by Jan Drexler
But it was hopeless. Lovina wouldn’t give up that easily.
* * *
“So Thursday will be good for everyone, then?”
The men all nodded their agreement as John went on. “Bram has seed already.” He looked at Bram to get an affirmation. “So bring your teams and equipment.”
The conversation drifted away from Thursday’s plans to the weather, and when Matthew walked up to him, Bram was ready for some action.
“How about joining the softball game? Those young fellows need to have some friendly competition.”
“I don’t even remember the last time I played.”
“It’s something you don’t forget. Come on.”
He followed Matthew to the pasture, where a group of young men were joining together to make a team. They got some ribbing from the boys on the other team, but it was all in fun.
The boys went up to bat first, and Bram went out to left field. He knew it wouldn’t be a rough game with everyone wearing their best clothes, but at least it would get him moving.
The first two batters hit lazy pop-ups to center field. The center fielder missed, and the boys made it to their bases. The next batter struck out. Yes, it would be a quiet game.
Bram looked over to the house between batters and saw Ellie still sitting with Annie and another woman on the bench. She looked preoccupied and was no longer looking at him. What was she thinking about?
The next batter hit a pop-up to center field again, but this time it was caught. One more out before they switched sides.
Bram glanced at Johnny. The boy was watching him. There was something about Ellie’s children—first the little girl and now this kid. They had a way of looking at him—how could he ever live up to the trust he saw in their eyes? He glanced over at Ellie again, and the warning bells started going off in his head. He shouldn’t get involved.
Just forget it.
The longing look on Johnny’s face decided for him.
“Johnny,” he said, walking over to the fence, “do you want to play left field with me?”
The boy’s face brightened, then fell again. He looked at the ground.
“I don’t know how. Benjamin and Reuben won’t let me. They’ll say I’m too little.”
Benjamin and Reuben? That’s right, Ellie’s brothers. “They’ll have to let you if you’re my partner.”
“Really?” Johnny said, looking at his face for the first time.
“Sure, come on.”
Bram lifted Johnny over the fence and showed him where to stand to wait for the ball.
Johnny turned to Bram as the next batter stepped up to the plate.
“That’s Reuben. He always hits the ball.”
“If he hits it this way, we’ll try to catch it.”
Johnny nodded in response, and then he stood with his hands on his knees and his eyes on the batter, in imitation of Bram.
Reuben let the first two pitches go past him and then swung at the third. The big softball hit the bat with a muffled thunk and flew toward left field.
“Catch it!” Johnny yelled to Bram.
Bram caught the ball on a bounce and passed it to Johnny.
“Throw to second!”
Johnny tossed the ball to the second baseman, who picked it up as it rolled along the ground toward him, then tagged the runner from first out.
Bram gave the boy a smile and nod. “Good job, son.”
The grin on Johnny’s face gave him a start. He didn’t look anything like the forlorn kid who had been leaning on the fence. John was right; the boy just needed a man’s attention, someone closer to his own father’s age.
The afternoon wore on, and more boys Johnny’s age joined in the game with their fathers and older brothers. There were more than a dozen players on each team, but no one minded. All too soon the afternoon ended, and it was time for the families to make their way home.
“I hope your mam isn’t too mad that I let your clothes get dusty.”
Johnny looked down at the dirt on his knees in surprise. Bram did his best to brush it off with his hand, but the boy’s Sunday pants were still stained when he was done.
“Do you think she’ll whip me?”
Bram’s heart stopped at the thought of someone whipping this kid. The unsought memory of a hot, dusty barn and a horsewhip in his father’s hand rose before he could slam the door shut on it again. He couldn’t bear to be the cause of Johnny’s suffering.
“I’ll explain. She’ll have to whip me to get to you.”
Bram looked into the boy’s eyes. They glowed with merriment.
“I’d like to see her try to whip you!”
“Now, Johnny.” Bram’s head snapped up at the sound of Ellie’s voice. “Have I ever whipped anyone?”
Johnny laughed as he caught hold of his mother’s hand. When Ellie’s mock frown softened into a winsome smile, Bram understood. He was being let in on a family joke. Nestled against Ellie’s left hip, even little Danny drooled a gap-toothed grin. What kind of family was this?
“Dawdi has our buggy ready. It’s time to go.”
Ellie spoke to Johnny, but her eyes were on Bram. Her usual guarded expression had disappeared. She looked more relaxed. Calm. Willing to talk.
“Thank you for including him in the game.” Voice soft, she stepped close while Johnny and Susan dashed for the stone drive. Danny reached out to pat Bram’s shoulder, and the baby’s touch soothed the prickled feelings of old, dredged up by Johnny’s teasing words.
“I haven’t seen him have so much fun since...” She stopped and caught her lower lip in her teeth. Why did he think about kissing her right then?
“My brothers forget to include him in what they’re doing. They still think of him as being Danny or Susan’s age, I guess. You made him very happy.”
“It was fun for me, too.” Bram cast about for something to say to keep the conversation going. He didn’t want to break this better mood, this more friendly approach. “He’s a fine boy.”
Goodbyes were exchanged as families sorted themselves into the waiting buggies. Ellie should join her family, but she still stood next to him.
She finally looked at him. “I need to apologize to you.” Her clear blue eyes held his.
“There are no apologies needed.”
“Ja, there are. I...well, I was mistaken about something. I was wrong to be so rude to you.”
Bram pushed further, in spite of the cacophony of warnings in his head.
“Does that mean that you might go riding with me sometime?”
She cast her eyes away from his. “I...I would have to think about it.”
“I’ll be at your place on Tuesday. I’ll ask you then.”
The look she gave him was uncertain, wavering. She nodded a goodbye and then headed to her father’s waiting buggy.
Bram’s heart started to follow, but he stopped it with a frown. Strong and stubborn he could handle. Vulnerable and unsure? A woman like that would grab him and never let go.
Chapter Seven
“Walkin’s for chumps.”
Kavanaugh’s words echoed in Bram’s mind with every step he took toward the Stoltzfus farm on Tuesday morning.
“You’re one of my boys now, and my boys have wheels.” Then Kavanaugh had given him the Studebaker.
Puffs of dust rose each time his foot landed on the edge of the gravel road. Man, he missed that Studebaker.
But he didn’t miss it enough to risk Kavanaugh finding him first. In this game, he needed every advantage he could get, and his biggest advantage was that Kavanaugh had no idea where he was.
A rising blister on his left heel reminded Bram to shorten his stride. He’d bear a thousand blisters before he’d give up that advantage.
&nb
sp; When he reached the crossroads, the trees gave way to a view of John’s white barn and outbuildings, and Bram’s pace quickened. He was only anxious to get his rig so he wouldn’t have to walk anymore, right? He hadn’t given Ellie Miller a thought all morning.
But he scanned the garden and the yards before heading to the barn. She wasn’t anywhere in sight.
Bram found John on the threshing floor, currying the gray gelding he had purchased last week.
“Good morning,” Bram called to him.
John nodded his greeting over the horse’s back. He gave a final stroke with the currycomb and then picked up a brush.
“He’s almost ready for you.” The horse stood quietly while John brushed him.
“There’s no big hurry. I’m not due to pick up the buggy until midafternoon.”
“You’ll eat dinner with us, then?”
Bram hesitated, but the invitation wasn’t really a question. If he was at the farm during the noon meal, he would be expected to eat with the family. It was the Amish way. Would Ellie and her children eat with her parents, or did they eat at the Dawdi Haus?
“I’ll be glad to stay.”
“It’s too bad today is a school day. Johnny will be sorry he missed you. He chattered away about that softball game all the way home on Sunday.”
“It was a lot of fun.” Bram rubbed the back of his neck. Johnny’s trusting face, that gap-toothed grin, had haunted him ever since he watched the Stoltzfus buggy drive away Sunday afternoon. The whole family had wrapped themselves around his heart somehow. “He’s a fine boy.”
John stopped his brushing and leaned his arms on the horse’s back.
“He’s been a sad and moody boy. I’ve been at a loss as to how to make things better for him and haven’t been able to reach him. You did, though. I haven’t seen that boy so lively since his father died.”
Bram didn’t know what to say. He had enjoyed the ball game, too, but he hadn’t expected to enjoy the kid. Things were getting complicated.
The sound of a dinner bell drifted into the barn.
“Dinner’s almost ready.” John gave the horse another pat. “He’ll be fine here until this afternoon.”
As the two men walked to the house, Bram looked toward the Dawdi Haus. Still no sign of Ellie. Just as well. He’d be polite, have dinner and be on his way.
After washing up at the bench outside the back door, Bram followed John into the large kitchen. He took a deep breath. The tantalizing odors drew him in. Potatoes, fried chicken... Bram’s throat was suddenly tight when he saw Ellie pouring peas into a serving dish. He took a deep breath.
A tug on his trousers pulled his gaze down.
“I helped set the table.”
Bram crouched down to Susan’s height. Her brown eyes were shining as she smiled at him.
“Denki, I’m sure your memmi likes the help.”
“I put a fork by your plate.”
Bram stifled the urge to take her in his arms. He satisfied himself with stroking her hair. Funny. He had never liked children before, but this little girl...
“Susan, come sit down.”
Ellie blushed when he caught her eye, and she gave him a brief smile as Elizabeth directed Bram to a seat and the family took their places.
When they bowed their heads for the silent prayer, the ticking clock in the front room was the only sound, propelling him back to his grossdatti’s table. He could almost hear Grossdatti’s voice reading from the Christenpflicht, the book of prayers, after the meal. What would his life have been like if the old man hadn’t died when Bram was so young?
As the prayer ended with a soft “amen” from John, he looked up, directly into Ellie’s blue eyes. Her face reddened as she turned away to help Susan choose a piece of chicken.
“What do you have left to do on your farm before you can move in?” John asked as he passed Bram the bowl of potatoes.
“The house isn’t livable yet. I thought I might be able to use one room, but then I found a family of skunks living under the floor. They put up a fuss when I tried to get them out of there.”
“How did you do it?”
Bram looked around the table. Reuben had asked the question, but everyone was staring at him, including Susan.
“I used a trick I learned from my grossdatti.” Bram’s mind flashed back to the day he had watched the old man trap skunks. He must have been Susan’s age.
“I took a box—the right size, of course. It had to be low enough so the skunk couldn’t lift its tail.” The little girl’s eyes got even bigger. “I put a dead fish in it and waited. Sure enough, right about moonrise, here came a mama skunk and her four babies out from under the house and into the box.”
“What did you do?” Benjamin asked between bites of potatoes.
“I had an old horse blanket that I threw over that box and wrapped it up tight.”
“Didn’t they spray you?”
“Ne. Remember, the mama skunk couldn’t lift her tail.”
“What did you do with them?” Susan’s voice quavered.
Bram hesitated. Susan’s eyes were wide and trustful. He couldn’t tell her he had drowned the entire lot.
“I took them out to the woods.”
Reuben and Benjamin nodded at each other. Ne, he hadn’t fooled them.
“What about their dat?” Susan asked.
“I caught him the next night and took him out to the woods with his family.”
Bram glanced up at Ellie and grinned. The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to keep herself from smiling. She had enjoyed the skunk story.
“Did I hear they had electricity on the Jackson farm?” John asked.
“I didn’t find any electric lines. I don’t think the power company has gotten that far yet. There were telephone lines, but I took those down.” That had been hard. He could think of a hundred reasons to keep a telephone, but there was still one big one to get rid of the lines. No Amish farmer would have them.
He glanced at Ellie again. She caught his look, her blue eyes smiling. He could drown in those eyes if he wasn’t careful.
What had he gotten himself into?
* * *
Ellie took as long as she dared washing up after the noon meal. Bram and Dat were on the front porch, visiting. How long was he going to stay? How long could she stall? But he was waiting to talk to her, to ask her to come see his farm, to go riding with him.
It was tempting. To have such a nice-looking man look at her the way he did—she hadn’t felt that for such a long time. But what if...what if she gave in to him?
Resolve straightened her back like a rod of cold steel. She wouldn’t give in to him. Let him be charming, let him be good for Johnny, let him bring a smile to Susan’s face. He wasn’t going to get to her. She wasn’t going to risk that loss again.
When Danny and Susan began fussing in the next room, she couldn’t put off taking them home any longer. It was past time for their naps. Mam sat with her feet on a stool, taking a much-needed sit-down while she watched the children play in the front room.
“Thank you for dinner, Mam.” She helped the children put the blocks away.
“It was nothing. You did most of the work.” Mam’s voice was relaxed, content. She’d take a rest, too, if it kept her as serene as Mam.
Susan yawned as they walked along the path to the Dawdi Haus, and Danny was already nodding on her shoulder. Ellie kept her face toward her destination. She hated this feeling. She longed to see Bram again, feel his gaze on her and enjoy just being with a man again, but she couldn’t let herself give in to that pleasure. What if she enjoyed it too much? What if she got used to it and then...
Why didn’t he politely ignore her so they could both go about their business?
After seeing Susa
n and Danny to their beds, she wandered back to her kitchen to look out the window.
“What are you looking for?” her whispered voice scolded. As if she would be looking for someone.
Ellie gathered her sewing from the front room. She had a bit of handwork to do on Johnny’s new pants and hated to sit inside on such a beautiful day. The glider under the tree in the side yard was out of sight of the big house and the barn. She always enjoyed this shady, secluded spot where she could lose herself in her thoughts. No one would know she was there.
She threaded her needle and began to finish up the hem of the trousers. It needed to be good and deep, with plenty of room to let it out as Johnny grew.
“This is a nice place to sit.”
Bram’s voice came so suddenly that Ellie jumped.
“I didn’t mean to startle you. I saw you come around this corner of the house, and I wondered where you had gone.”
Ellie didn’t answer. His voice was quiet, almost intimate. She slid over on the seat as he sat down beside her. Her mind was whirling—what could she do now? His weight made the glider rock back as he sat and he let it swing forward again. Could she just tell him to leave her alone without sounding too rude?
He pushed the glider back again with one foot. The motion pulled at her mind to relax, to enjoy the feeling of his strong presence.
“That was a good dinner you made.”
“Denki.” She took another stitch.
Bram kept the glider moving. How long would he sit there if she didn’t help keep the conversation going? Did she really want him to leave? It was one thing to tell herself she didn’t want him around when she was alone in Mam’s kitchen, but it was quite another when he was sitting next to her, smiling at her, as he was when she glanced at him.
“Did I hear you say you’re going to pick up your new buggy this afternoon?”
“Ja, that’s right. I’ll need to leave in a little while to get there on time, but I wanted to talk to you first.”
“Talk to me?” Ellie’s sewing slowed, then stopped.
“To ask you to try out my new buggy with me sometime. I’d like to get to know you better.”
“I...I don’t know....” Ellie could feel her face blushing. She was acting like a girl with her first beau. What was wrong with her? She should just tell him no.