I am back in the secure confines of business, where I am ultimately in control and could put my frustrations to good use and take my mind off The Bastard.
Broken, but still standing.
Hollow, but still breathing.
*****
I spend the next two hours catching up with Jackie about our clients - going through messages, e-mails and arranging appointments. Colin was on a site visit with an existing client to decorate their new extension and Jackie has been busy working her magic with a marketing e-shot, designed for us by Abby, earlier in the month. My superstar assistant had really done her work, trawling through our database and cherry picking our target audience, for both *B2B and *B2C clients. You could cleverly analyse how successful the mailer had been and from the figures she’d flashed in front of me, it had been worth the time and effort – we had several hot new leads to follow and a further three new potential clients.
“Well done, Jack. You’ve done Elysium and me proud, hun.” I watch as she proudly preens under my compliments. “Seriously, I don’t know what I’d have done without you, the past few days.”
“Happy to keep things ticking over, Lucia - honestly. Are you OK?”
I look up at her sharp blue inquisitive eyes and quickly remind myself that whilst lovely, she’s still a member of staff. “Yeah, I’m fine - just had a crappy tummy bug that’s all – couldn’t seem to shift it.” I flounder over the words, hating the fact that it was so easy to lie.
She doesn’t look convinced but thankfully changes the subject. “Well, I’m always here to talk if you need to. Nathan just called by the way. He wanted to tell you he’d meet you at The Ashton in an hour. Hope that’s OK? He’s over-seeing things from here-on out.”
My shoulders relax in relief and I check my watch and chew my lip, nothing like cutting it fine. “Mmm, think I can make it. Are we done here for now?”
“Yep. All done.”
Her cheery infectious smile is warming and I nod, grateful for her efficiency and calming demeanor.
“Fine. If you could confirm with him that I’ll meet him there at 2pm, that would be great.”
“No probs. Oh and these came for you yesterday. I was going to drop them round but thought it best to leave you to recover.”
I watch her retrieve a luxury black velvet box from her desk. The FWC logo, emblazoned across its top and take a deep breath.
WTF?
“Are you OK, Lu?”
I look up into Jackie's concerned eyes. “Yep, I’m fine - thanks for this.
“This is the fifth or is it the sixth one you’ve received now? It’s all very romantic.” Her sigh and ladylike princess spin on her chair would be adorable if I wasn’t so pissed.
“Sixth.”
Why was he sending me more roses? Cock!
“And also these…” she grabs the huge black glass vase on reception console, filled with dozens of white and black calla lilies, the darker version, more deep purple in colour and harsh against the masses of white trumpets. I hadn’t even noticed them as I’d entered. They were bloody gorgeous and very elegant! “They came with this card.”
I slip the card out of the envelope and close my eyes, take a second and open them again to focus on his scrawl; he was nothing if not grand with his gestures.
The Black Calla Lily signifies
Grace, Decadence & Lust,
It’s also known to be given, as a last gift to lovers when they end a relationship;
Let these symbolise your beauty. Don’t let this be the end of everything, Lu. S x
I can’t deal with this now - its all too much - and grabbing the rose box, I lift the lid and prepare myself for the strong, now familiar heady perfume of the deep, almost ruby black rose that rests within silver tissue. The diamanté pin in its head, glints as the sun hits it but all I see is a beautiful coffin; a grave of our relationship. The thick cream card nestles just underneath and looking up at the ceiling I consider whether to read it - can I put myself through more of this torment?
What more can he say?
With a hard lip bite, before diving in, I retrieve it and scan the scripted words.
I should have binned the bloody thing the second I saw it. I can’t be arsed. I grab my bag and say my goodbyes to Jackie before making my way out to meet Nathan for our meeting.
Time to face things head on.
*****
The drive to The Ashton is filled with non-stop calls from the office and clients and I conveniently end the last call confirming my appointment tomorrow at The Gilded Fox, with Carolyn Walters, just as I enter Holdgate Village. Turning into the sweeping driveway, the gravel popping under my tyres like firecrackers, I sigh as I see my phone ringing again. It’s Nathan. I undo my seatbelt and click the hold button promptly. I’d be seeing him in a few minutes, so there was no point answering. I’m still not happy with him, but I know one minute in his amiable company and he’d be forgiven – providing he didn’t speak about his shite of a brother.
Debbie, James Marcell’s efficient PA, meets me in the foyer – she is a great tonic on a grey day; all efficient and perky and ten minutes later, I’ve caught up with her on few key points about progress on the design and building works within the hotel. James is away hunting at present, so I’m unlikely to see him around, which was a shame, as I wanted to thank him for my recent referral.
Who the hell went ‘hunting’ these days anyhow? I could definitely envisage him and Colin, in full dressage, astride a horse. Colin would ride anything, given half a chance.
Heading up to the Honeymoon Suite, the noise from power tools, growing more deafening as I near, I smooth my hands down my tailored crop suit pants. I’d made an effort today – to make myself feel better, I tell myself, but it was hardly site-wear. My Reiss black suit with fitted blazer was always a staple in my wardrobe and I’d paired it with a blush, barely there, silk blouse, huge vintage statement necklace and nude stilettos. My hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and make-up kept simple, with smoky eyes and nude lips; my glasses perched schoolteacher-like on my nose – hopefully they’d help me appear more in control that I am at the moment.
At the imposing and elaborate double doors, I pause, take a breath and enter. The site that hits me is chaotic. Workmen littered the room, calling out orders, moving materials and generally getting busy – that’s what I liked to see. I take a moment to get a feeling for the general state of affairs. Things were certainly starting to come together. I could see past the mess, grime and dust – I’d done it a million times. All I could envisage was the end product; the big picture. It wouldn’t be long before the carpets were going down.
I smile at one of the workers I’d met at the start of the job as he shyly nods at me, his mask in place. Danny was it? I can see two guys struggling with a chunk of heavy and intricate moulding, presumably produced and ready to be slotted into the corner of the immense suite’s ceiling, to fix the gap that currently exists. The fireplace is in and looks beautiful and bloody huge - all matt black and brushed pewter – just what I’d hoped for but the Italian marble fire surround is not there; I make a mental note to clarify its whereabouts. Nathan’s joinery is now in place, along the wall that houses the large Georgian windows and a wall-to-wall seating box rests there, like it had been for decades. But the bed is the piece de résistance. It was everything I’d dreamed of and more and once the fabric and curtains adorned it, the result would be majestic. I look up at the ceiling and can see that the cracks and water damage from earlier years had been repaired and re-plastered and the decorative ornate cornicing all touched up. They really had cracked on the past few days. I loved this part when you could see your baby start to take its first steps. The Silver Construction team, were nothing if not reliable and trustworthy – obviously not traits picked-up from their Boss.
“You came.”
I startle at the sound of a deep resonating voice behind me. I know that voice, would know it anywhere, it cloaks me in a thousand differ
ent emotions all at once - making me tremble deliciously and putting the fear of God in me for my sanity.
Shit!
Oh. My. God. What is he doing here?
I purposely made this appointment with Nathan, so I could avoid him.
My feet are like lead and I can’t turn around. I’m totally unprepared for this - it’s too soon - I can’t see him now. Maybe if I just ignore him he’ll go away? Yeah right. I mentally compose myself, inhale through my nose and out through my mouth, Pilates style, whilst silently counting to three and put both hands in my trouser pockets, to appear hopefully blasé but mainly so that he can’t see them shaking uncontrollably. I then turn to face the man I haven’t seen in eight long drawn-out days.
The man I’m not sure I can ever look at the same again.
“Where’s Nathan?”
The words fall from my lips before I’ve met his eyes. I can’t bring myself to look at him - if I do I’ll break. Deep breaths; deep breaths. Instead I focus on his black Jeffrey West shoes - he always did have good taste.
“He’s on another job. I said I’d cover for him.”
Ahh that voice…
“He only booked this meeting with me an hour ago - what other job?” I add unconvinced, my voice rising in volume by the second and noticing Sebastian’s brows rise in surprise, I tone it down a notch. “Well if he’s not available… suddenly - although I find that hard to swallow - I’ll come back then - to go through the plans, another time.”
I can’t be here anymore. This was just way too difficult.
“Don’t leave.”
Those two simple pleading words anchor me and I close my eyes in angst. I can’t do this, won’t do this. I’m not prepared, not ready - my skin is crying out for his touch, every disloyal body part reacting to his voice, his scent; his heat.
“Please don’t go, Lu,” he sighs.
I look up at this. His voice has changed – seems softer and his gorgeous face implores me to do as he asks. His brown eyes hooded, their colour deepening to dark chocolate, his strong jaw tense and sensual mouth full of promise.
Finally I see him - actually look at him.
I allow myself one quick glimpse. It’s pure torture.
Fuck he looks hot. Dressed in a navy three-piece pinstripe suit, with pale pink shirt and tie. All clean and sexy with such pure masculinity - he looks expensive. I unknowingly lick my lips in appreciation and instantly berate my weakness, straightening my back and presenting, what I hoped was a business-like manner. The fact that his dark assessing bedroom eyes have swirled to liquorice and are watching my every move, perusing every part of my body - is unnerving and beyond irritating. He doesn’t have that right anymore. Shaking my head to frame myself, I mutter.
“I can’t do this. Not now.” I’m not sure ever.
I make a move towards the doorway. Getting over the threshold to safety is my only goal now but his hand grabs my elbow and I spin at the spark emanating from that small physical contact - my arm literally burns at his touch, every nerve ending on fire.
“We need to talk.”
I hear the sarcastic sneer in my voice brewing before it erupts.
Really? That was the card he was going to play? Change the fucking record mate.
With all the strength I have left, I tug forcefully on his grip to break free but his grasp only tightens and looking around I can see workmen beginning to stop and focus upon our odd behaviour. I stop yanking immediately and through gritted teeth I spit out, “Not here!”
He drops his hand immediately and I draw my arm protectively to my chest. All the pent up hurt and betrayal has given way to pure anger and I’m ready to blow.
“Come with me.”
Sebastian is past me and at the doors in a few long strides and holds one open for me, twisting his body to beckon me. I am rooted to the spot and do not move. I just watch him. The utter arrogance of this man, to turn up announced, demanding and unwanted. I watch his mouth, determined but soft, his teeth lightly grazing his bottom lip, as he waits, pondering my every move. His eyes implore me. “Please.”
The polite request is unexpected and as he beckons again with his outstretched hand I nod my acceptance, and take one tentative step after the other towards him, feeling his palm mould to the small of my back, as I pass through. The flinch is a knee-jerk reaction to being touched by someone who hurt me and I sense it has the same painful effect on him, as he drops his hand immediately. Good! He’d got me out of the Suite but after this I couldn’t promise anything.
I follow his retreating form in silence, annoyed as my eyes are transfixed on his broad shoulders and sexy walk, not sure where we are going or why I didn’t just head downstairs, out the entrance and into the safety of my car. Deep down I knew I needed some answers and if now had to be the time, then so be it. I couldn’t take any more flowers, or messages and maybe this would wipe the slate clean for work?
He slows at the end of the corridor, turns a sharp left and removes a card from his inner jacket pocket. It’s only as he inserts it quickly into the control pad, on the door in front of us that I realize we are entering another bedroom. I have a brief flashback to another time, at Scarlet House, as I entered Room 22 with Sebastian waiting on the other side for me. That night was the most incredible night of my life. I can’t go into another hotel room with him.
I all but, laugh. “I’m not going in there with you. No bloody way!”
I can feel panic begin to rise within me. Who did this guy think he was?
“Just for a moment Lu. I need to explain.”
“In a room! With a bed! Only the great Sebastian Silver would need a bed at the ready to explain himself out of a hole.” God I sound bitter.
His face remains impassive and calmly he responds. “I need to explain and I can’t do that in a room full of my employees and I’m not discussing our private life in a corridor or hotel bar.”
Fair point, I rapidly concede to myself, and looking up into his serious black eyes I nod. “You have ten minutes.”
“Thank you.”
God, I’m tense as we enter what is presumably one of the larger Ashton Suites. It was luxurious, if a little dated and I could see this being one of the next on my list of design makeovers. I cross over towards the window and seating area, putting the Queen-sized bed between us for safety and cross my arms in defiance. Memories of that forbidden night, in Room 22, come flooding back to tease me mercilessly - him between my thighs, rubbing strawberries into my pussy, fucking me from behind, whilst we watched ourselves in the huge gilt mirror. Get a grip!
“Well? You’ve manipulated the situation once again, to get me here. I’m here?” I raise a brow in question, determined to stand my ground.
He drops his head and taking a deep breath, rolls his lips. “There was no other way. You wouldn’t answer my calls.”
We stand in silence and I try not to fidget to ease the uncomfortable moment. His eyes are sad as he finally speaks. Upon closer inspection he looks tired and little gaunt. Hopefully that meant he’d slept as little as I had since Sunday morning. Serves him right.
“I never meant to hurt you Lu.”
Fucking Arsehole. Seriously – what does that even mean?
I can’t reply, I’m too angry. The man has a bloody girlfriend, he neglected to inform me of and he’s saying he never meant to hurt me – his best friend.
“Say something? Anything?”
“What do you want me to say, Sebastian? Hmmm? That you broke my heart – that you didn’t fight for us – that I feel stupid – that you played me – that I always knew it would end like this - that I hate you?”
His gaze is hypnotic as he watches me fall apart. My grief, spilling out, I bare myself to him again, emotionally. The last four words make him flinch and I take pleasure in the fact that I’ve finally pierced his cold-cheating heart. Narcissistic prick - Sebastian loved to be loved.
“The list is endless and for you to say we need to talk, for fuck’s sake, that’
s all you’ve ever said and we obviously never did enough of it, or I’d have know you had a secret girlfriend - Ray. Where is the lovely Ray by the way?”
He turns and frustrated runs his hands over his head, taking a deep breath. Facing me again he clearly reprimands, “Don’t be bitchy, Lu it doesn’t suit you. Ray is gone. Ray is not my girlfriend and Ray was never worth mentioning.”
Bastard!
I bite my lip so hard I flinch in pain to stop myself from saying something I’ll regret and cover my face in my hands. It’s whilst I hide behind them, I sense his body next to mine – his scent surrounds me, all lemony, vanilla and musk.
“Please, baby. Let me explain properly. I know I’ve made a complete cock-up of things so far but I’m telling you now, I’m not with anyone.”
My throat tightens at his familiar use of the B word and I can feel my eyes begin to well. Don’t be nice. I’ll cave if you play the Gentleman card.
I want to believe him so badly. This is Sebastian, my best friend. I don’t speak but step backwards until I hit the wall, and slide down it to sit upon the thickly carpeted floor. Then I wait, hoping my deafening silence will encourage him to spill.
Sebastian chooses to take a seat on the edge of the bed in front of me, braces both arms on the mattress, either side of him and regards me closely. With furrowed brows he begins.
“I met Rachel in Dubai a few weeks after we’d landed there, to begin the Jannah Hotel project. She and her cabin crew were staying in the same hotel as us, when they had layovers. We met in the bar one night, got chatting and one thing lead to another.”
My eyes narrow; of course they did Seb. Don’t they always with you.
He continues, despite my obvious contempt. “That’s all it was and as they stayed over in the same hotel, each time they were in Dubai, we kind of became…
“Fuck buddies!” I throw out, finishing his sentence for him, instantly wishing I’d kept silent.
“Actually I was going to say mates who have sex once in a while.” His eyes bore into mine.
The One Addicted (The One Trilogy Book 2) Page 3