by Layla Dorine
Hesitantly, Nicky wheeled his way up to a spotted horse and held out his hand. The softness of its muzzle made him laugh as it sniffed and snorted and nuzzled him. He pet it gently and rubbed the side of its face, staring into those huge eyes and wondering how in the world he was supposed to get all the way onto the back of one of them.
“Magnificent, aren’t they?”
“Yeah,” Nicky breathed as he continued to caress the horse’s cheek. “But…how am I supposed to climb up there?”
Dr. Anderson chuckled. “If I had a dollar for how many times I was asked that, I could retire early. You’re actually more fortunate than most, you have one good leg, so boosting you into the saddle will be fairly simple. Someone will help you swing your bad leg over the horse’s back and get your foot situated in the stirrup until you are able to do it yourself.”
“Wow.”
They moved down the row to a large black horse.
“Way different from a dirt bike now, aren’t they?”
Nicky nodded as he reached to pet this one too. “Oh yeah.”
“We’ll start you on Monday, give you some time to be sure that this is really what you want to do,” Dr. Anderson stated.
“I don’t need time. I’m sure already,” Nicky insisted, reaching up to try and scratch the horse’s ears. It nuzzled him, and Nicky rubbed its soft mane and the side of its neck as it leaned out of its stall to reach him.
“I like him,” Nicky said softly.
“He is a she, and a little small for you, I think,” Dr. Anderson replied. “But don’t worry, the staff down here are real good about matching riders with the perfect animal.”
Now here he was, ten days later, perched on the back of a blue roan mare with his feet in the stirrups and the reins in his hands. Of course, what that really meant was that someone had put his bad foot in the stirrup for him and that only one hand was actually holding on like it should. The other he was working on closing. He’d already learned the hard way that in order to actually move he was going to have to press his knees together against the horse’s sides, both preferably, as his particular horse seemed to get it into her head to turn if you used only one.
That was okay. Nicky was getting better at it with every passing day, and while his muscles ached after each and every session, he could feel them getting stronger too. Learning to move with the horse had been the easy part; his body had found the natural rhythm and flow and adapted to it the same as if he was on a dirt bike. In truth, he loved the feeling, and the freedom of not being confined to the chair. From up here, he could almost pretend he didn’t need it; at least until it was time to get down again.
He’d been shaking when they’d helped him onto the back of the horse the first time, and immediately he’d gripped the mane tight and lean forward over the horse’s neck, trying to wrap his arms around her.
“Relax,” the trainer cautioned, touching Nicky lightly on the shoulder. “I won’t let you fall, but you will make her nervous if you keep on doing that.”
Slowly, Nicky eased up, raising his head until he could look into the trainer’s eyes.
“She won’t move until you urge her to. Just take a moment and get the feel of being up there. It’s okay.”
Cautiously, Nicky stroked the horse’s mane, recalling Gray’s words about being friendly.
“Hey, girl,” he crooned in her ear, loving the way she flicked it back and forth, listening. “Nice girl. You’re a really pretty girl, Sapphire. In case you can’t tell, I’m kinda scared. You’re way bigger than my bike.”
As if laughing at his comment, she gently tossed her mane and let out a little neigh.
“It’s, umm, really odd being way up here. Kinda scary too. I don’t want to scare you though, and I really don’t wanna fall off, so can we take it slow?”
She neighed again, and Nicky stroked her neck, then straightened up more.
“Here, let me help.” The trainer adjusted the reins in his hands. “Keep your strong hand here, but don’t pull, and work on closing your weak hand here.”
He grimaced as he concentrated on closing those fingers, proud of the fact that he got them to close loosely around the reins.
“Now, press your knees to her sides and off we go.”
That first ride had been as grueling as it had been amazing, but every day that he got to leave his chair behind in the barn felt like one step closer to never having to use it again. He urged Sapphire around the ring, a big grin stretching across his face. With his bad hand he stroked her neck and petted her mane, then renewed his efforts to close his hand around the reins.
By the third time around the ring, he did manage to grasp the reins in his bad hand, and held on for another two rotations, before the ache in his fingers made him loosen his hold. Still, after resting his fingers for a few turns, he closed his hand around the reins again, his smile brightening even more at the praise he received from the therapist riding beside him. Someday he’d be able to go out riding with Gray and they wouldn’t be confined to a ring. There were a ton of horse trails to go exploring on, and Nicky eagerly looked forward to seeing as many as they could.
***
“Want to take my truck?” Terry asked.
“Yeah, maybe we’d better, especially with all this stuff,” Jake said, gesturing at the pile of things they’d planned to bring.
The two stood in Terry’s father’s yard, a small pile of wood in the back of the truck, along with a couple coolers and tents Terry had already stashed there. Jake tossed his duffel bag in the back, alongside Terry’s, and then carefully placed his camera equipment in the cab. This would be their fifth trip into the woods and the second overnight, only this time they were planning to stay for almost a week. Jake had already gotten some amazing shots on their previous trips, and now they were heading to a more remote campsite higher in the mountains. The weather was beginning to get a little cooler, so Terry tossed a jacket behind the seats, just in case.
It was hard for him to believe that it had been two months since he and his cousin had reconciled and started going on these outings, and over five months since Nicky’s accident. So much had changed since then.
***
Nicky gripped the parallel bars. His right hand was still a bit weaker than the left, but it was good enough for this, especially with his good leg working perfectly fine. Slowly, steadily, he lifted his bad leg, moved it forward, then placed it down, shifting his weight to allow the sore one to support him. He winced and cringed as he eased even more weight onto it. When it didn’t buckle like it had every other day this week, he lifted his other leg and took another step. The second was like the first, and hurt more too, but he was able to take one more step before it completely gave out. Nicky’s physical therapist caught him and held him up until he could steady himself.
“Do you want to take a break?” she asked.
“Give me a second, then we can try again,” Nicky said, slowly inhaling and exhaling, trying to take his mind off the pain. Sucking in a deep breath, he fortified his resolve. “I’m ready.”
She let go of him then, and he went about the slow process of taking two more steps before it gave out again. Rinse, repeat, but he made it to the end of the bars where his chair sat waiting. He was grateful for it, in that moment, even if he hated it, but at least he made it to the end of the bar today. He’d come close before and given up, too tired and in too much pain to make the effort. Today felt like fireworks and apple pie all rolled into one. Between weights and the pool, horses and here, he was so close to managing crutches.
“I did it!” Nicky declared as he wheeled up to Raff in the games room, a triumphant grin on his face.
Raff handed him a box and gestured toward a table. Staring down at the dice game in his hands, Nicky couldn’t help but groan. Why Raff loved this game he still didn’t know. There was little exciting about rolling five dice and adding up the scores, but whenever he’d had a rough day, Raff always seemed to choose it.
“T
he question is, which ‘it’ are you referring to?” Raff asked as he sat down. “The one where you finally managed to take a left without scuffing up the wall, or the one where you finally managed to tie your own shoe.”
Nicky laughed and opened the box, using his weak hand to take out the pieces just to prove that he could. It took longer, but he didn’t even care today, he was so happy. “Neither, smartass. I made it from one end of the parallel bars to the other.”
Raff smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Holy shit, that’s awesome. Too bad they won’t allow us a couple shots of tequila to celebrate.”
Nicky eyed him knowingly and passed him a pad and a pen. “Something tells me you could use those tequila shots for other reasons, so spill. What’s wrong?”
“Phantom pains, and my upper thigh was cramping like crazy all day. Every time I tried to do something it would tighten into a knot of agony. They tried massaging it out and making me drink more water, which just made me have to piss like a racehorse for half the afternoon. I don’t know what the hell was causing it, but I wish it would stop.”
“Is it still cramping?”
“No, thank God, but the phantom pains come and go. It just sucks.”
Nicky couldn’t imagine. He didn’t even know how it was possible to still feel a limb that wasn’t there. “Sorry, man,” he said as he pushed the cup of dice toward Raff. “You sure you wanna hang out tonight?”
“Better than lying in my room with nothing else to focus on. Besides, you owe me a rematch. For someone who claims to hate this game, you’re surprisingly good.”
“Nah, it’s just that you’re not as good as you thought you were.”
Raff chuckled, his eyes narrowing at the challenge. “Oh really, valley boy? Well, shake ’em up and let’s see.”
***
“Holy shit, what is that?” Terry tapped Jake on the arm and pointed. There, in the clearing, a bunch of cubs tumbled over one another, batting with paws and wiggling on their backs. Their fur was golden and a huge head popped up, watchful and alert, followed by a second. Mama and Papa cat.
“Lynx maybe, or pumas?” Jake whispered excitedly. He swung the camera around and began taking pictures. Terry just stayed still, watching, in awe of the creatures.
It was breathtaking, and Terry felt lucky to have this opportunity to see them. He started getting more nervous the closer Jake got, but his cousin seemed to know what limits to push and when to pull back, and the super lens he had on had a damn powerful reach. Terry had been really impressed by many of the pictures and couldn’t wait to see these. When Jake came creeping back, his face was lit up with a huge smile.
“I can’t believe the shots I just got. Holy shit.” The cats started heading back into the woods. “We’ve got to upload them when we get home and find out what they are. I didn’t know we had wildcats around here.”
“Neither did I,” Terry admitted.
Though they took several hundred more amazing pictures over the course of their trip, the cats were the best. The pair were so excited when they arrived back at Terry’s dad’s house that they barely got the truck unloaded before rushing in to the computer. They crowded around it, searching for different cats before they found the ones that they were after. Lynx, and they were pretty rare for this area. They read up on them, with Jake taking notes and everything. Even after Jake left, Terry couldn’t stop thinking about them. He knew Vic had said not to come by, but Jake had left a few pictures behind on the computer so Terry could show his dad, and knowing how much Vic loved wildlife, Terry hoped Vic wouldn’t mind him sending a quick email, sharing the photos and detailing where they’d seen the cats. Terry was shocked when his phone went off about forty-five minutes later. It was Vic.
“Hey,” Terry said cautiously when he answered.
“Terry, are you sure of the location?” Vic asked immediately.
“Yeah, absolutely, we were camped up there all week. Only saw them once, on Thursday. They were in the clearing for about an hour and then they took off. My cousin took all kinds of shots of them.”
“This is great,” Vic said happily. “Would you be able to drive up with me, show me exactly what clearing and where you guys were observing from?”
“Yeah, um, sure.” Terry stared at his phone like it had grown two heads, wondering if Vic wasn’t looking for a place to bury him.
“Awesome. There’s plenty of daylight left. If you come over now I’ll pack us some sandwiches and drive us up. This is huge, Terry,” Vic said, his excitement only seeming to grow.
“If you say so,” Terry said, still utterly baffled by the lack of hostility.
“I do,” Vic said. “I’ll explain everything on the way.”
“Okay. I’ll be there soon,” Terry said.
“Thanks, Ter,” Vic said before hanging up.
Terry drove back to the valley in a daze. It had been a long time since he’d heard Vic that excited about anything. It actually had him excited to find out what was so special about the cats. They were beautiful, but there had to be more to it, from the way Vic had sounded like he was actually bouncing in his chair. A small smile crossed Terry’s face as he pulled up to the house to find Vic standing outside beside his four by four, grinning, with a couple brown sacks in his hand.
“Hop in,” Vic said as soon as Terry climbed out of his truck, and Terry did, shocked when Vic didn’t immediately opt for the radio. Instead, he told Terry all about the problems they’d been having with the cats, how elusive they’d been, and how lucky that no one had been hurt yet, even if they had killed some hiker’s dog. He quizzed Terry on their size and behavior, and Terry answered everything as best he could until Vic ran out of questions. Still, he didn’t turn on the radio and instead let silence fill the vehicle before addressing him.
“You didn’t have to send me that information, but I’m really glad you did,” Vic admitted.
“I’ve known you long enough to know it was something you’d want to see. I just didn’t know it was so important.”
“About the most important thing we have going on right now. If we can relocate them before they hurt someone, and tag them, we can keep track of their patterns, and that would be amazing. I’m grateful just to be able to work on the project, but to bring in such detailed information and pictures...seriously, Terry, you just helped my career big time.”
“Will you get to help catch them?” Terry asked.
“Man, I sure hope so. It would be awesome just to be close to them for a little while, and once they have trackers on them, we can see where they hunt, and how far they roam, and where they go when the weather starts getting colder in the mountains.”
“That’s really cool. Think they’ll let you pet one?”
“Oh, I’m sure we’ll all be petting them once they’ve been tranqued.”
Terry glanced over in time to see the excitement still written all over Vic’s face. “How do you catch the babies?” he couldn’t help but ask.
“I’m not sure. Even small their claws are wicked. I think the best part of all this will be how much I get to learn.”
“That’s awesome. I really hope you catch them.”
“So do I,” Vic said, before falling silent for a little while.
Pointing out the window, Terry broke the silence to draw Vic’s attention to a large bird that swooped down and snatched something small and wiggling up from the grass. “What is that?”
“A condor. Huge, isn’t it?”
“Hell yeah.”
“Hey, I talked to Nicky the other day. It’s the first time he’s phoned. He’ll be coming home soon, says he has a surprise for us all too. I can only imagine what it might be, but he sounded really excited. Got me pretty excited too.”
“Yeah?” Terry said hopefully. “That’s awesome news. He’s written to me a few times. I guess he’s told you about the riding therapy and all?”
“Yup,” Vic acknowledged. “He was pretty damned pleased with himself.”
�
��I’m happy for him,” Terry said. “Even if I kick myself all the time for not ever taking him out and teaching him myself.”
“Yeah, you should have, but it’s all water under the bridge now. I know Nicky has forgiven you and, to be honest, I should too. I want to,” Vic said.
Terry jerked, surprised. “Th-thanks.”
“I know there was a lot of shit going on in your head at that time. I wish you’d have talked to one of us instead of lashing out, especially at Nicky. He really loved you, but then you know that. I wish it hadn’t ended the way it did.”
“Yeah,” Terry said softly. “And I’m going to regret that forever.”
“Maybe, or maybe you’ll find that what you learned was more important than what you lost,” Vic pointed out. “As much as you might hate what you let go.”
“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience?” Terry asked.
“Maybe.” Vic turned the radio on then, and they listened to classic rock all the way out to the campgrounds. Once there, Vic was all about work and Terry was more than happy to help. They had lunch after Vic had set up some surveillance cameras and written out coordinates on a map. Terry helped him locate some prints, and Vic took pictures of them, and the path they took. Along the way they found some tuffs of hair and collected samples. It was really interesting. Terry had never imagined Vic’s job entailed all of this. All in all, Vic was thrilled and excited on the way home, and when they pulled into the yard, he killed the engine and looked over at Terry.
“Thanks again, Ter.” Vic grinned, and it was the second time that Vic had used his nickname, and that really made Terry feel good. “Maybe we could try hanging out again. No jealousy, no lies, and no bullshit this time, okay?”
“I’d really like that.”
“Good, ’cause I’m sure Nicky would want to see you at the welcome home party I’m throwing him. And if River can manage to keep his mouth shut, maybe it’ll stay a secret.”
“Just name the date and time and I’ll be there,” Terry said.