Steven

by Suzy Shearer

  About seven-thirty, Peter Rogers' wife, Renata, stopped and sat with her while Peter was talking with one of the other members. Avril really liked Renata. They had become firm friends over the past months, not only because they shared the same kink, but because they held similar interests and respected each other. Renata was a paralegal with a large firm not far from where Avril worked, and they often had lunch together, their friendship growing stronger as each week passed. She and Steven had had dinner with the couple a number of times. Peter came to collect his wife about fifteen minutes later.

  "Steven not here yet?"

  "No, Master Peter. He said he'd be here at seven, but he must have gotten caught up with the charter."

  "Probably."

  He held out his hand, and his wife stood then followed him out of the lounge area and up the stairs. A few other people went by. All acknowledged her, and some stopped and had a few words with her. It made Avril realize how much she felt relaxed and at home with these people. By eight, she had a tingle of worry. Steven wouldn't normally be this late. Maybe she should ring him. Perhaps his car had broken down? He’d been talking about buying another lately, even though the SUV was only three years old. Getting to her feet, she went into the changing area and used her mobile to call him, but it went direct to voice mail.

  She couldn't hide the sick feeling in her stomach. Going back to the bar, Avril got a fruit juice and tried to push down her unrealistic fear. During the next hour she tried time and time again to ring Steven, each time with the same result. Around nine-thirty she saw Ash come into the lounge area where she'd gone for the twentieth time. He bore down on her, his whole being tense and worried.

  "Avril, come with me."

  "Master Ash? What's happened?"

  "In my office."

  Fearfully, she followed him from the lounge and through to his office. Along the way he asked Kaden to come with them and the fear Avril had been feeling began to increase. Ash opened his office and gestured for her to sit.

  "Avril." He took her hands in his. "Avril, Steven's plane is missing."

  "Missing?" Puzzled, she shook her head. "Ash, I don't understand."

  "There was a mayday call and then nothing. It's presumed the plane has gone down somewhere in the Okanogan-Wenatchee National Forest."

  Avril could only stare at Ash. She’d heard the words, but they didn't make sense, didn't sink in. She peered from him to Kaden. Kaden was pale and in shock as Ash leaned forward, staring up into her face.

  "Avril, do you understand? Steven's plane crashed somewhere in the mountains. That's all we know."

  His words finally bored into her brain. Wrenching her hands from his, Avril tried to get to her feet.

  "No. No! I have to go! I … I have to…"

  Fuck, what could I do? Where could I go?

  "I'm going to the charter offices. They'll have all the latest information. Would you like me to take you?"

  Avril put a hand across her mouth, and that sick feeling she'd had made her swallow bile. She nodded frantically.

  "First we need to get you home and changed." He looked at Kaden. "Will you follow in Avril's car? I don't think it wise she drive."

  "It's okay. I brought Avril so that way she and Steven didn't have two cars here."

  Avril was still trying to come to terms with what Ash had said when Kaden added, "I'm coming to the offices as well."

  Avril knew exactly how much Ash, Kaden, and Jake loved Steven. These two were probably feeling as bad as she was. Ash stood.

  "Get your things and we'll meet you in the foyer."

  She nodded and almost ran down the hall, ripping her locker open and getting her bag. She met the two men in the foyer where Ash was talking quietly to Stan, Finn O’Malley, and Nico Morelli, a master who was also a police detective. The three nodded to her, and Stan took her hands and kissed her cheek.

  "We're here if you need anything, Avril."

  "Thank, thank you."

  Nico had his hand on Ash’s shoulder and said, "Make sure you keep us in the loop, Ash. This is terrible. I’ll be on duty tomorrow at the station if you need anything."

  "I’ll let you all know. Thanks, Nico, if we need you, I’ve got your cell number."

  She, Ash, and Kaden went outside, and Kaden settled her in the front seat then climbed into the driver's seat. Following Ash, Kaden drove quickly to her and Steven's house and she raced inside. George went crazy when the two men walked in. He loved playing with them but soon settled when Ash told him to sit and when they patted him. Ash told Avril he would find Anna and Greg to let them know what had happened and reassure them everything was being done to find Steven. Avril changed into a pair of jeans and shirt, grabbed a jacket and went to the two men. All the while she kept chanting under her breath, “He's going to be okay. They'll find him okay.”

  The drive to the offices where Steven's charter service was located was done in silence. Avril could find no words, her mind in turmoil. Instead she sat twisting her fingers or wringing her hands together. They drove in through the open airport gates and across the edge of the tarmac.

  Bray's Charters’ offices were all lit up. Every office’s lights shone brightly through the darkness. Kaden helped her out of the car, and the three walked up to the main office. It seemed to be filled to overflowing with people. Fortunately, they all knew them and they were ushered into a smaller but no less crowded office. Ash and Kaden shook hands with the tall, sandy-haired man about forty-five whom Avril had met plenty of times before—the office manager, Warren.

  "Any news, Warren?"

  "Nothing, Ash. Avril, are you okay?"

  She could only stare blankly at him as he took her hands. "Avril, Steven's a great pilot, the very best, and Allan Foster knows what he's doing. If anyone can make it it's those two. Come, sit down."

  He led her through the forest of people and sat her on a hard, wooden folding chair.

  Ash looked worried as he asked, "What's happening, Warren?"

  "They’ve had to call off the search tonight. It's too dark, and there's rain over the mountains. The search’ll resume at first light."

  "Do you have any idea what happened yet?"

  "Not really. Allan was clocking up his last hours on one of our big Learjets so he could get his license upgraded. Allan was piloting it when Steven called in the Mayday, said they'd had multiple bird strikes, and then the radio went dead."

  "Were you able to pinpoint the area where they may have gone down?"

  "Western edge we think. They were heading back here when it happened. They may have veered off course. We honestly don't know. That area's not the easiest to search. It’s pretty rugged. All we can do is hope they spot wreckage from the air."

  Someone fought their way into the room with a tray filled with coffee. Kaden put a cup in her hand, and she sipped it absently. She finally peered around. Someone was standing in front of a huge map of the area, and there were pin flags on it. He was pointing them out to someone and saying they showed the route before contact was lost. Another person was yelling at someone down a phone, shouting that he didn't give a fuck if he woke up the entire neighborhood, he wanted someone called Edward to call him immediately.

  Avril glanced at the half-empty paper cup in her hand and saw how badly her hands were shaking. She wanted to curl up into a ball and howl. This was a nightmare. She needed to wake up and find Steven was beside her in bed. Somehow, she was hanging it all together, but if she lost it now she doubted she would ever be able to stop crying.

  The night seemed to really drag by. People came and went. Most she'd met when Steven had taken her flying or into the offices. They all came and spoke with her, trying to reassure her Steven and Allan were capable pilots, but she could see the truth in their eyes—they weren't at all confident the men had survived. She thanked them, drank more coffee, and waited. She heard Kaden talking to Jake on his phone, filling him in on what they knew and promising to keep him in the loop. Jake was still away on some large
project, and she'd only seen him a couple of times recently when he'd flown back for a few breaks.

  Time dragged on, and still she waited until she felt the atmosphere change and glanced at a large wall clock. Almost sunrise. People tensed as the day began to lighten. A phone rang, and Warren answered it wearily.

  “Yes. No, we sent them home to sleep.”

  “You want four helicopters and a couple of light planes, easy done.”

  “What? Yes, we will."

  He hung up.

  "Okay search is starting again. Hey, Greg!" Another man who'd been walking the office passed came in. "Greg, can you get the planes and the choppers in the air? Search and Rescue are about to go aloft, and I said we'd coordinate our people from their base. Is Dave Brown in yet to fly one of the choppers? He'll be our squad leader."

  "Yeah, he's doing the final checks at the moment and should be in the air in five. We've got four small planes all fueled up ready, and the pilots have all arrived."

  "Thanks, keep me in the loop please. Make sure all the pilots know to speak with Search and Rescue to get their search areas and then they should coordinate with Dave."

  "Sure, boss."

  Ash came over to where she sat. Her butt was numb from the wooden chair, and she wriggled to get comfortable.

  "Avril, how about I take you home to get a few hours’ sleep?"

  "No. No, I'm not leaving, Ash!" She searched his face and pleaded, "Ash, I just can't."

  He nodded and, touching her shoulder, gave it a squeeze before leaving the room. Time alternately sped up, then slowed down. At times she thought the clock had stopped, and other times she couldn't believe how fast it went. Around eleven Ash came back into the room. He was followed by Pierre Laurent, the chef from Silk Rope, who held a large tray covered in sandwiches. Ash himself had another tray with yet more coffee. After handing out coffee, he took one of the sandwiches from Pierre's tray and gave it to her.

  "You need to eat, Avril. Take this."

  "I'm not hungry."

  "Please. You know very well Steven would yell at me if I didn't take care of you."

  She shot him a look. His eyes tried to smile as she nodded and took the proffered food. "You know I don't believe you."

  "You should. Where you're concerned that man is all protective."

  Her eyes filled with tears, and she almost caved in completely. Somehow, she managed to pull back her tears and fear.

  "Oh, I know you're right."

  She unwrapped the sandwich—bacon and egg, still warm—and bit into it reluctantly. But as soon as the first mouthful hit her stomach she realized she was hungry and ate the rest. Her head throbbed, and she thought she'd overdosed on caffeine but still they waited. Each time a phone rang everyone would appear extra tense, holding their breath until whoever answered shook their head. Then people would go back to pacing, staring into nothing, watching the clock, drinking coffee—anything to keep going.

  At times Avril felt like screaming. A few times she got up and walked around, went to the loo, stepped outside, and still they all waited. Her boss rang, and she merely said curtly she wouldn't be in and had no idea when she would.

  "I'm sorry, but something personal's happened. I'll ring next week. I have no idea when I'll be in."

  She knew she should have told him more, but at that moment irrationally all she could think of was Steven might try to call and she wanted the phone free.

  Three-ten. The phone on Warren's desk rang, and once again everyone stared at it as he answered.

  "Hello? … They have? … What about—oh, okay. … Yes, thanks."

  He hung up. His face had paled, and everyone stared at him expectantly.

  "One of the search planes has spotted wreckage."

  Avril's heart dropped then pounded so loudly she was sure everyone could hear it. Her mouth went dry, and she had trouble breathing as he went on.

  "Copters are going to the area now. It's in the Central Ferry State Wildlife Recreation Area."

  Someone quickly went to the map and held a finger over it, tracing the area.

  "That's way off their flight plan! It’s as if they’d doubled back.”

  Warren nodded as someone else asked the question they'd all been wanting to but were too scared to.

  "Any signs of life?"

  "No, the plane appears to be pretty banged up. There's one wing torn off, wreckage everywhere."

  Avril could tell by the sound of his voice that this was the expected outcome—people rarely walk away from plane crashes.

  Is it possible to die of a broken heart?

  Avril bit down hard on her bottom lip. Warren and Ash stared at her, their faces filled with anguish and pity. Avril could easily see they were sure Steven and the other man were dead. She couldn't stand it, couldn't bear their looks of pity and sorrow. Leaping to her feet, she roughly pushed her way through the offices to the outside. It was as if she couldn't breathe, no matter how hard she tried. The air felt heavy, thick, pressing down hard on her oppressively. Mouth open, she bent forward gasping, swaying, and trying hard to get air into her lungs. Light-headed, she felt arms come around her, holding her.

  "Breathe, Avril. Come on, take a breath, baby."

  She shook her head. She wanted to scream, but nothing would come out and nothing would go in. She was dizzy and would have fallen had Ash not held her. Then she gave a huge gasp. It sounded as if she were choking on the air that she at last drew noisily into her lungs.

  "That's it. Breathe again."

  She drew in gasp after noisy gasp until she could finally stand upright. Ash turned her in his arms and pushed her head against his shoulder as she finally allowed the sobs to shatter her body. He held her upright as she wailed, her legs definitely not strong enough. Avril couldn't hold back her screams of grief.

  "No, Ash, please no! He can't be dead, he can't be."

  "Hush, baby. Come on, don't give up hope yet."

  She screeched, "But they said there aren't any signs of life."

  "I know, but until they find bodies, I refuse to believe my best friend is dead."

  Avril gazed up at him through her tears. Inside her chest, her heart pounded as if she’d run a marathon. It was as if it were trying to burst through her ribcage. Her lungs burned as if the air she was breathing were on fire.

  "I love him so much it hurts."

  "Of course you do, and he loves you."

  "It hurts, it hurts fucking badly.” She sobbed, “I want to die, too."

  He gave her a tissue and wiped her eyes with another, then wrapped his arms around her again, rocking her gently as if she were an infant.

  "Keep strong, dear one. I know you can. We all can only wait. We simply have to keep hoping, baby. We can’t give up yet."

  Chapter Nineteen

  Suddenly they heard shouting, and Ash turned his head quickly.

  "Come on, let see what's happened."

  Avril was reluctant to go inside, but Ash was holding her still and dragged her indoors. Huge smiles greeted her.

  Did this mean— Was he—

  Warren met them in the crowded room. "They found them. They're both alive!"

  "Alive? Steven's alive?"

  "Yes! Amazingly someone local spotted the wreckage and drove out to check. He rang for the paramedics. Both men have been injured. That was why there were no signs of life. They were already on their way to hospital."

  "You sure? He's alive?"

  "Yes, Avril. Your man is coming home. We don't know how badly injured either of them are at this stage, but they are both definitely alive."

  A fresh round of tears, this time of relief. She could hear Ash and Kaden questioning Warren, but she couldn't understand what they were saying. All she knew was Steven was alive. Finally, she felt Ash squeeze her.

  "Baby, we're going to see them. They've taken Steven and Allan to the hospital in Brewster. Warren's rung the hospital and is flying us there in one of the charter's helicopters. We'll be leaving in about half an ho
ur. Come on."

  "Fly? We're going now?"

  Nothing seemed to make sense. Her mind was still trying to grasp the wonderful news that Steven, and Allan, were alive.

  "Yes. It should only take us a little over an hour and a half."

  Avril was perched once again on the wooden chair. Ash had made her sit then took the seat alongside, holding her hand. Kaden left the room as Avril heard dozens of conversations echoing about her. She tried pinpointing in on Warren's. He was apparently talking to Allan Foster's ex-wife and offering transport. Ash squeezed her hand.

  "Allan's been divorced about ten years but has two children. He and his ex are on good terms. She'll be able to tell the kids what's happened. They live in the city. He doesn't have a partner."

  Warren came over to them and knelt down on his haunches.

  "Allan's ex is going to get the kids from school and tell them. She's going to contact the hospital and then if Allan is still admitted we'll fly them over tomorrow. The helicopter's almost ready to fly, and we've posted the flight plan." Warren gave her knees a squeeze, "You'll see that fiancé of yours very soon. Let's get to the 'copter."

  "I can't think properly."

  "Crazy isn't it," he said with a huge grin.

  Kaden came back into the room and gave her a hug, then shook hands with Ash.

  "Ash, you'll ring me as soon as you see them both? I’ve called Jake and filled him in. If you need us, just yell. I also phoned Stan and Finn. They’ll pass the word along."

  "Thanks, Kade, I'll fill you in once we know their condition. I'll definitely keep in touch as soon as I know what's happening."

  Kaden folded her in his arms and kissed her cheek. Then he thumped Ash on the shoulder before pushing his way out.

  Avril still couldn't comprehend it as she whispered to Ash, "He's really alive?"

  Ash laughed gleefully at her as they ran toward the waiting helicopter. One of the ground crew helped settle her in, and in no time, they were in the air. Avril had always wanted to fly in a helicopter, but she couldn't recall anything of this trip. It was surreal. She kept thinking someone was going to say they'd made a terrible mistake and Steven was dead.