by J. Lea
“It’s okay, at least someone had fun,” I wink at her.
“What about you and Jake? I can imagine him all sweaty, crawling toward you on all fours, like a predator waiting on its prey. I bet his tongue does wonders…”
“Sophie!” I stop her before I flush red, too, since everything she said is basically true. “You’re talking about my boyfriend,” I say, laughing. I should’ve been mad at her for having such naughty thoughts about Jake, but I’m not. I know she only has eyes for Matt.
“What?” She pretends to be shocked. “I can’t help it—you’re dating a god.” We break out in laughter.
“Fine, fine,” I admit. “He gets all five stars in this category.”
“I knew there was more about this guy than just good looks!” We start giggling like schoolgirls again, and Sophie turns serious. “Oh, Ella, I missed you. It seems as if it’s been ages since we’ve talked like that. I miss this.”
“I know,” I nod. “I feel the same. But I promise you we’ll make up for all the lost time. I miss my best friend.”
“Me too. With all the commotion concerning the wedding, I really didn’t have time to hang out with you a lot.”
“It’s not just your fault—I spent my whole time focusing on Jake and work. You know how it is. We both could’ve made a better effort.”
“Well, from now on we have to take at least one day a week to spend it together, no excuses. Deal?”
“Deal.”
In the middle of the night, the bed sinking on the other side awakes me. A big hand touches my hip, a warm body presses against my back. I snuggle up to Jake, contented. His breath tickles my neck, followed by a soft kiss. For a second, I think I’m dreaming, but when I open my eyes, I see Jake’s face, illuminated by the moon.
“Hey, babe. I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispers, a smile on his face.
“It’s okay,” I say, drowsily. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too. Go back to sleep now.” I close my eyes, and a few moments later, I feel his lips, pressing light kisses on my neck. I smile to myself.
“Didn’t you tell me to go back to sleep?”
“I know, I know, but you’re so...ahh, I can’t resist you.” I shift in bed to face him, and I place a hand on his cheek. He looks even more desirable in the dark, his eyes shining brightly, and the piercing in his brow moves up with the motion of his eyebrow lifting. “What?” he asks when I keep staring at him.
“Nothing. I was just wondering how I got so lucky. A year ago, I was just a sad, broken girl who fought off anyone who wanted to come close to her so she wouldn’t get hurt again, and now I’m lying in bed with the most wonderful man in the world, and he’s all mine. I don’t know. It all feels so unreal.”
“Babe, trust me, it’s real. I can show you how very real it is.” Jake turns me over onto my back, and climbs on top of me. His cock, impossibly hard, presses against my belly, and he starts trailing kisses down my chin to my neck.
“Jake,” I punch him in the shoulder. “Here I am pouring out my feelings for you, and all you think about is sex,” I pout, pretending to be mad, even though I’m everything but. The moment he pressed his steel erection against me, I was overwhelmed by desire.
“Can’t help myself. I am a man; you know how our brain is wired. And in this moment, my brain is sending me signals that I should sink into you, and make you scream my name.”
“I doubt it’s your brain sending you those signals,” I roll my eyes, smiling up at him.
“Ah, brain, cock…doesn’t matter. Shut up, woman, and kiss me,” he playfully nips at my lower lip, drawing a moan out of me. His tongue slides in my mouth, dances with my tongue, and then I see fireworks.
The next morning, I wake up sated and exhausted, the sunrays tickling my face because I forgot to pull down the blinds before I went to bed. I stretch my arms, with a wide, satisfied grin on my face, and turn around to give Jake a kiss, but I’m met with a cold, empty Jake’s side of the bed. Rising on my elbow, I rub my eyes with the other hand. I glance at the clock on the wall—past ten already. I slowly rise from the bed, wrap a sheet around my body, and walk down the cold steps to the ground floor. I know exactly where I’ll find him. I push open the door to his home gym. Loud, upbeat music plays in the room, and I find him in the corner, running on the treadmill, all sweaty and gorgeous. Sophie is right; he is a god. My lips curl up in a smile, and I notice Jake staring at me from across the room. He turns off the treadmill, jumps off, and takes a gulp of the water. A drop of water is dribbling down his chin. I lick my lips as I see him walking toward me.
“Damn, you look beautiful,” he breaths, brushing my hair behind my back. His thumb runs across my lower lip, and I kiss the tip of his finger. “Absolutely stunning,” he adds. His words never cease to make my knees turn to jelly.
“Do you want me to whip something up for breakfast? You must be starving,” I ask him.
“Sounds great. Let me just grab a quick shower, okay?”
I nod. I take this time to change into my panties, and Jake’s T-shirt that reaches halfway to my knees. I stick my head in the fridge to see what to make for breakfast. I make coffee, and slice some bread. I’m whistling to Rihanna’s latest hit while waiting for Jake to join me. I’m sitting at the table, putting a spoonful of cereal in my mouth, when I hear Jake’s angry voice coming from behind me.
“What is this?! You’re pregnant?!” He storms into the kitchen, and throws a used pregnancy test on the table. Wrinkling my forehead, I turn to face him.
“Where did you find this?!” I exclaim in surprise. Jake shakes his head, and runs a hand through his hair.
“Were you even planning on telling me? I had to find this fucking test in the trash by accident?” His words make me jump. Confused, I look from him to the test on the table, and back to him, his face twisted in rage.
“Jake, calm down,” I stand up and approach him. My hand goes to his chest to calm him down and explain the situation, but he pushes it away. “Don’t touch me,” he says carefully, but his words cut in my heart.
“Jake, stop acting like that. Will you let me explain?”
“What? You’ll embellish the story, like Liz? I told you I. Can’t. Have. Children!” he snarls, his face coming closer to mine with every word, and then he spins around in anger. My blood starts boiling. Okay, I understand he was hurt in the past, but I thought we had something special, and now he won’t even let me speak. “Fuck, all you women are the same. Was it worth it? Did he make you feel good?” Daggers are shooting out of his eyes. I’ve had enough. I step in front of him, and slap him hard.
“How dare you?” Clenching my hands into fists, I’m barely refraining myself from slapping him again. His gaze is cold, yet his eyes are burning into me like he wants to set me on fire. He steps so close to me we’re almost touching, shoves his hand between my legs, and leans into my ear.
“Did he make you scream like I can? Did you melt in his arms?”
His cruel words are breaking my heart. I don’t recognize the person standing in front of me. This isn’t the Jake I know. Tears spill down my cheeks and I’m shaking, but anger takes over. I raise my hand again to smack him in the face again, but he grabs my wrist and stops me. I rip my hand out of his grasp.
“You’re a jerk, you know. If you really think so little of me that I’d cheat on you with the first guy that walks past me, you’re wrong. And I’m also wrong—you obviously don’t know me at all.” I rush out of the kitchen, grabbing my car keys and my purse. I don’t care if I’m half naked; I can’t stand being near him right now. I grab the handle of the front door, and instinctively, I turn my head around. Jake is standing ten feet away, looking totally crushed and regretful, but I don’t give a damn. I look him straight in the eyes, open the door wide, and say, “Just so you know, it was Sophie’s test, not mine,” and run out the door toward my car, my head low. Tears are streaming down my face, and as soon as I climb into the car, I put on my sunglasses. Thos
e leeches of paparazzi are always lurking around the property, and I don’t want to give them material for a new sensational story. The iron gate opens, and as I glance into my rearview mirror, I see Jake running after me—to apologize, no doubt—but he’s gone too far this time. How dare he? I turn on the main road, and drive around aimlessly. How could he throw me in the same category as Liz? I would never cheat on him; I could never betray him like that, not after the hell Liz put him through. And even though I’m incredibly pissed at him, I still love Jake. The phone in my purse rings for the fifth time already, but I don’t bother checking the caller I.D. I know it’s Jake.
Jake
There are few more beautiful sights in the world than seeing your woman, wrapped only in a sheet. She looks like a Greek goddess, her hair disheveled from sleep. I can’t tear my gaze away from her. Stopping the treadmill, I stride purposely toward her.
“Damn, you look beautiful,” I tell her, brushing her hair to the side and running my finger over her pink, swollen lips, and she kisses my finger. “Absolutely stunning.” And I mean every word of it. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever set my eyes on, and I have her all to myself.
“Do you want me to whip something up for breakfast? You must be starving.” She smiles her angelic smile at me.
I tell her I need a shower first, and then I’ll join her in the kitchen. I grab a towel, and wipe the sweat off of my forehead and shoulders. While I’m walking toward the bathroom, I stop in the living room for a second, watching Ella through the open kitchen door, as she’s inspecting the contents of the fridge. She’s wearing only one of my T-shirts, and sexy black panties. I try really hard not to walk over there, and fuck her on the kitchen table. But I’ve exhausted her enough last night, she needs to eat something first to replenish her energy, so I can devour her later. After a quick shower, I decide I need to shave, so I grab the shaving cream. I drop the lid by accident, and so I bend down to retrieve it. It takes me a while to find it under the sink, next to the trash. Just as I reach my hand to pick it up, a white stick in the trash bin attracts my attention. The same stick that ruined my life once before. What the hell? I pick it up, and stare at it incredulously for a while. I can’t believe my own eyes. Would she really do this to me? No. This can’t be happening again. My blood is starting to boil, so I storm into the kitchen with the pregnancy test in my hand where Ella is having breakfast. I don’t beat around the bush.
“What is this?! You’re pregnant?!” I throw the test on the table. Ella’s eyes widen in surprise, and she is staring at me in confusion.
“Where did you find this?”
Disappointed, I shake my head and comb through my hair with my hand. “Were you even planning on telling me? I had to find this fucking test in the trash by accident?” I know I’m loud, and my voice is harsh, but I don’t care in this moment. How could she do this to me? She looks at the test, then back at me.
“Jake, calm down,” she begs me, and as she tries to touch me, I don’t let her. I don’t want her hands on me right now. I accuse her of being the same as Liz.
“I told you. I. Can’t. Have. Children! Fuck, all you women are the same. Was it worth it? Did he make you feel good?” I barely get the words out when I feel a sharp, stinging pain on my cheek. What the hell? I put my hand up to where she slapped me.
“How dare you?” Her voice is hurt and angry at the same time. How dare she be hurt when she’s the one who caused us pain?
I step closer to her until I feel her breath on my face. I shove a hand between her thighs, and lean closer to her. “Did he make you scream like I can? Did you melt in his arms?” I know I’m acting like a complete jerk right now, that my words are unnecessarily cruel, but only like this I can mask my pain at her hurtful actions. She angrily tells me I’m wrong about her, and then storms to the door. Why is she angry? It’s probably for the best if she leaves—I need to calm myself down, and figure out what my next step is. Even though she said she would never cheat on me, the pregnancy test doesn’t lie. What do I believe now? Her sad voice pulls me out of my deep thoughts.
“Just so you know, it was Sophie’s test, not mine.” She slams the front door shut, and she’s gone. Her words resound in my head, and I freeze on the spot. I feel like someone sucker-punched me in the stomach, knocking the air out of my lungs.
“What?” I raise my head toward the door, but she’s long gone. Did I hear her correctly? Sophie is pregnant, not her? She didn’t cheat on me? Oh God, what have I just done? As fast as I can, I sprint after her, but her car is already leaving the driveway. I slow down when I realize I won’t be able to catch her, and she won’t stop her car.
“What have I done?” My hands are buried in my hair, and I shake my head. Why did I lose my temper so badly? She tried to explain, and I wouldn’t let her say anything. I couldn’t hear anything over the screaming in my head—pregnant, pregnant, pregnant—as I thought my biggest nightmare came to life once again. I was so hurt I accused her of cheating on me, even though I know deep in my heart she could never do this to me. “What have I done?” I yell as I run to the bedroom to retrieve my cell phone from the nightstand. I dial Ella’s number, but it just keeps ringing, as expected. I wouldn’t want to answer a phone call from an idiot like myself. I try my luck four more times, but she doesn’t pick up, so I leave her a voicemail.
“Ella, baby, I’m so sorry. I was wrong and I apologize. I’m sorry I hurt you. I feel terrible. Please, pick up the phone. I desperately need to talk to you. I’ll do anything to make it up to you if you’d just let me. Can you forgive me? I love you, babe.”
I hang up, shaking, and pray she’ll listen to the voicemail. I plop down on the couch, and flick through the channels restlessly. The whole scene with Ella keeps playing in my head. How the hell did I jump to the worst conclusion first? Perhaps because she’s alone at home for such long stretches of time. I know she’s lonely when I’m on road. She could find someone to satisfy her needs with no problem; someone who is always by her side and spoils her rotten, like she deserves. I see other men eating her up with their eyes. Especially that prick, Brett, who wants to get his hands on her. He told her that plainly, even though she doesn’t notice any of his advances. Or she just ignores them—because she loves me. And I, the idiot extraordinaire, went ahead and fucked things up. How could I be so stupid? So thoughtless? I rub my hand on my neck nervously. “Shit,” I sigh, pacing up and down the room. That’s enough. I’m going to find her, and beg for her forgiveness… on my knees, if necessary. I drive like a maniac to her old apartment. Since she gave me a copy of her keys, I unlock the main door, but when I get to her front door, I knock. I know she’s mad at me, and has every right to be, so I don’t want to just break in. I knock again, and lean my forehead against the door.
“Ella, babe, open the door. Please, let me apologize.” I knock again, but I don’t hear a sound inside. “Ella, are you inside?” No response, so I unlock the door, only to be awaited by an empty apartment. Where could she be? My first guess is Sophie, so I run to the car and dial her number. She answers on the third ring.
“Jake,” she says.
“Is Ella there?”
“So what if she is? Jesus, Jake, you crushed her. What the hell did you do?” I guess Ella didn’t tell her what we fought about.
“It was a misunderstanding. I need to see her. Can I come over?”
“I don’t know if that’s the best idea, Jake. Let her cry in peace, and perhaps tomorrow will be a more appropriate time to talk to her.”
“No!” I exclaim. If she’s crying, I have to make her feel better. I acted like a jerk, and I have to set things right. I have to. “I need to talk to her now!”
“I don’t think she wants to see you or talk to you right now. Just…give her some space. There will be plenty of time to clear things up later.”
“I need to speak with her now, and set things straight!”
“What happened?”
I want to tell her it’s none o
f her business, but it kind of is. And she’s the only person preventing me from seeing Ella. “Damn it, Sophie. I was such a jerk. I found your pregnancy test, and I thought it was hers. I accused her of cheating on me.” I hear her sharp intake of breath.
“Shit, I didn’t even think about that when I threw it in the trash,” she mutters. “But you accusing her of cheating was a really low blow, Jake. She’s not one of those floozies you fucked for fun. She is the person who always stands by your side, and who would never let you down. She talks about you every time we speak, ‘Jake this, Jake that’, and you wouldn’t believe how much she misses you when you’re away at a race somewhere, and how eagerly she waits for you to come back. You’re always on her mind. You really messed up this time, Jake.”
“Sophie, I realize that, and I need to fix my mistake. Please, let me see her.” I stop the car in front of her house, park behind Ella’s car, with Sophie still on the line. Even if she won’t let me see her, I feel better knowing where Ella is. Ugh, why do I keep letting my past play with me? Why can’t I simply move on? I knock on Sophie’s front door, still talking to Sophie. She opens the door with a raised eyebrow.
“I should’ve known it was you.” She shakes her head, and steps to the side so I can enter.
“Thank you,” I nod, my eyes scanning the room. She must notice my inner monologue because she just points to the door on the right. Before I even take a step forward, she grabs my elbow, and points her finger in my face.
“If you ever hurt her again, you’ll have to deal with me. Ever since she’s met you, she is my old Ella again, so for now, I’m still on your side. But she is my best friend, and I’m willing to do anything for her. Fix the mess you made!”
I nod. I walk over to the door, knock gently, and enter the room without waiting. I find her lying on the bed, still wearing my T-shirt that has ridden up to reveal her black panties. Her back is to me, so I don’t know if she’s sleeping or if she just didn’t hear my knock.