Chosen by the Doctor

by Madisen, Samantha

  I was in pain and torment from his correction when a wave of shame and humiliation flooded through me. Nothing like it had ever happened before, but I felt a trickle of dampness run from in between my legs.

  I felt my face burn hotter as the pain of the spanking mingled with a strange arousal in between my legs. From deep within my core I felt a climax looming and I hoped that he would stop before it came.

  When he stopped, it waned back into my core, but there was now a pool of warm dampness coming from my softest part. I closed my eyes and cursed my body and prayed he wouldn’t notice.

  I felt my skirts falling back over my bottom, though my underwear was still around my ankles. He walked back around the desk and sat down. I stood there, eyes shut in the silence of the room until I could bear it no more. When I opened my eyes, I saw that he was staring at me and most likely had been the whole time. Fresh shame flooded through me as I wondered whether he’d seen the evidence of my arousal.

  He didn’t drop his gaze from me as he spoke. “Now, Miss Butler, you may go.”

  His calm manner and even tone were more unnerving than any tirade I’d endured from Mrs. Everton.

  Unable to hold his gaze, I pulled my underwear back up and raced down the hall. I paid no heed to what was certainly a sneer from Evelyn as I ran past her. The whole world seemed to be spinning and I was powerless to stop it. I ran through the corridors and out of the doors and as fast as I could to the crumbling wall where I hopped over to see Bugs’ wagging tail.

  As soon as I saw him, the tears began to flow from my eyes and it felt as if they were all the tears I’d always meant to cry but never had. I slumped down against the wall, cowering against the weight of what I’d done and how I’d sealed my fate.

  I didn’t even care what Mrs. Everton would do when she found out I’d jumped the wall again. I didn’t care that by this evening I’d inevitably be back in the street. I buried my nose in Bugs’ greyish fur and wept until no more tears would come. Then I sat against the wall, staring at the cobbled lane until the light had faded to the point where I could barely see a thing.

  “I’m sorry, Bugs…” I said, for not bringing him a scrap of food. Pulling myself to my feet, I crawled back over the wall to face my fate.

  It had gotten so late that I worried that the door might be locked and that I would have to spend the night outside or pound on it loudly and face Mrs. Everton’s wrath.

  But it wasn’t. The handle turned and the great thing swung inward, much to my surprise. The lights had all been extinguished, save one. The door to her office was open and a light came from inside. Somehow I knew that light was meant for me. I steeled myself and walked toward it, my backside already aching from the wooden spoon I knew she’d have next to her. Imagine my surprise when not only was the spoon not there, Mrs. Everton didn’t even rise as I walked into the room.

  “There you are.”

  I said nothing. I wondered if she’d been in the drink, for how calm she was. Perhaps it had dulled her senses along with her emotions.

  I don’t know why I said what I said next. Perhaps a part of me just wanted to get it over with. I knew it was coming later that week and perhaps I thought it would be best just to face it then.

  “I’ve been over the wall.”

  “I know.”

  Not the answer I’d expected.

  “I had to take care of Bugs.”

  “Yes. I had Jonah check on you from time to time to make sure you were alright.”

  That surprised me even more. I hadn’t heard a thing. Had I been that lost in thought?

  “You had…”

  “Yes,” she said, putting up a hand and not letting me finish.

  I felt a sudden need to fall upon the sword, expedite my fate, and cast myself out into the night.

  “Shall I get my things?”

  “Yes.”

  A bolt of fear and anger tore through me at her response. Even though I knew that’s what had been waiting for me, I suppose there was some part of me that had held out a tiny glimmer of hope. That she might show some mercy. That she might let me stay for just a time longer, until I could find… what? There was nothing for me to find.

  I turned and started walking toward the door. I felt bad for not saying anything, but I had nothing left to give and no tears left to cry.

  “He’s left the carriage waiting in the courtyard.”

  My heart stopped.

  Chapter Five

  Dr. Renshaw

  I saw Mrs. Gibbins eyeing me sideways as she carefully maneuvered the roast onto my plate.

  “Well?” I asked.

  “Well, what?” she replied.

  “Go on and ask. I know you want to.”

  “It’s none of my business, is it?”

  “It’s eating you up inside.”

  She snuffed and turned her nose up at me, then shook her head. “Nonsense.”

  “Very well. I shall just tell you then.”

  Her expression changed immediately when I said it and I worried she might drop the plate. Setting it in front of me, she walked to the side table to get the wine.

  “After all, you’ve cooked a dinner for two and here I am, only one.”

  She poured the wine and walked back to the side table to set it down. “I suppose I did find it a bit curious,” she said, turning back around. “Will there be anything else?”

  “You might sit with me for some company.”

  She was surprisingly unsurprised.

  “Will you eat some roast?”

  A deep breath, a scornful glance at the impropriety of it. The help eating with the house! Could anything be worse?

  “Please? Or I shall be forced to wait until you leave and then my food will be cold.”

  This seemed a suitable excuse. She sliced herself a thin leaf and placed it on her plate along with a small potato.

  “If you’re wondering whether I’ve given up on my habit as you call it, I haven’t.”

  I wasn’t sure whether it was disappointment or relief that showed on her face.

  “I have chosen a girl. Or, rather, she chose me.”

  She raised an eyebrow then went back to chewing the roast.

  I took a sip of wine.

  “Where is she then?”

  “Still at the orphanage,” I replied, reveling a little too much in her curiosity.

  She put her utensils down and sat upright. “Now look, Dr. Renshaw, if you intend to string me along like this, I shall bid you good night and…”

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Gibbins. You are right,” I said, smiling by way of apology. “I was enjoying your interest a little too much.”

  She seemed to accept the apology as she picked up her fork again.

  “The girl is still at the orphanage, or at least I hope she is.”

  “What on earth do you mean, still at the orphanage? Why?”

  “Because she ran away after receiving a sound spanking from me for her behavior,” I replied, eyeing my claret.

  This seemed to intrigue Mrs. Gibbins even more. “Ran away, you say? Were you cruel?”

  “Not at all. The girl had received correction by Mrs. Everton’s hand. But a girl like that needs to feel a proper correction. From a man. When she did, she panicked. It happens quite often that young women don’t know how to react.”

  Mrs. Gibbins nodded her approval. Though most of the young ladies Mrs. Everton had selected for me in the past had not required such methods, this was the reason I had insisted on choosing a girl myself. This was the sort of young woman who could most benefit from my tutelage and discipline, the one that could rise the farthest from her station in life.

  “And what did Mrs. Everton think of your methods?”

  “I had something of a dispute with Mrs. Everton today. I told her I no longer wanted her selecting the girls I brought back. She objected but I won out. I spoke with each of them but this one, Tennie, her name was, was the only one that spoke to me.”

  “Spoke to you? You mean
she talked back?” Mrs. Gibbins asked, aghast.

  “No. But I can tell she is a troubled child.”

  “A troubled child?” Mrs. Gibbins’ frown darkened. “We’ve no need for that.”

  “Perhaps we don’t,” I replied. “But this isn’t about how much we need her, Mrs. Gibbins. It’s about how much she needs us.”

  Mrs. Gibbins didn’t respond. She chewed her food, staring down at her plate and not looking up.

  “Well?”

  “Yes?” she asked, looking up.

  “I can tell you’ve something to say. Perhaps you should say it?”

  She shook her head and returned to the last morsel of roast she had left on her plate.

  “You know I always value what you have to say, Mrs. Gibbins, there’s no need to be shy.”

  She looked up. “It’s just… I shouldn’t.”

  This was curious. Mrs. Gibbins was not often as shy as this. “Mrs. Gibbins? What is it? Rest assured, I’ll not take offence.”

  When she looked at me again, it was with pained eyes and a deeply concerned expression. It caught me off guard.

  “It’s just, don’t you think it’s time, sir?”

  “Time? For what?” She certainly had my interest.

  “Time to move on, Dr. Renshaw? Time to move away from the past?”

  My expression clouded as I realized what she was talking about.

  “It’s been so long now. Miss Evans is gone and won’t return and…”

  “That will be quite enough!” I said, bringing my hand to rest a little too firmly on the table. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout.”

  Mrs. Gibbins lowered her eyes back to her plate. “It’s I who should be sorry. It’s just you asked, Doctor.”

  “I did…” I answered, my mind drifting into the past. She was right. I hadn’t forgotten Sarah Evans. I feared I never would. The memory of reading the letter she’d left still burned next to my heart. I clenched my jaw and buried it, the way I always did when I thought of her. When I looked back up, Mrs. Gibbins was looking at me again.

  “You’re a good man, Dr. Renshaw. You deserve some happiness in this life.”

  I took a deep breath to ease the tightness in my throat. “I do find happiness in helping out these girls each year, Mrs. Gibbins, I assure you.”

  “It is a noble thing you do, but don’t you wish for a family of your own, Doctor?”

  I felt the tightness return at her suggestion.

  “Sir?” William’s deep voice made us both look to the door.

  I felt a swell of relief at not having to answer the question. “Yes? What is it?”

  “She is here, sir.”

  I stood up. A little too quickly, spilling my wine. The white tablecloth soaked red. “Oh, bloody thing!” I cursed.

  “Never mind,” Mrs. Gibbins said, waving me away. “I’ll see to it.”

  I straightened my jacket and followed William out the door.

  Chapter Six

  Tennie

  Even as I’d ridden in the carriage on the way out of the orphanage I’d had no idea what to make of Mrs. Everton’s reaction to what had happened. From what I knew of her, she was a woman accustomed to getting her way no matter who she was dealing with. I would have thought she would have been much more upset at how things turned out, though I still didn’t believe it myself.

  I had stood in Mrs. Everton’s office for a long time wondering why on earth the doctor had chosen me after what had happened. Then I had weighed the decision more carefully than I’d thought about anything. Would I remand myself to the custody of a man that had disciplined me so firmly? I was still humiliated by my reaction to what he’d done, but, as ashamed as I was to admit it, it was thrilling to imagine that aching tickle inside me again from his stern correction.

  It was Mrs. Everton who’d told me I’d be a fool to reject the doctor’s offer and practically shoved me into the waiting carriage. I’d had a moment to say goodbye to a teary Darla and I caught a glimpse of the furious Evelyn on the way out.

  That’s what filled my mind on the carriage ride to the doctor’s house: Evelyn. But not in the way you’d expect. She’d been nothing but mean to me and I had no reason to feel sorry for her, but for some reason, as I rode toward Dr. Renshaw’s home, I could not help but imagine her lying in bed, crying, her hopes of leaving that life dashed because of me. What strange compulsion was it that I wanted to ask the driver to turn back and tell her to take my place? I knew, though, that I would not have any say in that matter. That I could only refuse to go myself. For that I did not have the strength. For no matter how badly I might feel about Evelyn, she at least had learned something in her time at the orphanage and would not starve.

  Mrs. Everton would not explain anything about what had transpired or what had caused Dr. Renshaw to pick me. She would not tell me what he’d said after I’d burst from my meeting with him, crying. I was left to wonder what on earth a man like that would want with a silly girl like me and I came to some vile conclusions.

  Perhaps the rumors were true? Perhaps he only wanted a girl to spank and throw down into his dungeon and use. I shuddered at the thought, but then blushed as I realized it awoke in me a sensation similar to what I’d felt as I was being spanked. An aching tickle at the thought of him doing something like that.

  The carriage turned up a cobbled drive and stopped in front of a large house. It was an imposing three stories and impressive to a girl like me who’d only ever seen the orphanage as home. How could one person have all those rooms? What would he do with them all? When the driver opened the door my hands were shaking; in fact it felt like my whole body was trembling.

  Stepping through the massive oak doors only made my shivering more violent. I clung to Bugs, hoping he might absorb some of my nerves.

  As I waited in the darkened hall, my own fears, those I felt late at night, seemed everywhere in the shadows. What was going to happen when he discovered the truth about me? That I could not read or write or do much of anything besides eat and sleep and get into trouble? He could not send me back to the orphanage. He would have to cast me out onto the street. Or perhaps those things were unimportant to him and I was really going to end up in his dungeon, as some of the girls had surmised.

  By the time I saw him walking down the hall, I was ready to scream and run from the place myself. I might have, had the large door not been closed and locked behind me by the driver on his way out.

  He stopped when he saw me. I caught his stare. We stood there for a while, eyeing each other in the darkness, I thinking how much different he looked here in his element. How much more… handsome.

  “Miss Butler. You’ve come.”

  I cringed at hearing my name spoken like that. I wasn’t used to it and I didn’t know if I ever would be. “Please. Tennie. If you don’t mind.”

  I lowered my eyes and curtseyed as best I could and waited to hear how he might reply.

  “Very well. Tennie. You may call me Dr. Renshaw. Or ‘sir.’ Whichever you would like.”

  He seemed as stern and serious as he had been in the orphanage. I reminded myself that, whatever awaited me here, I had come willingly and as Mrs. Everton had said, should probably make the best of it.

  “Sir. If you don’t mind.”

  “Very good,” he said, nodding. “Has Henry taken your things?”

  I swallowed. Too loudly, I thought. I glanced down at the small parcel I was carrying. It was all I had.

  “Of course. Never mind. As soon as we take your measurements there will be plenty of dresses made for you here. Have you had your evening meal?”

  I shook my head.

  “Come then. Let’s get you fed.”

  I was introduced to Mrs. Gibbins who, I thought, watched me through narrowed eyes as she served a heaping plate of roast and potatoes, like I was going to steal the silverware.

  Mrs. Gibbins disappeared into the kitchen and Dr. Renshaw and I were left alone again.

  * * *

 
Dr. Renshaw

  I knew something was different about her than all the others. Perhaps only I could see it, but the look of her awoke a… very powerful instinct within me. What it was, I did not know. I knew it was there; I felt something deeply.

  We must have sat there for some time, she and I, after Mrs. Gibbins had left because she started to fidget and her face turned red. It made me realize I’d been staring and probably making the girl uncomfortable.

  “Do you know why you are here?” I asked.

  She glanced up but didn’t hold my gaze. She looked quite frightened. She finally shook her head but remained silent.

  “Every year, I take a young woman who is about to leave the orphanage into my home. You must have known about that?”

  She nodded, but still didn’t look up.

  “This year you are that young woman. You will live here with the staff and me. I will teach you music. We will read together. The classics. I will instruct you in maths and elementary sciences.”

  She did not react to any of this. Simply kept staring at her plate.

  “Does that interest you?”

  She nodded, but only slightly. From what I could see of her face, she looked very worried.

  “It is normal to feel out of place at a time like this,” I offered. “It is a great change for you, no doubt. However, I am certain you will come to enjoy your time here. Is something the matter?”

  She shook her head and looked up. Her eyes were glassy and bright, but she did not let any tears come out.

  “You look like you might cry?”

  She forced a smile and shook her head yet again. “No. I’ll be fine.”

  “Very well,” I answered after a time. “Do you have any questions? About all this?”

  “Is that all?”

  “Is what all?” I asked.

  “Is that all you’ll be doing with me? Music and reading and the like?”

  “Is there something else you’d like to learn about?” The question seemed to scare her into silence again as her eyes drifted down to the table. I sensed an apprehension in her. “You know, Tennie, you have nothing to fear from me.”