by Adam Oster
“Okay,” Buddy looked anxiously at the red-haired man behind him. “So, what do we do to make it stop?”
“Well, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm pretty certain that if we can get the walls to stop moving, the latch for the door into the rest of the labyrinth should release, allowing us out.”
“That's all fine and dandy, dad,” Alexa squeaked, “but it still doesn't answer the question of how do we get it to stop.”
“Seriously?” Oscar frowned disappointingly. “This is quite possibly the simplest trial in the whole program. You're ready to give up already? Maybe we shouldn’t have come down here.”
“Look, pal,” Buddy said, grabbing Oscar by the shirt collar, “enough games. I know I'm strong and all, but I can't possibly hold all of these walls in place without getting all of you squashed as well, so unless you have some trick on how to get out of here--”
“Zero?” Oscar asked.
“Easy as Maggie's Raspberry Pie,” Zero said as he cracked his knuckles. He closed his eyes as his purple aura expanded out from him, creating a purple film against all of the walls. The cranking sound shifted into a grinding noise before finally halting. The room was silent, briefly, followed by a faint click.
Oscar pushed his way through the rest of the group to the door on the opposite side from which they entered and touched it with one finger. It swung open easily. “See, like I said, nothing to get worked up about.”
The group entered the next room as the lights flickered to life around them, showcasing a square corridor with a door on each of the four walls. Just as they entered, they heard a pop behind them.
“Dammit, Kent,” Buddy said as he turned to greet their visitors. Kent and Murphy stood in the doorway they had just exited. Kent scowled as Murphy clapped with excitement.
Alexa silently removed the fifty dollar bill from her back pocket and handed it to her brother.
“The infamous back door to The Bunker!” he said with glee. “I had come to believe it was nothing more than a myth.”
“Frankly, I'm surprised it's even a myth,” Oscar responded. “No one's supposed to know about this.”
“Oh, I have many files on information that people aren't supposed to know about. The speculation regarding the so-called Founder's Statue has been rampant, but I had always leaned towards believing those who hypothesized it would be some sort of secretive entrance to your old base. It only made sense, after all, considering how much trouble the reconstruction crew went through in their efforts to move the cursed thing, only to be foiled time and time again.”
“What are you doing down here?” Alexa asked. “How did you even know we'd be here?”
“Oh, we never went too far away. I had placed Agent Kent here to watch over you all after we had talked. I knew you had to have been up to something. Now, the real question is, why would Jeffrey Flores have been trying to enter his own base through the back door? I find it hard to believe that it would simply be an issue with him having misplaced his keys.”
“I hadn't thought of that,” Ryan replied. “Could Jeff have been trying to get in through the back door like us?”
“I had actually considered that idea,” Oscar answered. “Although, as Mr. Murphy here stated, it would be pretty weird that he'd be trying to break into his own hideout.”
Murphy clapped his hands in excitement once more. “Oh, I love watching the plot unfurl. I can't wait to see what happens next!”
CHAPTER 17
“Congratulations on making it through the qualification trial for Oscar's Funhouse!” the voice of D.A.W.N. said. “Welcome to the Hall of Doors. Here you see four different doors; each will lead to a different trial, outside, of course, of the one you just entered through. You must complete seven trials in order to gain entrance to The Bunker itself. But be forewarned, each trial is harder than the last, and most definitely harder than the first. Oh, and, good luck!”
“I thought you said you didn't know anything more about the back door, D.A.W.N.,” Buddy asked.
“I didn't,” D.A.W.N. answered, sounding surprised. “It looks like part of the routine for the funhouse includes adding new speech requirements to my own programming. It's all pretty exciting, isn't it?”
“Exciting's not the word I would use,” Talmadge groaned.
“Oh, little Talmadge,” D.A.W.N. said sadly. “Did the last room scare you? I'm so sorry. I hope you don’t think I’m doing this intentionally. If you need someone to blame, please remember that all of this was designed by Oscar. I’m a slave to my programming, you know.”
“Hey now,” Oscar reacted. “It's his own damned fault. I told him he shouldn’t come down here.”
“He's right, D.A.W.N.,” Talmadge said as he dropped his head. “I made the decision against his advice.”
“Oh, come on sweetie, don't lose heart. I’m sure that you will all come out of this thing in the clear. Speaking of which, is everyone still doing alright? It seemed like you dealt with the qualification trial easily enough, but you know how I tend to worry.”
“Everyone is still present and accounted for,” Zero answered. “In fact, we managed to gain a couple of new entrants to the game.”
“Oh, really? Who?” D.A.W.N. asked excitedly. “No, wait, don’t tell me. Let me guess!”
“This is magnificent,” Murphy exclaimed. “Is she real, or some sort of artificial intelligence?”
“Hold on, my speech pattern recognition software is picking up something,” D.A.W.N. let out a gasp. “It’s not possible, is it? Would you really bring--”
“D.A.W.N.,” Buddy cut her off from completing her sentence; “this is Agent Murphy, one of the folks from the Meta-Human Defense Team. He's got Agent Kent with him as well.”
“Oh, thank God. For a minute there I was concerned that you had Da--”
“There's no need to be concerned, D.A.W.N.,” Buddy looked to Murphy, “is there?”
“Oh, no, we intend to be of no nuisance. We're just here looking for the same thing you are.”
“That brings up a great question,” D.A.W.N. said. “What are you all doing down here?”
“It's, um, personal,” Oscar answered.
“Oh, is it now?” Murphy asked. “What could be so personal that would require you to risk your life in this death trap you've created? Perhaps it has something to do with your ever-advancing cancer?”
“Come on, seriously? How in the world could you know anything about that?”
“Like I said, Mr. Reed, I know many things about many things.”
“There seems to be an awful lot more talking than action on this mission,” Zero cried. “What do we do now, D.A.W.N.?”
“Oh, simple. Choose a door, any door, the one you choose may drop the floor,” D.A.W.N. paused for a moment, then, “Really Oscar? Am I going to be rhyming throughout this whole thing?”
“Not the whole thing,” Oscar answered. “At least I don't think so.”
“Alright, Red, which door should we choose?” asked Zero eagerly.
“Good question,” Oscar responded. “Some of it's coming back to me now. I had gone through so many different ideas on how to theme things down here, I honestly forgot which one I had finally landed on.
“Anyways, if I'm correct, the idea here is that there are seven different trials we have to go through in order to make it to the final trial which allows entrance into the base. Each trial is based on the powers and identity of one of the original Defenders. Out of the four doors available, there are four different possible outcomes. One will be the exit, in this case, the door we just came through. One will bring us to the right trial, the ‘normal’ level, if you will. One will bring us to the next trial, nightmare level. And one is a trap, set to, well, let’s just stay away from those doors, okay?”
“Okay,” Buddy responded as he gave Oscar a questioning look. “So, which door do we pick?”
“Yet another good question,” Oscar answered. “I remember creating a system for determining which door woul
d take you on the best route through the complex, but I'm having a hard time remembering what it was.”
“That’s useful,” Alexa groaned. “What's the point in having you along if you don't remember anything about this place? I thought we needed you down here to act as our guide.”
“Just give me a moment. I’m sure I can come up with something. What year did we design The Bunker?”
The group looked at Oscar blankly. Zero quickly chimed in with, “1999! I remember because it was the same year--”
“Yeah, yeah, let me think for a minute, Zero,” Oscar said, looking at the walls. “Okay, so, 1999. There are four options. What was I doing in 1999?”
“Fighting baddies!” Zero answered, attempting to be helpful.
“Right, but what else was I doing? I was running the Meta Human School, right? Of course, I can’t think of what that would have to do with all of this. I had two kids, right? That was crazy considering all the stuff Rose and I were trying to do as Defenders, but I still don’t think that has anything to do with it. What else? It seems like it was something that had come from way too many sleepless nights and was just stuck in my head.”
“Is this truthfully how the infamous Defenders of America work?” Murphy asked in frustration. “The way I had envisioned your actions was that you would burst onto the scene with pure confidence. What I’m seeing here looks like you’re just bumbling your way forward hoping for success.”
“I told you, sir,” Kent added. “They are an undisciplined bunch. They only succeeded in their battle against, ahem, Damon Memphis because of sheer luck.”
“It’s beginning to look like your summation was accurate, Agent Kent.”
“Look, pal,” Buddy said, pointing his finger in Murphy's face. “We don't have to prove anything to you. If you don’t like the way we do business, you can just feel free to pop yourselves right back out of here and leave us to our work, alright?”
“That's the spirit Mr. Jackson ,” Murphy said, clapping his hands. “Perhaps you will be able to amaze me yet.”
As Murphy talked, Talmadge walked forward, without a word, to the door opposite the one they entered through and opened it.
“Talmadge,” Oscar yelled as he heard the knob turn, “no!”
Talmadge did not respond and he entered the newly available room silently. The group looked at each other uncertainly, anxious to learn what had become of their new-found ally.
Talmadge peeked back through the door. “Hey, are you guys coming or what? This room's pretty cool!”
Oscar stepped forward and turned to the group. “Well, you heard the boy. Let's go.” He walked swiftly to the opened door as the rest of the entourage followed.
On the other side of the door was an expansive cave, filled with jutting rocks, covered in overgrown greenery. On the far side of the room was a glittering pile of shiny objects, with a large and intricately cut pink jewel sitting atop a pedestal in the middle.
“Hey, I remember this room,” Oscar offered with excitement. “This is the one I based on Rose. She was really into those old adventure serials, so I designed this to look like an old school treasure temple. What do you think?”
Zero's eyes were wide as he absentmindedly rubbed his injured neck. “This is amazing, Red. The room stretches on for forever.” He stepped forward. A click sounded to the left of them. Whiz, snap! “What the--” Zero yelled as he reached over to grab an arrow that was now sticking out of his left arm. He fell to the ground.
“Damn it, Zero!” Oscar yelled.
Alexa ran to his side. “Are you okay?” she asked.
Zero sat up weakly. “What the hell was that?”
“Well, if you weren't so damned reckless, I could have warned you. Haven't any of you ever watched those movies? Places like these are loaded with traps. You have to watch your step. Every step.” Oscar looked at Talmadge, “The same goes for you kid. What right do you think you have to just go traipsing through one of these doors? What happened to Zero could have happened to you, or worse.”
“I’m sorry,” Talmadge responded, his head hung low. “I just knew that it was the right way to go, you know?”
“No, I don't know. Don't let me catch you doing that again, okay?”
“Fine, okay.”
“Hey,” Zero yelled, “man down over here. Starting to feel mighty weak already.”
“Sorry about that Zero. Hold on a sec,” Oscar said as he walked to Zero's side. He pressed several buttons on his wrist, which caused a compartment to open on his forearm revealing a syringe. “That's some pretty strong poison you've got coursing through your veins right now. I'm surprised you're even able to sit up.”
“I'm sitting up?” Zero asked as his eyes rolled back into his skull. He somehow remained in the seated position.
Oscar knelt down beside the injured man and looked at the arrow still stuck in his arm. “Hey, Buddy, can you give me a hand here?”
Buddy ran over. “What can I do?”
“I need you to get this arrow out of here. Hopefully I can stop the--”
Buddy grabbed the arrow and was just about to pull on it as Oscar placed his hand on Buddy's arm. “No, you can't just pull it out, don’t you know anything? See how the arrow came out the other side?”
“Yeah?” Buddy asked.
“Okay, so, break the damned thing in half already and then pull out the two pieces in the direction that will cause the least amount of additional injury.”
“Yeah,” Ryan laughed. “You dummy.”
“Shut up,” Buddy yelled back as he broke the arrow in two. “This is my first time treating field injuries from twelfth century weaponry. Or any weaponry for that matter.”
“Okay, Zero,” Oscar said, plunging the syringe into Zero's arm. “This may hurt a bit.” Zero screamed once, fell onto his back, and went silent.
No one dared even breathe, until, “Actually,” Zero said through clenched teeth, “the bow and arrow dates well before the twelfth century. Archaeologists believe they have found reason to date the first usage of the weapons to as far back as--”
“Jeez, enough with the history lesson already,” Kent interjected. “Is he okay to go?”
“Not so fast there, Mr. Kent,” Oscar rebuked. “This man's still got two open wounds and a whole ton of poison coursing through his veins. The anti-venom I just shot him up with will take a bit to work its way through his system and I need to get him bandaged up before he loses too much blood. Maybe while I’m getting him set, you folks can figure out the key to getting out of this room alive?”
“Okay, so, what's the plan then?” Ryan asked. “Dad said this is the room based on Mom, right? So, Alexa, it probably means we'll need you to take charge.”
“Why's that?” Talmadge asked.
“Mom had the same power Alexa has, speed. Thought that would be pretty obvious.”
“I'm not sure what's obvious anymore.”
“I know the feeling,” Buddy agreed.
“Okay,” Alexa responded, “so, you think it's really as simple as me running over and nabbing the pink jewel thing? What do I do when I have it?”
“Oh for Christ's sake,” Kent muttered. “It's not like this is that hard.” He disappeared with a pop and reappeared next to the gemstone with another. Instantly he fell to the ground, writhing in agony as he rolled down the side of the gold placed around the pedestal. He hit the solid ground hard, a loud clicking sound coming from just below where he landed.
“Alexa!” Buddy yelled. “Get him out of there!”
Alexa disappeared in a sheet of wind, hundreds of clicks being heard at once as Kent disappeared from his place below the gem. Alexa returned and placed Kent at Murphy's feet as the room filled with flames, shooting arrows, and shrapnel-laced explosives. Zero had barely put up a purple field in time to restrain the blasts from affecting the crew.
“Come on, folks,” Oscar yelled. “I told you to be cautious. Did you really think it would be that simple?”
“Wel
l, Mr. Kent, I believe you’ve just shown your brash actions are not always the best method for moving forward,” Murphy scowled.
Kent merely responded with a groan of agony.
“Wow. Alright, so, next question,” Ryan spoke. “Are all these traps one-shots?”
“Nope,” Oscar announced. “They were all set to have an indefinite amount of reloading capabilities. Had to be certain that they wouldn't become ineffective merely because enough people had attempted to make their way through.”
“Of course. Okay then, so, Alexa?” Ryan asked again. “What do you think?”
“That thing's electrified,” Alexa responded. “If I touch it, it won't matter how fast I am, I'm going to be just as bad off as Kent was.”
“Well crap,” Buddy added. “What the hell are we supposed to do now? I don't remember those old movies having much for electricity in their temples, Oscar.”
“I added a few additional touches, so sue me.”
“I just may,” Buddy quipped back.
“Okay,” Ryan jumped in. “What if Zero were to create a zero gravity field around it and pull it over? That should work, right?”
“I don't see why not,” Zero responded. His eyes closed as a purple fist escaped from his chest, reaching out to the gem the room required them to take. As soon as the fist made contact with its target, a steel box came down from the ceiling, surrounding the gem as it sparked to life with electricity.
“Okay,” Ryan responded. “I guess not.” He hung his head in thought. “Jeez, Dad, why did you have to make this so difficult?”
“Hey, kid, this is one of the easy rooms, remember?”
“Right, so, what's the trick? There's gotta be a trick. Seems like there should be a treasure map around here somewhere with a cryptic clue or something.” The box went back into the ceiling as Zero released his grip.
“Hey,” Oscar exclaimed, “that's right. The cryptic clues! D.A.W.N.!”
“Hello, Oscar. Are you all having a good time?”
“I am additionally wounded,” Zero answered. “So, I'd say it's as good of a day as I've had lately.”