CHASE (The Heartbreak Club Book 1)

by Elle Harte

  Now that this had become some kind of conversation, I didn’t hesitate to add more. “But you can hope that someone or something will come,” I said. “Something that creates a place inside your heart that is much deeper and stronger than that hole. It’s the only way to get closure. Finding something you can lose yourself in.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it that way.”

  I tried to smile.

  “I’m glad we had this chat,” he said, and the words were harmless but there was an undercurrent of untapped emotions lurking beneath the surface.

  “I should probably leave now,” I said. “I have some work to finish before I go.”

  “Sure,” he said. “Don’t let me keep you.”

  I had almost gone out the door when I decided I needed to add something. “Thanks,” I said and left before he could say anything else.

  I wanted to tell him how I felt, that it was a great feeling, knowing that someone cared enough to ask me how I was doing. That I could get help if I needed. And somehow, after the talk with Chase, I was no longer distracted.

  Chase

  I was distracted.

  I had been distracted for some time but that talk played with my head even more. It was like every time I talked to her, every moment we spent together was full of some kind of electricity, and I felt it every time she shared a space with me.

  It didn’t matter what I might have been thinking about, or what was worrying me, seeing her changed everything. It was almost as though before her, I had very little to look forward to and someone like me should have things to look forward to, right? So why was I feeling that way? As though despite the fact that we weren’t even together, everything had already changed and I felt like a different person?

  I just wished I had met her before that jerk entered her life.

  He wasn’t bad looking but the vibe he gave out was of a dangerous person. But it was obvious Blayne didn’t think so. Perhaps I should take up the restraining order conversation some other time.

  For all I know, she might want to get back with him.

  The thought was uncomfortable, but I couldn’t help thinking perhaps she still felt something for him. It was not some feeling I got from her, just the fact that I’ve known people who broke up with their partners because they did shitty things, and then went back regardless of what other people told them they should do.

  If that was her, I wished her nothing but the best. It was her life, she had every right to make the decisions that she thought were right for her.

  The fact that the mere thought of it made me want to punch someone in the face, was besides the point.

  Blayne

  You will enjoy good health, you will be surrounded by luxury.

  Nick’s texts changed their tone. In fact, there hadn’t been many texts, just those incessant calls and then, a few minutes ago, that ominous-sounding text. I couldn’t tell if it was a threat, but it sure sounded like it. It didn’t say much, just enough to make me cringe.

  You can’t trust people Blayne.

  He was changing tactics.

  I didn’t have the slightest clue what that was supposed to mean so I decided I would drown everything in wine for the time being while I was sitting alone in our apartment. I needed to get away. I needed to forget that this text existed, that Nick existed, and for once in my life, Chloe came in at the right moment. She was never one to miss a weekend fun night, ever. It was like a ritual to her. But ever since Nick, ever since the whole separation bit in fact, I had been a little uneasy about fun. I wondered constantly if I was ready. So, every week Chloe would go out and I would sit there in that apartment, trying to get done with the week’s workload or watch TV or read, drinking the same wine and eating junk; trying not to think about Nick and failing.

  I didn’t know what scared me. Nick had never actually hurt me. He never even raised a hand on me. He might have been a jerk but he was a jerk with principles. I knew he was just incensed. At times I thought it might be easier just to talk to him, wasn’t that all he wanted? When all else failed, I started praying for him to meet some rebound bimbo so I could get relief. Nick wasn’t quite as persistent as he pretended to be. If he was I wouldn’t have all these complaints now, would I?

  Before I could wallow that night, Chloe dragged me off the couch and pushed me to the bedroom, told me to change so we could hang out at the club where she was meeting her friends. For some reason, I decided to go. I didn’t really care where we were going, so long as we were getting out of the apartment and we were in a place where I could stop thinking so much.

  The club was relatively new but the ambiance was wonderful. Chloe’s friends turned out to be a nice group to hang out with, and even though I didn’t know where she knew them from, and they never met me before, except Jeremy and his girlfriend Anna, we hit it off. It was the first time in ages that I had actually had fun and not been worried I was doing something wrong.

  Then Chloe had to leave me and though she didn’t tell me where she was going, I knew what she was up to. I knew the second she started flirting with a guy sitting on the booth next to ours. The others had to dance and I was in no mood for that, so I went to the bar to get myself another Cosmo when someone touched my shoulder.

  “Can I buy you a drink?” I heard him saying and for the first time in ages I was happy to hear that voice. I put on a smile before I turned to face him.

  Chase.

  Just when I’d forgotten about him, he turned up someplace, out of nowhere. Apparently, that was his thing. I searched for his friends or a sign of Kira, but he was alone.

  “Hi,” I said, still smiling.

  “Hey,” he said in that dreamy voice. Then, when I didn’t respond on account of being under the spell of his eyes, he snapped his fingers to get my attention. “Well, can I?”

  “Can you what?” I’d forgotten everything but him.

  “Buy you that drink?”

  I couldn’t for the life of me remember one more instance in my life where I had grinned so much. “Sure,” I said.

  He smiled. It was hard enough trying to ignore his hotness at work, and he barely came by and hardly ever stuck around and he definitely never stood that close to me.

  “For a minute I thought you were going to refuse,” he said, looking straight into my eyes.

  “For a minute I thought I was going to.”

  He laughed. “Wow, you really do speak your mind.”

  I was a little high from all the booze I’ve managed to get inside me that whole evening so I felt tipsy. But it was fun being that way. It made his presence a lot more exciting. Even after he got the drinks and we were headed toward the booth, after he sat down right next to me, he was still watching me.

  Why does he do that?

  Look at me that way?

  It’s annoying.

  I think.

  “Everything okay at work?” he asked.

  “You bought me a drink so I could discuss work with you?”

  His gaze shifted toward his glass.

  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing—Chase Cooper has a shy side. The more you know.

  “No,” he said. “But I don’t want to scare you off again.”

  “Chase, we work together. Somehow we end up at the same places, like right now, by sheer coincidence. You basically saved me from an embarrassing situation with my ex the other day, and offered to help in any way possible. Just now, you bought me a drink. I don’t see why we can’t be friends.”

  “So, this isn’t awkward?”

  “We passed awkward like twenty-six miles back.”

  He laughed, or did something close to it because Chase was back to being too quiet for actual laughter. “I’m glad you feel that way,” he said and he had that big smile on his face now. “But it’s not like I was trying to be nice to you on purpose you know. It just happened.”

  When I finished the drink, Chase ordered me another one. “If you’re going to keep doing that I should warn you,”
I said. “I plan on drinking a lot tonight.”

  And that was when I felt his gaze on me again. It had surrounded me; felt like it wasn’t just coming from his eyes but from deep within him, all his heart was into that look. “Hope you can hold your liquor,” he said this as if it was some kind of challenge.

  I downed the drink and we got more. The smile never left Chase’s face, and it really started to get to me to be honest, watching him that way, casual and relaxed and just being himself. He was not putting on a show like he normally did, I could see that now. I didn’t know if the show was just a force of habit or he was aware of what he did.

  When I heard a song come on from a band that I loved, we even did some dancing. When I was too tired to do anything, I started looking for Chloe but there was no sign of her. She wasn’t even picking up my calls. So that left me basically all alone with Chase.

  “What’s wrong?” he must have sensed my worry.

  “I can’t seem to reach Chloe,” I said, placing my cell phone back in my purse.

  “Maybe she wants to be alone.”

  “I would appreciate hearing that from her.”

  “Is it like her to disappear like this?”

  “Oh yeah,” I said. “Totally.”

  “So then, it’s nothing to worry about?”

  “I suppose.”

  “Blayne ,” he said. “Can we talk freely?”

  “About what?”

  “Will you tell me what’s bothering you?”

  “Apart from Chloe disappearing into thin air, nothing.”

  “That’s not true.”

  For some reason that made me stare at him. “Chase—”

  “The whole emo-drinking routine,” Chase interrupted me. “What’re you trying to forget?”

  “Nothing,” I said. “Nothing much, I mean. A threatening, dramatic ex-fiancé, fucked up life. The usual.”

  “I don’t suppose I can be of any help?”

  “You already are.”

  “I am?”

  I nodded. “I mean it Chase,” I said. “I kind of needed that.”

  “I haven’t done anything.”

  “There’s no need to be modest,” I said. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

  The expression on his face changed. “What do you mean?”

  “You weren’t here all alone just waiting for me were you?” I said. “I know you probably ditched some lucky blonde…or are you into brunettes? You probably saw me and felt pity. Well, you know what I appreciate that. I do. But I’m fine now, really. You don’t have to babysit me.”

  “Insightful, I must say,” he said. “Have you considered the fact that I might be into redheads?”

  “Is that sarcasm?” I asked. “Because from your face it’s hard to tell.”

  He looked furious now. The employer that frightened everyone was back. I didn’t mean to do anything of the sort, I was just trying to be…damn I don’t know what the hell I was trying to be. All I know is I didn’t want him to feel like I was making him stay, I didn’t want to be the one to ruin his evening, in case he was doing this from mere politeness. Isn’t that what he had told me that night at the rooftop? That he didn’t actually miss me. So did I say something I shouldn’t have? I was so drunk, I couldn’t even remember what I said. I could barely remember what I was saying now, let alone drudge up words I had spoken a few seconds ago. So I just sat there, wondering what I should or shouldn’t say next.

  “Are you angry?” I asked. “I didn’t mean to be disrespectful…”

  Chase glared at me. “You don’t think that I could actually want to be with you?”

  “Why would you want to ruin your night like that?”

  I said and at the same time spilled some of the alcohol on my clothes, and then I uselessly tried to rub the liquid off as though it was going to just go away. Chase took the drink glass from my hand. “I think you should call it a night and head home, don’t you?” he said, getting up to stand. “I’ll give you a ride.”

  “What? No. I’m having fun! I want to stay!”

  Another song that I like came on, but Chase’s gaze wouldn’t let me enjoy it. He placed a hand over mine, leaned in close and spoke in that hushed, yet strangely domineering tone of his. “Whatever it is you’re running away from,” he said. “You think it won’t hurt you here?”

  I was just looking up at him, dumbstruck. The words actually managed to break through my drunken delirium and I realized the futility of all this. I felt the hurt with full force that I was trying to force deep down somewhere. And then, I felt a choking from the tears that had been buried forever, and they were threatening to come out so I got up and started walking with the fastest steps I could manage, until I was outside.

  Breathing in the fresh air did make things better but not by much, and I realized Chase followed me outside but he wasn’t saying anything. I think he was just trying to be there.

  “There must be some place,” I said.

  “Blayne?”

  “There’s got to be one place in this world, right? Where there’s no hurt? Where you don’t feel the things you feel? Where no one can really get to you? Where you’re safe?”

  Chase walked up to me, forced a lock of red hair from my eyes. The gesture was intimate, but there was nothing sexual about it. It just made me realize what a good person he truly was, and I believed it, despite what other people said about him. I knew at that moment that those stories couldn’t possibly be true. “It’s like you said Blayne,” he began. “The only way to get through this is find something that creates a place inside your heart that is much deeper and stronger than that hole.”

  I looked at him. “I’m smart when I’m not drunk, aren’t I?”

  That smile was back on his face again. “Yes you are,” he said. “Now, please. Let’s be smart about this and—” But I could no longer concentrate on his words. His mouth was moving and I saw those lips—I know I’d seen them before but it was the first time I was really noticing them. And I had this strange desire to kiss him…

  Chase

  She almost kissed me.

  I almost kissed her back.

  And then I smelled the alcohol and saw how out of it she was, and realized she might not even remember this when she woke up the next morning. Is that how I wanted our kiss to be? Of course not! I had been dreaming about this forever and now, she was so within reach and I could touch her and yet she was as far from actually being mine as ever before. Call it irony or the cruel hand of fate, but she was actually drunker than she was a minute ago.

  I felt my protective instincts kick in. “You know what,” I said, grabbing hold of her arm. “I think we’ve had enough fun for tonight. How about I drive you home?”

  “Why would you do that?” she said.

  “Because I don’t want you passing out here,” I replied.

  She smiled. “You know what,” she said. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should go home now. Stupid Chloe can kiss my ass!”

  I wanted to laugh but didn’t. We made our way back to the Audi, and I made sure she was safely in her seat before going to the driving side. “So where do you live?” I asked, but never got a reply.

  “Blayne?”

  I tried to bring her back to consciousness but she was out like a light.

  Great.

  I found her phone in her purse but it was locked so it was just a dead end. And I couldn’t find her keys.

  If I took her back to the loft, Kira would have questions and he would have something to hold over to tease me about for all eternity.

  I was out of options.

  So, I did the only thing I could do. Took her back to the hotel.

  Blayne

  Fear is unattractive, show some other emotion.

  If I had to tell you about last night, I wouldn’t say I was drunk exactly.

  No.

  Because out of my freaking mind! would be a much better description.

  I woke up in a bed that I’d never been in befor
e. I couldn’t remember much until I remembered Chase. It was the same room, it was his suite… I didn’t want to think about it.

  What the hell did I do, did I sleep with him? Oh God! I remembered then what happened at the club, looking at him and feeling like I was seeing him for the first time. I remembered being somehow mesmerized by his lips and wanting to kiss them…And then, I looked at myself and I was wearing my own clothes, the same ones I was wearing last night. Does having clothes on mean we didn’t fuck? But I was about to kiss him, wasn’t I?

  Of course that would have been a huge drunken mistake because you couldn’t have a second one night stand with your boss and get away with it! While I was trying to move my head in a way that didn’t hurt, my suddenly-intelligent brain started to think. There were no discarded trousers in the room, no used condom wrapper, and no sign that either of us had shed our clothing at any point. I decided that was a good sign. Before I could think further, Chase came into the room with what looked like a breakfast tray.

  “You passed out before I could ask you anything,” he said. “So I brought you here.”

  “So we didn’t—?”

  “Are you disappointed?” he said, coming to sit on the bed. “Because if you are, I’m sure we can remedy that.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to imply that—” I didn’t have a clue what I was going to say next so I stopped myself from making it worse, “never mind.”

  He handed me coffee. “This should help,” he said. “So will some greasy food.”

  The breakfast looked so good, sitting there in front of me but I just wasn’t sure I could put food into the drunken morning hangover equation.

  “I hope it’s okay that I brought you here,” Chase said. “I couldn’t find Chloe or any of your friends.”

  “Yes,” I said. “Chloe does that sometimes. Hooks up with guys and then forgets I even exist until the walk of shame next morning.”