Steven

by Suzy Shearer

  "Monday? Monday when I was trying to get you back from the sub-drop?"

  Steven was now more confused.

  "Yes. I remembered yesterday. I remembered her coming into the doorway when you stood to get me the headache tablets. You put a hand on her shoulder, shaking your head and pushed her from the room. So, I suppose you're going to tell me I imagined her."

  He laughed with relief. "That was Anna you saw. She's my housekeeper. She and her husband have been caring for this house, and before that, my old house and the grounds, for the past fifteen years. They’re good friends."

  Suddenly, Avril looked mortified.

  "House … housekeeper?"

  "Yes. She heard you crying and came to see if she could help. She'd just finished cleaning the house."

  "Housekeeper?"

  "Oh, Kitten, come here."

  He opened his arms and waited. It would have to be up to Avril if she came to him. She still stared at him—shock and remorse on her face. She bit her bottom lip, trying to hold back her threatening tears.

  "I … I'm so sorry, Steven."

  "Come here, Kitten. Please, we can talk about it." Finally, she took the few steps to reach him, and he wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay. Why didn't you simply ask me who she was?"

  "I thought she was your wife. I thought you were trying to keep her a secret. You had that playroom, and I saw her in the house and then you were bundling her from the room."

  "Why didn't you ask me on Monday?"

  "Actually, I forgot. So much was happening all at once that I only remembered yesterday. I was thinking about what had developed and the living room, and then I remembered how you'd been very concerned about my headache, then gotten me tablets and juice and suddenly I recalled seeing her."

  "You should have asked me yesterday."

  He had to strain his ears as she murmured, "I was angry."

  Steven moved toward the kitchen island and lifted her easily onto it. Now he could see her face properly.

  "Why were you so angry?"

  "I just was."

  "That's not an excuse, tell me."

  She squirmed, embarrassment showing on her face.

  "Kitten, I've told you we must have complete honesty between us. Now tell me."

  "No, it's nothing really."

  "You do know you are infuriating."

  Indignantly, she retorted, "I am not infuriating."

  "You are. You won't talk to me. You won't tell me why you got so angry. You do know you could have solved this with a simple phone call? You exasperate me."

  "Well, if I'm that much trouble then leave me alone!"

  "Oh no, Kitten, you don't escape that easily. Tell me why you were this angry."

  She shook her head, and Steven glared at her. Finally, she sighed. Then she said, her voice soft, "I didn't want to share you with anyone. I didn't want to play second fiddle.”

  Steven got a surge of excitement. Unless he was grossly mistaken she'd been jealous. Did that mean she liked him more than she gave out?

  "Oh, my little Kitten, you won't ever be second place with me. You'll always be number one."

  He could tell she wasn't wholly over her embarrassment. But then all at once her face changed, as her shame took over.

  With her face downcast as she studied the floor, she said, "I'm truly very sorry, Steven. I shouldn't have done that. I should have given you the chance to explain instead of making stupid assumptions. I remembered seeing her, and everything seemed to kind of implode. I was still dealing with who I was and with the sub-drop thing. Accepting there was a chance for a relationship between you and me, and then I thought…” She took another deep breath. “I honestly thought you just wanted a plaything. It really hurt me."

  "Kitten, look at me." He waited until she lifted her head, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. They filled her eyes, and he knew it wouldn't take much before they spilled over. "I can understand how you must have felt. But now this is behind us. It's over and done with. It was simply a misunderstanding. This is why it is vital that we talk about everything, why I demand complete honesty from both of us." Those tears seemed ready to burst forth as he added, "Don't get upset, don't cry."

  "I can if I want to."

  She sounded like a little lost girl, and he smiled.

  "Well yes, you can, but there isn't a reason to. I'm not angry or upset."

  One stray tear finally escaped to run down her cheek as she looked at him, staring into his face. He reached out and gently brushed it from her skin with the ball of his thumb. She leaned into his hand.

  "I'm really sorry."

  "Enough, Kitten. All forgotten."

  She nodded and sighed. Steven knew exactly how awful it must have been for her to think he was married and intended to have her around as a plaything, despite him saying he wanted a relationship and was single. She'd only learned she was a sexual masochist that day and then thought he wanted a toy, thought he'd lied to her. If it had been the other way around he'd have been furious. He kissed her softly and felt his cock jump when she kissed him back.

  "I'm guessing the only male in your life is this monster."

  "George?"

  "That's his name?"

  "He was all mine, but somehow I think he's switched allegiance to you."

  Steven grinned at her and bent to pat the dog's head. George immediately rolled over, and Steven crouched down to rub his tummy.

  "He's a nice dog. I'm glad he was noisy when I arrived. I don't like thinking you're alone in the house."

  "I'm not sure if George would attack anyone, but he'd certainly make a lot of noise and he always growls at strangers. Actually, I'm surprised he obeyed you."

  Steven got to his feet and put his hands either side of Avril.

  "Ready to let me take you to the club tonight?"

  She smiled, her whole face lighting up as she nodded.

  "Promise one thing, Avril. Promise me you'll talk to me in future. I don't care even if it's only something trivial. As long as we always talk to each other there will never be another misunderstanding like this."

  She nodded. "I will, Steven. Hell, I still feel stupid."

  He kissed her forehead.

  "Don't be. Come on, get dressed and let's go."

  He lifted her from the bench and held her, resting his head on the top of hers, taking in that same coconut scent of her hair. Finally, he let her go.

  "I won't be long."

  She left the room, and Steven bent down to the dog.

  "Well, George. I hope you don't mind sharing because I intend to be in your mistress's life from now on."

  The dog wagged his tail so much his whole back-end was jiggling back and forth as well. Steven put his hands both sides of the dog’s head and rubbed. George gave a little doggy groan of bliss as Steven settled on the floor to pet him. Ten minutes later Avril came into the kitchen, sliding her arms into the sleeves of a jacket. She wore a matching skirt with a cream top, and to Steven's eyes she was beautiful. He was especially pleased to see she'd braided her hair for him.

  He stood and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

  "Can I use your bathroom?"

  She pointed the way, and he used the facilities then washed his hands. He followed Avril to the front door before hitting his forehead with his hand.

  "Damn! I forgot. I rode my bike over. I was so worried I jumped on it and never thought. Do you want to follow me?"

  She grinned at him. "Perhaps we should take my car. You can put your bike in the garage."

  "You don't mind?"

  "No. Maybe one day you'll take me for a ride on it but not tonight."

  "Deal."

  They walked to the garage, and Steven rolled his bike into it when Avril backed her car out. She got out the driver’s side and handed him the keys, then slid into the passenger seat.

  Chapter Eleven

  When Steven and Avril walked into the club, Steven told her he'd wait in the lounge for her after she signed in. He'd al
ready advised the staff that Avril was his guest so she had no problems. Stan did give her another form to fill in, telling her it was a more in-depth one that all members had to complete. She put her shoes, bag, and coat into her locker after filling out the paperwork and signing it. Returning it to Stan, she then padded out to the lounge, where Steven was talking to a tall, dark-skinned man dressed in what she was coming to think was the Dominants’ preferred garb of black leather pants and black or white shirt.

  "This is Avril. Avril, this is Master Ash. He is the co-owner of the club."

  "Hello, Avril."

  His deep voice was silky, dark, and held hints of power.

  "Hello, Master Ash."

  Ash was as tall as, or maybe even a little taller, than Steven, and she had to admit he was a very attractive, if formidable, man. She had the impression he was of Indian descent, and he was much more muscular than Steven. Steven was more athletic, but Ash was all muscle and width. His dark brown almost black eyes seemed to see deep inside her. He had an intense and powerful presence that couldn’t be ignored. But at the same time there was something about him that scared Avril. He had the same air of confidence as Steven, but there was something almost threatening about him. Avril got the impression it would be impossible to hide anything from him. She'd also hate to be at the focus of his anger.

  "Steven informs me you're thinking of joining us."

  "Yes. I … I really enjoyed the introduction evenings."

  Another Dom called out to Steven, and he excused himself.

  "Steven tells me you appeared to be a sexual masochist."

  Avril felt very embarrassed but answered softly. "It seems that way."

  "Don't be embarrassed, Avril. You'll find people are very upfront and honest in the lifestyle."

  "So I'm learning."

  "I'm pleased you seem to be getting on well with Master Steven. He's been alone for too long, and he's been holding back on who he is."

  His statement puzzled Avril. "Holding back? I don't understand."

  "There is only one sexual masochist in the club, and that's Master Peter's sub, his wife, Renata. We all know Steven has pegged back his desires, for want of a better way to describe it. He's not using his full potential as a sadist. Naturally, there is no way he would ever subject a partner to something they couldn't handle, but because there is no other masochist within the club that means he isn't fully satisfied and hasn't been for a long, long time."

  "Oh. I think I understand."

  “Yes. He does teach students about safety and how to use things like crops and paddles without damaging, but, of course, that doesn’t fulfil his needs. It means if you are a masochist and, if the two of you form a partnership, he will finally be able to be the full man he is again and you will find he is the perfect master for you."

  "I hope so."

  "Avril, if you have any concerns and you think you can't talk to Master Steven I'm always available."

  "Oh. Um, thank you, Master Ash."

  Avril thought it was hard enough to be honest with Steven, but she'd doubted she could ever be upfront with a man as powerful and scary as Ash.

  "I know at first this is all very confronting and you may find opening up hard, but we are all friendly and ready to help."

  He appeared about as friendly as a hungry black bear inviting a squirrel into his den, but she managed to say, "Thank you, Sir."

  She felt an arm come around her waist and stiffened until she realized it was Steven.

  "Hope you're not scaring her, Ash?"

  "Me? Never."

  Steven roared with laughter.

  "Very funny, Ash."

  Ash bid them both goodnight and walked away. Avril felt a little relieved as Steven moved her toward the stairs, then into a private room.

  "How long have you known Master Ash?"

  "He was my friend before the club opened."

  "Oh, so he's been your friend a long time?"

  "Yes. I know he seems rather stern, but he actually isn't."

  Avril glanced down at the floor then whispered, "He's a bit scary."

  Steven gave a laugh.

  "So, I've been told, but Ash is a good man. When you've been in the club for a while and get to know him, you'll discover he’s also a good friend."

  "I'll take your word for it."

  Steven took her hand and led her to a couch, then sat, pulling her down alongside him.

  "We need to discuss limits."

  "Limits? I saw them on that sheet I just signed but wasn’t sure what to put."

  "Yes, limits are things you will never do, things you may consider doing. If we are to make this work then both of us need to be upfront about our likes and dislikes. I wouldn't like to do something to you that you didn't enjoy, and in the same way I imagine you wouldn't like to know I was doing something that wasn't pleasant to me."

  "Oh, yes, that makes sense, but you have to understand, Steven, this is all new to me. My sex life wasn't all that exciting."

  "Tell me about it. Why wasn't it exciting?"

  "It just wasn't," she mumbled.

  "Kitten, look at me." He waited until she turned her head and looked into his face. "I completely understand this is difficult for you, but it really is important. I want to make our experiences together something wonderful for us both, and unless you're upfront about everything, I could end up making you very unhappy."

  She nodded.

  "Am I right in saying you rarely were aroused in your past relationships?"

  Avril felt her cheeks redden as she nodded once more.

  "You mentioned being hit during sex. Was that when you realized you needed something more than only plain old missionary?"

  She gave a gulp and understood Steven was going to keep at this until she opened up. She sighed. Somehow, she’d have to get used to this frankness between them.

  "Hell, I didn't really know, didn't understand. Yes, I'd rarely gotten excited until that time, but then he … um."

  "He what?"

  "He decided after the second time we had sex to use me as a punching bag."

  Steven's arms came around her, and he pulled her close.

  "Oh, Kitten, I'm very sorry you had to be subjected to that. Tell me what happened?"

  She shrugged. "Guess I was lucky. I ended up with black eyes and bruised ribs. I’ve never discussed it with anyone. I was ashamed."

  “There’s more to it than that. Please, Avril, please tell me everything. You’ll feel better if you talk about it.”

  “Well.”

  She took a huge breath. Maybe it would be better to get this out in the open. She had never trusted anyone enough to tell them about it, thinking they’d judge her. In fact, she’d tried to bury it from herself as well. Now this was her chance to finally rid her mind of what had happened.

  “I’d met this guy, and he seemed nice. We had sex twice. During the first time he asked if he could hit my butt, and I agreed. I’d never had anyone do that, and I kind of thought ‘why not’? But after the second time he punched me in the face, knocking me over. I was opening a bottle of wine for us. When I fell he kicked me and bruised my ribs badly. Somehow, I managed to stagger to my feet amid the broken glass and wine from the bottle scattered around the floor.

  “He started swearing and calling me all the obscene names he could think of and raised his arm to hit me again. I'd backed myself against a wall and grabbed my phone off the counter. I started to dial 911. Thankfully, I think it scared him. He stopped and backed off. But then he'd sneered at me and said if I liked getting hit in bed then it stood to reason I should enjoy it all the time.”

  “Fuck! What? That’s crazy.”

  “Yep. I was still scared that he might try to hurt me more. My face hurt, and my nose was bleeding. He told me women should enjoy being punched and that all the other women he’d dated had. I waved the phone at him and said if he ever contacted me again I’d would report him to the police. Told him I was taking pictures of what he’d done to my
face.”

  “Did he leave then, or did you have to ring the police?”

  “He was furious at me threatening him and poured out another stream of verbal abuse, told me I was lousy in bed, like a block of ice. But thankfully he did leave, although not before he tossed a wineglass at me.”

  She felt Steven kiss the top of her head.

  “I was such a fool.”

  "Never! You must realize now he was the fool, not you. He was only some prick who wouldn't know how to treat a woman and thus resorts to violence and abuse."

  Avril actually did feel better now she’d spoken about it. She knew it hadn’t been her fault later on, but all the same it was embarrassing and hurtful.

  "I know, but it still hurt. I mean, I actually had enjoyed the two times we had sex, something I'd never really done before, and then he had to go and turn into some violent, crazy man."

  "So that was the only time someone had given you pain during sex?"

  "Yes. Mind you it wasn't much. He slapped my bottom a few times and—" Oh hell, this is really embarrassing! "Well, I wished at the time he'd hit harder because I liked it. That made me feel like there was something wrong with me, especially when he seemed to think I wanted to be assaulted all the time."

  "There is nothing wrong with you. Kitten, never be ashamed of who you are and never be ashamed to ask for what you want."

  "I'm learning."

  "Good girl. So as far as limits are concerned. Are there things that you would never consider doing?"

  "I really don't know. I mean I wouldn't like to be cut or bleed or have someone strangle me."

  Steven shook his head and gave a shiver. "Neither would I."

  "Tell me things you don't like to do. Maybe it will help me. This world is really new, and I did read a little about it. I couldn't believe the number of things people do to each other. Quite frankly, some of it scared me."

  "Scares me, too. Well, as you know I get off giving someone pain. I love to be able to inflict it on a partner who can take as much as I dish out. It's a big turn-on for me, and, as I mentioned the other day, it's my high. But I do enjoy full sex, but for me it has to come at the end of a session of inflicting pain."

  "Okay, that makes sense."

  "As far as the sex side goes, I enjoy normal intercourse, and I also like anal, like to think it's that pain-pleasure thing for my partner."