do it—you can too.)
SPECIAL THANKS
To Olivia Smales, Olivia Vandyk, Jane Finette, Elizabeth Kinder, Julie Collins-Clark, and (my protégée) Courtney Fleming—not only for your stellar proofreading, but for your friendship, and in many cases, anecdotal inspiration. I owe you a Mahiki treasure chest.
To my agent, Laura Langlie, and my editor, Kate Seaver—for not only “getting” my drastic case of Anglophilia, but championing it.
To my long-suffering English husband—for indulging my insatiable obsession with his country and its customs, and for teaching me that some US-UK relationships are more special than I ever imagined.
To my long-suffering American parents—who never once discouraged me from spreading my wings, fleeing the nest, and flying alone across the sun.
[Itzy]
PHOTO AND IMAGE CREDITS
Page x: Rex Features
Page 4: Rex Features
Page 8: Kaarsten / Dreamstime.com
Page 32: Radius Images / Getty
Page 51: Alan Fine
Page 55: Rex Features
Page 64: Time Rooke / Rex Features
Page 81: Everett Collection / Rex Features
Page 86: Rex Features
Page 96: Rex Features
Page 116: Justin McManus / Rex Features
Page 122: Tim Rooke / Rex Features
Page 154: Keystone / Getty
Page 156: John Walters / Associated Newspapers / Rex Features
Page 160: Alan Fine
Page 172: David Hartley / Rupert Hartley / Rex Features
Page 177: Everett Collection / Rex Features
Page 194: Sergerius Bruce Photography
Page 211: Alan Baily / Getty
Page 224: Adrian Lander / Mood Board / Rex Features
Page 258: Stefan Dumitru / Dreamstime.com
Page 296: Brian Harris / Rex Features