Damned and Desperate (Eternally Yours Book 3)

by Tara West

  I felt like the awkward third wheel, and I scooted farther away. Aedan’s dad sighed as he continued to hold him. For a moment, I wondered if he ever planned on letting go.

  Aedan finally broke the hug. “Sorry. I’ve been busy with work.”

  His dad looked at me with warm blue eyes. “And this lovely angel must be Ashley. Mama tells me you’re a Murphy.”

  My gaze flicked to Aedan, and he actually had the decency to give me an apologetic shrug.

  “Sort of,” I said.

  Aedan’s dad puffed up his chest. “Any descendent of Ben Murphy is a friend of ours. My son was just a lad when sickness took us. He would have been all alone if your granddad hadn’t looked after him after we passed.”

  All alone? Not quite. He’d had his brother, didn’t he? “What about Callum?”

  He scrunched up his brow. “Who?”

  Seriously? He didn’t remember his other son? Aedan cleared his throat and shot me a stern look.

  “What?” I mouthed. Had I said something wrong? Was I not supposed to mention their son?

  Aedan sat next to me, lacing his fingers through mine and giving my hand a hard squeeze. “She was thinking of a friend of mine.”

  Wait? A friend? How had these people forgotten their own son? And why was Aedan playing along and allowing them to wash away memories of Callum? Sorry, but feeding their denial was not only dishonest but a slap to Callum.

  “Oh, no doubt.” His dad gave an affirmative nod as he sat on the sofa opposite mine. “Ben looked after many of the lads in our town. He was a good man, taking in orphaned children, volunteering for the church.”

  Aedan’s mom came in bearing a huge tray with at least twenty slices of cheesecake. “Would you like some dessert?”

  I held up a hand. “No, thanks.”

  What was with these people and the cheesecake? And by the way, I must have gone certifiably crazy to have refused it, but I remembered how Heavenly cheesecake affected me last time I ate it, namely I forgot all my inhibitions and floated around in a daze. But at least it didn’t make me crap my pants. Just another reason why I loved Heaven; I could eat all the gluten I wanted and my anus wouldn’t turn into the flaming tunnel of terror. Not so in Purgatory. The brownie incident from a few weeks ago, still made me clench my stomach in fear.

  “Are you sure?” she asked with a glazed look in her eyes. “Cheesecake makes all of your problems go away.”

  Oh, now I got it. Duh. Why had it taken so long to sink in? No wonder they’d forgotten Callum. They were cheesecake addicts.

  I offered my best polite smile. “I already ate.”

  Her long skirt swished as she walked around the coffee table and held the platter under my nose. “You can eat as much as you want,” she said with wide-eyed admiration as she licked her lips. “We have cherry, peach, and cinnamon streusel.”

  Okay, I’ll admit I thought I heard that cinnamon streusel cheesecake calling my name. I’d never heard of streusel on cheesecake, but hot damn, it had caramel sauce and pecans. I did my best to ignore Aedan’s scowl as I greedily took a small porcelain plate bearing a slice of cheesecake. The poor woman looked ready to have a heart attack and die twice if I didn’t have at least a few bites. Besides, where else could I eat gluteny graham cracker crust and not get explosive diarrhea other than in Heaven? I had just survived a horrifying ordeal in Hell, for goodness sakes, where the water was tainted and rats and spiders were grilled extra crispy. After all I’d been through, I deserved a slice of cheesecake. Actually, I deserved the whole damn pie. I’d prevented the freaking apocalypse!

  I continued to ignore Aedan’s scowls as I twirled gooey caramel sauce around my fork. I blocked out all sounds of him huffing and puffing as I sank my teeth into fluffy, creamy goodness and rich cinnamon and sugar roasted nuts. Mmmm. Aedan could grumble all he wanted. My mouth was practically having an orgasm.

  “Would you like another?” Aedan’s mom asked as she pried the empty plate from my hand. What? Whoa. I didn’t even remember eating the whole slice.

  What the heck is in this cheesecake?

  “Sure, thanks,” I said and pointed to the one with cherries. I eagerly took a bite and moaned as the tart cherries and creamy cheese did the tantalizing tango on my tongue. This pie was even better than the first. No wonder Aedan’s mom ate so much cheesecake. This stuff was like Heavenly crack.

  Aedan’s mom sat next to her husband on the sofa across from us, demurely folding her hands in her lap as she batted her lashes at Aedan. Wow. She sure was pretty, and she had such a small, pert nose. I wondered if she was able to fit her finger into such tiny nostrils, but I realized Heaven probably didn’t have boogers, anyway.

  “So now you’ve found a nice girl, will you be settling down in Heaven?” she asked her son.

  I glanced at him and held my breath, awaiting his response. I could think of no better Heaven than an eternity with Aedan. Oh, yes, and cheesecake. I reminded myself I’d have to get his mom’s valet to give my valet the recipe.

  “I could sure use another hand on the farm,” his dad said as he held a hand up above his head. “You should see how tall the corn is.”

  Aedan leaned forward, fixing each of his parents with stern looks. “Actually, Pa, we’re going on a trip. We just stopped in to say goodbye.”

  “Oh, where to?”’ his mom asked as she clapped her hands together. “I hear the coast is lovely this time of year.”

  Aedan’s dad pulled a cigar out of his front shirt pocket and plopped it in his mouth, chewing on one end. “Yes, soak up plenty of sunshine. It’s good for your constitution.”

  “Oh, it will be plenty warm where we’re at,” I piped up cheerily. I had no idea why, but the notion of traversing through Hell didn’t seem so bad anymore. As a matter of fact, I was certain we’d have quite the adventure dodging demons and drinking horny water. Ohhh. It occurred to me I could drink all the water I wanted because I’d have Aedan to satisfy my urges. Hell was looking more appealing by the moment.

  I smiled at my boyfriend as I thought about all the nasty things we could do to each other in the fiery pit of doom. I was a little disappointed to see my smile was met with a scowl. What bug had crawled up his ass? Oh, well. Whatever it was, he’d get over it. I gladly accepted a slice of peach cheesecake from Aedan’s mom, vaguely aware I’d already polished off two slices.

  Everyone turned to a knock at the door, and Aedan’s mom hurried out of the parlor, clapping her hands together and saying something about how much she loved guests.

  Aedan’s dad pulled the cigar out of his mouth, looking thoughtful. “I wonder who that could be?”

  I heard Aedan’s ma squeal, followed by a rush of low voices and the swish of skirts. Aedan’s mom came in clutching the elbow of a familiar-looking woman. “Look who’s here, The Murphys. Isn’t this a grand party?” A couple flanked his mom’s left side, both attractive brunettes dressed in old-fashioned garb.

  I thought I heard Aedan swear, which was weird. Didn’t he like grand parties? I sure did. I followed the lead of Aedan and his dad and stood, plastering on a smile as Aedan’s mom made the introductions. Mr. Murphy kept mentioning something about me being a granddaughter while the young woman next to Aedan’s mom scowled at me. I had no idea what I’d ever done to her, but for some reason I didn’t care. I gladly took another slice of cheesecake as Aedan’s mom passed the plates around.

  “You must be Ashley,” Mrs. Murphy said as she smiled from across the room.

  “Yes,” I mumbled as I shoved a bite into my mouth. I’d had no idea peach cheesecake could taste so good, but it had this cinnamon sauce mixed with the peaches, giving them a sweet, crunchy texture. Wow! I was in Heaven… literally.

  “You have the Murphy eyes,” Mrs. Murphy said as she eyed me intently. If I hadn’t been enjoying my cheesecake so much, I would have thought her direct stare a little creepy.

  “So I’ve heard.” At least I thought I had. I got the feeling I should have been annoyed when she co
mpared me to the Murphys. I had the vague impression I didn’t like that side of the family. In fact, I think that’s why I’d changed my last name to my mom’s maiden name.

  Before I knew what was happening, Mrs. Murphy was sitting next to me, prying the cheesecake out of my hands and wrapping me in a hug. I gaped at her when she pulled away, surprised to see a fresh sheen of tears in her eyes. “Your father was my great, great, great grandson. It’s a shame you never got to know the Murphy side of the family.”

  Was it? I didn’t remember why I didn’t know them, but they seemed nice enough.

  Mar, who surprisingly looked a lot like me, set down her lemonade with a clank. “I just came to speak with Aedan.” She shot me a look that could have boiled steel. “Alone.” She emphasized that last word. Why, I had no idea. What did I care what she and Aedan did together as long as I had my cheesecake?

  “Do you have any blackberry topping?” I asked Aedan’s mom. “With whipped cream on top?” Blackberries were my favorite fruit. I thought I remembered eating them straight off the bushes when I was a child, but my memories were a bit fuzzy.

  “Of course,” she said as she stood. Then she looked at Mar. “You and Aedan may use the sun-room while we entertain your parents in the parlor.”

  Aedan cleared his throat before hooking his arm through mine. “Whatever you have to say to me, Ashley can hear, too.”

  “Fine,” Mar growled as she stomped out of the room.

  Hey, hang on! I didn’t sign up for this. I want more cheesecake!

  Aedan O’Connor

  Dear God, my day couldn’t get any more disastrous. Somehow, I suspected what Marie’s meeting would be about, and I was in no mood to hear it. To make matters worse, my girlfriend was drunk on cheesecake. I’d warned her not to eat it. Why didn’t she listen?

  I walked into Ma’s sun-room with purposeful strides, shielding my eyes against the glare from the bay window. When I was a child, this room had been off limits to me because of the delicate furniture and porcelain fineries. Even now I refused to sit down on Ma’s white brocade sofa, so small I feared it wouldn’t hold my weight. I chose instead to stand by the fireplace. Mar was about to launch into one of her lectures, and I had a better edge if I stood. Somehow, my mom had slipped Ash a slice of blackberry cheesecake, so she flopped onto the sofa, too focused on stuffing her face to pay us any heed. Ash was going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. Served her right.

  Marie gathered up the fabric of her white eyelet dress and stepped over Ash’s outstretched legs, not sparing her a second glance as she marched straight up to me. “Tell me if it’s true. Did God grant you permission to get Callum?”

  And so it begins.

  Muscles coiled in my neck as I hardened my resolve. I would not let her wear me down. “Yes.”

  She huffed, planting both hands on her hips. “And what of Katherine? Did you plead for her soul, as well?”

  Every muscle in my body tightened, and I had to force myself to unclench my jaw. “No, I did not.”

  She took a step back, splaying a hand across her chest as if I’d struck her with a verbal spear. “Aedan, she is your wife.”

  “She is not my wife. Till death do us part.” Resentment welled up in my chest as I followed her. “That was one of our vows. At least I remembered to obey them while we were married.”

  “You are no better than Katherine was.” Mar waved a hand at Ash, who was kissing her berries. “Cavorting around with her.”

  “Her name is Ashley,” I growled, “and I will not have you speak ill of her.” Though I planned on chastising Ash plenty after she sobered up.

  Mar stomped her foot like a petulant child. “If Callum has been forgiven, so should Katherine.”

  I shook my head, leveling Mar with a stern look. “Callum has atoned for his sins. Katherine has not.”

  “Again, you are in no position to cast stones.” She stepped forward, jabbing a finger in my chest. “If God will allow Callum into Heaven—”

  “Purgatory,” I interrupted as I gently pushed her away and stepped back. “He will never gain access to Heaven.”

  “Very well.” She crossed her arms, her green eyes flashing with defiance. “If God allows Callum into Purgatory, then so should Katherine be admitted, and since I can’t trust you to bring her back, I suppose I must go.”

  “Holy fuck! There’s a party in my mouth. Blackberries and cheesecake are doing the tango.”

  I stifled a curse as I turned to Ash. She was laughing while licking crumbs off her plate.

  “Such foul language.” Mar scowled down at Ash and clucked her tongue. “I’m ashamed you are a Murphy.”

  Though I knew the cheesecake had been drugged, I couldn’t help but be embarrassed by Ash’s behavior, too.

  She smiled up at Mar. “I’m not a Murphy. I’m a MacLeod.”

  “Marie,” I said sternly, hoping to shift her focus off my girlfriend and make her understand my position, “you are not coming with us.”

  She pulled back her shoulders. “I must. Katherine has suffered enough for her sins.”

  “Marie, you have no idea the horrors you will face down there. You are not prepared for that world.”

  “He’s right,” Ash laughed. “There’s no cheesecake, only grilled spider and horny water.”

  Mar’s eyes pooled with moisture. “Imagine the horrors my poor Katherine faces each day. I cannot stand it a moment longer, knowing how much she suffers.”

  Mar swallowed a sob and turned away, making me feel like a ten-pound bucket of dog shit, and I suspected she knew it. After over a hundred years of arguing with Mar, I’d become accustomed to her tactics, using vulnerability to try to persuade me. She’d tried this several times when I’d first become a Grim, thinking if she shed enough tears, I’d step off that elevator and go searching for Katherine. What Mar failed to understand was, even if I’d managed to find Katherine, she still wouldn’t have been allowed admittance into Purgatory. She’d have been stuck on the elevator with no way of getting off. Other Grims would have eventually come for her and hauled her back to Hell.

  “Hey!” Ash threw down her plate with a clank, stood, and stretched her arms to the ceiling. “Didn’t Aunt Kate try to send me into the fourth dimension with a big ass knife through my chest?”

  Marie cringed but didn’t turn around and acknowledge Ash. “I am sure her fight for survival has hardened her, but if I go down there, I can convince her to repent.” She looked up at me with pleading eyes. “I just know it.”

  “Marie, Katherine is far beyond repentance.”

  “Your brother haunts Earth and steals souls.” The sweet lilt of her voice rose, almost turning shrill. “I heard he’s even burned out the eyes of ghosters and Grim Reapers.”

  “Those are rumors. Callum is a good man.”

  Pools of anger simmered beneath her gaze. “And Katherine is a good woman.”

  “The only thing she’s good at is being bat-shit psycho,” Ash giggled right before she leaned back and propped her shoes on the pristine white fabric of Ma’s sofa.

  Mar spun around in an angry swish of skirts. “How dare you!”

  “Enough!” I bellowed, stepping between them. “Mar, you cannot come with us, and that is final.”

  Her bottom lip quivered. “I don’t recall asking for your escort.”

  For a moment, a seed of fear sprouted within my chest, but then I realized Mar had to be bluffing. “You’re going down there by yourself?”

  She flashed a smug smile. “That’s none of your concern.”

  “It damn well is my concern.” My voice rose along with my ire. “I will have enough on my plate without having to keep you from becoming some demon’s bitch!”

  She gasped, stumbling back. “Oh, such language. You’ve changed, Aedan, and not for the better. I can see coming here was a mistake. Good day.” Shoulders ramrod straight, she turned and marched for the door, throwing it open with surprising force. “Mother, Father,” she called. “It is ti
me to go.”

  Fool that I was, I followed her. I couldn’t end things with Mar like this.

  Mr. Murphy stepped forward, hands in his pockets and green eyes framed with lines of sadness. Though people were supposed to look younger in Heaven, Mr. Murphy’s youth always seemed drained away, most likely the effect of having to live with the knowledge his daughter would be stuck in Hell forever. It was no easy thing for a parent to accept. Still, I had always admired how he chose to face the truth rather than bury it beneath cheesecake.

  He rubbed his dark beard, eyes glazing over as if he was lost in thought. “Not just yet,” he said to Mar before turning to me. “Aedan, I’d like to have a word with you, as well.”

  I stepped back, holding up my hands. “Mr. Murphy, I’ve already made up my mind on the matter.” It was hard, really hard, refusing the man anything after all he’d done for Callum and me.

  Mr. Murphy seemed to age before my eyes as he heaved a weary sigh. “I know you have, son, but this will only take a minute.”

  As I followed him into the sun room, I got this sinking feeling in my gut that I was marching to my own funeral.

  Ash MacLeod

  “Oh, Goodie! Aunt Mar is coming with us to Hell. Isn’t this a grand party?”

  I giggled as we rode the elevator down to level thirteen. Aedan said he was dropping me off at a place called Delta House. I thought I’d lived there once. Maybe my friends lived there, too. I tried to recall their faces, but I kept conjuring up a skeleton, a giant crow, and some green monster thing. Weird. My head was so fuzzy, and my body felt weightless. Aedan kept scolding me about eating too much cheesecake, but I felt more like I’d smoked an entire hash pipe and taken a few hits of acid. Not that I’d ever done those drugs before, at least I didn’t think I had.