“I think it would be great fun.”
Deborah took off her straw bonnet. “I think that would be wonderful. Mother would be thrilled to have you come by the house to discuss it.” Deborah glanced around the house and lowered her voice. “We can certainly talk more about the birthday plans, but I was wondering if you’d heard from Jael.”
“I have.” Mara hurried to a small desk across the room. She slid open a drawer and removed a piece of folded paper. “She gave me this just this morning. I was planning to give it to you at church tomorrow.”
Deborah took the paper and opened it. She scanned the lines and shook her head. “Stuart plans to move Jael on Monday. He’s making her stay with her father in Houston so that she won’t have any opportunity to be around me.” She looked up at Mara. “She says we must speak before she leaves.”
“How will you arrange it?” Mara questioned, then answered before Deborah could speak. “I could invite her here.”
“No. Stuart might insist on coming, too.” Deborah considered the problem for a moment, then tapped the side of her temple. “G.W. and Arjan are visiting Mr. Perkins at this very moment. They are discussing business. It would be quite appropriate for them to include Mr. Albright. Let me go speak with them and see if they would do this for me.”
Mara followed her to the door. Deborah stuffed the paper in her reticule and then re-affixed her bonnet. “Pray that this works,” she told Mara before leaving.
“I’ll fetch him right away,” Zed told Deborah. “I’ll say it’s urgent and cannot wait.”
“Thank you so much, Mr. Perkins. I can’t tell you what this means to me.” Deborah turned to her stepfather and brother. “Thank you, as well. I know his company is not desired.”
“That’s all right, Deborah. A discussion between us all is needed,” Arjan assured her. “This is the perfect excuse.”
“I’ll take the long way around to their house. I can slip in right after you and Stuart head back here,” she said, nodding at Mr. Perkins, who was already reaching for his hat.
Once outside, Deborah lost little time. She hiked her skirt just enough to give her legs the freedom she needed, then half walked, half ran to the northern edge of the town. She hurried toward the railroad tracks, doing her best to keep careful watch down the open roads for Mr. Perkins and Stuart. At one point, she heard them before seeing them and barely managed to dart behind one of the houses as they passed along the road just to the south.
With Stuart on his way to meet with the men, Deborah picked up her pace. She didn’t hesitate before knocking on the door. To her surprise, it opened right away and Jael stood in welcome. “Come in quickly. Mr. Perkins managed to tell me what was happening.”
The two women embraced briefly before Jael closed the door. “Essie is gone for the morning. We’re alone. Stuart was quite angry to be disturbed. I doubt he’ll stay long.”
“Then we must hurry,” Deborah declared. “Your letter said it was urgent we speak.”
Jael nodded. She looked gaunt and pale. “Stuart is forcing me to go to Houston. He wants me to stay with my father until he can arrange a house for me. Oh, Deborah! Stuart is acting so strangely. I came across some letters he received, and I believe he has someone at the bank who is giving him information on your family. When advised that money appeared in Vandermark Logging’s account, he ranted around here like I’ve never before seen. I’m not sure what he plans.”
“Oh, Jael, I am so sorry. Are you sure you wouldn’t want to come back to the house with me?”
The young woman shook her head. “That would only make him angrier. I am, after all, his wife.” She frowned and looked away. “And there’s another thing. I think I might be with child.”
Too stunned to speak, Deborah waited until Jael turned back to face her. “I don’t want to be. Please don’t think badly of me, but I asked Stuart for a divorce and he refused. If I’m carrying his child, there will be no possibility that he’ll change his mind. What will I do?”
The hopelessness in her voice caused Deborah to reach out and take her in her arms. Holding Jael close, Deborah let her friend cry. Nothing she could say or do would make this better.
Jael suddenly pulled away. “There isn’t time for this. Stuart told me he wasn’t about to stay for long. He’ll be back before we know it. Deborah, I feel so desperate.”
“Go to your father. He loves you and will keep you safe. Tell him what is happening between you and Stuart.”
“I can’t. If I do, Stuart has threatened to tell Father about my indiscretion with Ernest Remington and pregnancy prior to our marriage.”
“What if he does? It’s in the past, Jael. Your father will not hate you. The family name wasn’t dragged through another scandal. He will see your sacrifice and hopefully feel bad for it.”
Jael considered this for a moment. “He might at that.” She wiped her tears. “But if he doesn’t . . .”
“Why would he not? I think he’s endured enough of Stuart to know what kind of man he’s dealing with. If you are the one to tell your father, then Stuart loses his power over you. He’s convinced you won’t be truthful—that you’re too afraid of the consequences. I, on the other hand, know you to be quite strong and capable. The truth will set you free, just as the Bible states.”
“I fear Stuart, Deborah. I fear what he might be capable of doing to . . . you. He’s already tormenting your family.”
“Don’t you fret over us. God is our stronghold. Stuart has caused problems to be sure, but our hope is in the Lord.”
“I wish I knew more about such things. My family was never all that religious.”
“You don’t have to be religious. Just know that God loves you—that He gave His Son, Jesus, to die for you. He wants to be there for you—to comfort you and encourage you. Trust Him, Jael. He will be faithful to you.”
Her friend shook her head. “I don’t know how God can help in this when Stuart is so very evil.”
Deborah touched Jael’s shoulder. “God is more powerful than the devil. He may have allowed him a certain amount of control over this world, but God will defeat Satan when all is said and done. We need only to stand fast. Don’t be afraid to put your confidence in Him, Jael.”
They both startled at the sound of footsteps on the porch. Jael grabbed Deborah. “The back door—hurry!”
They fled through the house and into the kitchen. “God be with you, Jael,” Deborah said, giving her friend a quick embrace. “Write to me through Mara.”
“I will. I promise.”
Deborah heard Stuart bellowing his wife’s name as she hurried out the back door. She ran from the house, turning to dodge behind one of the other houses and a small stand of trees. Deborah felt the pounding of her heart and paused a moment to settle herself. There was no sense in returning to her family in a panic.
She was focused on heading to Zed Perkins’s house when she saw that Christopher’s door was open. He was back. She knew he planned to come out to the house that evening, but she wanted to have some time alone with him first. Speaking with Jael about talking to her father made Deborah realize that facing her fears was the best advice she could give herself. It was time to be honest with Christopher—to explain her concerns, even if she wasn’t entirely sure what they meant. Making her way across the road, Deborah knocked on the examination room door and opened it.
“Christopher?”
He looked up from restocking supplies in his bag. “What a pleasant surprise.”
“I came into town with G.W. and Arjan. They’re with Mr. Perkins. I wondered if we might talk.”
Christopher came to her. “What’s wrong?”
Deborah closed the door and leaned against it. “Why do you never ask me to join you on your medical calls?”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t ask because . . . well, I presumed there was more than enough work to be done, what with my brothers and sisters at your place.”
“And does that mean you expect me to r
emain there to take care of them?”
Christopher looked uncomfortable. “I . . . uh . . . well, I don’t know what I expected. You know how worried I’ve been, trying to determine how I can provide for them. It’s my responsibility.”
Deborah felt sorry for him. “Christopher, my mother loves having the children there. This is something she has taken on and enjoys.”
“And you want no part of it?”
“I didn’t say that,” she quickly countered.
Christopher reached for her hand. “I’m sorry if you felt slighted. I don’t seem to be able to do anything right these days.”
“Nonsense. It’s not about me feeling slighted.” Deborah drew a deep breath. “Christopher, I want to be a physician. I love medicine—you know that. I love you, as well. I just need to know that I can manage both at the same time.”
“Why would that be difficult?”
“Children.” She felt her chest tighten. “Ever since you returned home with the children, you’ve not asked me even once to accompany you. In fact, you’ve hardly said much of anything to me.”
She could see the regret in his expression and held up her hand. “I didn’t say these things so that you would apologize. I am saying this because it will affect our life together. If you expect me to stay at home and care for your brothers and sisters, then I can hardly be out there assisting you.”
Christopher pulled up a stool and sat. “And what about after we’re married?”
“I understand that your siblings will be a part of our future. They must have a home and care—especially the younger ones. In the fall, however, school will start and they will be busy with that.”
“I see. And what about any children we might have?”
Deborah straightened her shoulders and tried to firm up her determination, but to her surprise, she broke into sobs. Knowing she’d completely ruined any chance to explain this without emotion, she buried her face in her hands.
Without a word, Christopher pulled her close. Deborah hated the way she was acting. How could she hope for him to take her seriously about helping him when she couldn’t even discuss this openly without tears?
After a few moments, Christopher lifted her face to his. “Deborah, are you trying to tell me that you don’t want my children—our children?”
“I . . . I . . . don’t know.” She gasped for breath. “I love you. I know I . . . would . . . love our children. I . . . oh, I don’t know what I’m . . . trying to say.” She tried to pull away, but he held her fast.
“Deborah, calm down and listen to me. You can’t turn away from me. We have to talk about this.”
“I know.” She drew a deep breath and tried her best to settle her nerves. “I’m so sorry. This has been troubling me for so long now.”
Christopher looked at her oddly. “You’ve held this in all along while planning the wedding?”
She felt horrible. Nodding, she reached out to him. “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I was swept away in my desires and dreams. You’re the reason I love medicine. I love you, Christopher. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Who said you would?” He shook his head. “Deborah, we can’t keep such things from each other.”
Deborah sniffed and he handed her a handkerchief. “I’m sorry. I know I was wrong. My mother told me that I couldn’t even think of marrying you if I didn’t trust you with the truth.”
“And what is the truth?”
“I want to use my knowledge and training. I want to continue to learn from you, and I want to marry you. I’m afraid, however, that once we marry and I have a baby, it will all end. I can hardly follow you around to the mills and logging camps with a baby on my back.”
He smiled. “If anyone could, it would be you.” He reached up and pushed back damp strands of hair.
For several moments, neither said a word. They stood quietly gazing into each other’s eyes. Deborah fought back her doubts. “When I left to attend the university, I did so out of a love for learning and a love for my family. I wanted to help with the business, and my father often said that it would be wonderful to have the help. I thought that meant that it was expected of me. Here I am again putting thoughts and feelings into your heart and mind that may or may not be true. Please forgive me.”
He smiled. “Only if you forgive me first. I knew it was going to be a shock to bring home the children. I wanted to consult you—to figure it out together, but there was no time to contact you. I was uncertain as to how you might react. I knew five children would be rather daunting. Of course, Jimmy and Tommy don’t need our attention like the others do. Even Darcy is pretty self-sufficient.”
Deborah thought of the thirteen-year-old. “She’s very much like I was at that age.”
“You said,” Christopher began thoughtfully, “rather . . . your brother said that I could stay in the cabin on your property.”
“That’s true.”
“Would it be possible for us to stay there after we marry?” he asked.
“I believe so. At one time Lizzie and G.W. had planned to move into it, but Lizzie prefers the big house, and Mother loves having them there, as well. Since they added on, there’s really no need to move into the cabin.”
“Then perhaps we could live there. I don’t know how big it is or if we could add space for the children, but if we could, perhaps we could open an office there. We could put out word that people could come and be treated there for their ills and injuries. If we have a baby, you could run the office when I need to go out to the mills. Would that be acceptable?”
“And I could continue to train and attend patients with you until we started to have children?” she asked, feeling her cheeks grow hot. Talking about marital intimacy was hardly something a proper lady did.
“Exactly. And perhaps by that time, the mill here will be reopened and the area will need a full-time doctor again.”
Deborah nodded. “I would think so. Goodness, but I never considered that.” She looked at him. “And you wouldn’t mind? Are you sure?”
He pulled her back into his arms. “I’m quite certain. Marriage is about compromise and working together. It’s also about being honest. Please don’t keep things from me, Deborah. We can work through anything . . . together.”
She relaxed against him and sighed. “I’m so sorry, Christopher. I’m going to do better, I promise. I’ve been so afraid that perhaps I didn’t even want to be a mother—that I would be awful at the job.”
He laughed. “You would make a remarkable mother, and if God blesses us with a child, I’ve no doubt you will love him or her just as you love me. Right now you’re afraid, but I intend to help you get over your fears.” He drew her fingers to his lips and kissed them gently. “I can be most persuasive.” He kissed the back of her hand and glanced up.
Deborah felt her breath catch. Goodness, but he was so very handsome, and he loved her. She felt her heart skip a beat as Christopher touched his lips to hers. Deborah wrapped her hands around the back of his neck and sighed. Her mother was right. Honesty and openness was much better than holding secrets and fears in silence.
Christopher handed Euphanel some money. “I want you to have it for the children. Deborah and I talked, and we’re putting off the wedding trip.”
Euphanel shook her head. “I wouldn’t hear of it, Christopher. We’re getting by just fine. We’ve been remaking old clothes and using up material on hand to see to their needs. The garden is producing in abundance, and G.W. and Arjan killed two hogs just last week and you brought in food not long ago. We have plenty to feed them and they’re earning their keep—believe me.” She threw him a broad smile. “You hang on to this money in case you need something.”
“But you bought them new shoes. Those didn’t come free. I should have seen that they needed them, but it didn’t even cross my mind.”
Euphanel led him to a chair. The summer kitchen was hot and steamy from cooking, but Christopher barely noticed. He had far more on his mind. He’d tried everyt
hing he could to get a nice sum of money together, but folks were bad off. Those who could pay usually did so in trade—a chicken here, a sack of pecans there.
“You seem worried.” Euphanel went back to the oven and peeked at her bread.
Christopher wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of his fears with this woman. She would be his mother-in-law soon—at least he hoped she would—but Euphanel Vandermark was also strong and capable. She’d endured far more than taking on someone’s orphaned children.
“There isn’t much money to be made in this area,” he finally said. “If the mill were back up and running, and if Albright hired me on to be the company doctor, then things would be better. Still, I can’t see that happening.”
Euphanel listened and nodded. “And it’s hard to take on a wife and family without an income.”
“Exactly. Deborah loves it here and I know she would hate to move, but it might be necessary.”
“It happened that way for me, as well. I loved Georgia, and the last thing I wanted to do was move to Texas. Still, it was necessary for many reasons.” She lifted a pot lid. Steam roiled from the pan and filled the air with the undeniable scent of molasses and brown sugar.
“Smells good,” he told her.
“It’s my special beans.” She gave the pot a stir, then replaced the lid. “Secret recipe.” She smiled and sat beside Christopher. “Deborah will do what has to be done. My daughter is strong and knows that life is unpredictable. She is also determined to overcome obstacles.”
“I know, but I don’t want to be the one to take her from her family and all that she loves. It’s bad enough I’d be saddling her with an instant family. She worries about how that will affect her ability to help me.”
“I know. We talked. Christopher, you and I both know that life doesn’t always look the way we think it should, especially when you’re out of step with the times. Deborah has always been that way. She wants to be the Proverbs thirty-one woman—doing it all—working hard—providing for her family—using her mind. Yet society today puts many obstacles in her way.”
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