For The Love of Ash

by Taylor Lavati

  She bit on her lip, her eyes downcast. "What about one of your sisters? Would they watch him for an hour?"

  "Probably. Let me call my house."

  I could tell that Maggie was nervous as I pulled up the circular driveway to my parents' house. She was picking at her sweater and jiggling that damn knee. I put my hand on her thigh and squeezed.

  "Do you want to come in, or should I run in Ash?" I asked her. I didn't want to push her to meet my family, but she had already met most of them, so she had no reason to worry.

  "I'll come." She nodded and muttered something under her breath like she was trying to convince herself that this was okay. Ash was already near the front door by the time Maggie caught up.

  "Your house is huge," Asher said as he looked up at the large lantern-like lights on either side of the high double doors. "I've never seen a house with three stories. Can I look at them all?"

  "I can ask Lindsay to show you the hidden staircase."

  "Are you kidding me?" He grabbed onto my forearm like he truly didn't believe what I was saying.

  "Not at all, dude. Come on." I grabbed his hand and pushed my way into the house. Every single light was on, but it was strangely quiet. I kept walking with Asher's hand in mine until I realized Maggie was missing in action. I looked behind me and saw her standing in the doorway, her jaw dropped down in awe.

  "I knew your family was well off, but this is an estate. I don't want to touch anything in your home." She stepped forward as I reached my empty hand out and leaned into me, her hand on my chest.

  "It's not my home. It's not anyone's. It's a cold house." I pulled them forward to the bottom of the stairs and paused. "Hello?" At the sound of my voice, a stampede of feet raced down the hallway, and I saw them emerge at the top of the stairs.

  "Hi, Maggie!" Lilly smiled, first to appear. Liam was behind her. He waved, smiled, and then looked down at his cellphone, which was turned to the side like he was playing a game.

  "Is Linds here?" I asked. Asher nuzzled into my side, and I squeezed his hand.

  "She's in the shower." Lilly hopped down to us, one step at a time, and bent down to say hi to Asher. "How are you doing, buddy?" she asked in a soft voice.

  "I'm good," he said, but he clung to my side.

  "I remembered at Prime Time you said you played hockey, so I went into the basement and guess what I found?" This made Asher perk up. "I found a whole bunch of hockey and lacrosse stuff that Luke used to play with. Want to know something else?"

  "Yes." He nodded vehemently.

  "I convinced that guy up there to play with us, too."

  "What about Lindsay?" Asher asked.

  "We can do two versus two in the basement. But we have to split the boys up. So, you can be on my team or Lindsay's. I have to admit, I know how good you are, so I kind of want you on my team so we can win."

  "All right."

  I looked down at Asher who was beaming.

  "You two have fun."

  I glared at Lilly because I knew what she was doing. She was pushing me out. Although I appreciated that I would have alone time with Maggie, I felt like she had something up her sleeve. I'd have to interrogate her later.

  "Have fun, baby." Maggie crouched in front of Asher and pulled him into her for a hug. She squeezed him tight. Asher scrunched up his nose and rolled his eyes at me behind her back, but I knew it was jokingly.

  "Will you be back before I go to bed?"

  Maggie looked up at me in question.

  "Of course," I said.

  "Okay. Love you guys! Bye!" Lilly reached her hand out towards Ash, and he took it. She led him up the stairs, leaving Maggie and me in the foyer. She was swaying and I couldn't help myself.

  I scooped her up into my arms and pulled her into my chest. She giggled as I bent down and kissed her neck all the way to her wet lips. I wanted to get lost in her, but I also wanted to take her on a real date. I placed her back onto her feet and grabbed her hand.

  "Let's go on a date, Miss Sunshine."

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Maggie

  I never expected to be wined and dined by Luke Wilson. But as we waited to be seated, I realized that this was exactly what I always had dreamt of. I was in a real relationship with a man I actually saw a future with. And I was trying not to be scared. I was taking chances and broadening my horizons.

  The buzzer in my hand began to vibrate and flash in red. Luke and I walked to the hostess stand where a beautiful woman with hip-length blonde hair stood tall. I handed over the square disk, and then she led us to a two-person table in the back.

  "Your server will be right over to take your drink order." The woman eyed Luke up and down, probably admiring the way his button up flannel shirt hugged his biceps. But Luke didn't even give her the time of day, and I watched the woman leave with a huff.

  "You're funny," Luke muttered without taking his eyes off the leather-covered menu. That's how you knew the place was nice.

  "Why do you say that?" I placed my menu over my plate and glared across the table at him. He mimicked me, laying the menu flat, and then unbuttoned the sleeves of his shirt.

  "Well, for starters, your eyes are green." He smiled as he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, revealing both arms full of tattoos. I couldn't see my favorite one, but I knew it was up there near his shoulder.

  "My eyes are always green."

  "But they were just green with jealousy."

  "I wasn't jealous!" I defended myself.

  "Whatever you say…" He picked the menu back up.

  "Fine, I was jealous. Happy?" I conceded just so his attention would come back to me. I was addicted to him. The server came over and introduced himself as Ronaldo. Luke ordered himself a fancy red wine, and I copied him, ordering the same thing.

  "Can I ask you a question?" I asked after I took the first sip of the wine. It was heavy, and I had to fight back the urge to wrinkle my nose. Despite my parents being wealthy, they weren't heavy drinkers—only socially to look sophisticated.

  "Am I going to want to answer it?"

  "Maybe. I'm not sure."

  "Ask away." Again, he put his menu down and made eye contact with me.

  "What's the significance of the clock?"

  "On my arm?" I nodded. He steepled his hands and placed his chin on top. "It just reminds me not to lose track of time. To use every minute like it was my last. There are things I want to do in life, and I don't want to forget that time is constant. It's always moving, and I just don't want to forget my priorities."

  "I see."

  "That's probably my smallest tattoo. Why did you ask about that one?"

  It took me a moment to think about a deeper reason other than it being my favorite. "The way the clock is warped on the side made me think it has a backstory, some reason other than the design was cool. Plus, it's my favorite of your tattoos."

  "Do you want a tattoo?" he asked me, visibly relaxing now that the conversation was off of him.

  "Wait. I have a follow up question."

  "What, are you prosecuting me?"

  "Please," I whined because I knew he would give in.

  "Hurry up, Maggie. I don't feel like answering much more."

  "What's your dream in life?" He frowned at me, so I explained further. "Well, with the clock, you said there are things you want to do in life. What things do you want to do?"

  "I used to want to teach English in countries with poor education systems. I looked into a program through my college that lets you go for free for a year, kind of like abroad, but you'd be working. I wanted to make a difference in children's lives who actually needed guidance."

  "And you don't want that anymore?"

  "It's not that I don't want that; I just don't think it's something that will ever happen for me." He looked down at the white tablecloth, and I reached across it for his hand.

  "You should do it."

  "I can't leave my sisters."

  "Why not?"

  "There are thing
s you don't need to know. I just—they need me. Don't ever tell them I said that because they would feel so guilty, but they do. Look at this," he said as he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket. "Lauren, Lilly, Lindsay, Lindsay, Lisa, Lilly. Even fucking Liam texted me this morning asking where the good cereal was."

  "You're a good brother."

  "I'm not. I'm selfish. I don't want to leave them because I know if something were to happen, I would get the brunt of the guilt. And I don't want to be guilty. I don't take care of them for them, I do it for me."

  "Are you two ready to order?" Ronaldo asked as he stopped at the center of our table. He pulled out what looked like a mini iPad and stylus and smiled down at us. He was working for a good tip.

  "Um, let's see." I could tell that Luke was flustered. "Can I get the ribeye and the garden salad?" Ronaldo nodded and then faced me, the same smile plastered all over his face.

  "I'll have the salmon," I told him.

  "Anything else for you all? Perhaps an appetizer?"

  "That'll be it," Luke snapped. It was the first time I saw him agitated. Normally he exuded coolness in all things he did. There was an awkward pause in our evening as I sat with my hands clasped over my lap. Luke was looking down, whether at his phone or spacing out, I wasn't sure.

  "Listen, I'm sorry. I just dislike talking about my family and all of their drama."

  "I only ask because I care about you."

  "I know." He looked up and smiled. "You don't like talking about your parents; it's the same thing."

  "I will if you honestly want to know."

  "I do," Luke said, and my stomach sank. I didn't actually think he would care to know all about them. He had kept his distance from the subject ever since we were with June that day on the bench.

  "What do you want to know?"

  "Eventually, I'll want to know everything. I like you, Maggie. I want to stay around."

  "I'm glad." He reached across the table, around the candle, and laced his fingers with mine. It was easy sitting here with him. Despite the heavy conversation, I liked it.

  "You still have to open up." He grinned like a damn cat, a mischievous look in his slate-colored eyes, knowing I was going to bury the convo.

  "Simply put: I never even knew them. I felt like my mother only had kids so she could talk about them and go to the classes with her friends. Their social status was more important than their kids, and I knew that my whole life.

  "It wasn't a terrible life. I never went without. Thirteenth birthday I got my own laptop. Sixteenth birthday I got a car. They bought their love, and I was selfish enough to accept whatever I got. Looking back, I was desperate.

  "I hit a rough patch in high school. My therapist says it was because I was seeking attention by getting into trouble and rebelling. The worst was when I went to college, realized I wasn't hot shit anymore, and slept with anyone with a dick. That was really fun."

  "It's so strange."

  "Thanks."

  "No. God, Maggie. I meant it's like you were a completely different person. You're so responsible and caring and honest and just genuinely good. I would never think you would be like that."

  "Well, I was. So that's me."

  "I'm sure a part of them—"

  "Don't." I held up my hand. "They didn't love me. Ash was so much younger than me, I thought that maybe they had changed. But it's obvious they didn't. I just wish I knew how Ash felt about them so I could've stepped in before."

  "Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you weren't ready to take care of Ash back then."

  "Sometimes I don't think I'm ready now." It was a full on pity party, and the effects from our conversation were translating into our meal. Ronaldo came back with our plates on a tray and delicately placed them in front of us. "Let's talk about happy things."

  "Like how beautiful you are and how badly I want to jump this table just so I can kiss your sadness away."

  "Yeah, like that."

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Luke

  I was feeding Maggie a piece of steak across the table when I felt my phone vibrate right on my crotch. I jumped a little, and Maggie giggled when she realized what was going on. I glared as I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that it was Lindsay.

  "You know it's rude to call someone when you know they're on a date." I smiled across the table at beautiful Maggie. The candle made her face shadowy, her eyes vibrant jade.

  "Luke?" She sounded frantic. "You have to come home. We're locked in my room, but Dad is going crazy."

  "What's going on?" Maggie asked, but I hardly registered it.

  I waved my hand when I saw the waiter walk by and gestured for the check. We had to go. Now. Maggie's eyes widened, and I saw her leg jiggle beneath the table, making the silverware clink.

  "We'll be there soon. Stay where you are and make sure Ash is okay."

  "Ash?" Maggie questioned the second I got off the phone.

  "There's a problem. My dad did something, but Lindsay was crying. I couldn't understand her. We need to get home. Do me a favor? Go get the car."

  She didn't ask another question as she leapt from the table without getting her coat. I stood and grabbed it as I reached into my wallet and pulled out my Bank of America card.

  "Here." I handed the card to Ronaldo the second he came back, and as if he could feel the worry roll off of me, he hurried back to his stand. I gathered our things while I waited for him to come back.

  "Thank you. I'm so sorry we had a family emergency."

  "No problem. I wish you the best." I quickly scribbled my signature down on the receipt and gave him a twenty-five percent tip for being such a nice guy. I waved and then ran to catch up with Maggie.

  She had the car pulled around the front of the building, and when she saw me jogging out of the five star restaurant, she scooted over into the passenger side of the truck so I could drive.

  "What is going on?" she asked the second I was on the road.

  "I honestly am not sure." I fidgeted with the steering wheel, sitting up straight as if that would help me drive faster and safer.

  "There's something you're not telling me." From the tremble in her voice, I knew she was just seconds away from crying so I decided to tell her my secrets.

  "My dad hit me. At first, he hit the girls, but then I offered myself so he would leave them alone. I think he hit one of them."

  "Asher?" She was crying. I looked across the console at her, and she had her hand to her mouth, holding back a sob.

  "Maggie, look at me." I reached over and pulled her arm down so she would focus on my words and hear them. I pulled to a stop at a red light and met her eyes. "My father is a piece of shit. But he would never hit another person's son. He wouldn't risk it. Trust me."

  "I'm scared, Luke." The admission hit me right in the gut, and it was worse than all the beatings in the world combined.

  "Come here, baby." I reached my arm out towards her and she leaned over. I dragged her in the middle of the car and let her rest her head on my chest. I was sure that she could hear the erratic beating of my heart, but just having her close was containing my anger.

  "Will you wait here?" I asked Maggie as I pulled around to the back of the house. I didn't want Father to know I was here until I knew what was going on.

  "You're kidding me, right? My son is in there."

  "I figured I'd try. Be quiet, we'll sneak in the back." I grabbed her hand and tugged her along with me to the back kitchen door. The bottom level of the house was blanketed in darkness.

  I quietly opened the back door and was about to step into the house when Maggie pulled me backwards and looked up at me. "Should I be scared?"

  "No," I promised her and then kissed her on the lips. When I pulled back, her mouth was set in a firm straight line, and she nodded.

  I knew where I wanted to go first. I had to find Asher, leave Maggie there, and then find my father. Enough was enough of this shit. I sighed and then walked fast through the kitchen, past the livi
ng room, and down the hallway. I didn't want to clomp up the stairs, but I wanted to get Maggie up there so I could deal with Father.

  I knocked lightly on Lindsay's door. People muttered from behind the wood, and then I heard the lock flip. Lindsay peeked out the door, and when she saw me, she swung it open.

  "Mom!" Asher yelled as he ran over to Maggie and jumped into her arms. He was so big, but she lifted him easily and held him against her like she was afraid to lose him.

  "What the hell happened?" I pulled Linds into the bedroom. I quickly looked around the room to see who was there. Lilly was texting on her phone, earbuds in on the couch in the corner. Liam was in Linds's bed, passed out.

  I shut the door, locked it, and then dragged her into the bathroom that was attached to only her room. I shut the door there too to make sure that Ash and Maggie couldn't hear us.

  "It's bad, Luke." Her bottom lip jutted out and shook. She acted so strong, but she didn't deserve to deal with this shit. I pulled her close, and she wrapped her arms around me. I held her as her body trembled, until she finally pulled back and wiped her tears.

  "Are you okay?" I asked her.

  "He hit Liam in the face. Not a closed fist, but Liam's poor face is already bruised." Shit.

  "What brought it on?" Father never punished unless he thought it was for the benefit of the child. He was a fucking joke. I shook my head and refocused on Lindsay.

  "And then Liam said that he wanted to develop video games. He knows all this crazy shit about codes and programming. But Dad wasn't having it. He walked into the kitchen when it was just me and Liam, and he pulled up Liam by the back of his shirt.

  "You should've seen him. His eyes were so alarmed, I thought they might pop out of his head. Liam started crying, and that just pissed off Dad more. He threw him on the ground, and when I rushed over, he gave me the look." She paused and wrapped her arms around her mid-section.

  "And he just hit him in the face."

  "Yeah. After Liam told him to go back to whatever whore he was fucking in the hotel he rents down the street."