Until There Was You

by Stacey Harrison

  'Liam!' Oh what the fuck does she want, it's all her fucking fault. I slam my head against the desk in frustration, wincing at the impact.

  The door to my office swings wide open and my Mother stands in the doorway looking her usual immaculate self.

  'He's in here.' She calls out to god only knows who.

  'Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering your calls? Are you drunk?' She lectures me not even giving me chance to answer her. Nate walks in behind her with pity in his eyes when he takes in my disheveled appearance. I don't need his fucking pity!

  'Well look who came to visit.' I stand up clapping but the room spins so I fall back into my chair. 'My two favourite people, I am honoured.' I slur.

  'Jesus Liam, what the hell happened to you?' Nate asks, acting like he cares. 'Where is Alexis?' Oh finally the real reason he came, didn't take him long.

  'She's gone, gone away from me.' I mumble like a nutter, maybe I am. Maybe losing her will cost me not only my heart, but my fucking sanity.

  'What do you mean she is gone?' My Mother questions.

  'SHE. LEFT. ME!' I bellow at the top of my lungs then take another swig of my cognac.

  'Liam mate, where did she go?' Nate asks.

  'Why do you want her for yourself, as long as you have £500 she is yours.' I laugh bitterly.

  He is about to respond when the news lady steals my attention.

  Breaking news just in, Police are looking for any witnesses to a violent assault that has left a young woman said to be in her late teens to early twenties fighting for her life. Police are also appealing to anybody that may also be able to identify the woman, who is around 5 foot 3 with blonde hair. Due to the nature and viciousness of the attack and injuries sustained by the victim, we cannot give a better description. However we can tell you that she was wearing a white off the shoulder sweater and black jeans and boots, 48 hours ago. Anybody with informa.....'

  The noise fades and the room spins, I don't know how I know but I just do. I know that it is Lexi, My Lexi. Oh God, I sink to the floor in front of the TV. I hadn't realized I even got out of my chair until my knees hit the hard floor. I can hear Nate calling me and my Mother screaming but I can't think straight. I can't think of anything but Lexi, I have to get to Lexi, she needs me.

  'Lexi' I whisper in despair.

  'Liam, please tell me you don't think that poor women is Lexi?' Nate asks me, his tone grave.

  'Hospital Now, Needs Me.' I mutter and somehow he understands, helping me up. I rush out the office, Nate hot on my heels and my Mother behind him.

  'Dem car now!' I snap down the phone.

  'You can't go like that, what if someone see's you Liam. You look ghastly.' My Mother states.

  'Are you fucking serious right now? Lexi, My Lexi, the girl I love could be taking her last breath and you want me to fucking shower and shave in case someone sees me, stupid woman.' I snarl, all traces of my drunken state evaporated as I run to the car.

  When I pull up at the hospital the news lady said she was at I am frantic.

  'Alexis Cross, I need to see her now.' I blurt out to the lady on the reception desk as she taps away.

  'Sorry Sir, we have no one by that name here.' She says politely. She must have. The news said she was here.

  'The girl from the news report, we think it may be my friends girlfriend. Her name is Alexis Cross.' Nate speaks, how is he so calm and collected that I envy him.

  'I know it is.' I mutter darkly.

  'Sir you will have to wait for the Police Officers before you can see her.' She tells us sadly.

  'What? Can you at least tell me how she is please?' I beg as Nate puts his hand on my shoulder.

  'I am so sorry Sir, I am under strict orders not to release any information regarding her.'

  'Oh God no, she is not dead, is she? Please.'

  I turn to Nate and he wraps his arms around me.

  'I should have stopped her man, I let her leave and didn't chase her.'

  'It's not your fault Liam, you can't think like that.'

  'How is this not my fault, I let her leave me. I watched her walk away, I didn't even tell her how I felt.' I cry, for the first time ever I cry into someone else's arms.

  'I am Detective Butler and this is Detective Stark, and you are?' A tall, built man behind me with a sharp buzz cut and a nasty olive green suit says. Stood next to him is a short, plump lady with short black hair and thick purple glasses.

  'Liam Coltan and Nate......Nathaniel Benson.' I shake both their hands and Nate follows suit.

  'We were informed you have some information regarding the young lady in intensive care?' The lady Detective inquires.

  'Is she alive? Please I need to know?' I plead, desperate to know if she is at least alive.

  'Mr Coltan we are asking the questions at this time.' The male Detective states firmly. What the hell is this?

  'So about this information?' He continues.

  'Alexis Cross, my girlfriend is the girl in the damn new report.' I explain as calmly as I can.

  'How can you be sure?' She asks and I almost lose it.

  'I just am okay, the description and the clothes. She left me two days ago, I haven't seen her since. I could be 100% if you would let me see her.' I fume.

  'So she is not exactly your girlfriend anymore then if she left you. Why did she leave you?' She questions with a snotty attitude, I have had enough of this.

  'Nate phone Evans and tell him I need my lawyer ASAP please.' I order as I hand him my phone, these shitty detective are messing with the wrong man.

  'Mr Coltan I don't think there is any need for a lawyer here, we are just having a friendly chat.' The wanker says.

  'No you are treating me like some suspect, when all I truly want is to see my girlfriend.' I snap. 'So if you want to continue this 'friendly chat' arrest me and wait for my lawyer.'

  'That really isn't necessary Sir, we are just doing our jobs.' He retorts. 'Surely if it is indeed Miss Cross you want us to be vigilant, poor girl has been through hell.'

  I am about to reply when Nate returns smiling and a second later Detective Stark's phone rings.

  'Stark...' She answers 'Yes Sir......No Sir.......We didn't know Sir......Yes Sir.......Understood.' She cuts the call, her face is pale as she whispers to her partner.

  'Evans.' Nate and I say at the same time with smug smiles.

  'Mr Coltan, follow us and we will take you to Miss Cross.... You too Mr Benson but you will have to wait outside. Understood?' Stark explains in a much nicer tone, I note.

  My high is short lived when they open the door to the room that Lexi is in. Oh dear god, tears fill my eyes and my breath get caught in my throat. If it wasn't for the birthmark on her upper arm I would never in a million years believe this is My Lexi.

  'Lexi' I whisper. Why, I don't know, she can't hear me, but I feel like I need to try.

  There are so many tubes and machines, half of her head had been shaved revealing a fresh scar puckered as long as my middle finger. Both her eyes are swollen shut and purple, her whole face is the size of a football. Her arms are both in plaster casts with needles coming out of each elbow. Never in my worst nightmares have I seen anything so horrific, who ever did this really wanted to kill her.

  Mike....It has to be that sick fuck I need to tell the Detectives but I can't bare to leave her alone like this.

  'Please come back to me Lex, I need you.' I whisper as tears roll freely down my cheeks, I don't care anymore.

  'Wake up Baby......Please.'

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  Chapter Seventeen

  Lexi

  Three Weeks Later

  God its hurts so bad. So much for heaven, I scoff to myself. My body is so heavy and it hurts to breathe, I am warm though, I wonder where I am? I am so tired now, maybe I should rest a while.

  I am getting so tired of this darkness and the god awful buzzing sound. Why can't I move? If this is
death I feel cheated, I am suppose to feel bliss and peace. I try to remember something, anything but it all starts feeling so heavy again and the buzzing is getting louder. The darkness consumes me again, taking control and I can't fight it. I don't want to fight it.

  '.......here with you so he would and let me tell you Pretty Girl, he bloody stinks.' I know that voice. Pretty Girl, he only ever calls me Pretty Girl. Come on Lexi think. Ha! I remember something, my name is Alexis Anne Cross and I am nearly 19, take that darkness.

  'Pretty Girl you need to wake up now. Liam is falling apart, he misses you so much. We both do, so come on let me see them lovely blue eyes Pretty Girl. Please....'

  NATE! The voice is Nate. Liam? Oh my god Liam, My Liam. I remember everything now, My Mother, Mike, Liam and the dinner. The argument, I said some really cruel things and left him then.......nothing. Where am I? I want to see Liam, I have to tell him how sorry I am. I try to move, I really do but it's so hard and it hurts so bad. The darkness comes for me again but this time I try to fight it, I swear I do but I lose and the blackness takes me.

  I wake again, I don't know if you can call it awake but that's what I am. I can hear the steady beeping of a machine but nothing else. No talking this time, where has Nate gone? Has he left me like everybody else? I wouldn't blame him really, I am used to being alone. I try to open my eyes but they just don't want to no matter how hard I try. My fingers hurt too much to even think about trying to move them, and there is an awful pain shooting down both arms. My head is numb though, I suppose I should be grateful really if the rest of my body is anything to go by.

  What happened to me? Was I in an accident? I feel like I have been chewed up and spat out and then ran over. I just don't remember anything after leaving Liam's house in tears. I feel something soft brush against my fingers and I want so bad to reach out and touch it.

  'Lexi, please wake up. It has been over a week since they said you should and I am scared Lex. I am so sorry for everything I said to you, I never meant a word of it. I never got chance to tell you that I Love You and to see if you said it back. I do Lexi, I Love You so much and I just want you to come back to me. So if you can hear me baby, you fight this because I won't let you leave me again.'

  It's Liam, he is here and he's crying. He Loves me, nobody has ever really loved me yet this amazing man does. I want to tell him I Love him too but my body won't respond. Why can't I move, please let me move. I don't want to be in the dark anymore, I don't want to be alone. I try my eyes again, praying they open but get nothing.

  'Mr Coltan, your Mother is on the phone demanding she speak to you this second?' A soft female voice tells him and he sighs, his breath fanning across my face.

  'I am coming now, thank you.' He replies. He is leaving. No he can't leave me, come on Lexi wake up now. He is leaving you, god damn it.

  My eyes open slowly and everything is blurry but I can see his back as he reaches the door and I can hardly believe I did it. I want to cheer and shout but my jaw hurts so much and my throat is like sandpaper.

  'Lia.....' I croak, please god let him hear me.

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  Chapter Eighteen

  Liam

  'Liam.' I hear a soft croak and I am so sure my mind's playing tricks on me, I turn and look at her and her eyes are still closed. Wishful thinking, I can't count the amount of times I have 'heard' her speak. However I usually wake up, maybe I am that desperate I am hearing her when I am awake.

  I turn to leave, My Mother should know better than to bother me here. I take one last reassuring look at Lexi and I can hardly believe it when her beautiful eyes flutter open. They are still purple but the swelling has gone down considerably, but not completely. They are still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen right now.

  'Lexi.' I gasp in shock, scramble back to her bed. My legs almost giving out. 'Can you hear me?' She doesn't answer but nods and the simple action makes her wince.

  'Don't try and move baby, I will get a nurse.' I rush out the room.

  'Nurse!' I yell down the corridor. 'Nurse!'

  'It's Lexi, she's awake.' I blurt out before she can speak and I run back to Lexi's room. When I get back her eyes are closed again and my heart sinks. I am sure she was awake. I know she was.

  'Miss Cross?' The nurse says and Lexi opens her beautiful eyes again.

  'Hello there.' The nurse smiles brightly at her. 'I am Nurse Sonja, it's a pleasure to finally meet you Alexis. Can you talk?' She asks nicely, I like this nurse. She is an elderly lady with short curly grey hair, standing about 4 foot tall. She is always so nice and cheerful.

  'Drink..' Lexi croaks out and winces. Be brave baby, I chant over and over again in my head. The nurse puts a straw to her lips and she drinks the water as fast as she can earning her a telling off from Nurse Sonja. She checks her vitals and leaves to page the doctor.

  'Hi.' She breaths, her voice still dry from lack of use.

  'Hey you.' I reply smiling brightly at her. She's awake, she is really awake.

  'Lex'

  'Liam' We both speak at the same time and laugh.

  'I have waited for too long to hear your voice babe you go first.'

  'I am sorry, I never should of left like that and I never went back to Mike, he found me somehow. I tried to run I swear I.....' Her voice fades off as I place my finger gently on her swollen lips to silence her completely.

  'Don't waste your breath on him babe, I know you didn't go to him and the Police have him now, he will never get to you again Lexi.' I tell her firmly, needing her to worry about that bastard ever again.

  'Police?' She panics eyes wide. ' Do they know about us? How we met? Did he tell them?'

  'No..' She visibly relaxes. 'I did.' I say honestly, I had to fuck the consequences.

  'Why would you do that to yourself?' I think it was meant to be a shout but it comes out a loud croaky whisper.

  'Because I don't care what people think anymore, I had to tell them so they knew what he is like. It was my image or your safety and to me there is no competition Lexi. Let the papers do their worst, I don't care.' I explain and she smiles a sad smile.

  'I'm sorry I brought all this to you.' She mumbles and starts crying.

  'I'm not!' I demand. 'I Love You, not one thing will ever change that and I should've told you this that night. Maybe you wouldn't have left but I was a coward, I promise if you let me make it up to you, I will never let you down again.'

  She stares at me, eyes wide in shock and I all I want more than anything is for her to say it back. The silence continues and my faith dwindles as she remains still not speaking. This is it, this what rejection feels like. It hurts.

  Liam, I...'

  'Lexi don't, don't say it because I want you to. It's okay really, it is.' I cut her off, I don't think I could stand a rejection speech.

  'Shut up and let me speak, I haven't had my say in god knows how long I was out....'

  'Three and a half weeks.' I interject and she glares at me and then winces so I shut up.

  'I Love You Liam Coltan, I have done since you saved me and you have never let me down EVER!' She says and I fall even more in love with her.

  It has been six days since Lex woke up and the change in her is incredible, I for one can't wait to go home. I have only left a handful of times and been hell on legs until I returned. My Father has been amazing handling the business, even my Mother is trying to be helpful even though I am not quite sure what her motives are yet.

  'Good Morning Baby.' I chirp as I walk into Lexi's room to find her sat eating toast. Her face is nearly back to normal but her wrists and ribs are still in a bad way and her hip was cracked and could need pinning but I keep praying it won't. The scar on her head where they drained the fluid from her brain looks better, it's a lot less angry looking and she has started to push her hair over to hide it.

  'Good Morning.' She smiles a beautiful big smile. 'Guess what?' She asks excited.
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  'What?' I reply caught up in her mood.

  'I walked to the toilet.......myself!' She beams at me and I can't fight my frown.

  'Lexi do you really think you should be doing that babe? I mean well done but you could of had a fall and hurt you hip more.' I say skeptically, feeling bad that I am raining on her parade but I can't help but worry. Nearly losing her once was more than enough.

  'Jeez Liam, it is only ten steps. You are making me sound like an old woman.' She complains and I can't help but laugh at her pout.

  'I can't help that I Love You and don't want you in anymore pain.' I reason but she is no longer looking at me, her shocked face is aimed at the door.

  I follow her gaze and land on a older woman that has the look of Lexi but not half as pretty. She is standing in the doorway staring back at us with a sad look.

  I stand frozen in my place, eyeing the two women. Neither of them speak but the tension in the room, I swear is crackling.

  'Can we help you?' I ask when no one speaks and the silence drags on.

  'Mum.' The words fall from Lexi's lips and I pale.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Chapter Nineteen

  Lexi

  'Mum'

  The woman that looks just like me rushes towards me with tears in her eyes. I stick my hands out in front of me quickly and hurt my ribs and wrist in the process. I wince and Liam notices, he turns into my guard dog and I couldn't be more grateful. What does she want now after all this time?

  'That's close enough.' He orders and she takes a step back.

  'Sorry, you must be Liam Coltan, I have read all about you and your whirlwind romance with my daughter. Anne Hall pleasure to meet you.' She shamelessly gushes at him, fluttering her eyelashes, the lot.

  'You got married?' I butt in before he can answer.

  'Well yes dear, two years ago. I would have invited you, it would have been nice to catch up. But I didn't want to rub it in Mike's face. You can understand that can't you honey?' She says not an ounce of guilt for abandoning me with him.