by Layla Dorine
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Nicky breathed. “Never thought it would be like this, though.”
“Like what?” Gray asked, shifting his eyes from the Nicky to the sunrise and back again. “So different from the beach?”
“Not the view, just us,” Nicky said. Silence slid between them as they stood beside their horses, watching a calf wobble to his feet and nudge his mother. “I never imagined that a relationship could be this way.”
“I’m sorry,” Gray replied as he draped his arm around Nicky’s shoulders and hugged him close.
“I-I don’t really remember too much of my mom and dad together. Little bits here and there. Them dancing in the kitchen or laughing in front of the TV. Mostly, I just remember how awful it was after he died. The way she’d cry and fall apart at the slightest thing, like finding one of his T-shirts behind the couch when she moved it. I didn’t really understand then, why she didn’t cook for me anymore, or play games with me, or notice my clothes didn’t fit. Losing him broke her. And my aunt, well, she was good to me, but she never really had anyone in her life who she connected with.”
“Love isn’t an excuse for the way your mom neglected you,” Gray pointed out. “That has nothing to do with love.”
“No, I know.” Nicky sighed, fumbling for words to explain what he was feeling. “But at least I know she did love him with everything she had. Which kinda sucks, in a way, since there was nothing left for me. Guess maybe that was why I was so eager to accept anything Terry was willing to offer.”
“Hey,” Gray began gently. “That’s all in the past.”
Nicky turned and gazed up at Gray, giving him a small smile. “I know. I just feel really lucky right now to be here with you, to have you in my life and to finally understand that when someone says ‘I love you’ they aren’t just saying ‘I love what you do for me’.”
It was Gray’s turn to smile then, and he reached out to tip Nicky’s face up so he could brush a kiss across his lips. Nicky deepened it, pressing himself against Gray and letting his free hand slip into Gray’s hair, tangling his fingers in it.
A crow cawing loudly beside them finally broke them apart. As they stepped back, Nicky’s horse neighed, and a lazy smile brightened Nicky’s face.
“You aren’t the only one feeling lucky right now,” Gray told him as he tied his horse to a nearby post, then tied Nicky’s to the opposite one. “I look at you each day and wonder how I got to be so lucky to have such a lovely, talented, amazing man in my life. I am in awe of you sometimes, Nicholas, with how much you’ve accomplished and how hard you’ve worked to build something new for yourself.”
“I wouldn’t have even bothered to try if not for you, River, and Vic pushing me every step of the way.”
“You call it pushing, I call it encouragement.”
“Either way.” Nicky laughed. “The result was the same. I’ll never be able to thank you guys enough for coming with me to that first race after I got home and just sitting with me through it all.”
“I don’t need you to thank me.” Gray trailed fingertips along the curve of Nicky’s jaw. “I’ve never needed those words. Every moment I get to spend with you is thanks enough.”
Nicky closed his eyes and titled his head, enjoying the feel of Gray’s fingers before resting his head against Gray’s chest. “Still, I was terrified just seeing the bikes in the air, twisting, turning, landing, and I was furious. I was anxious and jealous, and a part of me wanted to grab a bike, charge out there, and prove that I could still do it too.”
“I know. Which was why we kept a firm hold on you.” Gray chuckled. “Couldn’t have you going out there and showing them all up.”
Nicky beamed at that, knowing it wouldn’t have been the case, but appreciating that Gray would never say that to him.
“I know you hate being sidelined, but your bike designs allow you to still be a part of the sport. And now that you’re training in Freestyle again, you can still get out there on the track. I know it isn’t the same as racing, but some people aren’t so lucky,” Gray reminded him.
“I know,” Nicky admitted, thinking back to his last conversation with Raff, and the struggles his friend was still having. Nicky knew that he was really lucky that his sponsors had been interested in seeing how well the bike he’d planned out and designed would handle the track and had invested in prototypes. It had been a long year of redesign and troubleshooting before finally getting to see them in action, but the end result had been profitable to them, and to Nicky, who’d been asked to design a second bike for them.
Still, it had been a hard hurdle to get over, attending that first race. And even the fact that the crowd had welcomed him back with open arms had done little to erase the mix of emotions Nicky had felt standing in the booth, watching everyone else on the track doing what he used to love. It was easier now, being a part of the pit crew and helping maintain the bike he’d lovingly designed, but every now and again he got that pang and had to be reminded that his place was on the sidelines, helping their rider get the very most he could out of the machine.
It had moved Nicky to tears the first time Kevin had won on that machine, and a part of him had felt like he’d actually had a hand in the victory too. Working to see his ideas take shape was bittersweet at times, especially when his hand cramped from long hours spent pouring over the drawing board. Fortunately, the exercises he’d learned at the treatment facility allowed him to ease the pain and discomfort, and as time passed, those incidents lessened.
It had been River who had encouraged him to try freestyle again—just the two of them out on the desert track together. Gray had been uncertain and insisted on coming along, and even Nicky himself had been a bit hesitant when approaching the first big jump. But as soon as he was airborne, it was like he’d found his wings again. It was unlikely that he’d ever compete in the event again professionally, but it was a piece of his old life that he could still have back, and that was more important than winning another competition.
“Hey, come back to me,” Gray said as he stroked Nicky’s cheek.
Nicky blinked, pulled from his thoughts by Gray’s gentle caress.
“It’s too beautiful a morning to brood,” Gray reminded him, a look of concern having darkened his features.
Nicky laughed and shook his head a little. “Wasn’t brooding, was just thinking about how right you are. I’m fortunate to still be able to stay close to the sport I love, and I do love it, even if I can’t compete anymore. Besides, can’t beat the view from horseback.”
The admission brought a smile to Gray’s face. “I knew you’d fall in love with riding. It’s a different sensation when it’s a real animal you’re interacting with, instead of a machine.”
Nicky glanced over at his horse, then back at Gray. “She’s wonderful. I love coming out here with you. I love that we can just get away from it all and spend the day trail riding and picnicking wherever we’d like. I still can’t believe you found a stable we could rent horses from without having to travel so far away from town.”
“I wouldn’t trade these moments with you for anything. I’d have been willing to travel twice as far if it meant we still got to do this once a week.”
Nicky smiled and rose up on tiptoe to kiss Gray, melting against him as Gray’s strong arms hugged him tight.
“Meeting you was the best moment of my life,” Gray told Nicky as he stroked his hair. “I didn’t realize how much of my time I was wasting until I finally began to see what promise there was in loving again.”
Nicky stepped back a little and captured one of Gray’s hands, entwining his fingers with Gray’s as he looked up into his eyes. “I want you in my life forever,” Nicky told him. “I want to wake up with you in the morning and fall asleep with you at night. I know your lease is almost up on your apartment, never imagined a year could fly by so fast. I would love it if you would move in with me, please, Gray?”
Gray tightened his grip on Nicky’s hand and used h
is free hand to cup Nicky’s chin and raise his face so their gazes met again.
“I would love to move in with you, Nicholas,” Gray said as he leaned down and captured Nicky’s lips in a gentle, probing kiss. “There’s nothing in this world I’d love more than to wake with you every morning.”
“God, I love you,” Nicky declared, and his kiss was anything but soft and gentle. They lost themselves in each other’s arms, in the fireworks of dueling tongues, and hands that grasped hair and lightly pulled until they were breathless. They drew back from one another, panting and grinning like lovesick fools.
“I love you too, Nicholas,” Gray said.
For the longest time, they simply stood there, locked in one another’s arms, until their horses grew restless and Nicky’s stamped her foot in annoyance.
“I think they’re trying to tell us something.” Gray chuckled.
“I guess we’d better listen.” Nicky laughed before vaulting into the saddle.
Heading down the trail, with the sun much higher in the sky than it had been when they began, Nicky couldn’t help but think about the new adventure he and Gray would soon embark upon, and how grateful he was that they would be heading down that road together.