Friday was no better. Especially when Mason went past us as I got out of Roman’s ute and reminded me to pick a movie for our date. I noticed Roman take a step away from me even though he hadn’t been standing anywhere near me. I smiled at Mason and nodded, but there was no ignoring the fact that Roman and I had no idea how to behave around each other and it seemed like time might not be able to fix it after all.
Still, Mason.
Mason was the goal and I’d reached it.
I shook off my worries about what Roman and I were and focussed on the blue eyes that always held a smile for me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nose-First Crash into Awkward-town.
I’d fretted and fidgeted and I’d left my room looking like a bomb full of unwanted clothes had gone off. Even with Hadley’s help most of the afternoon, I still didn’t trust I’d worn the right thing. Hadley assured me I looked great, but I didn’t really feel like myself.
It hadn’t helped when I’d had the strong urge to see Roman before I’d left. But, halfway to his house, I realised his ute wasn’t in the driveway and I told myself I could deal with the anxiety myself. I took deep, steadying breaths and explained it away as excitement.
Still, I was walking towards the cinema complex just before half past six on Saturday, willing myself to let go of the death grip on my bag and convincing myself I didn’t need to check I’d locked the car again.
I jumped like a complete git as I felt my phone vibrate in my hands, but ignored it; ten to one said it was Hadley checking I’d reapplied my lippie before getting out of the car. Ten to one also said I hadn’t done anything of the sort.
“Piper!” I heard Mason call and looked up to see him walking towards me.
I gave him my best impression of a relaxed, sweet but still a little spicy smile, and hugged him. I even kissed his cheek for good measure and was gratified when he kissed mine.
I got something right, at least.
“Hey,” I answered as we pulled away. “How are you?”
He smiled. “Good. You?”
I nodded. “Good.”
He looked down at me. “Wow. You look…amazing. I like what you’ve done with your hair,” he finished as he bounced one of the curls Hadley had insisted on putting in it.
I fluffed my hair self-consciously. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure it was going to work. But…” I flailed in a terrible attempt at a nonchalant ‘here we are’ shrug.
“No, it looks great. Super sexy.”
I flushed and looked down, which gave me a decent chance to look at him properly.
Of course he actually looked amazing – I still wasn’t convinced my skirt wasn’t slightly too short for the occasion even with tights. But then, Mason sort of just always looked amazing.
He was wearing sandy-brown boots, grey jeans with an olive t-shirt and a dark denim jacket with a sort of fuzzy lining. His blue eyes shone as he looked at me and his light brown hair was swept back in a way that looked far too cool for school.
Honestly, the whole package just made me a little tongue-tied.
“You… Uh… You look great, too.”
His grin was super sexy and he flicked his head back for good measure. “Thanks. Thought I’d dress up. Look the part, you know?”
“The part?” I asked, totally not knowing.
“Well, I could hardly be seen with a beautiful girl like you looking like my usual self,” he chuckled.
I knew he was joking really, but something about the idea he couldn’t be himself around me unsettled me. I smiled, though.
“Well, how about next time we both just wear our trackies and uggboots and call that done?” I asked, wondering if I sounded as strained as I thought I did.
He grinned. “Next time?”
I nodded. “I assumed that was the idea here?”
“Pretty presumptuous, don’t you think?” he teased.
Well, I certainly didn’t know what to think now. Boyfriend-girlfriend? One date-done? Few dates, dating? I was so confused!
Don’t let it show!
I broke into a smile. “Well, if I shouldn’t be expecting anything, should I know now?”
He took my hand and we started walking. “What do you feel like eating?” he asked with a wry smile.
I shrugged. “I don’t mind.”
“Well, we have the usual on offer.”
With a smile, I answered, “How about burgers at Lacey’s? It’s almost warm enough to sit outside.” I paused as a thought hit me. “Oh! What about pizza?”
He chuckled. “Let’s start with Lacey’s and see what you feel like when you sit down?”
Our hands swung. “Sounds good.”
We walked along in silence. I wasn’t sure if it was companionable or not. I mean, I felt okay… But, then I started worrying about how he was feeling. Did he think I was feeling awkward? Was he feeling awkward? Did he expect me to talk? Should we be talking? Should I stop swinging his hand? Should I let go? Was I supposed to be walking closer to him? What should I be talking about?
I wracked my brain for things to talk about. But the harder I thought, the further any potential topics seemed to get from reach.
I was pulled out of my crazy mind when I felt a tug on my hand.
“Lacey’s yeah?” Mason asked, looking a little confused.
I blinked and looked around, realising I’d been about to walk straight past Lacey’s.
“Uh, yeah,” I chuckled self-consciously. “Yes,” I tried again with a little more confidence.
“Outside?” he checked as a waitress came over and I nodded.
“Table for two?” she asked and I recognised her as a girl a year or two below us at school.
“Yes, thanks. Outside, please,” Mason answered.
She smiled at him the way everyone seemed to smile at Mason. She flicked her hair and batted her eyes a little. But, Mason just put his arm around my shoulder and looked into my eyes.
“Milkshake or soft drink?” he asked me.
“Coke, I think,” I answered, my eyes sliding to the waitress.
The waitress gave me a look that clearly told me I’d won that round before giving me the perfect hospitality smile. “This way, please.”
Mason and I followed her to a table under a heater that made it quite pleasant out actually. She passed us menus as we sat and took our drink orders before leaving us to decide what to eat.
“So, have you decided between the burger and pizza?” Mason asked.
I looked up at him and pulled my head out of my arse.
The guy looked at me like Tormund looks at Brienne – or, so I was told – and I was sitting there like a complete dick. I was worrying over every little thing, second-guessing myself, looking for issues left, right and centre.
I took a deep breath, told myself to just relax, and gave him a smile that I was actually pretty pleased with.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “On one hand, it’s a burger. On the other, it’s pizza.”
Mason laughed, his eyes dancing. “I see the dilemma. The question is, can you eat a whole pizza?”
I felt myself relaxing; food was something I could talk about easily and forever. “Well, I can. The real question is should I? Especially with popcorn and a choc top making an appearance later.”
His mouth dropped open in jest. “Popcorn and a choc top? What makes you think there’ll be popcorn and a choc top?”
I leant over towards him. “The fact that I am quite capable of paying for those sorts of things myself.”
He took hold of my hand on the table. “Anything else you need? I thought after we could get ice cream? Maybe cake if anyone’s open?”
“Oh, cake?”
“Mud cake, specifically.”
“Why, Mr Carter. You do know how to charm a girl,” I giggled and movement caught my eye.
My eyes slid sideways and all laughter died on my lips.
Roman was walking do
wn the street with his mates and a few girls, and his eyes were already glued to me. I couldn’t stop myself giving him a once over as he passed. He was wearing white sneakers, dark jeans, a white slouched-neck t-shirt and an unbuttoned dark grey shirt. His dark brown hair was longer than Mason’s and there was no way he was even thinking about styling it. But somehow, it still managed to look incredible. My fingers twitched like they wanted to do more than just remember what it felt like.
My chest did that weird jump-plummet thing, but I threw on a smile and waved to him. He did not wave back. Rio smirked at me in that hard way he had lately as he said something in Roman’s ear, his arm around a girl I didn’t know.
Mason turned and I saw the two boys exchange a hard look.
I really didn’t know what else I should have expected. Mason said my friendship with Roman was cool. But they’d hated each other before; why would they just start tolerating each other now one was my friend and the other…my boyfriend?
Before I could get back to the burger versus pizza discussion with Mason, one of the girls with Roman pushed through the group and threw herself around him. He lazily draped his arm around her shoulder as he talked to Steve as though he wasn’t watching me. For some reason, the sight had me swallowing hard, but I turned to Mason like it didn’t bother me.
“So, with all that future eating in mind, eating a whole pizza seems like a rookie mistake,” I said with a piss-poor attempt at unfazed as I brushed some hair from my face.
Mason’s eyes followed Roman’s progress behind me, but I refused to turn around. Finally, he dragged those beautiful blues back to me and smiled.
“Well if you feel like pizza, then I could probably share one with you,” he said.
I grinned. “Remember, I love pineapple.”
He leant forward and I mimicked him. “I can live with that.”
We looked into each other’s eyes for a few nervously excited heartbeats. I felt myself lick my lip and Mason’s eyes darted down at the movement. My heart rate somehow managed to increase at the look in them when he finally looked back into my eyes.
I didn’t know how a guy could look at you like that. Like you were… I didn’t even know. Like you were the only thing he was focussed on? Like you were something to be unwrapped carefully until he found out all your secrets. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not. I mean, it had felt good until I’d gone into over-analysation mode.
“I’m really glad we’re doing this, Piper…” he said slowly.
I blinked. “Doing what?” I asked, like an idiot.
His smile was enough to give my heart that little kick. “Going out.”
I licked my lip again, more out of nerves than anything. “Me, too,” I replied and hoped I wasn’t lying.
We moved forward slowly and our lips touched. It was firmer and briefer than I’d expected, but there wasn’t anything unpleasant about it. It made my stomach do a bit of a happy dance and I pulled away with a smile on my face. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and stared down at my menu.
Mason squeezed my hand and I squeezed his back.
“Barbeque chicken with extra pineapple?” he asked.
I slid my eyes up to look at him and tried to bite my lip against the huge smile growing on my face. I felt like maybe, just maybe, it was all going to be easier than I was making it. Maybe my guy and I were on the same wavelength after all. Maybe I could get the hang of this dating thing.
“Sounds good,” I answered.
Our drinks arrived and we ordered and I managed to make it through dinner with some semblance of dignity. I didn’t snort obscenely or giggle hysterically or blurt out something too idiotic – a little idiotic once or twice, but nothing more than my usual adorable self. Mason did most of the talking and I found that I could keep up. During moments of silence, I started panicking a little about what I should say or do next. But, on the whole – while it could have been a little more comfortable and easy – as far as first date dinners went, I think it was okay.
The movie was good; there was hand-holding and a short popcorn fight. He even kissed ice cream off my nose. But there was no need for talking, so I at least didn’t have to worry about what I was saying.
After, we strolled around a little bit and Mason held up the conversation.
That was when the panic started creeping back in. I felt antsy and unsure and second-guessed myself totally. I forgot how to flirt and realised I wasn’t sure I’d ever known to begin with. And, that dignity? Yeah, I kissed that goodbye well and truly.
Forget cake – even mud cake. I had to get out of there.
“I guess I should call it a night…” I started. “Get home before Mum and Dad send out the search party.” I mentally winced at such a stupid thing to say.
But, Mason smiled. “No worries. Where are you parked?” I pointed back up the street. “Can I walk you?”
I nodded. “Yeah, sure. That’d be nice.”
Again, I had no idea if the silence was comfortable or not and I overthought it the whole way back to my Mum’s car.
Surely I should say something?
No, Mason would totally say something if he was uncomfortable?
Unless, he’s rethinking the whole dating thing?
Then, he wouldn’t say anything.
Oh, my God, I’ve made a total dick of myself tonight.
Did I smile properly?
Maybe I looked like a serial killer when I smiled?
Oh, my God! Did I have something in my teeth?
Did I smell?
What the hell is wrong with you?
So much for wavelengths…
I patted the roof of Mum’s car awkwardly as I stepped up to it and smiled at Mason. “Thanks for tonight. I had a good time,” I said.
He smiled, but something about his eyes was less enthusiastic than before. “Me, too. I’ll talk to you later?”
I nodded. “Definitely.”
He nodded and stepped forward.
Right. Goodnight kiss. Standard.
I leant up to him and our noses crashed into each other. We both took a step back with a laugh.
“Wow. Well done me,” I huffed.
Mason tilted my face up to look at him. “How do you know that wasn’t my fault?”
Mason’s voice was low and smooth. His eyes were warm and focussed. He was looking at me like Patrick looked at Kat, like Chase looked at Nicole, like Lloyd looked at Diane. It was everything I should have wanted, but I didn’t feel like Kat or Nicole or Diane.
“I highly doubt you’re that uncoordinated,” I answered
His hand slid from my chin around to cup my cheek. “Second time lucky.”
He leant down and kissed me.
I should have leant into him and kissed him back…better. But, I was too busy overthinking everything again. When he pulled away, he looked at me like I’d just divulged my biggest secret – except I didn’t know what it was. I suddenly felt rather naked.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said softly.
I nodded. “I’d like that.”
His eyes dropped to my lips and back up to my eyes again. Something about him seemed…dull. Not knowing what else to do, I reached up and kissed him again.
It wasn’t fireworks. It wasn’t slow burn. But, it was nice. It was something I could get used to. Something steadfast and true. Something I knew I could call mine.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Perfect Life 2.0.
“Okay, I lied,” he said, standing in front of me.
Rain hammered down around us. His dark hair was flattened and his eyes were lost in shadow. But, I knew them well enough to picture the apology and the sheer depth in them. And, it made me shiver from more than just cold.
“What?”
“I lied.” He took a step towards me. “We promised honesty, and I broke that promise.”
“How?” My heart skipped, tripped, and beat faster.
&nb
sp; “Because I never wanted you to go out with Carter.”
“Sorry?” I asked, sounding a little more breathless than was ideal.
He shook his head. “No, I didn’t care at first. I was like, whatever, she can do whatever the fuck she wants–”
“Oh, good. So pleased,” I muttered.
“–but, then we spent every day together for two weeks and you got under my fucking skin, Piper. We went back to school and I just never wanted that day to come. I wanted him to… Fuck!” he yelled, then continued quieter, “I don’t even know.”
“What, Roman?”
“Anything. Anything was preferable to him asking you out. I felt like my life was split into before he asked and after he asked, and after was just going to be full of shit and misery. I saw it coming and I pretended I didn’t. Then, it happened and…I lost you…”
God, my heart fell over its own feet and wasn’t entirely sure if it should bother getting back up again yet or not. It was a lovely sentiment, but I really didn’t know how I felt – except sucker-punched…
Suddenly, I was rethinking this running after him in the dark thing. Sure, he hadn’t spoken to me since I’d seen him out on Saturday night. He hadn’t been at school that day and his no-show had seen me properly late for the first time in…well, forever. So, when I’d seen the tell-tale spark of one of his cigarettes out my window, I’d run outside and called his name. I’d called his name and asked him how he was as though everything was fine, as though everything was normal.
I was starting to think I really regretted that now.
“It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?” I asked.
“I couldn’t not tell you.”
I nodded. “Okay, well you did.” But, what was I going to do with that information?
“You didn’t just get under my skin, Piper. You got into my head. Into my heart. And, I can’t fucking get you out.”
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