“Rather like you and me then?”
He watches me carefully and moistens his lips, his jaw tense. “Don’t compare what you and I have, to this, Lu.”
“Why not? We were monogamous whilst we were together, wasn’t that what you said? – mates who shag.”
The bitterness in my voice is not attractive and I’m fast falling into the black ugly hole of no return. I need to get out of there before I become the jealous bitch that only seems to raise her head where he is concerned. Seb stands to pace, removing his jacket in the process, and laying it on a nearby chair, stopping to face the door.
Oh no, don’t get comfy - Just open it and go. Leave... Please.
But he looks at me, considering my face and adds. “Over the months, we kind of became more mates than anything else. Her crew would mix with my crew and we’d have a laugh and parties – it was something to do after working hard in a foreign country, with fellow Brits. Then her flight schedule changed slightly and I was busy with the finishing touches of the project. We kinda drifted. We really were never a couple, Lu. We just hooked up when we were in the same place.”
He rubs his head again. “She stayed over in Dubai, a week before I came home to the UK and we had a drunken night together – the first in a long-time. It was never my intention to let it get that far, as I didn’t want to lead her on - if I’m honest I’d grown bored of her…”
I raise my eyebrows at this. He grows bored of every woman after a few minutes - me included.
“… but the next morning, she’d gone to the airport early and I awoke to a note, saying, ‘One of these days I’ll have to take you up on your offer’ I didn’t have a clue what she meant, so I just ignored it. We never called each other; I mean she texted me a few times but that was it, so I never heard from her again, until...”
“Sunday.” I conclude for him quietly.
“Sunday,” he repeats with a light smile.
He slides down the bed until his outstretched legs rest daringly close to mine and moves to take my hand in his but I withdraw and watch as his face crumples. “I promise, Lu – when I came home and you and I started things, I was single. I am single.”
I continue to bite my lip. His story is definitely compelling and he could win an Oscar for the way he’d enacted it. God I so want to believe him but why had he let me leave?
“Why didn’t you fight for us that morning?” My voice is a whisper and I swallow hard, desperate to hear his answer but pained that it will devastate me.
“Honestly? I didn’t know what to say. The woman was there, with suitcases, kissing me and calling herself, my girlfriend and all I could see, was you crumbling at my supposed indiscretion and I couldn’t fucking blame you. I deserved to be walked out on.”
“But if you didn’t do it?” I’m aware I don’t sound convinced.
“After the shit with Toni, only the night before - now Ray - I just thought you deserved better. It all happened so fast and your history with Niall, that cheating ex-bastard, I felt lousy - you deserved better than me - you still deserve better than me.”
Now that got my goat. The anger bubbles and threatens to boil over again.
“What the fuck? I do deserve better, but surely it’s up to me to decide that, not you for once? You should have defended me, introduced me, given us a chance. Now it’s too late. Now we’re done!”
He bows his head, with no forthcoming answer, so I brave myself and continue desperate to say the words I’ve felt within me the past few days.
“I thought I had something with you. You were my best-friend, Sebastian – I… loved you.” The emotion is thick and clouding the room, my judgment and hot cloudy liquid fills my vision. Oh God don’t cry girl. “I can’t do this, Sebastian. I thought I could…. it’s over. Well it never really began did it? But thank fuck we never got serious eh?” I make to stand, a single tear trickles down my cheek and in that instant he’s at my side.
“I was your best-friend?” He moves and catches the tear before it reaches my chin and I shiver at his touch. “You loved me?”
“Please don’t…” I moan as I feel his lips at the place where my tear had fallen.
“Let me, Lu… I need to make this right. I can’t be away from you anymore. It’s not right. I can’t function without you near. I’m broken without you… without your touch, your body, our friendship.”
These words still me, they sound foreign on his lips but I understand them completely. It’s exactly how I feel. Looking up into his eyes, I ask the question I’ve pondered on since Sunday. “Where is Ray now?”
“She’s on a plane somewhere - I don’t know and I don’t bloody care!”
“When did she leave?”
“Nathan took her to the airport on Sunday - 15 minutes after you left.”
“She’s gone?”
“She’s gone.” He smiles softly at me - I can see the worry in his eyes.
“Toni did this to us, you know. She’s a total bitch - she played a corker and you did naff all to rectify it!” My bottom lip trembles again, the tears increase and slither over my cheeks.
“I know, baby. CRAP!” he yells into the room in anger scraping his hand crudely across his head in exasperation. “Revenge is sweet – but let ours be so much sweeter – don’t let her break us. What this has made me realise is that this is YOU AND ME. We’re not some fling, some proposition or brief affair – we’re serious, for keeps Little One. The proposition may have got us to open our eyes at last but now we can have it all! I ache for you – need you, want you, like no other before you and I can’t live without you. Don’t shut me out. I’ve been a total dick for not standing up for us. Please give me a second chance? I miss you, I miss what we had.”
“We had nothing, just friendship and a recent proposition for you to service me.”
“You don’t mean that - it was amazing - monumental.”
“We had good sex.” God I sound cold
“Don’t say that. You don’t mean that. It was special.”
“Bullshit! You don’t know what special is – now there’s something you can’t have and of course YOU want it - poor Sebastian is not getting his own way.” My voice is bitter and nasty and I dislike myself more with every word - I thought they would make me feel better, more empowered but I’m fast feeling worse, and cheaper by the second.
“Don’t say that, Lu.” He repeats, his liquorice blacks willing me to retain eye contact with him. My mind is full of his words, but I can’t bring myself to concede. What he’s telling me just isn’t enough. I need more. I need to know he feels the same way I do. I’ve bared my soul, told him I loved him but he’d never repeated the words back to me. But like the mind reader he is, he rectifies that and changes everything with five words - five momentous words. His face crumples, the sheer devastation clear on his beautiful face as he watches me for my reaction.
“I fucking adore you, Lucia.”
I hear my breath hitch, emotion welling in my throat. He’d nearly said it - Surely that means enough?
“I adore you so much. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to make love to and then laugh with. Let me show you, baby.”
What do I do now for fucks sake? This is what I’d wanted wasn’t it? I’d needed to hear him explain things clearly and tell me he’d been going crazy without me? You love him, Lu? Is it really worth putting yourself through all this pain when you know deep-down that your destiny is with this man?
*****
I’m not sure who moves first but in a split-second, my lips are crushed against his. I have to have contact with him; some form of contact, even if it goes against every fibre of my being. The torture of not being able to touch him, when he is so near, is agony. I can taste the salt of my tears on his mouth and feel the desperation between us, and the urgency to connect. He draws me to a standing position and crushes me to his body, wrapping his arms around me so tightly I can barely breathe. I understand his need to be close th
ough, so close that we are nearly joined; so close that his heart beats against mine and I’m not sure whose pulse it is throbbing manically.
“God I’ve missed you, lady.”
I feel his palms on either side of my head and I raise my own hands to his, cupping them as we passionately kiss, tonguing each-other, bashing our lips against one another, lust-filled and desperate, full of bottled-up frustration and eagerness. I rub my core into his erection and groan at the constricting layers between us. Seb understands my annoyance and slides my jacket down over my arms, letting it drop to the floor, then splays his large palms possessively across my back, lightly tracing my spine, through the transparent fabric there.
“See-through silk. Fuck me.”
I wantonly tilt my head back so he can kiss my neck, and view my breasts through the material better and gasp as he licks a wet trail from my collarbone, around the huge statement necklace and up to my chin, before claiming my swollen mouth in his once again. I feel his hands slowly unbuttoning my blouse and assist him by shrugging out of it; the clasp of my bra clicks as it’s released and that follows and his roughened hands skim the side of each breast, before lightly brushing over my razor sharp nipples.
“And I’ve missed these. Mine. Only for me.” He moans, before dipping his head to claim one needy nipple, then other, with his tongue then his mouth, suckling, whilst looking up at me, willing me to hold his gaze and watch him adore my body. The moment is so carnal and incredibly sexy, but I’m too keen to feel him on me, and in me and move to assist him in the removal of his waistcoat, shirt and tie, the sensation of the fabric rubbing against my nipples, is bliss. I sigh, as at last we are both naked from the waist up. His breathing is laboured.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Lu.”
Resting his head against my belly, his arms around my waist and I look down at his familiar handsome face. The passion within his eyes bores through me, begging me to believe him - filled with adoration and just seeing my own feelings reflected there makes my heart constrict with emotion. I melt. I want to believe him so badly but I’m not ready to do that yet. The internal conflict is torture - I want him, desperately. No, I need him. This is Sebastian the friend and man I’ve known for ten years, after all. I have to remind myself of that fact.
My body is disloyal to my mind; delicious fizzles cover my skin, winning out to my over analytical mind and with a split-second decision I choose to encourage his path, watching his pink tongue travel a wet lapping journey along my waistband. As his fingers free my buttons and zip, drawing the trousers over my hips, his tongue continues dipping towards my cream lace thong. His hands grab my backside, pushing me into his face and I arch on a moan, then react, as I feel him push me backwards to sit upon the deep windowsill, one leg hooked over his shoulder for better access and the lace panties as they roll down one leg, stretch to slip over my foot and slip down the other shin - I kick them off with a flick of my turquoise shellac toenails - where they land I don’t care anymore - my desperation to be bare for him is frenzied.
The curtains are still open and as I glance over my shoulder, I can see guests milling below, in the tea garden, whilst two stories up, I’m naked and being feasted upon by the most delicious of men. The moment is indulgent and damn right saucy. I’d like to flip over and have him do me from behind whilst I people watched, my tits bobbing, palms pressed to the window panes, whilst he banged into me hard from behind.
I arch again as I feel his tongue lave over my folds, suckling my lips, labia and delicate surrounding skin before returning full throttle to my most needy part. His mouth sucks upon my pulsating clit before he inserts a finger inside me and lifting my second thigh to wrap around his neck, like the figure eight, I lie backwards, rocking myself into his wet fuckable mouth to meet his firm fuckable finger thrusts and clench automatically as one of those fingers slips down towards my behind, gently massaging my perineum. One swoop up and over my clit, with firmer circular rhythm is my undoing and I shatter around him. My body starved of orgasm for only a week but desperate to be reunited with Mr. Silver’s magic fingers, tongue, cock.
Ahh his cock! I lick my lips in expectation as I feel the cool air hit my pussy, his mouth leaving me. He carefully slides one leg, then the other back to the floor, steadying me there until my legs stop shaking. I’m drawn up into his body and pull back, as he deftly removes the remainder of his clothing - enfolding me into his strength again. His ripped abdomen is hard against my soft curved one, the hairs on his chest creating ripples of pleasures across my nipples, as they lightly scrape across them.
“You’re so beautiful and there’s only you.”
His hands grasp my head, imprisoning me and forcing me to stare into his blackened orbs. God he is sexy - his cock jutting and searching against my stomach. We watch one another, the world passing around our naked forms, the quiet all consuming, the moment magnetic, before losing ourselves in a kiss so full of passion, I feel tears in my eyes and my core clenches, desperate to have him inside me. My lips are bruised, my skin aches to be touched, everywhere - the nagging voice in my head, panics me slightly as I consider fleetingly, ‘should I be doing this?’ but it’s forgotten as I he spins me to face the window.
His arms draw me into his body, lips leaving a wet trail along my shoulder, making me shiver in anticipation as his cock searches at my back. Instinctively, I brace both palms on either side of the floor-length Georgian window in front of us and arch my behind. Seb’s hand anchors my hips and I hear his fumbles with contraception behind me, before the tip of his cock, searches at my moist entrance. His other hand reaches around to cup my breast and elongate my nipple, pinching it hard. I look down into the courtyard below; people are still mingling there, oblivious to what’s occurring a few floors above. They would only need to glance up and they’d have a full frontal of me naked being fucked by Sebastian, tits banging and pussy, in full view – basically my original fantasy. It only turns me on more. I’m angry, at myself, Toni, him, the situation but the more Sebastian claims me, the lighter I begin to feel, and the more forgiving I become.
I need him in me, filling me – fucking me- branding me and he doesn’t disappoint as he thrusts inside me, allowing me to adjust to his size before withdrawing almost entirely, and then forcefully pounding into me again. My body sheathing him tightly in with my juices and his hot breath in my ear, his tongue licks gingerly at my lobe before huskily whispering into it.
“I’m back where I belong and I’m not leaving again in a hurry.”
I push back onto him as he crudely takes me from behind. This isn’t gentle, its angry, passionate and torturous all in one and we both demand it. I feel his body begin to tense and his fingers curl around my pelvis to lock onto my clit, pushing back my folds and forcing my nub out to the air, before flicking a pad back and forth in time to his banging demands. The friction created is fucking amazing and I cry out as I come within seconds, feeling his cock twitch as his semen spurts inside me, in strong spasms, as he strokes my breasts together, kissing my neck at the same time as he groans.
“Fuck …baby… only…you!”
I unhook the tieback and let the curtain swish closed before turning in his arms to face him, then I kiss the side of his jaw, his two-day stubble scratching against my soft cheek, and sigh, inhaling his intoxicating scent. He rapidly swoops in, sliding his tongue inside and draws me into his body further. The heat is there, intensifying with each stroke of his tongue and each suck of our lips; building already. I was right; the burn never seems to dissipate between us – it’s never enough – sweet sexual satisfaction that I don’t ever want to end.
As if he’s read my mind we part and he leads me towards the bathroom. “Let’s freshen up and you and I are back in that bed. That was desperate sex, now I’m going to make love to you… and take my sweet fucking time!”
The control is back in his husky voice but on a level that is sexy and exciting – dominating yet I know that his black bedroom eyes, question my approv
al. Finally he gets it. Demand everything from me - yes - just ask my approval first. I love this side to him; have only seen it a few times and crave more of it. I feel privy to a secret club with virtually no members.
Why couldn’t he always show his emotions like this?
Because he wouldn’t be Sebastian Silver – the man you love like no other. Alpha, authoritative and yes sometimes a frigging arsehole! Because if he was asking you nicely, you’d still be just friends and you’re not sure how you went a decade without jumping him!
We head to the bathroom, unclothed but I’m not aware of my nakedness as I hold his hand, until we hit the en-suite, where I grab a towel and wrap it around me, cocooning me from his virility.
“I’ll just be a minute I need to wee.”
I nip to the loo, whilst he disposes of the condom, tying a knot in it and heading back into the room, to bin it. I can hear him, striding outside.
“You done yet?”
“Mmm hmmm. You can come in now.”
He doesn’t care about my presence as he arrogantly pees into the toilet, and I’m surprised by my reaction to it. Viewing his body in all its finery at this angle, it’s both intimate and manly. Like we’ve stepped forward into the next part of whatever we are? I can’t think about that now - I’m still questioning my decision to be here.
A quick flush and I watch him wash those sexy hands and fill the sink, dousing a small towel in warm water - his muscles ripple across his back, the strength there fluid and graceful, whilst he squeezes out the excess, before kneeling at my feet and placing the towel between my thighs. The warmth is welcome as his eyes hold mine throughout, pouring his emotions into me, so gentle in his touch I can see and sense his feelings for me. He cleanses me before planting a kiss on my belly, rinses the cloth, before washing himself quickly. We catch one another’s eyes in the mirror over the sink, and I lick my lips. He is the most beautiful specimen; all hard ripped and all-man and that behind! I feel the flush creep over my face, embarrassed at my open approval of his body.
The One Addicted (The One Trilogy Book 2) Page 4