“Your tell? For if you ever get abducted.” He shot me a quick glance before he went back to concentrating.
“Um…” I thought about it. “‘I hate John Cusack’.”
“Well I don’t love him, but that seems a bit harsh, Barlow. What did he ever do to you?”
I laughed. “No, that’d be my tell.”
“John Cusack?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
“Okay. Well, Carter will be devastated.”
I smiled as he threw the car in park and jumped out of the cab, and I followed suit. “Oh, Mason knows about my love for John.”
“He’s a better man than me, then.”
“I get the impression you don’t know who John Cusack is…”
“Oh, what gave it away?” His face popped up over the tray and I grinned at him and shook my head.
He walked around the back of the ute and beckoned for me to join him. He pulled the tailgate down and turned to me. When he’d been holding his hands out for a while, I looked down at them in confusion.
“Do you want a hand up, or not so much?” he asked.
I looked back at him and finally got what he was asking. I nodded and he put his hands on my waist and lifted me up onto the back. We froze for a moment, him standing between my legs, his hands on my waist. A flutter ran through me and my skin broke out into goose bumps.
I couldn’t see wonderfully since he’d just turned the headlights off and my eyes weren’t used to the moonlight yet, but I was glad of that. I wasn’t entirely convinced of what I’d see in his eyes if I could see them properly. But that antsy feeling was back, if slightly different than before. I smiled and shuffled backwards.
He pulled himself up into the back with ease, sending my imagination into overdrive as I watched his body move and eliciting a whole bunch of weird feelings in me that I ignored furiously.
He lay down, then looked at me. “You okay?”
“I should be asking you that, surely?”
He shrugged and held up the blankets for me to wriggle under them next to him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
“I want to not talk about it.”
“Okay.” I said with a nod and we lay there in the dark, snuggled side-by-side under his blankets.
Eventually, he was the one who broke the companionable silence.
“Barlow?”
“Lombardi?”
“You ever feel like just everything’s going to shit, no matter what you do?”
I did. More than I would have liked. “Yeah, I guess…”
“Like, you’re just going along in life and you get thrown a curveball and you have to re-evaluate everything.”
I found his hand and held it. I felt him tense for a second, then he gave my hand a small squeeze.
“Do you want to talk about that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just this feeling I have. I haven’t really worked out what it goes with yet.”
“Is it Maddy?”
I felt him shrug. “I don’t think so. I’m getting used to her. As much as I’d get used to any kid in my life.”
For some reason, that surprised me.
“You don’t want kids?”
He scoffed. “You think I’d be a good dad?”
“That’s not what I asked.”
I felt him shift and turned to find him looking at me, his head propped up on his hand.
“There’s a difference, you know,” I said, searching his eyes. “You can still want them even if you think you won’t be any good at it.”
He dropped onto his back again and stared up. “First, I’d need to work out how to be with someone long enough. You don’t just have kids without thinking of the consequences. They deserve better than that.”
I nodded and lay my head on his shoulder. “Yeah. But, so do you.”
He scoffed. “Is that a compliment?”
I nudged him. “I’m serious. You can want something even if you think you’re not good enough or it’s not good for you.”
“Because you’d have experience with that.” His voice sounded rough and annoyed.
“Well, maybe not as much as some. But, enough to get the concept.”
“Fine. Give me an example, then.”
“Right, well… Chocolate, right? I could look at a huge chocolate cake and decide that I want to eat all of it. But, I also know I shouldn’t because otherwise I’d be sick or get fat or whatever. Plus, I have never done anything in my life that deserves the reward a whole chocolate cake.”
“Is this thing you have for chocolate cake something that should make Carter jealous… Or?”
“Very cute. Like my love for John, Mason is well aware of my love for chocolate cake.”
“And, this is all Johns and all chocolate cakes, or just certain ones?”
“One John and one chocolate cake. Mud cake. Dense and dark and moist– What?” I asked when he snorted.
“Nothing. I just can’t with that word.”
I smiled. “Moist isn’t a dirty word, Roman.”
He barked a laugh and his arm wrapped around me. “No, I don’t suppose it is. Funny though, and gives a guy all sorts of ideas.”
“Well, you can take those ideas and leave them in the gutter where they belong.”
“Ah, Barlow. Any guy who told you he didn’t get ideas around you has to be lying. But, I shall be a gentleman and keep them to myself.”
“There goes that word again,” I teased. “Anyone who told you they thought you could be a gentleman has to be lying. But as a lady, I won’t go spreading it around.”
I felt him shake his head with a laugh and he pulled me closer. “You think you’re a lady, do you?”
“I do.”
“How many ladies do you know who wear short shorts and ugg boots?”
“Lady Piper of Barlow was famous for them.”
He laughed that pure happy laugh. “Of course she was.”
“Caused a bit of a scandal at court, you understand. But, she was a trendsetter.”
I couldn’t be sure if he kissed my hair or not. “I’ll bet she was. She seems happy at least.”
“She is.”
“Heard a lot from Carter, then? He regaling you with tales of his travels?”
“He is actually.” I know I didn’t imagine the way Roman tensed. “But, it’s the resident underachiever actually who seems to have this weird habit of de-funking me.”
Roman relaxed, but like it cost him some effort.
“Not that I’d tell him. What with that being stupid nancy words and all.”
“No, ‘course. He wouldn’t appreciate it anyway, I’d bet. Too stupid.”
I nodded. “That is what I hear.”
We fell into a companionable silence again and I realised my hand had reached up for his around my shoulder. But, he didn’t pull it away so I made no move to draw attention to it.
I felt him moving and wondered if he was uncomfortable. But when I smelled smoke, I realised he’d just been shuffling in his pockets.
“I could have moved,” I offered.
“You could have.”
“You just had to ask.”
“Maybe I didn’t want to disturb your peace and quiet.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”
He chuckled. “Doesn’t much, does it.”
“Well, you just have to ask next time.”
“I like you exactly the way you are, Barlow. If I asked you to move for a sec, you might think I don’t want you lying on me. Then, where would I be?”
I didn’t have to hide my smile because I didn’t think he’d be able to see it. The warmth in my chest I was sure he couldn’t see. “Well, now I know how you feel about that, I’ll make sure to lie on you as often as possible.”
“Good.”
We lay in silence a little while longer, until he broke it.
“Barlow?”
&
nbsp; “Hm?”
“You never seemed fussed by my smoking.”
I shrugged. “Am I meant to be?”
“Most people are. Especially the non-smokers.” He gasped mockingly. “Unless, you’re a closet smoker!”
I giggled. “No. Not a closet smoker. I just don’t think it’s my business and it doesn’t bother me. You want to smoke? Smoke.”
“You’re not judging the underage smoker? Wondering how I get them?”
“We don’t judge, remember?”
“Seriously, Barlow?”
“What? Sure, it’s not the greatest habit–”
“What did you think of it last week?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. Spine, please.”
“Fine. That it was stupid and made you a total idiot,” I replied.
“And, what made you change your mind?”
“I guess, deep down I didn’t. But, you’re you and you smoke.” I shrugged. “So sure, it’s inadvisable and probably illegal. But, it’s not up to me to tell you what to do.”
“I do try not to blow it your way.”
“I figured as much.”
And, it was true. I wondered if most of why it didn’t bother me was because he seemed to try to be as thoughtful about it as he could. Naturally, he couldn’t control wind direction, but he seemed to try. And, I appreciated that.
I rolled onto my side to look at him.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing. I was just wondering why you were still here.”
“Well, killing myself seems a little drastic and no matter how hard I try to put myself in dubious situations, I just seem unkillable.”
“That is in incredibly poor taste, Roman,” I said, forcing myself not to smile regardless of its poor taste.
He stubbed out his cigarette on the side of the tray and threw it over before he rolled onto his side towards me. “Why am I still where, Piper?” he asked with a wry smile.
“Here. Surely your booty calls miss you? Or, are you fitting them in around me?” I kept my eyes on his, seeing him easily now that my eyes had adjusted to the limited light.
“You make yourself sound like an obligation.”
I readjusted so my head was leaning on the flat of my hand rather than my fist. “It hadn’t crossed my mind until now.”
His eyebrows narrowed. “Instead of me explaining myself, how about I just tell you I’m thinking of some choice nancy wanker words?”
“I don’t like it any more than you.”
The consternation left his face as it dropped into humoured shock. “Don’t like it?”
I shrugged and tried to keep the smile from my face. “What’s to like about the fact I find you easy to be around?”
“You could have sat in your room. I am quite adept at pity parties for one.”
I leant towards him. “But, we’re better at pity parties for two.”
We stared into each other’s eyes, my heart fluttering and my skin tingling. If one of us moved forward, then we’d kiss. For all his talk of wanting to get into my pants and how nice my eyes were, I knew I wasn’t the sort of girl Roman liked to kiss. So, I didn’t have anywhere near enough nerves to move forward. But, despite some serious heat sizzling off him, he didn’t move forward either.
“There’s something far more satisfying in making you feel better than moping alone, Barlow,” he said, his voice low and rough. He blinked and cleared his throat as he dropped back on to his back, his arm behind his head. “Plus, who would I sing to?”
I smiled, keeping my eyes on his face. He turned to look at me, a frown on that face.
“What?” he asked. “If you’re going to take another picture, warn me this time.”
I shook my head. “No. One is plenty.”
“On the contrary, Barlow. A phone full would never be enough.”
“I do not need a phone full of pictures of you.”
“Who says I was talking about your phone and my pictures?”
“I can think of only one use you’d have for any pictures of me, Lombardi. And one is plenty.”
He snorted. “Maybe if I’d caught one of you at your window last night.”
I sat up and looked at him, past caring that my cheeks were hot as hell. “What?”
He shrugged. “Barlow, the light was behind you, but there was enough. I never pegged you for the black bra type.” He winked.
My cheeks flamed even more and I turned and stuck them against the blankets over my knees.
Roman chuckled. “Don’t be embarrassed, please. I promise I only whipped it out to your photo once and I didn’t even think about it after seeing you in your bra… Much. I didn’t think about it much. Okay, I thought about it a lot. And, I might have whipped it out twice, but that’s all. I wouldn’t tarnish your good name more than that. Well, no. I would, but I won’t…”
He petered off as I finally turned to look at him, really not sure how much of that speech had been designed to make me laugh and how much was true. He wore the most annoyingly sexy, innocent little smirk as he looked at me.
“Just how many times have you…whipped it out to…me?” I asked hesitantly.
“Lifetime or in the last week?” he replied, totally at ease.
Panicking, I frowned. “I don’t know if I want to know.”
“Uh, in the last week… It was only once. Before that, I honestly couldn’t tell you.”
I blinked. “What?”
He shrugged. “What? It’s totally natural, Barlow. I’m deprived just at the moment and – to be fair – you’ve been adorable. Also to be fair, it wasn’t intentionally to you. You just happened to be the last girl I was around. So, naturally you popped into my head.”
“That makes a scary amount of sense. I’m not sure I can be annoyed by that.”
His grin widened. “You’ll understand us men folk, yet!”
I gave him an exasperated glare. “Men I understand. Dicks, less so.”
“That’s fair. We are pretty much separate entities.”
I snorted. “Really?”
“Did your precious Carter not explain this to you already? What have you two been doing?”
“Not talking about our genitals.”
“Well, we’re actually only talking about mine. Which I feel is sexist and unfair…”
I snorted again. “Vaginas seem to be less trouble. I’m not really sure what I could tell you about that is remotely similar.”
“Last time you masturbated to visions of me!” he said, totally cavalier.
I choked on an inconvenient piece of spit and turned to face the back of the tray. I don’t think I’d ever felt my face flush that hard.
He laughed and sat up. “Come on, Barlow. You expect me to think you don’t?” he asked. His lips that close to my ear sent goose bumps across my body.
Annoyingly, they weren’t entirely unpleasant.
I cleared my throat. “No, I don’t–”
“Piper…” he coaxed.
I shoved my face in my knees again. “Once or twice.”
“Tell me that’s to me. Because if that’s in total, I might cry.”
I laughed and couldn’t help but look at him. Realising that the conversation was not actually as embarrassing as I was trying to make it, I flopped back onto my back. “Well, get your hanky ready, Roman.”
Roman groaned as he dropped back beside me and nudged his arm under my head again. “That is seriously disheartening.”
“Why? You got hot to the image of me in my black bra, touching myself as I thought of you?”
“Well, I didn’t. But, I will now. Thanks.” Oddly enough, he didn’t seem thrilled by the idea. “Tell me, do you plan to be such a prude with your precious Carter?”
“Firstly, I’m not a prude. It’s just so much work for so little reward–”
“Oh!” he crowed. “I see now. You’re just not doing it right!”
; “How would you know?”
“Because doing it right is not too much work for not enough reward. I’d be happy to educate you.”
I snuggled into him. “I’ll bet you would.”
“In the interests of science and your health only.”
I chuckled. “Of course.”
“It should be exciting, not...whatever reaction this is.”
“Bored indifference?”
“Yeah, that.”
“And how often should I be doing it, Roman? How often do you count enough? Are you a one a day kind of guy?”
He sniggered. “Sometimes.”
“Other times?”
“Three or four.”
I rolled over too quickly and found myself half on top of him, but neither of us seemed to feel the need to move. “What?”
He shrugged and I could see he was fighting a smile. “What?”
“Three of four times a day?”
He gave me the quickest, far too adorable grin before it was gone again. “Sometimes.” The arm that had been under my head wrapped around my waist and his lips were at my ear. “I’m a very good teacher, you know.”
I laughed and he joined me as he let me go and I lay against his side. “You’re a comedian you know,” I said.
“All comedy comes from truth.”
“A cocky comedian.”
“Damn straight.”
We both dissolved into laughter, holding onto each other until it finally subsided and I pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes.
“You seem less funky.”
His smile was warm and his eyes were far too soft, but I couldn’t stop looking at him. “I am less funky. Thank you.”
I shrugged. “Nothing a decent human being would do.”
“I thought we’d talked about this? Carter is a perfectly good human being.”
I smirked. “Very cute.”
“Oh, I know I am.”
I shook my head. “You wish you were as cute as you think you are.”
“You wish I wasn’t as cute as you think I am.”
I looked away, but didn’t hide my agreeing smile quick enough.
“Don’t worry, Barlow. I won’t tell anyone you like the way I look.”
“I thought we established the other night that I don’t like the way you look?”
“Uh, no. I let you think I’d conceded. In reality, we both know you like the way I look. It’s futile to refute it.”
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