Divided (The United Trilogy Book 2)
Page 15
“I don’t think it could hurt.” Masters replies. Dex is being awfully silent, and it makes me uneasy. I don’t want to put him on the spot, but I have to ask him about his conversation with Samuel once Masters and Malik have left.
So I move on with the topic. “So I need to somehow talk to Samuel or Amira and ask them to contact Ed? How am I going to do that exactly?”
“Well if the vote isn’t split, you will not have to worry about it. If it is split, you will have to ask them if there are any Council members who can come back to vote. Then see what they say. If Amira or Samuel does not bring it up, you will have to find a way to ask. The best way is to have one of them comfort you. I don’t think being upset will be too hard to do, will it?” He asks and I glare at Malik.
“No, Malik. I’m pretty sure if they shoot me down, I can be upset enough to get comforted. Last time I cried, Samuel held me in his lap so getting a hug shouldn’t be a problem.” I don’t mean to go into that much detail, it just comes out, but all three of the men stare at me with wide eyes.
“What?”
“He held you in his lap?!” Dex yells with a little too much force.
“He wasn’t being a pervert or anything; he was just trying to comfort me,” I try to appease him.
“On his lap?” Masters asks, trying to hide a smirk.
“Will you guys knock it off? It was innocent, okay?” I’m slightly annoyed now.
“Well, he is pretty good looking and quite the charmer as well.” Malik says, adding fuel to the fire.
“Really, Malik?” He just smiles at me and says goodnight as he and Masters walk off.
Dex of course is in one of his usual snits now, although this time I take full blame. Why on earth have I let that come out of my mouth?
I scoot over to him and grab his hand. “Hey, don’t be mad at me. It’s not like that. Samuel isn’t my type at all. He’s much too sweet and charming, not to mention old. I prefer my men to be mean and moody.” This earns me a small smile.
He wraps his arms around me. “So you don’t like older men?” he asks, nuzzling my neck. Oh crap, I forget that he is older than me. He can’t be too much older though, probably only two or maybe four years older.
“I didn’t say I didn’t like older men. Just that he’s too old for me,” I correct myself.
“What am I going to do with you, you saucy little thing, if I can’t keep you out of other guys beds and off their laps?”
“Wow. That makes me sound awesome!”
He laughs. “It does, if you are that lucky guy.”
“What did Samuel talk to you about?” His smile fades.
“You, mostly.”
“Me?”
“Yes, but he conveniently forgot to mention the lap incident.” This makes me jump up.
“You didn’t tell him about us, did you?” He pulls my hand until I fall back down next to him. He wraps me in his arms and places a soft kiss to my forehead.
“Calm down. Of course I didn’t say anything about how enchanted I am with you,” he answers with a grin.
“Nice save.” He just laughed at me.
“He wanted to know what I thought about you, and he told me what an amazing President you are, but I already knew that. He also asked how I was, and what I thought about the people here and if I thought the ban should be lifted.”
This has me very intrigued; I hope Dex didn’t blow this opportunity with his surliness. “And? What did you tell him?”
“I told him I liked it here. My life now was much better and I had no desire to go back to the Ministry. But I also said I understood why you wanted the ban lifted and I thought there were plenty of things about the Ministry that needed to be changed, and maybe they should start listening to you and let you do the job they gave you," Dex explains.
“What did he say to that?” I ask him.
“He laughed and said maybe I was right; that Peter and the other older people were afraid of change, but that he tends to agree with you. ‘That one is smart as a whip and has no problem putting us in our place.' He said it like he was proud of you."
“Well good, at least I have one person there who likes me.”
“They all like you, Roz. They are just afraid of change, and they don’t want to mess up what they see as a good thing.”
“Is that all he said?” I can tell that he is still holding back, but I don’t want to push him.
He replies so quietly it is almost a whisper, “He asked if I would ever consider coming back on the Council. Apparently, a few of the members are getting too old and tired and have been waiting until someone is ready so they retire. They have a few possibilities, but nobody that jumps out at them. Apparently, the person who was slotted for Peter’s position after I left didn’t want it. It was the first time a Council position has been turned down. He didn’t say a name, but I got the feeling it might have been Wes.”
“WHAT?! You’ve got to be mistaken!” I exclaim.
“Nope, like I said he didn’t say a name, but he did say it was out of this year’s group and the guy was a total genius, and didn’t get swayed by emotions. They thought he would be perfect for the Council, but the guy told them he’d rather put his mind to use for production purposes, and only after a few years of being useful he would consider it if they still wanted him.”
That does sound like Wes, and it makes perfect sense since he is the only one of us who was never slotted in a position. I didn't find it odd that they let him pick, until now that is. He must not have been able to tell me. Geez, when did our lives get so complicated?
“And what did you tell Samuel?” The way he looks at me breaks my heart. I know he cares for me, I can tell, but not enough to let go of his ghosts. If they don’t pass this and the ban stays, Dex isn’t going to come back, even if they let him he won't. He doesn’t even have to say it. I just know.
“You know I can’t go back there, Roz; there’s too much I left behind. I’m not the same guy who started training to be a Council member; that guy is gone. I told Samuel as much.”
“So if the ban stays and I don’t join the OC, what you’re saying is that we are done before we even get started?”
“Roz, don’t do this. You don’t know what’s going to happen. It sounds promising for them to lift the ban, and if they do that, you can come and visit us.”
“Come visit? For what, Dex? What kind of relationship will that be? I can come see you once a week for a few years and then what? I want a family, I want kids. Tell me how that will work with us living across the country from each other? This is stupid to think that we can make this work.” I stand up and start pacing.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Roz. I don’t have much to give, you know that.”
I nod, because he’s right: I do know that. Asking Dex to change isn’t fair. Asking him to leave the OC is just as bad as him asking me to leave the Zones. I’m not sure what is going to happen, but a future with Dex is looking bleak. I don’t say anything; I just stand and look out at the water.
He comes up and holds me from behind. “You remind me of my mother, of how she was before my father stole her spirit. She was tiny, just like you. Her hair was blonde and she had brown eyes, but you had the same soft spirit, the same love for people. She could be a firecracker too! She used to sing me to sleep every night when I was a boy, like you do now for Grace.” I don’t know what to say. He’s never opened up before, especially about his parents.
“How did she die?” He stiffens behind me.
“Of a broken heart, my father broke her.”
I turn in his arms and hug him. “I’m sorry, Dex.”
He whispers in my ear, “I don’t want to break you, Roz. You are so sweet and so good; I don’t want to change that. As much as I love you, the best thing to do probably is to let you go.”
I start to cry. I know he is right. Even though I want to yell at him that he is full of crap and that he is taking the coward’s way out, I know he isn’t. Hurting me n
ow will be a lot better than waiting and hurting me more later on. I can’t ask him to give me more than he can, and poor Dex just doesn’t have much to give. I nod and take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I have too much to worry about to let this get to me. It doesn’t make any sense to try to plan out our future when we don’t even know what the future holds.
“Can I go see Grace now?” I ask him, changing the subject.
He looks at me like he is unsure of how to read me. I’m guessing he is expecting another outburst or at least for me to come at him and tell him that he is wrong, but he isn’t wrong; he just says what I don’t have the strength to say: we just can’t work. Not now, at least.
“Are you okay?” He looks worried and sad.
“I’m fine; don’t be sad, you are right. We don’t need to figure anything out tonight. I’d like to go spend some time with that sweet angel if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course it is!” He gives me another tight hug and then we make our way towards his place. We pick Grace up at the neighbor’s and go back to his house. I read her a few stories and sing her several songs and lay with her until she falls asleep. Unfortunately, my exhaustion has caught up with me and I soon fall asleep right next to her.
I don’t wake up until the next morning when I feel tiny little hands rubbing my face. I open my eyes to the sweetest little face smiling down at me. “Well, good morning. Did I fall asleep here?” Grace nods and giggles.
“Oops, I didn’t mean to do that. You must be super cuddly, and that made me fall fast asleep.” She giggles again and jumps off her bed and jumps on her brother’s. I hear him groan out loud and he starts tickling her and she turns into a fit of giggles. I am not sure if I should just get up and leave or what. I feel bad for falling asleep, but it is nice to get some extra time with Grace.
“Good morning, Roz.” I look up to find Dex looking at me. His hair is completely disheveled and so long now that he could braid it if he wanted to. He seems happy and amazing first thing in the morning, and it just isn’t fair. I know I must have looked like a total mess. I am always grumpy and my hair is always a huge mess in the morning. I try to smile but I end up throwing myself back on Grace’s bed and groaning. He laughs and the next thing I know, I have one huge and one tiny pairs of hands tickling me.
“Okay, okay, I surrender!” I shout out while trying to get away from their hands.
They stop and I grab Grace into a hug. “I missed you so much; you know that, little mouse?” She cuddles into me and I cherish the moment. I am not sure how many more of these I will get. No matter what happens with Dex and I, I am going to make sure that I do not abandon her. I will find a way to stay in touch, even if I have to talk to her through the gate.
“Well, it’s time for me to get back to the Ministry. I have a fight on my hands!” I try to smile, but I think it comes out more like a grimace.
“Come give me a big hug; I’m not sure when I’ll be able to come see you again. It might be a while, but I’ll keep sending you things, okay?” She hugs me tight and it brings tears to my eyes. Dex can tell that I am sad and I know he doesn’t want Grace to see it.
“Run on outside and see if you can pick a few wild flowers for Roz to take back with her, okay, little mouse?” She nods and runs out the door. As soon as the door shuts, I am in his arms.
“It’s okay, love. Don’t cry; it will be okay. We are going to miss you too, and you are going to go take on the Council. You will be amazing, without a doubt. You know how much you mean to me, right?” I nod into his chest, because I do know.
“Okay then, dry your eyes. Masters is going to think you are a wimp.” That gets a laugh out of me.
I look up into his eyes. I am going to miss those deep brown eyes which are so full of pain. I bring his head down to me and I surprise him by giving him a kiss. It only takes him a second to kiss me back. Sometimes words aren’t enough; we both know the pain and regret the other feels. This is the best good-bye we can give to each other. Dex kisses my forehead one last time. Grace gives me a handful of wild flowers and I give her one more hug before I find Masters. I see Zara on my way back to the gate and I give her a huge hug as well. She tells me how much she has missed me and how proud she is for all of the good things I am doing.
Masters doesn’t say anything to me on the train ride back. I know he can tell that I have been crying, and I assume he knows why, but thank God he doesn’t ask so I don’t have to tell. We go straight to my house. He tells me that he will wait while I change and shower. Since Wes and Molly are already at work, I offer him to use Wes’s shower so he can clean up as well. Once we are both fresh again, I grab chocolate milk and toss a muffin to Masters.
“Are you ready?” I ask him.
“Are you?” he asks me back.
“Nope, but let’s go anyway.” I am surprised to see him smile. We walk in silence all the way to the Ministry until we reach the doors.
Before we go through, Masters grabs my hand and gives it a little squeeze. "I’m going to hang around here for a while. I want you to message me the moment you finish, alright? I don’t want to have to come looking for you.” What a tough teddy bear. I throw my arms around him and hug him tight. He hugs me back and then says, “You got this, Roz. Just remember to have confidence, understand?”
We walk side by side silently. Masters accompanies me all the way to Aspen’s office, and then nods and waits until I am at the Council room. I take a deep breath and scan myself in. I decided on the way here that instead of taking the offensive like I did last time, I am going to let them lead. I'm hoping that they have thought long and hard and that they are going to please me with their insight. One can hope anyway.
Chapter Eleven
I walk into the room and everyone is looking at me. Things are more strained now since my first few visits and that’s really too bad, but that can’t be helped. Annabelle gives me a big smile as well as most of the others. Peter and Seamus seem to be a bit guarded but that is not new.
“Have a seat, Roz. It’s nice to have you back.” Annabelle seems genuinely happy to see me again. I give her a small smile.
“Thank you. It went much longer than expected, but it was such an eye-opening experience; I’m very glad I was able to go.” I tell her.
Patience smiles at me. “What you are doing is so wonderful, Roz, and we are so proud of you. I just wish I could have seen that little boy’s face when he saw the monkeys.”
I smile at her. “You can. I took a lot of pictures; I will send you some.”
“Thank you. I’d love that.”
“Have you gotten the logistics started on the new program? It seems like an awfully big under taking,” Clarisse asks. I can’t tell if she is being skeptical or just being herself. I always have a hard time reading her.
“Yes, Molly has been working on them for a while now, and George has hand-picked someone to take over the new program itself, but you are right, it is a very big undertaking. Nevertheless, it’s one I think that will be very worth it in the end.”
“Of course it will be.” Samuel says, throwing me a wink.
“Now that you are here, I’m sure you are anxious to get down to it just like we are." Can’t help but love Samuel. He is all fun and games, but he’s not shy to jump right in to the nitty-gritty.
“Please.” I tell him.
“Okay then, we all thought long and hard about what you said the last time you were here. You had some very valid points, Roz, and we wanted you to know that we heard you. We do understand now where you are coming from. I also took a tour of the OC compound and you were right there too. I was very impressed with how they ran things, and the people as a whole seemed very peaceful.” I take a deep breath. Everything he is saying so far sounds good, but there has to be a “but” in there somewhere.
“After I took the tour, we all sat down and hashed it all out again. Even though your points were valid, some other valid points were also presented, but we would like to hear first o
f what your plan would be if we did lift the ban. Maybe it would answer some of our questions and we could get down to it. So what is your exact plan of action for moving forward, Roz?”
Here it is: the make it or break it point. I know that whatever is going to happen will be hinged on what I say next.
“After seeing how they have lived and worked, you can see why I think they are such a unified and awe-inspiring community, right?” Samuel nods.
“Well I thought about it, and I guess the reason why they are so unified is because they have a special trust amongst them. They don’t have cameras or sentries or anything in the compound. They have to trust each other to stay peaceful for the good of the community. They are a very selfless people by nature too. I understand that not all people are that way and that some people need the monitoring and the policing to keep them on the straight path, but because people are different, I don’t think they all fit in one set of rules. I know what I’m proposing seems odd but please think it over before you turn it down immediately." I make sure I pause and make eye contact with everyone.
"Many of the people in the OC are there to get away from the Ministry. It’s not the rules that they don’t like; it’s being monitored and being told what to do with their lives that has chased them away. That kind of pressure can get to be too much for some people. They like the freedom that comes with the OC; however, I don’t like that they are vulnerable and without our protection. What happens if one of them needs major medical treatment? They have a community doctor and surgeon, but what if it’s not enough? They need to have access to some of our benefits, and with the ban, that is impossible. We need to embrace them and show them that we embrace their differences and respect their choices. We are one country and we need to act like it. What I propose is to lift the ban and unlock the gate, or at least give them a way to control the passwords for who comes in and out. Give them access to the Zones and help when they need it. Most of them won’t take it or use it, but it’s the show of faith on our part that is so essential.
"I also have a problem with the monitoring that goes on at the Ministry. I understand that everyone is better protected this way, but it is a huge invasion of privacy. I knew that we were being watched somewhat, but I had no clue until I toured the Career department. I felt so invaded and like I was doing something wrong. Before you get upset, I understand why it had to happen, but I want to discontinue the in depth nature of the monitoring. I don’t ever want any of my citizens to feel how I did, tricked and lied to. I want there to be a very public announcement that they are being monitored for their safety and well-being. I want them to be given a clear option on where they want to live. They can choose to be monitored by the Ministry and continue to get the benefits of living in the monitored areas, or they can go to the free community which I will change the name immediately from Outcasts, by the way. They can go to the free communities where they aren’t being monitored or have a job chosen for them, but the work is harder and longer and they will not have the luxuries of the monitored areas. Obviously, the Zones will have to be broken up a bit to give area to more compounds. I don’t want you to think of this as breaking up the Ministry, but just having different ways of life in a unified country."