For The Love of Ash

by Taylor Lavati

"My parents are assholes. If I had a set of understanding, compassionate people, maybe I would have turned out differently."

  "That's probably true," I said, looking across the bench at her. She had a look of sorrow in her eyes. "You can't pick your family."

  "'Ain't that the truth."

  "Well, if it matters, I think you turned out just fine."

  "Thanks, pal!" she joked, punching my shoulder.

  "I won't be able to go out with you much. I'm not a very good friend." I felt like she deserved a fair warning. She had to understand that Asher was first in my life and everything else was secondary.

  "You're doing just fine." She smiled at me, and it was so genuine that I felt myself tearing up. I reached into my bag and grabbed a cigarette, lighting up again. I guessed it was going to be a chain-smoking kind of day.

  June laid back on the bench, her legs dangling off one side and her head against the hard green plastic. I just sat there, watching nothing and everything at the same time.

  After a few minutes and a sore butt, I laid the same way that she was. My long dark hair spilled over the side of the bench. It was much more comfortable this way. Plus we had an hour to kill before my next class.

  "Uh oh, here comes Mr. Sexy," June whispered as she sat up straight on the bench. Her hands immediately shot to her head. She quickly fixed her short hair, patting it and stroking it down. She crossed her legs at the ankles and laid her hands over one another.

  "Seriously?" I drawled.

  I didn't bother sitting up. Instead, I looked over to get a glimpse of whoever she was talking about. When I saw him, I swear my jaw dropped. But I didn't want to let him know that I was ogling him.

  He sauntered over, swagger dripping from him like sweat. It annoyed me how attracted to him I was. I didn't want to be. I couldn't afford it anyway. I knew what came with guys like him. Wreckage. And I needed to focus on Asher one hundred percent. I couldn't slip up.

  "Hey, June," he said as he stopped in front of us. As I looked at him upside-down, I realized that I was still sprawled out, lying on the bench. I sat up fast and my head was slow to the taking. The blood rushed into my brain, my sight spotting, but after a second, I was back to normal. I tried to fix my shirt so it covered my midriff, but I ended up just playing with the frayed hem.

  "What's up, Lukey? It's early for you to be here," June said. She had on her sexy voice, batting her eyelashes and arching her back so her breasts were perking.

  "You memorizing my schedule again, June?" Luke's gray eyes seemed to entrance June. I couldn't help but scoff at the whole thing. "Find something funny, Sunny?" he asked, rhyming. I rolled my eyes at his whole theatrical shit.

  "Just you and your egotistical ways."

  "You two know each other?" June asked, her brows crinkling together.

  "Hardly," I answered.

  "Looks like you left quite the impression on my new best friend here." June smiled and put her arm around me, tugging me close to her.

  "Hardly." He mirrored my words, with added snark.

  "He made me say I liked sausage in my mouth!" I eyed him with daggers, but June just laughed. I wanted her to take my side, but instead she laughed more, almost crying. Luke just smirked and chuckled. His laugh was beautifully raspy.

  "Hey, you said it." Luke sat on the bench across from us. It was good though because there was a solid five feet of pavement between us. He sat with his knees spread apart, his elbows resting on them. His gray shirt clung to his chest, matching his eyes. His jeans were loose, yet tight in the right areas—like his butt.

  "You made me!" I yelled back to him, pointing my finger. "And you dared me to do it."

  "So, Asher told me he's on a U12 hockey team. We're playing hockey in gym, and he's helping me lead the class. Is he actually on that team?" Luke asked, changing the subject dramatically. I felt like I had been slapped in the face—a verbal whiplash.

  "Don't talk about him like you know him," I snipped out, not wanting Luke and my brother to collide. They were completely separate worlds. Bottom line.

  "I'm his teacher. I do know him," Luke said, meeting my gaze head on.

  "I think I'm going to get some food at the cafeteria," I told June, refusing to look at Luke. That jackass was challenging me—about my own brother! I didn't like it one bit.

  "Want me to—"

  "Nope. We'll talk Friday." I got up from the bench without a word to Luke and started back towards the building.

  "What the fuck is your problem?" June asked Luke. Her voice was high, so I heard it well, even though I was at the doors already.

  "I didn't know it was such a hot topic."

  "Just shut up," she said. The doors shut behind me and I was removed from their conversation. I had about an hour to kill before my class with Luke. I didn't know anyone else. I had absolutely nothing to do, no homework yet, and I didn't bring bills.

  I went into the bathroom on the bottom level of the school and read my text book in a stall. Since I missed class, I would have a little bit of catching up to do. I might as well start now then.

  Chapter Eleven

  Maggie

  I finished reading Chapter Eight and still had thirty minutes left. I started going through the end of chapter questions, testing myself to make sure I absorbed what I just read. I was just finishing up question nine when my cellphone alarm sounded, telling me that I had ten minutes to get to class on time.

  I packed up fast, bid my stall a farewell, and walked slowly up the two flights of stairs. I peeked in the room first and saw that it was empty. I was glad. Just as I walked through the barrier, a tornado of a person zoomed in and grabbed my shoulder.

  "What the hell is your problem?" Luke asked as he whirled me around so I had no choice but to look at him. I ignored him, not wanting to say a thing to him. I ran to my seat, flopped down and stared through Luke, straight ahead at the empty board. It was a struggle not to look up at him.

  He let me go, dropping his arms at his sides, and I walked towards my desk. I heard his heavy steps behind me. I sat down in my usual seat, him right behind me.

  "Look at me," Luke said, tapping on my shoulder. I knew that Luke was going to keep bothering me until I addressed him, so I turned around and glared at him.

  "I'm not talking about my personal life with you, ever." I made sure to draw the line clear in the sand. I didn't want to be the person I used to be. I was selfish, and I hated myself for not being there for Asher sooner.

  I was an out of control college student. I lived in a dorm, smoked and drank, partied almost every night. Someone that looked like Luke would have never stood a chance against me.

  But I had responsibilities now. Asher was my sole responsibility and any distractions were not welcome.

  "Duly noted." He sat back and crossed his arms defensively. I smiled and cocked my head to the side before turning around in the seat. I was glad that I still had my aggressive spark and could put guys in their place.

  Not more than five minutes later class began. Luckily, Atwater had a jam-packed schedule for today, and my mind was easily diverted away from the gray-eyed asshole behind me. I listened to every single word that came out of Atwater's mouth.

  About half way through class, Luke coughed. When he did, a slip of paper happened to fall on my desk. I looked at it like it was a bomb. I was hesitant to open it, but my curiosity got the better of me.

  Forgive me?

  Fine.

  I wrote back fast. Dr. Atwater was so oblivious to us that I knew he would never catch us passing notes. God. We were passing notes. What were we? Thirteen? I tossed the paper back. My stomach rolled knowing that his eyes were roaming over what I just wrote. Luke chuckled under his breath, and my stomach knotted up at the noise.

  Why don't you talk about Asher?

  because it's not your business.

  I never said it was.

  then stop acting like it.

  Seriously, you need to relax. I brought up gym class. I'm his teacher! I think
you can handle it.

  it's not a problem of me handling it. I don't like people sticking their nose where they don't belong.

  My nose is tucked away safe.

  HA. HA.

  You know he talks about you like you're a god.

  What the hell was Asher telling people? His scribbled out words made me think that maybe Luke did know more about me. I brushed my finger along his last line, smudging the ink by accident. Asher had a tendency of making things seem better than they really were. I didn't want Luke to think I was this wonderful person, when it was far from the truth.

  He talks about me?

  daily.

  what's he say?

  oh now you want to know…

  Yeah. Tell me!

  give me your cell

  NEVER

  Seconds ticked by, and I knew he wasn't going to respond until I gave him the stupid number. I wanted to know what Asher had been saying to Luke so badly. Yet, I didn't want to give up my cellphone number. I could imagine Luke taking advantage of it.

  It was a prepaid, so I guess I could easily just change it. Damn him. I quickly scribbled down my cellphone number and then chucked the wadded piece of paper behind me. This guy was good. Once the paper was out of my hands, I knew I was doomed. My heart sank.

  As if my life just needed one more thing, Luke and I got paired up for a project due in two months. It was easy. All we had to do was read a chapter from our text and present it to the class. But it meant that I had to work with him and be civil. I couldn't just ignore him.

  We were assigned chapter seven, which dealt with punishments and rewards for children. I started jotting down ideas for our visual display, while Luke did God knows what behind me. We were supposed to be working on a plan for the remainder of class, but I ended up doing it alone.

  As I wrote in my notebook, I looked under my arm and tried to sneak a peek of Luke. Every time I saw him he was hunched over, ear buds in and not working at all. It was frustrating, but I needed good grades, so I wasn't going to slack. I tried to get as much done as possible so I would have less to do at home.

  In my one-track mind to finish the work, I didn't hear Dr. Atwater dismiss class. Luke tapped on my shoulder, and when I popped free of my homework bubble, I saw the class thinning out.

  "Here," I said to him. I dropped a group of notecards on his desk, so he could at least look them over. I didn't want him to fail for some asinine reason.

  "What's this?" he asked me, flipping through them like they were a fan.

  "I did your part of the project. I'll have the rest for you before we have to present," I muttered as I cleaned up my desk. I threw my notebook into my bag, zipped my pencil bag, and then shut my backpack. I paused, waiting for him to say something like a thank you, but he didn't. He remained quiet in his seat, so I simply got up.

  "Hey, Sunny?" he asked as I was about to leave. Nothing like waiting until the last second. I paused, my back still to him.

  "What?"

  "You're good, you know?"

  "I'm good?" I asked back, turning to face him with a frown.

  "Yeah. I don't know your situation." I was about to object and run, but he held up his hand, stopping me. "It's okay. I won't ask again. But I'm not a bad guy."

  "I never said you were a bad guy."

  "You didn't have to say it."

  "Well, you're good, too." I smiled at him when his face lit up in a real smile. I couldn't hide the utter joy that consumed me, so I turned and walked out of the room, resisting the urge to run before Luke completely took me over. I was giddy over making him smile, and my stomach twisted.

  Who says that? You're good.

  Chapter Twelve

  Luke

  She was an enigma. That's what I had come to the conclusion of. I didn't understand a single thing about her, but she was different in every way. I wanted to know more about that difference and not just because of Asher—because of her.

  Why did she claim to not talk about Asher, yet I could see how proud she was of him? Someone had fucked up her past, and I felt this urge to destroy them for ruining such a smart girl. Maybe that was it. She was so smart that she was overthinking things. Shit. I had no idea what made the girl tick.

  I pulled the piece of paper with her number on it from my pocket and laid it on my lap as I drove over to my parents' house. My father was still there, but that wasn't my reasoning for going. Lilly was going to help me apartment hunt today.

  I parked in the front of the house, next to the fountain in the center of the circular driveway, and texted Lilly that I was here. I picked up the piece of paper and programmed Maggie's phone number into my cell, debating what to do with it.

  I wanted to text her badly, but I knew that this wasn't going to be like any other girl that I saw. She wasn't a one-night-stand or hookup type. She had a son, and I didn't want to scare her off before things even got started. Something extra was within her that I wanted to understand before I committed myself.

  "Boo!" Two hands banged against my window, making me jump in my seat and drop my phone on the ground. I glared through the glass at my sister who just laughed as she tapped on the glass, waiting for me to lower the window. I glared as it slowly screeched down.

  "You're an ass."

  "I got you so good!" she yelled, leaning into the window. She had a huge smile on her face, one I hadn't seen since before I left for school. She rested her head on her arms as she looked up at me.

  "What's up, Lindsay?"

  "Who were you texting? You had crazy eyes." She widened her own eyes for emphasis.

  "I did not." I frowned down at her, shoving her arms off the window of the car. "It's not your business anyway."

  "You live in my house; you are my business." She tried to keep up the tough guy act strong but failed miserably when her smile broke through and she laughed. "Kidding, but really. You are. Who's the girl?"

  "It's not a girl. Just someone from one of my classes."

  "I repeat, who's the girl?"

  "She's nobody."

  "So it is a girl. Good to know. Dare I say, Lukey Pukey is growing up and having big boy relationships? Gasp!"

  "Can you at least try to be less dramatic? I have a headache."

  "On a serious note, I'm an awesome listener and I love you, so if you need any advice I'm the sister to turn to." She clicked her tongue and winked at me, like I really had a choice.

  "I'll keep that in mind."

  "Oh, and before I go, Dad leaves tomorrow. So you're out of my place. I'm about ready to pull my hair out listening to Mother go on and on about new design ideas. The woman's never worked a day in her life, and she's trying to tell me how to run my business. Fucking ridiculous."

  "What's fucking ridiculous?" Lilly asked as she pulled open the passenger side door and jumped in.

  "Nothing. You two have fun. Have her back by ten, Luke. It's a school night." Lindsay blew us both a kiss and then skipped up to the front door and inside the hollow house.

  "What's vibrating in the seat?" Lilly sat up in her seat and moved around, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. I did too.

  "Shit, that's my phone," I said as I reached between the seats. It fell pretty deep and as I struggled to get my hands between the crack, I knew that they were too big. "You have to do it. My hand's too big." I directed Lilly to my phone and soon enough, she fished it out with the tips of her fingernails.

  "Who's Sunny?"

  "A friend." I grabbed the phone from her hands before she could read the text. Luckily, it said Sunny instead of Maggie—not that they would know Maggie anyway. Lilly seemed to drop it as I spun the car around the circle and started to drive in the opposite direction of the house.

  "So, where we headed first?" Lil asked, her phone lighting up her face as she texted away.

  "The realtor has three places lined up today. The first is near Lindsay's apartment." I was excited for this one.

  When we got to the first location, I was finally abl
e to check the message from Maggie. My heart was beating faster and faster the entire short drive wondering what she texted me. Then I got confused since she didn't have my number. Shit.

  Sunny: Who is this? Luke?

  Sunny: Am I supposed to know what Tksh akdhj aid! means?

  I actually laughed out loud.

  "What?" Lilly looked at me strange, like I was growing a second head. I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and shoved the phone in my pocket.

  Apartment hunting round one was an utter failure. The places were all too big for me. I wasn't looking to have a three bedroom mansion, and I was afraid that was my own fault for hiring the family realtor. I thought my mom was screwing with me behind the scenes to keep me in the prison of her house a little longer. Or maybe it was her subtle way of telling me to settle down.

  I sent a text to Lindsay to see who she used to find her place, because it was exactly what I was looking for. Lilly and I both got into my car, and I felt my phone vibrate again. It was killing me in a way I usually didn't get. I wasn't a technology buff, so being attached to my phone was a foreign feeling.

  "Where do you want to eat?" I asked Lilly, since I promised her a meal for her undying and super supportive help.

  "That burger place." She didn't look up from her phone.

  "What burger place?"

  "You know," she said, finally placing the phone on her lap. "The one that serves breakfast. With the big bar. My friends all go there. Plus, they have burgers. So good, and mom never lets us eat meat at home unless dad's there."

  "Okay, Prime Time, right?"